Every time we go to Hawaii (3 times now! How'd that happen?)
we always don't want to leave.
Well I know that the state security forces didn’t lower their weapons until the pressure door was sealed and locked on the plane, but did they let you out of the handcuffs before you were seated or only after the plan was aloft and over open ocean?
This is one of those rare occasions when we agree.
Good…
Now bring on the next round of insufferable drivel.
No offense, but.... he would never gain any traction up here.
And I'm quite shocked that he has any down there.
Traction? Who said anything about y’all allowing it.
I said he’d appoint himself unconditional leader.
Also, I’m not offend… more ashamed.
The more depressing part of it though is, while I also wish to be shocked, knowing my neighbors, acquaintances and fellow citizens as I do, I I’m sadly not even surprised.
I can eat beets, but I sure don't go out of my way to.
Taste just like dirt clods.
Bullies and their henchmen may be able to force you face first down in the mud…
But I don’t purposely seek out vegetables that recreate such experiences.
And you keep falling for it!
No…
I keep calling you out on it.
It’s the rest of the rabble that’s treating me like Cassandra.
Don't tell anyone, but there isn't a Canadian alive who isn't secretly cheering global warming on.
Yeah, but…
Have you considered the outcome of having all seven billion of your global neighbors squeezed into only two narrow bands of latitude?
Ha, ha! Don't be silly!
I hid them.
So you may not be quite as dumb as you otherwise appear, then.
Sweet! I can always use a semi-used pair of socks.
Better than the used britches.
And if you’re very lucky, one of the socks might be the one that’s not riddled with holes.
It was inevitable in the end.
When you live in the North, you need to learn basic polar bear survival skills.
1. Always carry pepper spray.
2. Always wear little bells on your belt loop so you don't accidentally sneak up on a bear.
3. Learn to know what fresh bear scat looks like.
What does fresh bear scat look like, you ask?
Easy.
It smells like pepper and has little bells in it.
That’s one I’m quite familiar with.
But it’s never a mistake to reference a classic.
If you don't, the plane blows up.
I always suspected this to be the case…
But it’s good to receive confirmation from someone that’s in the biz.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
Oh but it’s just so much fun to get out ahead of one’s self.
Especially when negotiating dizzying heights…
It's a form of insincerity that garners points in lousy contests.
Ahhhh…
But you’ve already disqualified such forms of insincerity from point consideration…
So now you’re only left with forms of sincerity.
And those look more like insults then flattery.