Cancer diagnosis of husband and more, losing my mind!!

[HappyGilmore]

Okay, First let me start by saying my purpose for posting this is more or less to vent and ask for prayers if you are a praying person add us in.
Where do I begin?

I am a 39 year old wife and mother to two beautiful girls ages 5 and 2. My husband was diagnosed via a bronchosopy on 4/23/09 with stage 3 lung Non-Small Cell Large Cell carcinoma cancer. A 4 1/2 cm tumor in his right upper lobe. On 4/24/09 he had a Pet scan - results from his pulmonologist on 4/27/09-- cancer spread to lymph nodes in his chest. He is 44 years old and a lifetime non smoker.

Prior to his diagnosis he was working two jobs, a full time job he has held for 25 years and a part time job for extra money. He worked after diagnosis until 5/5/2009. We discovered he had no short or long term disability coverage through employer but did have over 1400 hours personal time which would keep his paycheck coming to us til approx 1/15/2010.

Next step medically - we met with a thorasic surgeon who recommened pre-treating w/ chemo-radiation before lung removal surgery with hopes of tumor shrinkage. On 5/6/09 he had outpatient surgery to insert a mediport to be used for chemotherapy and blood draws. He began his 1st of 28 radiation treatments on 5/6/09 less than two hours from being released from the hospital from the port procedure. On Friday 5/8/09 he began his 1st of 6 weekly pre-surgery chemotherapy treatments. Taxotere and Cisplatin- nasty stuff!! He is a trooper and made it through with concentrated HOPE for success. CT scan was done 6/23/09 with results showing negative for improvement. We revisited thorasic surgeon to discuss next steps - he performed another surgery 7/6/09 - mediastinoscopy and advised removing the diseased lung "would not extend his prognosis". Cancer now deemed in-operable. More chemotherapy and 11 more chest radiations (max 40 total) allowed would be only options for treatment. We met again with oncologist and 4 new chemotherapy drugs would be introduced Gemzar,Navelbine,Avastin and Erbitux. Fast forward to now 10/2/09 going for another chemo treatment today and will continue for undetermined amount of time.
Enough on his illness.... that is just the one thing that everything in our life evolves around-- some of you who have been through this know how that is.

Here is what is causing my mind to spin:
-all the above- sucks
-the economy- terrible
-Corporate lean office initiatives in full swing, my employer of 20 years -downsizing so axes are falling all around me
-Mounting medical copayment bills and RX costs- denting my already weak financial situation and damaging my excellent credit rating
-Oldest daughter starting kindergarten - not adjusting well to new school
-My employer terminating our excellent insurance and choosing to offer a consumer driven heath plan with a $3000.00 deductible to meet out of pocket before they pay 100% for medical on top of $689.00 premium
My heart is jumping inside my chest- stress?? from what??

oh and the best....
-I lost my precious anniversary band sometime this week - it was pricelss to me and worth more than it's $150.00 sale price tag

I try to remember that there is someone out there worse off than me/us, but honestly how much can one person take before they crack? I have been in contact with my primary dr, and have a good support system but what gives you know?
I wish to go back in time to April 23, before we heard that awful word CANCER.

Life was different then.

Thanks for listenting.....and praying

Carolyn

 

[autumnpalm]

I am so sorry you and your family are having such a hard time. I cannot even imagine the stress you are under right now. Your post has really reminded me how important it is so focus on my blessings. I will pray for your husband's health, your finances, job security, your daughter's schooling and I am sorry about your anniversary band. I know how important little things like that can be.

Sending lots of hugs, prayers and good thoughts.

 

[MineMail]

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

I hope the treatments work better than expected and your husband comes through with flying colors.

Get a big notebook with folder pockets. Write down all the information the medical staff tells you because it's hard to remember later on and many medical terms sound similar. Make a back page a contact sheet and write down all the names and phone numbers you need.

Be willing to accept help from your friends and family. Don't be afraid to ask someone to help with the kids, run an errand, cut the lawn, make a few meals, whatever. Every little thing someone else does is one less thing you have worry about. You need to focus on your husband and family. Letting others help makes them feel less helpless too, so don't be too proud to accept the offers.

I wish I had some advice for you about the insurance, but I don't, sorry.
You should be careful about the changeover dates since your husband's treatments will cross the two medical plans. The billing departments might charge the wrong plan and have the claim rejected. That's a nightmare to try and straighten out unless the billing department has a clue.

 

[despina]

I sit here and pray for you and your family. You will get though this, with love and support of friends and family ....and prayer!!!

 

[Luv2trav]

Goodness. I couldn't imagine going through what you are going through. You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

Just sending you and your family hugs.

 

[laurie31]

I will pray for your family. I can't imagine!!

Please find out if there is someplace that your DDs can get counseling. Not like a psycologist, but someplace that specializes in grief work for children. Even if things don't go badly for your DH, your DD5 is old enough to feel the tension in the home. (NOT blaming you for there being tension; as you said how you you go through all that and NOT have stress!) I just mean that everything going on could be affecting her adjustment to school. That's a lot to take in for a 5 year old. You may think you're sheltering her from some/most of it, but she knows her daddy is sick and that mommy is upset about it. I will pray that your DH beats the odds. It's terrible to have to worry about money and job security on top of being worried about your DH's health. I will also pray you find your anniversary band. I know how things like that are so significant.

 

[disneybound2010]

 

[Teacher03]

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You're right, it does suck, everything about it. Please keep us updated. You also might want to post on the compassion board; there are many there who are going through similar situations.

 

[johnsontrio]

to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this news. We have also had a catastrophic cancer diagnosis in a young parent in our extended family this year. I am stunned at the help that has come out of the woodwork for this couple and their child. It's a generosity that I didn't realize existed. Please if you haven't done so, rally the troops. Get all your family, church family, friends, co-workers on board. Let everyone know exactly what they can do to help.

Please also investigate a support group for your DD. A well-structured play therapy group of children her age will allow her to express, as she is able, all her fears and concerns that she may be holding in.

Sorry that you are faced with all this. I will be praying for you and your family.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[Disney Ella]

That is quite a lot to handle. Cancer is bad enough, but worrying about money and insurance just makes it so much worse.

 

[jaminmd]

 

[wdwfan16]

I am so sorry to hear all of this bad news. I hope that things improve for you and your family very soon.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[Keli]

I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I will pray for your husband's health as well as your financial situation. God Bless.

 

[TB'sWidow]

So sorry you have to go through this. I have been where you are and had to endure alot of crazy stuff with myDh and his cancer.Our children we 18,14, and 18months she was a surprise and I truly believe she was given to us so I could focus on her and not dwell on what was happening. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family

 

[Serena]

 

[Lionqueen2]

I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now and saying prayers for you and your family.

 

[MIGrandma]

My heart goes out to you. I can't even begin to imagine how you are dealing with all that is on your plate.

Yes, cancer is a terrible word. I have a friend who just found out she has stage 3 breast cancer and started a 4-month round of chemo this week before they will do a masectomy and then radiation after. I pray that she makes it. And a family member has cancer in his arm and has had 4 surgeries and it keeps coming back. He can no longer work, and he has a young wife and a 2-year-old daughter and 5-month old son.

I have health problems, but they are a blip on the radar compared to someone who has cancer, or whose spouse or child has cancer.

Prayers sent up for you and your family.