Buyer's Remorse, Anyone?

[Oh Kay!]

I've just completed planning for our December trip. I toted up the numbers and now am suffering a case of buyer's remorse. I keep telling myself that we've got a great hotel rate through AP--thanks Disboard!--and also a great price on airfare. This time we won't be using UPH so we won't be wasting money on tickets. However, I am a PK and I have a trouble spending money, especially several thousand dollars on something as frivolous as a vacation--think of all the starving kids in Africa! I can't help it, even with my husband's best attempt to corrupt me --I was brought up that way.

Sorry to ramble. I know I will have a good time once I get there. Does anyone else go through something similar?

Kay

 

[BrianD]

Let me just say that a vacation, in my opinion, is not frivolous. It is needed from time to time to keep the sanity in life. I say it's money well spent. People should realize this before they experience burnout first.

 

[FloridaCat]

Think of all the people you are making happy. Because of you and your trip down here, they have a job and can plan their vacation.

 

[Oh Kay!]

BrianD, my head absolutely agrees with you, but my heart, Anita, but my heart...

FloridaCat, I majored in Economics. Maybe what I need to do is just to crack open my Macro text.

Kay

 

[jfranklyn]

Kay - take some advice from a "pw" to a "pk": Spend the money. God understand you need a vacation, even if your father might not have!!

 

[mouseketeerwannabe]

Many, many, many of my family's best memories are of our vacations. Even though I could have bought new carpeting for the house, paid for a new wardrobe, or put more money away for retirement, the memories are priceless to me. Also, when I have a vacation to look forward to, it makes getting through the rough weeks a little easier. You deserve this!!

 

[Calcio]

I'll quote Mr. Alfred P. Doolittle, common dustman, and one of the most original moralists in England (at least, that's what Professor Higgins calls him in "My Fair Lady").

Remember Professor Higgins gives Alfie 5 pounds and Colonel Pickering says, "he'll spend it badly I fear." Paraphrasing Alfies reply, "we'll spend it on one good night out, bringing pleasure to ourselves and employment to others. You couldn't spend it better."

Enjoy yourselves and if you can afford the trip don't feel guilty. What could be better than enjoying yourself with your loved ones?

 

[mrssalvaggio]

Great, now I feel guilty! If you don't spend the money on a vacation, will you send it to the starving children in Africa? We give to charities through our church, Toys for Tots, etc. I never thought about doing it out of guilt, but it does make us feel good. I think we all deserve whatever it is we have the means to obtain. There will always be those less fortunate. We feel we do our part, but don't think it's necessary to give up our family vacation. However, I do sometimes have brief feelings of remorse for not using that money to put in savings for our kids college education. My husband reminds me that there are many educational opportunities offered at WDW. Keep listening to your husband and have a great time!!

 

[Forever a Princess]

Yes I was brought up this way too.

I used to feel quilty about our trips but then I started to realize that the trips were "therapy" for my demanding and stressful job. Without the Disney trips I would be too tightly wound and life wouldn't be much fun.

About a year and a half ago we took DM, DF and DM-in-law to Disney and paid for most of the expenses. My DM and DF would not of gone otherwise. I heard some mild protests when we were down there that the trip was too expensive but by the third day all I heard was, "When do we get another character's autograph."

My DF was diagnosed (out of the blue) with a terminal illness a couple of months later. We have the memories of this trip and they are priceless!!!!!

Each trip is a gift. Its not how much you spend on the trip, it is that you are with your family creating lasting precious memories.

Go and have a great time!

p.s. Since we are going in December and to "share" happiness with others at Chirstmas time we donate a check to our local homeless shelter equal or greater to the amount of one night's stay at Disney.

Renee

 

[emilymad]

My parents took me and my brothers on really nice vacations every year, including 2 trips to WDW. I know they spent way more money then I would even consider for a vacation. The memories I have from all those trips are worth way more then the money and mean so much to me. In exchange, my parents weren't able to pay for my college education. I will paying off loans for the next 10 years. I didn't realize that that was what the trade off would be when I was little. I am grateful everyday for those choices that my parents made. I will never forget all those good times that we shared. So to repeat what everyone else has said, don't worry about the money. Life is to precious and too short to not experience as much as possible. Now I just have to convince my parents to go on another vacation to WDW with us!!

 

[chinamom3]

I can speak to this from experience. My husband is a physician, yet he and I were both brought up to be frugal. As a result, there are many things we did not do when our children were younger. As Christians we have always tithed and given offerings to the poor, as well as missions. Yet we often did not give to our children when we could have. While we always took a nice vacation every year, and do have many wonderful memories, I also remember vividly things we didn't do or spend money on that would NOT have broken the bank, and could have made things even more pleasurable. There was also a time when we landscaped our backyard, but to save money, didn't take the kids on a vacation that year. We are still kicking ourselves for that one. I could go on, but you get my drift. God is a happy God, and is delighting in seeing your family enjoy this time together. Make memories, have no regrets, God is bountiful, and money will be there. Let me add, once we asked forgiveness for what I felt in my case what not trusting God to supply, we have loosened up our pockets and enjoyed life, still giving to God and to others. Sorry about the preaching, I've just been there and know how it feels! Have a GREAT time at Disney-we're going in two weeks for the THIRD time this year! See what I mean???

 

[Kimberle]

A former work friend took 15k out of her 401k to take her family to Europe after her son graduated from collage. She was in her mid 50's, her dh had been laid off his "big" job years prior. They were barely making ends "meet".

I thought she was nuts.

Well, 2 years later, she was diagnosed with Cancer & died a few months later. Her dh & 2 kids are so grateful for that last wonderful memory with their mother.

Now, I don't think she was so nuts.......

I always say, follow your heart, it *will* lead you down the right path........

 

[Oh Kay!]

Thank you all for such kind and thoughtful words.

jfranklyn, actually my father would not disapprove. He loves to hear how the boys had wonderful time on their trips. Like chinamom3, he feels badly that he was never able to take us when we were little--think the proverbial church mouse. He once even surmoned that the most important to leave our children are good memories. Of course expensive vacations are not the only way to leave good memeries but I think I'll work around my guilt. Afterall, to paraphrase, the poor will always be with us--I'd thought that sounded rather uncharitible when I was younger.

Kay

 

[ryansmom]

We just booked our rooms for a trip next October. Now I will scrimp and save to pay for it. Last time we went was 1999, four months after my brother-in-law was diagnosed with brain cancer. Well he packed up his chemo, went with us and made treasured memories with his children. He won't make this trip (he is no longer able to travel), but his children will always have memories of their first trip to Disney with Dad.
Live for today!!!

 

[jfranklyn]

Kay,

you're father was absolutely right - pretty much all we're left with is memories. You can keep the money - the memories mean more as far as I'm concerned. It is hard sometimes, especially in the "church" business, to put aside all the feelings of guilt when you know that so many around you are less fortunate. And I know alot of PK's (I think they all interbreed!!) - and many of them have the same issues as you do. Maybe it comes from all those years of packing up Thanksgiving baskets and clothing drives, who knows.

Enjoy every minute of your trip.

 

[Oh Kay!]

Maybe it comes from all those years of packing up Thanksgiving baskets and clothing drives, who knows.

Not to mention the fear of church gossips.

Kay

 

[lovesdumbo]

I was just thinking the same thing last night. Can I really justify spending this money on a vacation? Now I know I don't have to stay Concierge at the Polynesian but I think it will really add to our experience. It will be easier to stay someplace else when the kids are older. I am desperate for a family vacation-time away from the daily routines with my kids and DH. And I just can't think of anyplace I would rather go or anyplace easier to go. My DH is nervous about flying in "these times." So I asked him to come up with someplace else we could go and he couldn't.

So I did my worrying/guilt trip last night. Time to enjoy the planning of a great trip!

 

[Poohlovr]

I take my grandchildren, ages 8 and 11, at least once a year (usually twice) to WDW. Just last night, they were telling me that they plan on taking their grandchildren when that time comes, and, when they do, they are going to tell them about how Susie used to take them to WDW. One of my gk's said "I bet they'll say "I wish she were here with us".

How wonderful is it to leave a legacy like that?? The memories they have are priceless.

As others have posted similar stories---my brother and his wife spent a month in Europe--much to the consternation and dismay of my parents....how much money was that costing???

They returned in August. My brother was killed in an auto accident in September. His wife was left with the memories of that trip. My brother got to do "that one thing" he always wanted to do.

 

[cigar95]

Oh Kay, I'd like to share as well.

First, think of it as a good thing that you're considering the propriety of how you use the money God has given you.

Second, realize that a vacation isn't necessarily frivolous - WDW is, for the most part, good clean fun - a chance to relax a bit and enjoy a different aspect of life. It *is* possible, of course, to spend money on frivoulous things at WDW - as a guidebook writer somewhere wrote, somehow a tie with little Goofys on it seems a lot more attractive in the giftshop than it does when you're putting it on before heading out to work. (Having said that, for someone who is a genuine fan of Goofy, such a tie wouldn't be frivolous!)

Third, if spending your money on vacation isn't taking money away from things that are genuinely important - roof over the head, food on the table, putting some away to send the kids to college, and, yes, the children in Africa and elsewhere - then you can spend it and be grateful for the gift.

It's easy to fall into the trap of "Am I giving enough to those in need?" Save yourself the time and trouble - the answer is no, we can never be satisfied that we've done "enough", since it's always possible to do a little bit more. But we do what we're called to, do it joyfully, and be thankful for what we're able to do.

Perhaps as thanks for the gift of your vacation, when you return you can find an extra special gift to give to someone - maybe it's a donation of your time, rather than a gift of money. Maybe one of those charitable solicitations that arrives in your mailbox will catch your eye like it hasn't before. (Personally, I've gotten a lot of pleasure as a donor to "Heifer Project" - it may be something else for you.)

As others have said - enjoy your vacation, be thankful for the opportunity, and be thankful that it can inspire you to appreciate the gifts you've been given and to use them wisely.

A great topic.

 

[dreamflight99]

Kay~ I grew up with parents whom believed if you "watched the pennies, the dollars would take care of themselves". They also valued FAMILY time and VACATIONS more than anything else in life (next to education). Therefore, as their fortunate blessed daughter and one of four children...I experienced LIFE to the FULLEST! We traveled as much as possible, and tasted the bounty of the WORLD'S CORNUCOPIA on a regular basis. We topped this all off with a month-long (and then some) annual sojourn each summer to some FABULOUS locations. These are the absolute BEST recollections of my "FAMILY" life I have retained inside my soul...and they are PRICELESS.

My parents did not have any VICES, and never imbibed or smoked cigarettes, etc. They decided early on, together, to spend their "extra" money on TRAVEL/EXPERIENCES shared with their children. Some folks splurge on fancy cars, clothing and accessories, others gamble in casinos, and still many SAVE $$$ for the "DREAM TRIP" of their retirement. Many of these persons do not include their "children" in these plans. My parents would have none of this. IT was ALL of us...or none. We were a FAMILY, and traveled as a FAMILY. We remain close, and share memories and tales of all these times we trekked about on seemingly endless adventures.

Recent news of the passing of John Ritter & Johnny Cash reflect the meaning behind the old adage that "Tomorrow is never guaranteed". Some pass before their time, others pass not wanting to go. Either way, Life...is fleeting. None of us can bank on the promise of each new day. Waiting to take a vacation is a gamble, at best. If you can afford it, take it~NOW. There is TRULY no TIME like the PRESENT.

Live your life with your family TODAY. Celebrate and enjoy the moments of youth, and vitality. Share the excitement of new horizons and Magical sunsets. The time you spend together will create an endless stream of images, stored in the corners of your mind. Woven together, they make for a very comforting and secure "COAT" of RICHES beyond your wildest dreams...always just a daydream away. These are the legacies you are leaving for your children. A "tapestry of time" spent in each others company, captured for a rainy day.

True fortune is not to be measured by the paper in your wallet, but the memories collected over time shared with loved ones. The RICHEST people, (IMO) are the ones whom have these "Smiles" & "Treasures" locked safely away in the folds of their memory. These souveniers of LIFE, can never be measured...or stolen. You will have them until your last breath on this earth, and perhaps even beyond.

I too...with my loving husband of nearly 18 years, live for time spent together with our family. My very essence is revealed in the "planning & fruition" of these efforts. Life, is what happens while you are busy making other plans. Therefore, I spend my days LIVING and PLANNING our next escape! Our trips have expanded over the years, and include a total of close to 10 weeks of travel per year. Just as JFK once said, "Some view things as they ARE and ask WHY? I view things as they
MIGHT BE and ask WHY NOT?" This includes every facet of our lives.

Therfore, Kay....It is YOUR FAMILY...and YOURS ALONE. No one else can decide what is BEST for you. I hope you all GO as planned, and have a CAREFREE MAGICAL TIME together in the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! I wish you mental images of LAUGHTER & EXCITEMENT, CONTENTMENT & TOGETHERNESS. May all of your dreams come true...and may the memories you make together truly LAST A LIFETIME. May the Good Lord continue to Bless you and yours with such decisions and opportunities.