Cant believe what just happened! They cancelled hubbys leave

[wilma-bride]

I have sent you a PM.

 

[tinkerpea]

So sorry you are having this hassle.

Will work compenstate at all towards the cost of moving the holiday?

Before we had DD we were booked to go to New England when work decided to book a training course DH 'had' to be on. His leave was all approved for the hol but he did a deal that we would move the holiday by a week if they paid the amendment fee (wasn't alot) and he looked v good for being reasonable and putting his career before a holiday.

Hi they think they have done their part by allowing us to now travel on the 5th not sure how thats doing us a favour when its going to cost us alot more!

I have a meeting with the Padre tomorrow as he knows how sick I have been "he dropped hubby at the hospital a few times to visit me" Im hoping that he can speak to higher authority but no promises.

If they would pay the amendment fee id be alot happier we was nearly done paying off our holiday,we could pull together the extra cash but it was put away for other things! I just want this nightmare to end I havent eaten again all day today the thought just makes me sick.

 

[Disneynutinlondon]

So hoping something can be worked out .... I know what you mean about not eating and feeling sick I get just like that as well when I'm upset

 

[loobzuk]

sorry I've nothing useful to add but wanted to send some and hope that you can come to some kind of compromise. This is definitely not what you needed right now and, hard as it is, try not to let the situation make you even more ill. Thinking of you and have everything crossed for a solution that suits.

 

[laura_<3]

How awful

I hope you manage to get something worked out, sending lots of pixie dust

 

[Lisa x]

Fingers crossed they agree to pay the amendment, at least that will be one stress lighter for you. Hope you manage to get it sorted soon so that you can start to relax again and look forward to it

 

[catherine]

Thinking of you and sending lots of PD for you I hope that you are able to get everything sorted so that it works out for you. Hopefully the Padre will be able to get someone to listen and at least pay your amendment cost!

 

[tinkerpea]

Hi all,

Well I went to see the Padre he said is not happy about the way that we have been treated,infact he said that he has been raising the concerns off instructor stress for the last few years,Instructors are way under staffed,over worked,and have to also do alot of admin jobs out of hours!Instructors have at least 4 courses run a yr they run for around 3 months each inbetween that they also teach a few other smaller courses,This he said leaves very little/no time for people to take leave when they want (or at all) so a family holiday can be had.
Instructors generally arnt actually instructors by trade they are Intel analyst's that are brought in for around 3 yrs at a time to teach their trade,so the stress on them and the familys whilst they are doing the job that they are usually thrown into has been proving to be pretty high!Plus Dh has not taken any compassionate leave when ive been in hospital or sick at home.....he has ALWAYS put in leave days as he doesnt like to take the mick and gets my mum to come up from Cornwall to take care of the kids innstead of him taking any time off!

He said that the RAF have a duty of care towards Dh and since I have been so sick for the last 2 yrs he thinks we NEED this holiday and family time.due to the fact the kids have had a hard time seeing me in and out of hospital or just generally sick at home,plus all the times we have planned stuff with them only for them to be let down last minute due to me being too ill.

He has decided to go above Dh hubbys line managment and has contacted some people that may change the decision that has been made he said IF this person does not change dh bosses mind then he will take the matter as far as it needs to go,he feels since Dh is not being deployed and that the reason his leave was cancelled was only because they decided to run another course and they have known about the trip for a yr that its wrong to now take it away when Im having the surgery this month! "I tend to agree" "we would never even think twice about him cancelling the trip if it was due to deployment"


Ive been told not to worry over the wk end and bank holiday BUT i still cant seem to relax and calm down,we looked at flights for the 5th of october and Virgin told us it will be £2080 to get the flights we want due to it now falling into the school holidays for the return flight
We asked Virgin when the flights would come bk down and they said NOVEMBER!!!!! that is NOT a month i want to visit at but if we can't go on the original booking and dh work will not pay the difference then we may have to as we cant afford spending money,Universal tickets,hotel for 1st wk (not disney wks)plus the new flights!!!.

I just know that november is going to be colder then what we like

I also can not believe the time im writing this! I just can not seem to sleep lately(no surprise really)

Thanks again for the lovely messages and support they as usual mean alot
Cindy xx

 

[npcougar]

Wow, I would be concerned with retribution if someone went above my bosses heads.

 

[npcougar]

In the US military you can ruin your career by going above your commanding officer. Your CO can do a lot of things that wouldn't be obvious to impede your career and make your life miserable. Maybe things are better where you are. Ask around and see if I'm wrong. So yes it is a genuine concern if you were here. I'm sorry if I assumed things were the same there.

 

[tinkerpea]

In the US military you can ruin your career by going above your commanding officer. Your CO can do a lot of things that wouldn't be obvious to impede your career and make your life miserable. Maybe things are better where you are. Ask around and see if I'm wrong. So yes it is a genuine concern if you were here. I'm sorry if I assumed things were the same there.

We both come from a strong military back ground My dad is actually American and so is US forces I have never heard of anything bad happening because a Padre has gotten involved in a welfare case.
Its down to the Pardres discretion what he decides to do for the family,He will do what he feels is necessary.He is there to go to when things like this happen My DH did not decide to go above his line commanders head nor did I, I went for advice and he did the rest.

 

[london75]

Sorry but in defence of npcougar, this was my first thought. I'm not military but I see it all the time in business. You might get what you need this year but expect some payback in future years.

The fact the direct request was refused in the first place implies your Husband's CO just doesn't value family or home life. To then be ordered to accommodate it may change his attitude to your DH.

On the other hand it doesn't sounds like he'll be much longer in the training role so maybe not all that bad.

Just be careful that's all, not everyone is as nice as us!

 

[amacspad]

I hope you get thing sorted, sounds like you all really need and deserve this break!

Debs xxx

 

[Disneynutinlondon]

Just hang in there over the weekend Hopefully the Padre will be able to make those that need to see sense and get them to change their minds. You all so need this holiday ...... loads of good thoughts being sent from this family

 

[stephensmum]

Wow, I would be concerned with retribution if someone went above my bosses heads.

She perhaps has enough stress right now.

Thanks for ripping my head off for a genuine concern. Did I say anything about you not needing to go? You might want to go see someone to help with that stress issue.

She did, the Pardre, hopefully it can be sorted out.

Cindy, will be praying for a happy outcome with the op & holiday for you and your family.

 

[RDP]

All I can say is that we have had great vacations in October, November, the weather is not as warm, but its still 70,s and 80,s most days (but cool nights). its still just as magical and you will enjoy it all the more for having to wait. Good luck with your re planning and lots of pixie dust getting everything sorted.

 

[tinkerpea]

Sorry but in defence of npcougar, this was my first thought. I'm not military but I see it all the time in business. You might get what you need this year but expect some payback in future years.

The fact the direct request was refused in the first place implies your Husband's CO just doesn't value family or home life. To then be ordered to accommodate it may change his attitude to your DH.

On the other hand it doesn't sounds like he'll be much longer in the training role so maybe not all that bad.

Just be careful that's all, not everyone is as nice as us!

Hi
I can understand you thinking it,But theres a difference with thinking and putting it on here the way it was worded!as if to say We are doing something wrong by doing what we are.Im already stressed out and worried enough about everything else,
Dh leave was not refused,It was cancelled after being authorised for over a year!! Dh told them a year ago when we booked the holiday,he then has to go and put it on a leave request for this year when the new leave yr comes into play.The leave was granted so we booked the flights after about 2 months he goes into the work last wk and was told that his leave was cancelled due to them deciding to run another intel course straight after the one that Dh was going to have finished teaching on!!

Dh does not have only 1 boss he has many,it wasnt his CO that cancelled his leave it was one of his line managers, it didnt get as far as the high ranks the thing is I went to the Padre after sombody advised me to,I went because I needed to talk to sombody other then my hubby! I wanted to ask his advice on the matter.

The fact is that a Padre in the RAF is a high ranking officer and its actually his job to put weight on important matters,I never asked him to go over dh line manager or go to anybody HE told me that he was taking over from here and would go up the chain of command,Dh never wanted this and so the Padre spoke to him and said that he now thinks he has a duty of care to make sure something is done,
Leave and instructor stress is a big problem right now,the Padre feels that familys and instuctors are struggling because there is NEVER a good time to take leave Dh has not even booked leave compassionate or other wise for my Op this month my mum will be with me instead! he also has always used leave days instead of putting in compassionate for emergency issue's...... the decision has been taken away from us as it is deemed we need this time as a family before our next posting.
I understand that the boss may not like being told he has to give the leave back,Im guessing its a risk we would have to take but,...
The Padre has promised that nothing will come bk on Dh and if anything did that he would take full responsability in going up the chain of command.

Id like to think that since Dh has already given 10years of his time and just sighned on last yr for another 9!!! that they would take that into account,we have never asked for anything not even help with childcare or time off for the compassionate reasons we even re-arranged our wedding and Dh went on deployment at a wks notice due to the fact they was going to send him at the time of our wedding,we had the choice of miss/cancel our wedding after already re-arranging it once! or he went straight away so he would be back intime,He choose to go leaving us no adjustment time what so ever.He also had a stag do leave 3 months ago cancelled at last minute due to staff shortage so its not the 1st time we lost £500 for that because it was booked by the bestman who decided not to pay the £2 insurance on the flights!!. So we dont complain for nothing,we are used to and respect military life! there just happens to be times when family have to come 1st.

 

[tinkerpea]

She perhaps has enough stress right now.



She did, the Pardre, hopefully it can be sorted out.

Cindy, will be praying for a happy outcome with the op & holiday for you and your family.

Thankyou

 

[tinkerpea]

Just hang in there over the weekend Hopefully the Padre will be able to make those that need to see sense and get them to change their minds. You all so need this holiday ...... loads of good thoughts being sent from this family

Thankyou so very much
Im really hoping he can aswell,although if he really cant Im starting to come round to November,I just feel so deflated after the yr of planning.

plus I know how much my boys LOVE pool and water park time and MNSSHP!!
oh well any holiday with loved ones is better then non at all

Thankyou again Much appreciated

 

[catherine]

We went in Nov last year and the weather was beautiful all the time we were there, it was plenty hot enough to go to the water parks and we spent time in the pool! It's the first time that we's gone in Nov and it was the best trip that we'd had!