Canadian Buffoon's Disney With a Teen Vacation - 08/13 - The Wrap

[Curiouser&curiouser!]

Glad he got better, but... did the rest of you come down with it?

.

We were thankfully spared by some miracle! I thought for sure after taken care of a one year old with the flu, I was doomed!

 

[Saturn23]

Imagine having to spend close to half of every year bundled up in layers
of clothing in order to fend off... well... death.

I remember those winters. In school they made us go out for recess even when it was -30... Now they let you stay in if its below freezing, but back then we had to go out whether we liked it or not. The only way to avoid it was to hide in the bathrooms. You couldn't just hang out in there though, the teacher on recess duty would check periodically. She didn't want anyone staying warm while she had to be outside. Also you couldn't just stand inside a stall, your feet would be visible from the outside. You had to have really good balance and stand with one foot on each side of the toilet while leaving the door half open so that it looked like there was nobody in the stall. Hopefully the seat wasn't slippery or you would end up with one foot in the toilet. Good times.

Oh, the joy of breathing shallow,
since you know if you take a deep breath that it's going to hurt.

IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!

HAAAA!!!! I'm often angry that my grandparents chose Ontario rather than California, which was also an option at the time.

"And I'd really like the kids to come."
And I said... well, I can't write what I said.

You can write it, but we'll just see a bunch of stars. Try it and let us guess!

Sitting at a two-three hour graduation ceremony
while complete strangers paraded by on stage
was not my idea of a fun time.

I can't imagine why.

So I emailed her back again, and said.
"But if you'd like an escort for the evening, I'd be delighted."

Awwww you're such a great liar!!!!!!

There were two boys seated immediately in front of us.
They spent the evening bouncing up and down
and crawling over one another.
Thankfully their Dad was there to ignore them.

Of course, he probably forgot to bring iPads to keep them entertained. That's the first rule of going somewhere completely boring with kids.

He coughed for about an hour straight,
spreading cheer and germs for all!

That's horrible. That happened to me on a 3 hour flight once. I spent the whole trip with my face buried in my coat, turned towards the window. It was really fun.

"Due to very high volume of calls, we are unable to offer
a call back service. Your wait time is 30 to 40 minutes.
Unless your call is urgent, please call back at a later time."

It's even worse when you're put through an endless cycle of "if you are calling for this reason, press 1".... then another round.. and another.. until eventually you lose it because you just want to talk to a real person, and scream "AGENT!!!!" into the phone only to be told "I'm sorry I didn't understand your answer"... loop back to the start.

My throat feels like it's on fire.
I have about as much enthusiasm for a trip
as I do for eating Brussels sprouts.

Well, maybe not that bad... but close.

YUCK being sick on vacation is the worst!!! I'm sorry that happened! Stupid TB kid.

I send her a text: "Where R U?"
She texts that I have to go to the office
otherwise they won't let her out.

Oh for Pete's sake!!!

Well of course they're not going to let her out without you there. What if you were just some crazy weirdo trying to kidnap her who just happened to sound like her dad on the phone???

I decide that sitting on the side of the road
while a nice policeman gives me a ticket
would probably take more time.

Meh, you could have totally cried your way out of that. My sister did it once. She was pulled over for speeding and started to cry. She was let off with a warning. I was really proud of her.

We explain to a WestJet agent that we're checked in,
but need to check our bags.
She lets us cut the line.
Sweet!
No idea what the other people in line thought of this.

I KNEW IT!!!! I knew you loved cutting in line.

If I slam my suitcase against the shin of someone
whom I'm cutting in front of, I know we'll both apologize.
(assuming they're Canadian, too.)

Oh no, I'm Canadian and anyone who slams a suitcase into my shin will be getting quite the opposite of an apology.

After typing 3,843 keys on her keyboard,
we are issued boarding passes

That's impressive that you were able to count them all.

And the prize will befit the size of the trip.
i.e. It'll be small.
But it's culturally a very important part of Hawaii.

The winner is getting a lay!!! I mean lei. Stupid autocorrect.

 

[Saturn23]

This is eerily accurate.

Aren't you supposed to tell me that I must be psychotic?

 

[Saturn23]

Take these...followed by these...and then these.

Thanks, doctor.

Oh, I'm not a doctor.

I LOVE that episode!!!!

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

Glad you came out of lurkdom.
It's more fun when you participate.

It seems like it. Of course, I'm currently in dead last on awdwfan's TR, so I'm not sure how much "fun" I have with these contests

You were? Darn! We could've met up.

Which would've been fun since we didn't know each other yet.


Hey... Maybe we did!
oooohhhhh....

Haha, I did look for myself in your pictures. But I don't think we ever had overlapping park plans

Nice.
But didn't they make you finish the drink before you left Epcot?
At least they did that to me with my slush.

Oh....we were supposed to have some left by the exit?
I did a spreadsheet when we got home to see if we would have saved money by using the DDP, and I told my mom "after my calculations, I have established that we drank a ton of alcohol"

 

[SnowWhiteOz]

One benefit of being home with the stomach flu - I can finally catch up on your Maui shenanigans (or at least the Canadian portion of the trip?)

Unfortunately, from the time I booked the trip,
until shortly before the trip, the Canadian dollar
took a beating compared to the US dollar.
As the price of oil plummeted, so did our dollar.
The next thing I knew, this trip had suddenly become
a lot more expensive.

I feel ya Commonwealth buddy - the Australian dollar is being just as cooperative as the Canadian one when it comes to trip planning (and paying)

First off, I have a bit more backstory to bring you up to speed with.
Secondly... it's all boring.
That's just my style.

And then there was the lad seated directly behind us.
My cousin later fondly referred to him as the tuberculosis kid.
He coughed for about an hour straight,
spreading cheer and germs for all!
Which brings me to... Saturday February 13th.

I was at work and on a break when I phoned my Mom just to say hi.
I was chatting with her <cough> about nothing <cough>
in particular <cough>
"Are you sick?" She asked?
"Don't think so." I replied. "Just a tickle in my throat."

Of course by Sunday I was in full blown sick mode.
Thanks TB Kid! You're awesome!

Two minutes later, I'm talking with a nice WestJet agent.
I think my VIP bus package extends to phone calls.

The trip (sans antibiotics) was on.
I was not totally reassured, however,
when he gave me a prescription
"Just in case."

We explain to a WestJet agent that we're checked in,
but need to check our bags.
She lets us cut the line.
Sweet!
No idea what the other people in line thought of this.

Seething on the inside, polite on the outside.

Bonus questions

1. Is our flight on time or delayed?
2. What annoying thing happens on our flight?
(Hint: Not turbulence.)
3. What good thing happens at our hotel?
4. Animals! Animals on a plane! What kind?
(Hint: Not snakes... or dogs... or cats.)


Oh. And 20 bonus points for anyone who guesses
what our one and only excursion is.

1. Flight is on time - assuming the VIP package extends to Ruby and Elle not just you and Kay.
2. I had two thoughts - the first was something basic like the inflight entertainment was down, but then I decided to go with the person seated next to you (or across the aisle) is violently sick the entire flight.

3. Um you get upgraded to a two room suite so that the girls can have one room and you and Ruby the other?
4. Did you get the turkey?

And for the excursion - you go snorkelling with turtles

 

[Heluvsme]

Wow, bummer you were so sick! I know that feeling all too well, years ago I too woke up, but on the very morning we were flying out of snowy Indiana on a cold January morning to go to sunny Orlando for a week long vacation in Disney World. I hope you had a better ending than I did though, I was sick the entire time, passed it along to my then-18 month old daughter, we were both miserable.

I have ideas on your contest questions, but I will not participate ..... Your TR's are all the prize I need. The best reading on the Internet! . See what I did there? Flattery points? Lol! Just kidding!

 

[irene_dsc]

This is what happens when you don't get around to posting quick enough. All the comments have already been commented - so just assume that I would've said all the clever lines that have already been used!

No tuque.

Glad you posted the photo later. I had no idea what that was. We just call that a hat. No special name.

So, skipping straight to the bonus questions...

1. Is our flight on time or delayed?
2. What annoying thing happens on our flight?
(Hint: Not turbulence.)
3. What good thing happens at our hotel?
4. Animals! Animals on a plane! What kind?
(Hint: Not snakes... or dogs... or cats.)


Oh. And 20 bonus points for anyone who guesses
what our one and only excursion is.

1. Delayed - because you hurried, of course.
2. You got to watch 3/4 of a movie - and then you arrived
3. Upgrade!
4. Guinea pig?

It seems like the excursion should be extra exotic to rate 20 points, but I really don't know all the options, so....

Volcano tour (sounds the most interesting of the ones other people have mentioned!)

 

[pkondz]

We actually are suppose to get yet another jerk in to cold weather though.

Wait. I'm not the jerk in to cold weather, am I?

The high will only be 52 on Wednesday.

Only...

At Least you have consistency. We end up with a russian roulette anytime we want to get dressed for the day.

Nope. Not even that. Not long ago we had 2C/36F.

So THAT's what those things are........

So its a brand of winter hat?

A brand? No. Any knit hat that hugs the head. Usually (traditionally) with a pom pom on the top.

 

[pkondz]

We were thankfully spared by some miracle! I thought for sure after taken care of a one year old with the flu, I was doomed!

Crisis averted!

 

[pkondz]

I remember those winters. In school they made us go out for recess even when it was -30...

And every year... without fail...

Now they let you stay in if its below freezing, but back then we had to go out whether we liked it or not.

Not here. They still kick the kids out.
It has to be closer to -35 before they consider letting
the little bas... uh, angels stay in.

The only way to avoid it was to hide in the bathrooms.

Smokin' in the boys room!

Don't even try to tell me you weren't in the boys room.

You couldn't just hang out in there though, the teacher on recess duty would check periodically. She didn't want anyone staying warm while she had to be outside.

Sure. If she has to suffer... Everyone has to suffer.
That's how I feel too.
That's why I write these TRs.

Also you couldn't just stand inside a stall, your feet would be visible from the outside. You had to have really good balance and stand with one foot on each side of the toilet while leaving the door half open so that it looked like there was nobody in the stall. Hopefully the seat wasn't slippery or you would end up with one foot in the toilet. Good times.

You (almost) had it down to a science.

IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!

HAAAA!!!! I'm often angry that my grandparents chose Ontario rather than California, which was also an option at the time.

They had a choice???
And they still chose the cold?

You can write it, but we'll just see a bunch of stars. Try it and let us guess!

Oh, I can write it sans stars.
But then child and family services would come
and take them away.
I ain't got time for that ****.

Huh. Guess I can't write it without stars after all.

I can't imagine why.

I thought I was going to get some cake out of the deal.

Sadly... No cake.

Awwww you're such a great liar!!!!!!

Thanks!

Of course, he probably forgot to bring iPads to keep them entertained. That's the first rule of going somewhere completely boring with kids.

And ear buds.
And rope.

To tie them with.

That's horrible. That happened to me on a 3 hour flight once. I spent the whole trip with my face buried in my coat, turned towards the window. It was really fun.

Oy. Did you get sick??

It's even worse when you're put through an endless cycle of "if you are calling for this reason, press 1".... then another round.. and another.. until eventually you lose it because you just want to talk to a real person, and scream "AGENT!!!!" into the phone only to be told "I'm sorry I didn't understand your answer"... loop back to the start.

Grrr... Hate that.
I usually just try zero.
But the machines are getting too stupid for that now.

YUCK being sick on vacation is the worst!!! I'm sorry that happened! Stupid TB kid.

I was not thrilled.

Well of course they're not going to let her out without you there. What if you were just some crazy weirdo trying to kidnap her who just happened to sound like her dad on the phone???

I'm okay with that.
One less mouth to feed.

I don't see a downside here.

Meh, you could have totally cried your way out of that. My sister did it once. She was pulled over for speeding and started to cry. She was let off with a warning. I was really proud of her.

That only works for hawt chicks.
I would just get a look of scorn.
Or possibly shot or tased.

I KNEW IT!!!! I knew you loved cutting in line.

Well... sure.
But only when I know I can get away with it.
Why do you think I love single rider and FP lines so much?

And it's only partially because the wait is shorter.

Oh no, I'm Canadian and anyone who slams a suitcase into my shin will be getting quite the opposite of an apology.

You've lived down south too long.

That's impressive that you were able to count them all.

I'm very attentive.
Especially when money is involved.

The winner is getting a lay!!! I mean lei. Stupid autocorrect.

You win!!!! I mean, You wiener!!! Stupid autocorrect.

Aren't you supposed to tell me that I must be psychotic?

Again?!?!?

 

[pkondz]

It seems like it. Of course, I'm currently in dead last on awdwfan's TR, so I'm not sure how much "fun" I have with these contests

You may find you have better luck over here.
Andy's mean, whereas I'm warm and inviting.
Ask any of the harem.
Heck, join the harem.

Haha, I did look for myself in your pictures. But I don't think we ever had overlapping park plans

Now that would've been a fun story.

Epcot, day 3.
Close Encounters of the drunk kind.

We had just exited Karamel Kuche when this woman
holding a wine glass bumped into me.
As is my Canadian way, I immediately apologized.
She gazed at me as she slowly swayed back and forth.
"Whachoo... wha... wha-at you doing in... myway?" She slurred.
Oh, great. Another drunk around the world guest.

"Sorry." I mumbled. And quickly stepped to the side to pass her.
But she wasn't interested in letting it go.
"You know. I could thhhh.... thhhh.... throw this in your face."
She motioned to her severely depleted glass.
"But I'm not go... not go... won't." She said. "Wanna know why?"
I really didn't, but felt I had no choice but to humour her.
"No, ma'am, why?" I cautiously replied.
"Because I paid good money for this drink since I'm not on DD... P."
And with that, she swayed off in the direction of the
International Gateway.

I just shook my head.
I might've said something to someone,
but dang she was pretty.
So I just let it go... which made me want a frozen Grey Goose slush.

Oh....we were supposed to have some left by the exit?

I did a spreadsheet when we got home to see if we would have saved money by using the DDP, and I told my mom "after my calculations, I have established that we drank a ton of alcohol"

I knew it!!!

 

[Gracefulskinny]

Wait. I'm not the jerk in to cold weather, am I?

Nope you see down here in the south Mother Nature gets rather fickle when changing from summer to Fall and Winter to Spring. It could be a beautiful 70 degrees and clear skies OR it could be 50 or below and you'll never know until the morning of. Sometimes not even then.

 

[Terra Nova guy]

Who's the best TR writer? Who is it? Who?

Well, of course we all know the answer to that! I feel silly even typing it. But, ahem, why are you sucking up to @afwdwfan in your own trip report?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I LOVE that episode!!!!

It's a classic, for sure!

 

[afwdwfan]

Well, of course we all know the answer to that! I feel silly even typing it. But, ahem, why are you sucking up to @afwdwfan in your own trip report?

I'm calling BS on this one!

But thanks.

 

[pkondz]

Nope you see down here in the south Mother Nature gets rather fickle when changing from summer to Fall and Winter to Spring. It could be a beautiful 70 degrees and clear skies OR it could be 50 or below and you'll never know until the morning of. Sometimes not even then.

50! How can you stand it! That's way too hot for February!
You don't even need a jacket or sweater!

Well, of course we all know the answer to that! I feel silly even typing it. But, ahem, why are you sucking up to @afwdwfan in your own trip report?

I'm calling BS on this one!

But thanks.

Yep. Me too. Everyone knows it's @Captain_Oblivious.

(Although it is nice to know I can stop adding up the points
for one person.)

 

[Gracefulskinny]

50! How can you stand it! That's way too hot for February!
You don't even need a jacket or sweater!

But the thing is when the weather jerks you around between cold and just perfectly nice and warm your whole body rebels from not being able to adjust. Also there is a trade off. Come July and August we will be dealing with Heat Index in the 110 range. Not quite as bad at the humidity as FLorida but still intense.

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

You may find you have better luck over here.
Andy's mean, whereas I'm warm and inviting.
Ask any of the harem.
Heck, join the harem.

I knew I bought the belly dancing scarf for a reason!!

Epcot, day 3.
Close Encounters of the drunk kind.

We had just exited Karamel Kuche when this woman
holding a wine glass bumped into me.
As is my Canadian way, I immediately apologized.
She gazed at me as she slowly swayed back and forth.
"Whachoo... wha... wha-at you doing in... myway?" She slurred.
Oh, great. Another drunk around the world guest.

"Sorry." I mumbled. And quickly stepped to the side to pass her.
But she wasn't interested in letting it go.
"You know. I could thhhh.... thhhh.... throw this in your face."
She motioned to her severely depleted glass.
"But I'm not go... not go... won't." She said. "Wanna know why?"
I really didn't, but felt I had no choice but to humour her.
"No, ma'am, why?" I cautiously replied.
"Because I paid good money for this drink since I'm not on DD... P."
And with that, she swayed off in the direction of the
International Gateway.

I just shook my head.
I might've said something to someone,
but dang she was pretty.
So I just let it go... which made me want a frozen Grey Goose slush.

Ok, this made me choke on my coffee Except I despise confrontation, so I probably would have apologized back.

Going back through my photos, it seems I DO have one of you. You're the one in the middle, right?

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

So you wanna hear about Maui.

Actually I want to go to Maui (and possibly not come back).
But since that ain’t happening, I suppose I have to settle for hearing about it.

(technically, I suppose the highlight and the lowlight were the same event)

Kind’a like firing that brand new Christmas BB gun for the first time…
And having the shot ricochet off the steel sign you taped the target to right back to your face.

Oh. And pictures. You want pretty pictures to look at.

Well of course…
Else we’d have to actually read your drivel.
(which still beats having to read any of my drivel)

(This allows you to not read all the crap I write. Smart.)

Admitting that I’m smart?
Oh that’s one almighty mistake.
Now you have no credibility of any type what so ever.

Well, guess what????

Donald Trump has decided to appoint himself Prime Minister of Canada?

I'm not doing any of that, this chapter!

You never do what you’re ordered to (unless it’s Ruby giving the order)…
so that not much of a shock.

Just trust me on that, okay?

But you just said I was smart a moment ago.
How can any of us ever trust you again?!!

might as well go whole hog and give you all the deets.

But I HATE beets!
Oh, wait… you said “deets”. I like those.
Carry on.

This little trip formed in my admittedly tiny brain…

Tiny? And yet you keep asking us to trust you.

Imagine having to spend close to half of every year bundled up in layers
of clothing in order to fend off... well... death.

DW would never allow me to move that far north.
I’ll just have to live vicariously through your experiences on that one.

I suspect that the author had to go back and clean up the language after penning the original dialog for that one.

I knew... knew that I wanted to do that again.
You know... be warm... in winter.

Give it a few years.
Slow but sure, it’s creeping up that way.

And I wanted Ruby to experience that too.

Cause you know what’s important in life.

The kids? Meh. They're young.

Like I just said…

So I floated the idea to Ruby...
And got shot down faster than a reluctant bride at the altar.
(She still regrets not doing that 25 years ago.)

Was she wearing running shoes that day?

But I had about a year to work on her,
and I am nothing if not extremely annoying.

Huh… we hadn’t noticed.

(And why are you not? Are you not hanging on my every word????)

Never ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.

"I'd really like to go back to Hawaii."
And I said "Yay!"

I suspect that’s a bit of an understatement.

Then she said.
"And I'd really like the kids to come."
And I said... well, I can't write what I said.

But this I’ll question not in the least.

So of course, we decided to take the kids.
(and when I say "we", I mean "she".
I am nothing if not cowed.)

Which is also why you’re still married.
(same can be said for myself, but we’re focusing on abusing you at the moment)

Unfortunately, from the time I booked the trip,
until shortly before the trip, the Canadian dollar
took a beating compared to the US dollar.

That is unfortunate.
(Especially since the fact has profited me not one penny)

A few months ago, a favourite cousin of mine was in town.
The occasion was a sad one, her aunt's mom had passed away.

Condolences

Sadly, just weeks before her return,
her father passed away unexpectedly.

Now cut that out!
More condolences.

And more proof that life’s second most unavoidable truth is always in play:
Life’s not fair (not now, not tomorrow, not ever)

Sitting at a two-three hour graduation ceremony
while complete strangers paraded by on stage
was not my idea of a fun time.

You mean to tell me that you’re not just aching to listen to Pomp and Circumstance nonstop for three hours? Go figure. (now imagine how awful it to be one of the musicians that has to play the piece for all those hours and without the option of not showing up).

So I emailed her back again, and said.
"But if you'd like an escort for the evening, I'd be delighted."

Got backed into that one…

Oh, and you’re a good man, there sir (of course I’ll deny I said that if questioned).

Upshot was, I took my cousin to her niece's grad.
It was.... interesting.

I think we may need to get everyone on the same page here as to the exact definition of the word: “interesting”.

There were two boys seated immediately in front of us.
They spent the evening bouncing up and down
and crawling over one another.
Thankfully their Dad was there to ignore them.

Wouldn’t want to be hindering the full development of their self-esteem, don’t ya’ know.

And then there was the lad seated directly behind us.
My cousin later fondly referred to him as the tuberculosis kid.

Now I don’t care who you are; that’s funny, right there.

Of course by Sunday I was in full blown sick mode.

That… however… is a decidedly unfunny.
And a dastardly application of Rule-2

Plus not having to get up at 4am was nice.

Not getting up at 4am is always a bonus.

And they reiterated that we'd have our bags in between flights.
Okay. Good.

May this not be an instance of foreshadowing.
You’re already pushing it on the bad omen scale, here.

we were going to be traveling with only two checked bags.
That's $100 I save right there, round trip.

Cool! Than you can loan me the $100, then.
I’ll be sure you get paid back out of whatever proceeds are actually left in my estate after all my other creditors have picked over the corpse.

Poop.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before our national brand of discourse started invading y’all’s sensibilities and forced a cultural turn toward the scatological.

Two minutes later, I'm talking with a nice WestJet agent.
I think my VIP bus package extends to phone calls.

Natural states always seek equilibrium…
You’ll be paying for that good fortune and some point in the near.

I have about as much enthusiasm for a trip
as I do for eating Brussels sprouts.

If that were true, you wouldn’t have gone.
You may need a different metaphor here.

Well, maybe not that bad... but close.

OK, that proviso will suffice.

Plus my voice has dropped approximately three octaves.

That may be seen as a good thing…

"Well, hello there sweetheart."
I'd say in my super low, studly voice.
"Well, hi yourself big boy." She'd reply.
"Would you like to... <cough><cough><cough><hack!>"
"No." As she turns on her heels and sprints away.

…right up until you get to that point, at least.
Ya’ done spoilt the drama.

The trip (sans antibiotics) was on.
I was not totally reassured, however,
when he gave me a prescription
"Just in case."

Hedging his bets, I see.
Not a good sign.

If we hurried, we could get Elle's car just before we'd have to leave.
So that's what we did.

Stringing together an intriguing mix of wins and losses here.

I send her a text: "Where R U?"
She texts that I have to go to the office
otherwise they won't let her out.

Blasted procedures and protocols…
Don’t they know that rules like that should only be applied to other people’s kids!

I decide that sitting on the side of the road
while a nice policeman gives me a ticket
would probably take more time.

I concur…
And have the past experience to validate the theory as well.

Plus, driving in a circle wouldn't accomplish much.

Not a fan of left turns?
Granted, road tracks are far more challenging.
But this is more like a road rally (given that there are actual speed and time limits and all).

I of course miss the turn off and have to circle a second time.

I can't make this stuff up.

Well, you can, but it’s good for the narrative that you don’t need to.

I find a vacant spot about as far from civilization
as you can possibly be.
Polar bears and hobos roamed the area.

So polar bears ride the rails into Winnipeg as well?
I figured they were just naturally occurring in that area.

After a quick walk, meaning I walked fast,

While breathing shallow…
Making you even more tired.

(polar bears I'm used to, but hobos? Not so much.)

They’re similar in one respect…
Just don’t feed ‘em and they won’t seek you out.
At least it was hobos and not bums. Then you’d have been in trouble.

She lets us cut the line.
Sweet!
No idea what the other people in line thought of this.

Seething on the inside, polite on the outside.

Sounds like you do have a good idea of what other people thought of it, then.

I explain our issue to the ticket agent.
After typing 3,843 keys on her keyboard,
we are issued boarding passes

beat the 4000 keystroke limit, I see; lucky you.

I breathe a sigh of relief.
Which, of course, brings on another coughing fit.

That’ll learn you.

And I think I'll leave the pkondz family there for now,

So what did they think of that?
I suspect they pummeled you good when you got back.

Announcing a second contest when you haven't
even really finished the first is pretty lame.

Bur we already know that about you.
I can live with it.

And the prize will befit the size of the trip.
i.e. It'll be small.
But it's culturally a very important part of Hawaii.

Spam?

Oh, and if you're good little boys and girls…

Well that kind’a puts the kybosh on the whole thing right there, not don’t it?

There will be no, zero, zilch, nada points for flattery.

Flattery? What’s that?

1. Is our flight on time or delayed?

Delayed
Since you had to rush to get there, fate might as well punish you farther for the effort exhibited.

2. What annoying thing happens on our flight?
(Hint: Not turbulence.)

You are seated beside someone who spends the entire flight clipping their toe nails.
No?
Your coughing so frightens the other passengers that they are forced to reclassify you as baggage?
Still not it, huh…

Really not sure what to say for this one as so many things are annoying about commercial flight.
I’ll go with one of the other passengers keep invading you allotted space in some fashion.

3. What good thing happens at our hotel?

Are we talking about the the hotel in Vancouver on Maui?
Well go with some kind of unexpected discount or room upgrade.

4. Animals! Animals on a plane! What kind?
(Hint: Not snakes... or dogs... or cats.)

Well if it’s none of those then logic dictates that it must be a platypus.
That or an iguana of some type.

Oh. And 20 bonus points for anyone who guesses
what our one and only excursion is.

Gonn’a go with a zip Line for this one.
I’d sure like to be able to do that on Maui.

Heck, l’d like to be able to do anything on Maui (including live like a hobo)