Can I vent about school attendance?

[MushyMushy]

Our school district has a pretty strict attendance policy. If a kid misses 3 days or more, they need a doctor's excuse, which is fine -- I get that. They get 10 days total, and then they need a doctor's slip for every absence after that.

This has been a particularly bad year for us, illness wise, and the kids have been sick for 2-3 days at a shot each time, which quickly brought us to our limit.

We actually got a registered letter a week or so ago for DS, saying that he reached his limit and if he missed any more school, it would be unexcused and we'd have to go in front of the magistrate. It's only February and here we are, all suffering from some kind of virus!

I tried to get DS to at least make some effort to go, but he's too sick and he just had a total meltdown about it. Now I'm faced with having to worry about getting sent to the magistrate. Nothing like this has ever happened to me, so now I'm all sick and worried. DD is on her 3rd day of absence this week, so I'm sure we'll get one of those letters for her too. I don't know what will happen.

To make matters worse, we're without insurance until April 1 thanks to DH's job change. We have no problem paying to go to the doctor ($80 each! ), but it just galls me to no end to have to go JUST for the freakin' excuse. We're sick, but not sick ENOUGH to be under a doctor's care.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. I don't feel well at all, and I'm worried. I hate the school's attendance policy, even though I know they have good reasons for it. It just perpetuates the whole cycle where kids have to go to school sick, only to make other kids sick too.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am sorry your family has had such a tough year! I hope everyone is feeling better soon. Do you think your doctor's office might write a note without being seen?

Denae

 

[slo]

I'm so sorry about all this - it sounds like you need a big hug!!!

I'm also sorry to hear about all the illness in your house
I'll send a lot of get well PD your way for all of you!!!

Do you have a doctor that will write you an excuse w/o seeing you?
I would give them a call and see if they would (it's worth a try)

I hope things get better soon

 

[RadioNate]

I just got a letter this week too so I'm right there with you. In my letter it stressed the imporance of being in school, on time, ever day and how they really need to meet the 97% attendence goal...ect ect.

Then it went on to say 'please don't send kids to school until they have been fever free for 24 hours.' So which is it? Be in school or stay home sick?

So frustrating.

My DS missed all last week and still hadn't been fever free for 24 hours when I sent him back but like you I was told we were reaching our acceptable limit of absences.

I'm just tired of the mixed messages..don't send sick kids to school but everyone must do their best to be in school everyday!

 

[meandtheguys2]

I'd risk the magistrate. Hopefully they have more sense than the school system. We went 1 month without insurance, once. That is so stinking stressful. I hope your crew feels better soon.

 

[MushyMushy]

I just got a letter this week too so I'm right there with you. In my letter it stressed the imporance of being in school, on time, ever day and how they really need to meet the 97% attendence goal...ect ect.

Then it went on to say 'please don't send kids to school until they have been fever free for 24 hours.' So which is it? Be in school or stay home sick?

So frustrating.

My DS missed all last week and still hadn't been fever free for 24 hours when I sent him back but like you I was told we were reaching our acceptable limit of absences.

I'm just tired of the mixed messages..don't send sick kids to school but everyone must do their best to be in school everyday!

Wow, that is a mixed message! What the heck do they want from us anyway? Actually, our school doesn't send a mixed message at all. They flat out tell the kids to come sick. I heard it myself in the classroom!

I am sorry your family has had such a tough year! I hope everyone is feeling better soon. Do you think your doctor's office might write a note without being seen?

Denae

My doctor is pretty good about giving me a note for a day here and there, but I try very hard not to take advantage of it. But he won't give me a note for 3 days without seeing the kids. And the problem was with DD was that her first day, she got a migraine, then morphed into a virus. She's better today, but still weak -- certainly not enough to pay $80 for a doctor to pat her on the head and tell her to get better. I think if she got out into the cold weather, she would get sick again. Anyway, I don't feel like I should have to justify WHY I'm keeping my sick kid home to recover.

 

[hentob]

Same policy here and it does stink, doesn't it?

I don't understand it. I mean if your child has diarrhea and is vomiting, why would you go to the doctor? HOW would you go (I guess you could strap on a diaper ) It's a stomach flu. No need to pay $100 to be told that.

Legally, can they DEMAND you go to the doctor? What if you don't have the money?

 

[C.Ann]

What it really boils down to is state aid.. If the kids aren't in school, the school misses out on "x" amount of dollars.. It's one of the reasons that it's not uncommon for schools in the northeast to be open on treacherous winter days - only to turn around and send the kids back home an hour or two after attendance has been taken..

Same applies for remedial reading and remedial math classes.. If they don't have "x" number of kids in each class, they don't get the state aid - so they will randomly place kids in these classes whether they actually need it or not..

Probably the only way to get around this kind of policy is to send your child to school sick (which is really going to tick off the other parents) and then have the school nurse send them home because they're ill..

Having said that, school policy or no school policy - if my child were sick they would be staying home - and let the chips fall where they may..

Hope you all feel better soon!

 

[KadysMom]

i totally understand what you are going through. I wont send my daughter to school if she is sick. Why would i risk having her get the other children sick. I would go crazy if i got a letter from the school!!!!

 

[MushyMushy]

Same policy here and it does stink, doesn't it?

I don't understand it. I mean if your child has diarrhea and is vomiting, why would you go to the doctor? HOW would you go (I guess you could strap on a diaper ) It's a stomach flu. No need to pay $100 to be told that.

Legally, can they DEMAND you go to the doctor? What if you don't have the money?

I have no idea how some people do it, I really don't. I feel for people who don't have money or insurance. I remember the days, back when DS was little, that our pediatrician charged $30. And he let us make payments on it! Those days are sure long gone.

 

[hentob]

Mushy, I am sure you know from the days of student teaching how you are not allowed to suggest a child has any disorder or syndrome (ADD, PDD-NOS, etc.) There are certain ways to go about it so the school does NOT have to pay for the testing.

But in this case, they DEMAND that you go o the doctor What the heck? how do they get out of paying for your visit when they are the ones DEMANDING?

Has anyone ever challeneged this?

In first grade, my son missed 21 days. Yes, we had a WDW trip (so some were excused for vacation reasons), but he then was sick on and off. He was under a doctor's care, but honestly, I don't remember the teacher even asking for an excuse

I think it is when they get to the upper grades that they really start following these rules.

 

[jen0610]

Yep, we got the same letter. DS has 7 days on record and for us it is after the 9th day out, that you are reported to the truancy officer. If you are out for a 10th/+ day(s), you have to have a DR's excuess. The school knows that he suffers from migraines, to the point that he gets physically ill. The DR's office has no problem, faxing the school a note for these times, without seeing him, but for anything else, they have to see him. And I'm sorry, but at a $20.00 co-pay per visit (which I am very greatful for having insurance), I can self diagnose that he has a cold and give him plenty of fluids and tylenol for the fever. I don't need to pay a DR to tell me this. And he is my kid, because just like his mom, if there is a bug to catch or germ to pass around, he will catch it and suffer big time.

 

[Luv'sTink]

That is just crazy! Everyone has been sick this year, it is bad. We got a reminder to keep sick kids home.

 

[Brianne]

We got a letter recently as well. The youngest is in Kindergarten, which parents know is the germiest place on earth. We've been dealing with ear infections, fevers & now we're suspecting asthma to boot.

The schools have all these rules, yet the parents are the ones who get punished when we follow them! There's a trickle-down effect as well; because I'm so paranoid about the kids missing school days, I won't even pull them out for doctor/dentist appointments anymore. Luckily we have a doctor who has Saturday hours but I'm still searching for a dentist with evening/weekend hours.

 

[taximomfor4]

My kids generally WANT to go to school unless they are very, very sick. So I send them to school (where they caught the illness anyway) if they are only minor illnesses, and let the school send them home after attendance. The good thing is, if they have a fever, the school forbids them coming in the next day, as well. And pretty often, the kids are not as sick as they seem in the morning, and go through the whole school day just fine...and are still energetic and cheery when they get home.

Our school even says, if it is just a cold, send them anyway. Otherwise, kids would never be at school from November to March!

Beth

 

[horseshowmom]

What it really boils down to is state aid.. If the kids aren't in school, the school misses out on "x" amount of dollars.. It's one of the reasons that it's not uncommon for schools in the northeast to be open on treacherous winter days - only to turn around and send the kids back home an hour or two after attendance has been taken..

Same applies for remedial reading and remedial math classes.. If they don't have "x" number of kids in each class, they don't get the state aid - so they will randomly place kids in these classes whether they actually need it or not..

Probably the only way to get around this kind of policy is to send your child to school sick (which is really going to tick off the other parents) and then have the school nurse send them home because they're ill..

Having said that, school policy or no school policy - if my child were sick they would be staying home - and let the chips fall where they may..

Hope you all feel better soon!

I'm a school administrator, and you are 100% correct (and it really annoys me too). When I was in the classroom, I caught everything everybody brought to school. I was amazed at how sick some kids were and had been sent to school. I was grateful to the parents who kept the sick children home.

One of the arguments is that we need to make sure students attend school regularly and that some have parents who won't make them go to school like they should. Honestly, you can tell which kids are really staying home sick and which ones are just getting to stay home when they want to do so. It's pretty obvious. Of course, the problem comes in when you try to enforce a rule with one but not with the other.

Unfortunately, in our whole school district (county), we only have one school nurse, and she teaches Allied Health at the Vo-Tech, so she's not available. Once a kid gets to school, they generally wind up staying here (not always, but most of the time).

Anyway, as a former classroom teacher, thanks to those of you who keep your sick children at home!

 

[taximomfor4]

Unfortunately, in our whole school district (county), we only have one school nurse, and she teaches Allied Health at the Vo-Tech, so she's not available. Once a kid gets to school, they generally wind up staying here (not always, but most of the time).

Anyway, as a former classroom teacher, thanks to those of you who keep your sick children at home!

I am guessing that this is aimed at me, in a roundabout way because I send my kids a little sick. Trust me, whatever they have, has already been in the school. To me, sniffling is NOT sick. The school is wonderful about sending the kids home if they are acting fatigued, have a fever, or worsen during the day. In fact, my oldest is in 9th grade and only ONCE has one of my kids worsened to the point of getting sent home (his temp went up although he had barely any cold symptoms). The district nurse sends a note home at the beginning of each year, saying that kids with cold symptoms should still be sent to school. Fever, vomiting, and diarrhea in the last 24 hours, and rash are the things to keep kids home for. Along with more serious illnesses.

DH is a teacher, and he would rather have kids in school with colds, than have half the class playing catch-up for weeks.

 

[KadysMom]

I dont care if the school says to send them sick. I would not do it. That is totally up to the parents. If my daughter is sick, she stays home. Period. If the school has issues with her attendance, oh well.

 

[cepmom]

our High School has a similar policy...it makes me crazy! Here it's 5 unexcused absences per term...anything past 5 per term, is unexcused. Now, if you are sick and saw a Dr or had a death in the family it is excused and does not count toward the 5 unexcused. But when you have a bad cold or the flu or stomach bug, the 5 days will add up quickly. Who take their kids to the Dr for those type illnesses anyway? The Dr's are busy seeing patients that really need to be seen by a Dr and you are wasting there time and your own by going there just for the note.

What really makes me mad is the fact that as a parent, I am not allowed to determine when my child is sick enough to stay home, but the school nurse can. If I send my child to school and she goes to the nurse, the nurse can say she can go home sick, and it's an excused absence, but if I keep her home because she has bad cramps, a cold, diarreah etc, it's unexcused.

A few years ago we went to WDW and DD missed 5 days for that trip. I was under the impression that vacations were excused and I even wrote letter to the principal and all her teachers telling them we would be on vacation and not one person ever said a word to me. Well sure enough she was sick one day that term throwing up. It was a 24 hour thing and she went back to school the next day. The school gave her an attendance failure and refused to allow the illness to be excused. They told me I had to get a Dr's note to excuse that day. Who take their 13 year old to the Dr for throwing up? Who are they to tell me I need to make an appt for throwing up, pay the co-pay, waste my time and the Dr's?? What if I didn't have insurance?? I need to go to the Dr's ,pay out ouf pocket for the Dr to tell me to keep her hydrated and get a note? I freaked out and told the principal the next time she is sick I will send her in to throw up in the school and get everyone else sick. Eventually they excused that sick day.

I'm her parent ~ I make decisions about how to raise her, and make medical decision for my children all the time, but I'm not allowed to say when she's sick enough to stay home. It really pisses me off.

If you couldn't tell, this is a real sore spot for me

 

[manning]

I am guessing that this is aimed at me, in a roundabout way because I send my kids a little sick. Trust me, whatever they have, has already been in the school. To me, sniffling is NOT sick. The school is wonderful about sending the kids home if they are acting fatigued, have a fever, or worsen during the day. In fact, my oldest is in 9th grade and only ONCE has one of my kids worsened to the point of getting sent home (his temp went up although he had barely any cold symptoms). The district nurse sends a note home at the beginning of each year, saying that kids with cold symptoms should still be sent to school. Fever, vomiting, and diarrhea in the last 24 hours, and rash are the things to keep kids home for. Along with more serious illnesses.

DH is a teacher, and he would rather have kids in school with colds, than have half the class playing catch-up for weeks.

Had a friend who went thru this. The child was a straight A student. He was seriously Ill. The school wanted the money and told them they would be reported and grades would be reduced.

Friend knew what was going on and informed them they will be home schooling from now on and did the necessary paperwork. The school played nasty and reported them. After straightening everything out with the court the friend informed the school if this happened again they will be sued. Case closed.