I do realize my choice of words in previous posts wasn't the greatest. I definitely was NOT saying that the Teaching profession is "low class." My in-laws have made, and continue to make, bad financial decisions... as soon as they get a dollar in hand they go and spend it... "putting it in a savings account is no fun!" as they would say.
As the former MIL of a young lady who also called us low class and cited pretty much the same arguments you have just made above, I hope that you are kinder in the way you speak about his parents to your DH. Just wanted to point out that what may seem like bad choices to an outsider, and a fairly young one at that, may not be exactly the case. It sounds as though you live a distance away and don't see them often. Perhaps there are other details you don't know that affect the choices they make which you presently view as low class.
My FIL was a teacher, his school completely closed this past June. He is now unemployed. He hasn't done much to look for a new job ~ he says he is "off" for the Summer since he's a teacher. He will start collecting Unemployment in September (his teaching contract is still technically paying through Aug). He says he wants a job that doesn't have set hours (basically he decides when he wants to show up and go home) and he wants a job with Summers completely off. (good luck finding that!)
I woud classify my in-laws as "lower class." They live paycheck to paycheck. They still have 2 kids living at home; ages 13 and 11. The kids have been begging for a dog, my in-laws gave in and just got one yesterday. I don't believe this is the time for them to be getting a dog, as the financial responsibility of owning one adds up.
Unless you've been privy to all details of their finances and lifestyle, I don't think it's possible - or fair - to judge a family which somehow was high class enough to raise a man you'd fall in love with and who is presumably working to support you in whatever style you strive to become accustomed to.
It does sound as though the potential is there for employment. Your DFIL has experience and a respected profession to fall back on. A teacher relocating or taking the summer off, doesn't strike me as especially shiftless. When you've had a child marry & move away, it's hard not to come face to face with the realization of just how short those parenting years really are. That's prompted several folks I know to re-evaluate priorities/lifestyles/expectations to spend more quality time with the children still left at home.
Vent all you want here on the dis - we're strangers - but please try not to say negative things to your DH about his family - especially using terms like low class. Even if it is true, it's a reflection on him and statements like that hurt - plus get old very quickly. Besides, now that you're married it's really a reflection on you too, isn't it?
You'll note I said former MIL... after several years of bad mouthing his family & friends, in what she thought were subtle little ways, DS31 had enough. Sadly, now that the divorce is final, there are innocent children who are left to feel torn between them.
BTW - I agreed with you about the dog until I saw the statements of what influenced your judgement. I'm so saddened by the dog going back to the shelter. It's not awful that they adopted but it is truly awful that it didn't work out. Every family is not suited to be pet owners, just as every dog is not suited to every family. Part of the reponsibility for ensuring placements will work should also fall on the shelter though. A shelter who releases a high maintenance puppy to a family just b/c they think she's cute, without being made fully aware of any behavior issues or lifestyle requirements, is what seems lazy and low class to me...
