Can she do this?

[hereyago]

That, in addition to not wanting to separate the children is the problem.

Even though it is admirable that your DB doesn't want the kids to be seperated, he has to think about his DD's welfare. Maybe as other suggested contact the first kid's DF and discuss the situation and he can take his DD as well. I can't think of having my DD in that situation, not do anything about it then later in life her coming to me and say Why didn't you do anything to get me.

 

[tlbwriter]

His concerns were keeping the kids together

While this is nice of him, it's not a priority. His priority should be getting his daughter out of a bad situation.

 

[ReneeA]

While this is nice of him, it's not a priority. His priority should be getting his daughter out of a bad situation.

What about the fact that he often works out of town?

That's also one of the concerns...that he won't win full custody because he won't be the one always caring for her...my mother will be.

 

[hereyago]

What about the fact that he often works out of town?

That's also one of the concerns...that he won't win full custody because he won't be the one always caring for her...my mother will be.

But the child will have more stability with people who will have themselves together, feed her, nurture her and take her to school.

 

[Anjelica]

What about the fact that he often works out of town?

That's also one of the concerns...that he won't win full custody because he won't be the one always caring for her...my mother will be.

If he can show neglect on the mothers part AND show that he has stability/support even if with other members of the family (i.e. his mother) then he has a very good chance of gaining custody.

Sorry but regardless of keeping the kids together he really needs to get her out of that situation.

 

[doxdogy]

The Air Force is one of the hardest branches of the military to gain acceptance too. If he just barely graduated high school, I don't hold much hope of him scoring high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force. Also, the bonus is not paid out until he finishes basic training and graduates from his advanced training. I honestly do not know what jobs are paying any bonuses right now.

 

[happygirl]

I know you are concerened about your niece but I wouldn't pry her for information about her mom, you are putting in a place where she almost has to tattle on her own mom.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I know you are concerened about your niece but I wouldn't pry her for information about her mom, you are putting in a place where she almost has to tattle on her own mom.

Doesn't sound like OP is doing that. You know how kids say things.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I would call social services from what the 5 year old says, They could possibly award your brother temporary custody. From there it's a lot easier for him to get full custody.

Social services will evaluate if she is taking properly care of that little girl.

I have a friend that got divorced and married a Marine, he got transferred and she wanted to take her daughter out of state. The Dad had every other weekend custody, Because of that she was not able to move. The husband had to get a hardship release from the Marines.

Lisa

 

[aprilgail2]

A friend of mine shares custody of her daughter with her ex-husband (50/50). A year ago she married another man who lived in a different town (about 100 miles away). Her ex was upset and threatened to take her to court to get full custody. Her lawyer gave her reasons that he might just be able to win (removing the child from the town and preschool she's always known, he is financially stable, etc) even though she is an excellent mother (is a teacher), and her new husband is an upstanding guy who is financially secure.

So, I'd say your brother would have an excellent chance, with all the rest that he has on her.

My friend did not share custody with his wife, he had every other weekend visitation- the wife got remarried and they decided to move from NY to PA..he let them move and as soon as they did he took her to court and won custody because she took them out of state without asking the courts permission.

 

[tlbwriter]

What about the fact that he often works out of town?

That's also one of the concerns...that he won't win full custody because he won't be the one always caring for her...my mother will be.

Define "often." More than half the time?

 

[ReneeA]

Define "often." More than half the time?

It depends on the year. Sometimes he can get work within an hour drive, sometimes not. I would say that on the typical year, he works 35-40% of time out of town. Out of state even, at times. Like I said, he's keeping an eye out for a new job, but there's not much on the horizon.

 

[ReneeA]

I know you are concerened about your niece but I wouldn't pry her for information about her mom, you are putting in a place where she almost has to tattle on her own mom.

We don't have to. Mom's an avid Facebook poster - all her business is out there for the world to see.

I see you have 2 little kids. My niece is a "talker". She tells everything she knows to everyone who will listen. Ask her about her day and she will tell you in detail what she did, what she watched, who she talked to, and what she ate. And then repeat the stories ad nauseum.

 

[Singleminnie]

In fact I am wanting to move to FL with my DD's. My divorce decree only says I have to give my ex, his atty and the court 45 days notice before I move (which could be an issue with a new employer, I am still thinking how to handle that). There is no restriction on a number of miles, or getting permission from the courts, just says if I am going to be living somewhere for more than 30 days. I expect to have a fight on my hands and am documenting all my ex's missed opportunities he had with our girls, the weeks he has failed to call them or check on them, the fact he never attends parent teacher conf, etc! Also the fact he has intentionally refused to find a good paying job (even though he has 2 college degrees, even the judge said he was intentionally working below his ability). I am hoping the fact I can get a better job, I already have a three bedroom house to live in (my brothers), now we have to live in a 2 bedroom apt, which is so difficult! I know its hard to take kids out of state, but I am hoping I will be able to. My atty says the odds look good, since my ex has pissed off the judge by appealing his court order (our trial) to the court of appeals! I personally feel for anyone going through this!

 

[cm8]

We don't have to. Mom's an avid Facebook poster - all her business is out there for the world to see.

I see you have 2 little kids. My niece is a "talker". She tells everything she knows to everyone who will listen. Ask her about her day and she will tell you in detail what she did, what she watched, who she talked to, and what she ate. And then repeat the stories ad nauseum.

I hope you have been keeping a copy of everything that she has written on there. I would have so much information printed from her FB page that it would make me look like a PI. Now that the family knows the "conditions" your niece lives in, you have to act on it. If the argument is that she is being mistreated and the like, the judge and others involved would wonder why you all waiting so long. That could then possible be used against all of you and I am sure you would not want your DN to be placed in foster care.


DB should not worry about the fact that he is gone 35 to 40 % of the time as he has your mom backing him up. That alone is a good thing. It shows the judge that your DB has the help he needs to raise his daughter and that she will be well taken care of when he goes out of town. I hope this situation with your DN gets resolved ASAP.

Not sure I have to say this, but since you know she (DN) is a talker and such, I'm sure that she has shared some of the same issues with someone else as well.

 

[SereneOne]

My husband got a promotion that had us moving from FL to SC. His ex tried to stop it and the judge allowed it. It was way better income and medical benefits, his ex was constantly in contempt for non-payment, was sporadic in her visitation, and he also had custody for fourteen years at that point.

That being said, expect a LOT of injustice in family courts. Many of the judges are older males and they think children belong with the mothers no matter how mentally unstable some of them could be. DH received custody because his ex did not show up for court. He was homeless with their three children and she could have easily had them handed over to her instantly.

I also volunteered as a GAL in FL, it astounds me to this day what parents are allowed to do to children because of DNA.

 

[bicker]

I agree... between the "children belong with the mothers no matter [what]" mentality, and the inclination to afford otherwise-justifiable deference to people serving our country, shared custody is not inviolate.

 

[cabanafrau]

I agree... between the "children belong with the mothers no matter [what]" mentality, and the inclination to afford otherwise-justifiable deference to people serving our country, shared custody is not inviolate.

The "children belong with the mothers no matter what" mentality is very much becoming a thing of the past in the courts here.

50/50 custody is becoming the goal of most judges. It's a great theory, however even in the very best of situations it presents a great deal of challenges.

OP, only involve Protective Services if absolutely necessary. The spinout may not be helpful.

 

[bicker]

The "children belong with the mothers no matter what" mentality is very much becoming a thing of the past in the courts here.

Let's hope it gets there soon, and get there everywhere.

 

[PigletsMommy]

OP, my brother now has full physical custody of his daughter and his situation sounds a lot like your brothers.

He is in also in MI. Married this woman who had 2 children by 2 different men, and then she got pregnant with my brother's child.

It only took 2 years for that marriage to fall apart & my brother to move out. He was in & out of the courts constantly because she was always violating the court orders.

Facebook was his best friend. I can't tell you how many pictures I printed out of her partying. The dates were printed on the pictures & they were the dates she had her kids. He also hired a PI & found out she was having men she barely knew spend the night while the kids were there. They had a court order that each party must know someone 6 months before introducing them to the kids.

Also, I thought the waiting period in MI was 6 months after a divorce before you could marry again? I would have to double check on that...its been a long time since my parents divorced but I remember my dad being in a huge hurry to marry my stepmom. Exactly 6 months from the divorce being final he was remarried. ETA: I just googled it. I dont know when it changed but there is no waiting period at all now.

My advice is to keep track of EVERYTHING! While your niece may be a wealth of information, it is best to keep her out of it & try to get the information other ways.

Your brother has a stable job (even tho he travels). He has a support system. He already financial supports the child more than she does (sending food home with her and paying for school). With all that, his chances are very good for winning custoday.