Can I just vent for a minute?! So upset right now!

[pipersmom]

You're doing the right thing by not involving your girls in the drama. I agree with pp that you should just tell them that he said it wasn't a good time to talk. I am the product of a very!! bitter divorce, neither my mother or father held their tongues about their opinions of each other, and it influenced my relationships with both of them. I just got sick of hearing it. I also completely understand where you're coming from as I'm divorced as well, and my ex-hub is also a first class *insert select word here*. I always take the high road because of my experiences with my parents. It's impossible to take them back to court for every small violation, but I do keep a journal also, and would highly recommend it to you. *hug*

 

[Kimickey]

Another vote for documenting everything. I too have an ex who has since remarried and is beyond bitter with me. Without going into detail, my ex has not really been in our two childrens lives. He has every other weekend visitation. That ceased to exist in June when he took it upon himself to email me and tell me he wasn't picking up the kids any longer. Long story short, since then he's been trying to get a parental agreement, I have no problems with that, however I do have a problem with him wanting to get involved with our kids at his convenience. Since getting married child support has stopped and the kids haven't seen him. However he wants to take me to court for temp custody. Little does he know I've been documenting everything (emails, phone records, and memorandum for records). So what he has accused me of (child neglect, child abuse, and not letting him see our kids), will all show up as a lie that he has sworn to be true...not a good look for him...

I as all of this to say...document, document, document! Even the smallest memorandum for record will hold weight. Wont look good on his behalf Continue to take the high road and minimize the drama. It will piss him off even more (for its all about power to him), but trust me it will work out in your favor if you don't give into his little games. The more I ignored my ex's games the angrier he has become -- hence all of the court drama right now. What your ex is looking for is a reaction from you -- don't give into him. Just continue to do right by your little ladies (as I know you will). I know its tough but it will save you a lot of heart ache and drama in the long run. Let him keep the soap opera going on his end!

 

[AlleyKat]

Yea, we have a prepaid cell that is strickly used for the ex (that is what I am using) since we don't want him having our regular cell phone number after all his past 2am harassing phone calls he used to make on our home phone (which we had turned off). I just spoke to him again and now he says the girls are at a neighbors house spending the night while he takes for a test for an online course (he said they were there all day while he studied). So much for spending time with the girls, especially on Hol's bday right?!

Do you happen to know the neighbors the girls are staying with?

Studying, taking a test, not letting the girls talk to you on the phone...I'd be mad with hatred and worry!

Good luck to his girlfriend, she'll most likely need it!

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Do you happen to know the neighbors the girls are staying with?

Studying, taking a test, not letting the girls talk to you on the phone...I'd be mad with hatred and worry!

Good luck to his girlfriend, she'll most likely need it!

No, I don't know the neighbor...I honestly can't even tell you where the man lives..I just know he moved from the address he had on file with the court when he bought this new house last Christmas. I am just counting down to the time tomm when I pick the girls up in Tallahassee...of course I am dreading the trip as I am driving the three hours there and three hours back alone (DF has to work grrr) and got to say that I am grateful we meet in a public place so ex can't mess with me. I just hope he isn't late like usual since I want to get home with the girls at a decent hour.

 

[OceanAnnie]

No, I don't know the neighbor...I honestly can't even tell you where the man lives..I just know he moved from the address he had on file with the court when he bought this new house last Christmas. I am just counting down to the time tomm when I pick the girls up in Tallahassee...of course I am dreading the trip as I am driving the three hours there and three hours back alone (DF has to work grrr) and got to say that I am grateful we meet in a public place so ex can't mess with me. I just hope he isn't late like usual since I want to get home with the girls at a decent hour.

I think that is so wrong of him! What was the point of his having a "visit"? Did the kids know this neighbor? I would get a revision on the visitation quick. It sounds like more games. Keeping your DD from you on her birthday and having her with strangers to get to you. Why wouldn't he wait till he had the time to spend with them? I'd be fuming mad.

 

[Disney Doll]

I agree with the others to document, document, document.
I also wouldn't be too happy about his visitation time with his kids being spent with his kids at a "neighbors' " house!

Hopefully he'll remove himself from your life for a while after this escapade...

 

[WebmasterAlex]

The problem with going back to court for any reason is that he could start taking them all the time he can, not because he wants to see them but out of spite.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

The problem with going back to court for any reason is that he could start taking them all the time he can, not because he wants to see them but out of spite.

This is true. He recently filed again to have child support lowered and to not have to pay some marital debt due to him not having enough money to live on...I filed a motion to dismiss as we were just in court for these same reasons in October and the judge ruled against him. Low and behold all of a sudden he wants the girls for this holiday. I really do think he did it because he was mad he lost in court and is trying to "punish" me.

Oh and his reason to lower child support was that he now has a new baby with his GF and can't afford to take care of her and pay so much in child support for my girls. I told the judge well, I have a baby on the way too and am not asking him to raise child support to pay for my child so why should the support be lowered to pay for his?! I just don't get him!

 

[kellyg403]

I am with the others, the kids are eventually going to see the truth. Sounds like dad is not consistent and then when he is, well he just is a jerk. Poor kid!

I, also, would probably let your dd know you did try to call but dad was studying and they were playing at the neighbors. I wouldn't stoop to his level for sure. Next visit, right in front of the kids, I would tell ex, hey I am supposed to call dd on friday for insert whatever reason, what would be a good time to call. Push it back on dad. I did this with my ex after awhile he got the message, cause really during their visit he wants to look like the best of the bestest. KWIM?

Always take the high road. And you are right, financially it doesn't make sense to constantly go back and fight every little thing. I don't know if you can discuss visitatio issues at a child support hearing but, hey I would definitely ask if there is a date when you could and bring your documentation.

Kelly