Business/Etiquette question: Addressing by First Name vs using wrong gender salutation

[FlightlessDuck]

So I have to write an email to a customer I've never met before. I tend to like to address them as "Mr." or "Ms." (Dr. or Rev. if I know). But what happens when I don't know their gender?

Now, assuming most people are cisgendered, we should be fine 90% of the time, right? John Smith will be Mr. Smith. Melissa Jones will be Ms. Jones. What happens when the first name is Shannan? Robin? Carey? etc.

Would first name be ok? Or should I just call them on the phone instead?

 

[sonnyjane]

So I have to write an email to a customer I've never met before. I tend to like to address them as "Mr." or "Ms." (Dr. or Rev. if I know). But what happens when I don't know their gender.

Now, assuming most people are cisgendered, we should be fine 90% of the time, right? John Smith will be Mr. Smith. Melissa Jones will be Ms. Jones. What happens when the first name is Shannan? Robin? Carey? etc.

Would first name be ok? Or should I just call them on the phone instead?

When in doubt, first name is no big deal compared to messing up the gender. My gender gets messed up A TON in work emails (and my name is 99.999999999999999999% female) and it immediately makes me upset.

 

[BadPinkTink]

how about first name initial and surname ie
To J. Smith
To M.Jones

 

[willowsnn3]

I have a generic email on a template at work for confirming when a person registers for a class. And trust me with some of these names it is impossible to know gender.
So anyway I start out like this:

Hello,

John Doe

Thank you for enrolling......blah blah blah

 

[Anesthesia Fine]

Can you do a quick Google search on their name and see what turns up? I've always defaulted to email etiquette as slightly less formal (Shannan: welcome to the XYZ group! So glad you contacted us. Etc etc etc. Best, AF) but obviously different companies have different expectations.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

"Dear Sir or Madam as the case may be..."

 

[rastahomie]

To Whom It May Concern

 

[Liberty Belle]

Dear human?

Just kidding, I think I'd just go with Dear (or not) Leslie Smith/Chris Jones/Alex Rogers...

 

[iivye]

When I send business emails to people I don't know I just use Good Afternoon or Good Morning as the Salutation instead of "Dear XYZ".

 

[sonnyjane]

To Whom It May Concern

In a professional setting, that, to me, shows that you did NO research and are probably sending out form letters.

 

[pfalcioni]

My rule of thumb is to use only their first name if I am signing with my first name alone in a very informal setting (something like "Hello John, here is the information you requested etc...Thanks, Angela"). Otherwise, it's the generic Good Afternoon/Morning like iivye uses, or Dear John Smith/Joan Smith.

I hate assuming anyone is male or female based on their first name, there's so many that are used for both genders, plus thousands of other names that don't follow the typical European structure - Japanese names, for instance.

 

[wvjules]

Just don't say ediquite. lol

 

[CarolAnn856]

Just don't say ediquite. lol

This!

 

[Lilacs4Me]

"Greetings"

"I would like to welcome you to...."

 

[Cinderella94]

I try to find them on LinkedIn or something first and hope there's a picture. When I can't, I just write "Dear Full Name:" ........

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I have used "Dear Sir/Madam"

and seriously.... what is up with names not easily distinguishable?? The other day at work I had to choose between a "Skyler or Mackenzie" and STILL got it wrong. First time ever I have seen a boy named Mackenzie.

 

[kimblebee]

I have used "Dear Sir/Madam"

and seriously.... what is up with names not easily distinguishable?? The other day at work I had to choose between a "Skyler or Mackenzie" and STILL got it wrong. First time ever I have seen a boy named Mackenzie.

And I've only ever known male Mackenzies lol

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I've only ever known female Mackenzies...
I had 2 names on my screen so I looked right at a teenage boy and said, you must be Sklyer, because I know you aren't Mackenzie. He was like I am Mackenzie... maybe I should have apologized but I wasn't sorry

 

[Skippy918]

Skylar is a girls name too. Many names are unisex these days. I know a woman named Ryan. I think addressing by first name is okay.

 

[wenrob]

^^^My BIL is Skie. My best (male) friend is Ryan, I wanted to use it as a middle name for one of my girls. DH used one of his vetos for that. I went to school with twins named Tracey and Stacey, they were boys. In this day and age, any name is subject. DD went to school with girls named Bradley, Michael and Christopher. I like the first initial, last name approach. First name is too informal. I personally don't like when someone I don't know addresses me by my first name if I haven't introduced myself that way.