Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

[Strings]

Hi Cam,

I know that you are busy. I just wanted to wish you a good weekend.

Take care,
Beth

 

[daisy_77]

Hi, Cam! I hope that all goes well for you and have a great time at the football game!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Cam!

Stopping by to WISH you a wonderful weekend! Hope everything is going well with you!

 

[keenercam]

Thank you so much to everyone who has stopped by to say hello. And thank you for your good wishes!

It has been a busy time and I haven't really been focusing on my WISH efforts, so it was very easy to avoid my own journal. UGH!

There has been so much going on and it is hard to even remember all of it. DH and I spent Sunday at my parents' house, cleaning out more junk and moving some stuff to which I am sentimentally attached. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and yet all week I've had sudden unexplainable moments of sadness and melancholy.

Work has been busy and I've been out of my office more often than usual. Surprisingly, it hasn't been hard to make smart food choices at those times. The worst of it is the evenings when I have been eating pretty much everything in sight. It is so strange to be completely conscious of myself doing that, kind of like looking down on a scene, and I have running through my head "you'll have to count those 6 points. You may be using flex points" etc. etc. So it's like I am out of control in a very conscious, controlled way.

I have only made time to exercise once this week and that was because I met a friend at the Y. I know this is very cyclical and it's the one week out of the month when I eat too much and exercise too little. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I am still cheat-free just because I am SOOO good whenever I can be -- it helps to make up for those evenings.

Let's see, what else . . . Oh, okay, just to keep track of this and remember how much I tried to seize control of our lives. Yesterday, our schedules got to me and I realized we needed to take them in hand, or at least get a handle on them. DH was teaching last night. I had to get my nails done (more than a week overdue-- ouch!). DS had cross-country practice. DD had band. DS and I met up at home at 8 and I made him a quick dinner, then he & I went to DD's school to do band-mom stuff. We three left there at 9:10. DH arrived home about 9:40. I had called a family meeting for 10, with day-timers/calendars/planners (be there or be unconscious!!! ). It took us forty minutes (with me acting as a drill seargant) to go through our calendars as they stand from now until Christmas break, put ALL dates on the master family calendar in the kitchen and have everyone else put pertinent dates in their personal calendars.

DD is incredibly overwhelmed by her schedule already and it is only going to get worse.

If DS gets a major part in his school play, he will have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays 3-5, then cross-country practice 6-7:15 and on Thursdays then go to boy scouts until 8:30. He also sings in a boys' choir and will have practices every other week for that as well.

At least they all understand that staying organized will require a huge family effort and they are, for the moment, dedicated to the cause.

As for me -- my 1/2 marathon training schedule starts 10/2. I am going to dedicate myself to staying on that schedule.

Food today:
B: Einstein brothers power bagel with one slice cheese (9) (WOW! This is more than I expected!)
L: broccoli w/grilled chicken (4)

Will drink lots of water today and figure out what to have for dinner with lots of free veggies.

 

[goldcupmom]

Your busy life sounds like mine! Never a dull moment, huh?

Organizing in everything.

Hope you have time for a breather this weekend.

Hang in there!

 

[lillygator]

Hey!! 9 points for a bagel - did I read that right? I bet it was huge though....I've never had an EB bagel or any of their stuff for that matter.
Hope you have a great weekend!!

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Julie, and thanks, sweetie!

V -- actually, the bagel is small rectangle and very dense. It has all sorts of grains in it and sunflower seeds and cranberries. It is 8 points! I had NO idea at all when I ate it. I actually thought it was the smarter choice over a regular bagel. I WON'T be doing that again anytime soon. Maybe on a morning when I have walked at least an hour and have some APs to burn! It sure was yummy, though! And my entire office staff and my colleagues are LOVING the 1.5 dozen bagels and flavored cream cheeses I brought in for them today. I am not going to think of all that temptation just down the hall from my office. And I AM going to eat my grilled chicken and broccoli for lunch, instead of a lunchmeat and cheese sandwich on a bagel. And I am NOT going to go taste a pumpkin bagel that everyone is raving about.

 

[Mykelogan]

Wow Cam, sounds like you and your family are very busy! Glad you were able to pop back in here too. Remember, even though you may lose sight of the WISH, the WISH never loses sight of you!!!

Take care of yourself and have a great weekend!!!
Mike

p.s I started Wicked!!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

cam--your schedule sounds so busy!!!! doing the calender was probably a great idea--i love being organized!!
hope you have a great weekend and get some time to relax!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Cam!!!!!

Just wanted to pop in and say hi!!!! Hope you are having a great Sunday.

Keep up the good work

 

[keenercam]

I am so peeved at myself. I have been so off track this past week or so. I HAVE to get focused again. I don't even know what "compulsion" had me eating everything in sight. And I certainly wasn't earning APs to make up for it.
I think the first thing I am going to do is modify my signature and add some of my challenges back. I am feeling a little resentful of not seeing my progress reflected in my signature. There are many people on this board who have a lot more pictures in their siggies than I do now, so I am going to add back the current ones, and hope that I can re-motivate.

The only thing I have done right in the past week or so is go to the gym once and walk/jog the 5K yesterday. But I feel bloated and yucky and fat and disgusted with myself. So, back to the drawing board. No eating after dinner. No eating out for a while. Figure out a way to fit my formerly successful plan around my currently crazy and demanding schedule. I have less than 2 weeks before I start the marathoning for mortals "walk a half marathon" training schedule. I am NOT going to sabotage myself in the next two weeks. I have to get exercising back into my routine, regardless of whether anyone else is meeting me to walk or work out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
x-posted from the training thread:
My training has been non-existent and I have been coming here to be inspired by all of you, even though I haven't been posting. . . . (My biggest injury so far was banging my knee on the coffee table yesterday as I went to the kitchen for dessert! )

Did my 5K yesterday with only one "workout" this past week, so I shouldn't be surprised that there wasn't much of an improvement. But, my "performances" seem to be improving each time and I think by the time I start the MFM "walk the 1/2" plan on 10/2, my pace will be low enough that I can really focus on form and endurance. I am going to add some inclined TM work for the next couple of weeks, too.

So, here is my performance record to date:

DATE-----TIME-----PACE

3/5/05-----54:40-----17:36
7/4/05-----50:12-----16:09
7/23/05-----49:47-----16:01
9/3/05-----47:24-----15:15
9/18/05-----46:21-----14:55


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am going to go back to planning my menus, too, so that I can be sure I am getting in a healthy mix and meeting my nutritional requirements. Once again, I have to remind myself that eating healthy requires a heck of a lot more than staying within my points. I should not be saving 6 points a day for a junk food fix at night. And I should not be using FPs routinely to cover my splurges. Going back to my 24 points a day + any APs that I earn. And I really have to cut back on the coffee (even with using sweet n low and light creamer) and try to start drinking water from the time I get up in the morning and throughout the day.

Food today:
B: 2 lite EMs with 2 turkey sausage patties & 1 slice ff cheese (5)
S: light yogurt (2)
L: garden salad (0); solid white tuna in water (3.5) mixed w/tomato, onion, celery & ff mayo (1)

Update at 3:00 pm -- couldn't find a garden salad where I went for lunch, so I just got some lettuce and threw some veggies on it, then made tuna w/ff mayo at my office for on top of it all. Also got some dry almonds and am hoping the good fat/protein is a good choice.

S: Almonds (5) ACK!!!! I ate wayyyy too many of these and didn't realize the points value (had the numbers pistachios in my head and just overdid it.

So, as of now -- 16.5 points. 56 oz water.

It's about 5:50 and I am still at work and feeling a little nauseous from all the water I have been drinking. I am up to 76 oz and hadn't been drinking enough this weekend, so my body isn't quite used to the volume right now. I was so incredibly tired after lunch that I needed a caffeine hit at about 4:00. I also thought I was very hungry, but I think the water has knocked that issue to the side.

I am trying to motivate myself to have a very productive evening. The plan is to leave here by 6:30 and go home to change into workout clothes and grab my ipod and a book. Then off to the gym for at least an hour. The goal then is to drive right past the taco bell (just because a crunchy taco fresco style is 3 points does NOT mean I get to have one or two every time I go to the gym and am too tired to think about cooking). DH is defrosting chicken breast for me and I will marinate it and cook it in my grill pan to have lots of recipe-ready protein at hand this week. I also have an eggplant in the fridge that has to be cooked before it goes bad. My plan is to dip in egg beaters and very little bread crumb and "fry" in non-stick spray, top with light spaghetti sauce, and enjoy a modified eggplant parmagiana for lunches this week. I may even stop on the way home and pick up some shredded fat free mozzarella to top it.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Cam--
you CAN do this!!!!! I know it gets hard sometimes, but youll get by this and itll be in the past! have a great week and well start the exercising together

 

[keenercam]

Thank you, Jen! Well, I did get to the gym, and did exercise. I did about 30 minutes on the cross trainer -- 2 miles in about 27:10, so I was pleased with that. THen I started talking to a friend and didn't get on another piece of equipment. Am glad I got my 1/2 hour in and didn't overdo it, especially since I have a doctor's appt in the early a.m.

Food didn't go quite as planned. DH forgot to take out the chicken to defrost and it was nearly 9 when I got home from the gym, so I just did egg beaters w/salsa over light english muffins (3); then 1 light string cheese w/pumpernickel sticks (2); turkey pepperoni "chips (2). So, I am right on target for points for the day and I didn't use my APs or anymore FPs. I am going to have to suck it up and take the hit on the scale tomorrow for the 2 disastrous weeks I've had, but I am back on track.

Thanks to all my WISH friends who are helping me with this journey.

 

[Mykelogan]

Yay for back on Track!!!
And I say add back those clippies too! Lots of people have sooo much more than you.
Did I see pepperoni chips on your list? Yummmyy!!! hehe! Love em!
Good for you getting in that exercise! And when you weigh in, take the hit & keep going, I am sending you my magic DIS bullet proof vest to wear! No worries, it weighs nothing! hehe! I love seeing how your pace has improved. It motivates me!

I hope that you have a great night and a better tomorrow!!!
Mike

 

[keenercam]

Yay for back on Track!!!
And I say add back those clippies too! Lots of people have sooo much more than you.
Did I see pepperoni chips on your list? Yummmyy!!! hehe! Love em!
Good for you getting in that exercise! And when you weigh in, take the hit & keep going, I am sending you my magic DIS bullet proof vest to wear! No worries, it weighs nothing! hehe! I love seeing how your pace has improved. It motivates me!

I hope that you have a great night and a better tomorrow!!!
Mike

Thank you, Mike! Yes. I finally made those pepperoni chips I read about in your journal. They were very very flavorful and therefore, satisfying. The flavor really intensifies when you cook them dry. It was a good last food for the evening because it was so spicy and flavorful that I didnt' really want to eat anything else afterwards.

Well, it was hard to get on the scale this morning, and I was glad to see I haven't done as much "damage" as I'd thought, but I am definitely up 2 pounds from the somewhat fluky all time low I weighed on 9/7. Mike, thanks for the loan of the vest -- it was a big help. Deflected all impact, including the disappointment, discouragement and total sense of hopelessness I might have felt in the past for having taken a couple steps backward.

I am still 1/5 for the September challenge, and even though there is no way I will lose 4 in the next 10 days, I am just glad to be down a little bit, rather than up.

So much going on right now. DS12 is still having serious issues with his ears and his body is rejecting one of the tubes that was put in last November -- he has developed a bloody polyp inside his ear right at the tube and it is growing. Really horrible, gruesome thought and it is painful for him. So, after a visit to the specialist this morning, he is on steroid drops for a month and then a re-evaluation. In the meantime, he is auditioning for his 7th/8th grade play this afternoon and the lack of hearing in one ear is really impacting his speech clarity and volume. Am hoping he can get past this without another surgery (it would be his 5th).

I also had a doctor's appt this morning, with the hematologist who deals with this rare blood condition I have. He was so surprised (pleasantly) with how much weight I've lost in a year, and then I clarified that it has been since January and he is concerned about the speed. He also thinks my weight goal is too low, and urged me to consult with my family doctor about it, even though I reminded him that goal is still above what the weight charts say I should weigh. Anyway, there is still no cure in sight for this condition and since he can't find any record of "this extreme a case" there isn't really any anecdotal evidence of successful treatment. I am totally unaffected by it, though, so I am not even going to think about it, except to be sure that I get up from my desk or in court or on a plane frequently enough to lessen the likelihood of blood clots. Fortunately, the huge amounts of water I drink keep me getting up pretty frequently to refill my thermal mug and to go to the ladies room.

Have already had a great breakfast and will try to stay on track again today.
B: WW english muffin breakfast sandwich (4); coffee w/cream (1); apple (1)
L: garden salad (0); soy crisps (3)

Tonight, I really have to cook the chicken and the eggplant and should have the time to do it since I have to leave work early to pick up Andy from his audition and get him home to be picked up for cross-country practice. I may even be able to squeeze in a visit to the gym for about 1/2 hour on the bike. I am a bit sore from the elliptical last night, but I actually prefer to feel that I've worked out so I can feel like I accomplished something. Someday, though, I'll run with the big and 1/2 hour on the elliptical will be the warmup!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Cam,

So sorry to hear about your son. Here's son hoping that he gets better soon.

You have a very good outlook on things......good for you.

You are doing a great job, keep up the good work

 

[lillygator]

Hi Cam - sorry to hear about your DS...I hope his ear clears up soon - I imagine that must be painful!

 

[keenercam]

Thank you, Jamie & V. I will pass along your good wishes to DS.

Well, it was nice to come home early and I got to do some cooking. Made a modified eggplant parm w/1 cup of bread crumbs (8) and egg beaters (1) and cooked with non-stick spray on a pancake griddle. Then layered the cooked eggplant with a mix of light tomato sauce & canned diced tomatoes. Also ran out to the store and bought some fat free mozzarella. It certainly won't taste anything like my traditional recipe, but it will be filling and satisfying.

Food for the rest of the day was:
S: taste of sliced muenster (1)
D: grilled chicken breast (2); LC supreme pizza (8); baked tortillas w/ff cheese & jalapenos (3)
Dessert: WW chocolate iced cake (1)

The new weight watchers chocolate cake, like the carrot cake variety, is very small and very sweet and not really something I'd crave (I'd rather have chips or pretzels), but it was a nice treat.

Glad to have some stuff in the fridge that will be easy to pack for lunch tomorrow.

Would like to think I'll actually have the willpower to go wogging in the morning. Probably wont' happen, but at least thinking about it.

 

[keenercam]

As I suspected, after another late night, I didn't get up to go wogging this morning. But I did pack my workout bag to go to the gym on the way home tonight.

As I'd hoped, things looked so much better on the scale today which was down 1.5 pounds from yesterday. For some reason, I always weigh lighter on Wednesday and then that weight stays consistent. I may have to change my weigh in day So, I am only .5 up from where I was on 9/7 -- that makes me feel better. I am confident I can take that off between now and next Tuesday. I have another motivation, as well. I have a doctor's appt next Wednesday with the doctor who originally diagnosed my heart condition 10 years ago, when everyone else told me it was stress, lack of sleep and my weight. I can't wait to tell him how much better I am feeling. And he will be really, really thrilled to see my weight loss.

Food looks good for today, though I'm still not completely decided about dinner:

B (8:00 a.m. while driving to work): grilled chicken on light english muffin (3); coffee w/skim milk (.5)
8:30-11:00 -- more coffee--decaf (0); 20 oz water
L (at 2:00): modified eggplant parm w/ff mozzarella(4); sugar snap peas (0); 20 oz water

S: nature valley fruit & nut bar (3)
D: grilled chicken w/spinach, garlic & lemon (2)

 

[toystoryduo]

Hey Cam!

First of all, I want to send a gentle your way.

Second of all, way to go on your pace times for your training! That's great that you have shaved some time off!

Also, want to send some for your son. I hope his ears clear up soon and that he gets the part in the play that he auditions for.

Cam, please be sure and do something for you today, okay?

Take care!