Can spouse have child baptised/confirmed without consent of other parent?

[westcoastwannabe]

Wondering if my soon to be ex can have my daughter baptised, confirmed or become a member of the Catholic church without my consent? I am not a member of the church, and am opposed to it.
And, no, not an atheist, so that's not my opposition. I was raised Christian, but I am more concerned with the inherent goodness of a person versus whatever they call themselves= aka just because a cat has kittens in the oven, doesnt mean they are biscuits

 

[happygirl]

Wondering if my soon to be ex can have my daughter baptised, confirmed or become a member of the Catholic church without my consent? I am not a member of the church, and am opposed to it.
And, no, not an atheist, so that's not my opposition. I was raised Christian, but I am more concerned with the inherent goodness of a person versus whatever they call themselves= aka just because a cat has kittens in the oven, doesnt mean they are biscuits

How old is she? Do you both have joint custody

 

[RadioNate]

Here's what my lawyers have said...you can put something in the agreement regarding religion and practicing mainstream religions HOWEVER the courts won't touch it. What the bottom line comes to is that he can practice whatever religion he wants with the kids on his time & you can practice whatever religion you want (or not) with the kids on your time.

I don't know what the Catholic Church's stance is on
parental consent but legally, as long as it isn't obviously harmful to the kids (satanism, animal sacrifices) he can practice any religion with the children he wants.

 

[westcoastwannabe]

She's 9. We are both in the "family" home, but I think this is all being done for show, since there was nothing done on his part before the subject of divorce came up. I was the one who took her to various churches (widespread beliefs in the immediate family) and he has not attended church since we were married 16 years ago.

 

[goofy!]

Here's what my lawyers have said...you can put something in the agreement regarding religion and practicing mainstream religions HOWEVER the courts won't touch it. What the bottom line comes to is that he can practice whatever religion he wants with the kids on his time & you can practice whatever religion you want (or not) with the kids on your time.

I don't know what the Catholic Church's stance is on
parental consent but legally, as long as it isn't obviously harmful to the kids (satanism, animal sacrifices) he can practice any religion with the children he wants.

That is basically what my brother was told too. That each parent has the right to teach their children their religion and their values on their time. He was told that while one parent may have strong beliefs, the other parent has equally strong beliefs and neither is wrong.

DB's ex is an un-medicated bi-polar whacko that practices a cult form of out there Christianity mixed with touches of Judaism with a group of about 25 that meets in somebody's basement. As much as he disapproves, she is in her right to bring them to her "church" when she has the children.

Edited to add: Db has full legal and physical custody

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She's 9. We are both in the "family" home, but I think this is all being done for show, since there was nothing done on his part before the subject of divorce came up. I was the one who took her to various churches (widespread beliefs in the immediate family) and he has not attended church since we were married 16 years ago.

Is he doing this for her? Has she requested to attend Catholic Church?

I got my dd baptized about that age and it was not an easy process. My dd had to go for classes to catch up with kids her age. Once she was baptized and then received communion then she got to go with "her age group".

Is he a member of the parish? That would be a first requirement for him. I would imagine the priest would do some digging first.

You could always go and make an appt. with the priest to see what their policy is. They will tell you. You are within your rights to find out this info since it concerns your dd, I would imagine and the parish priest is going to want to know what is going on within your family as well.

Edited to add I am basing my answer on the fact they are still living together and not divorced yet. Once you guys are divorced, I am sure he could do it without you but again he is going to have to follow church procedures and that will vary depending on the parish priest.

If your dd wants to go to Mass and get into the Catholic Church then I guess I would at least be proactive with your parish and speak with the priest to see what he has to say.

 

[scottishduffy]

I would say Yes, on his time he can do as he pleases.

My aunt baptized my cousins catholic without the knowledge of their father, who practices a completely different faith.

 

[luvmy3]

I would think that as long as he has custody, even joint, then he is free to have his child baptized.

 

[low-key]

All Religious ceremony's need to be done from the heart our they are meaningless, In my opinion

 

[Reddy]

I really think God knows what is in the child's heart & that is what really matters
I would make sure she knows that & not worry about it
if she doesn't believe then it did nothing but make you mad which is what this really sounds like he is trying to do
if she does believe then I would see if she wants to be done at your church too

 

[Hillbeans]

I am pretty sure they could, but if your ex hasn't been to mass himself since he the 1990's, it's not as if you can walk right into the church and get baptized. There are lots of steps involved. As the PP said, he'd have to be a registered member of the church, attend church regularly (they usually check the envelopes weekly).

First Holy Communion is almost a year-long procedure that would involve CCD classes of some sort.

 

[RadioNate]

I believe at 9 she'd have to go through the formal RCIA process. Even getting my kids baptized as infants wasn't an easy process.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I believe at 9 she'd have to go through the formal RCIA process. Even getting my kids baptized as infants wasn't an easy process.

My dd's parish had a program to integrate the kids. It was not RCIA, but it had another name.

My youngest was 3 or 4 and she did not have to do anything, since she was to attend classes the following yr.

 

[tigercat]

My dh had my one son christened (if that is the right word) without my permission. He was a newborn and at a different hospital than I was. I was on my way but he had the minister that was at that hospital do it. I was told when I got there. I was really upset. My in laws got a minister to do the burial all against my will. I would not even meet with the minister and ended up getting a tongue lashing for being rude. He was the only one of our 4 children to get christened. My dh didn't make that mistake again. Oh my dh is not at all religious. He thought it would make his dm happy. He is still my dh but we did have a lot to talk about.
tigercat

 

[Swan4Me]

psssttt.....religious threads are a no-no

 

[Sandy321]

there was a case in the news in Chicago about this - Dad catholic, mom Jewish - they had an agreement, he changed it, she sued -

in the end - its like the previous poster said - what is done on Dad's time, is dAd's what's done on mom's time is moms...

 

[westcoastwannabe]

psssttt.....religious threads are a no-no

Sorry, was going for more of a "can he do this?" than trying to incite a church riot I tend to find good answers here on the boards and thought there would be someone here who would know. Thanks

 

[Sadie22]

A child cannot be confirmed without the child's consent, if that matters. I hope each parent can agree to educate the child in each parent's beliefs and let the child decide what to do when old enough.

 

[FredinFL]

A child in the custody of the parent can go to the religious organization of that parent. Any church would baptise, commune, confirm or anything else if the custodial parent also went to the church. If you think you can stonewall her from having the child share in her religion, you are going to be disappointed.

 

[bicker]

psssttt.....religious threads are a no-no

Precisely. This thread can discuss the legal aspect only. Is it legal or not? Or, as someone pointed out earlier in the thread, is the law going to do anything to stop him from doing what he may want to do? The answer is 'no'. Reconcile yourself to the fact that if he ever has unsupervised custody (and religion is not a legal basis for preventing that, even if you wanted to) he could do what you are concerned about.