BUSH: SADDAM HAD URANIUM ON AMAZON.COM WISH LIST
Sought Banned Weapons, Free Shipping
Backing off somewhat from his earlier claims that Saddam Hussein possessed an active nuclear weapons program, President Bush said today that there was "mounting evidence" that the Iraqi strongman listed "uranium" as an item on his Amazon.com wish list.
"We have reason to believe that Saddam Hussein sought not only uranium at Amazon.com, but free shipping as well," Mr. Bush told reporters. "Without the intervention of the U.S., a nuclear bomb in Iraq was just one click away."
Mr. Bush said the Iraqi dictator's wish list offers incontrovertible proof that Saddam sought weapons-grade uranium, as well as a Segway scooter and the DVD to the James Bond film "Goldeneye."
In addition, the Iraqi madman listed Kim Jung-Il of North Korea as one of his Amazon.com "Favorite People," indicating a level of cooperation between the two evildoers that Mr. Bush called "troubling."
But on Capitol Hill, Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va) said that there was a big difference between possessing an active nuclear program and trying to obtain uranium at the world's largest bookstore.
"We also have evidence that Saddam attempted to use the Internet to hook up with a 34-year old administrative assistant from Tampa who likes boogie-boarding and the music of Faith Hill, yet we have no proof that he ever succeeded in doing so," Senator Rockefeller said.
In a related story, one day after accepting responsibility for errors in his State of the Union Address, Mr. Bush shifted the blame to yet another person in his administration, Postmaster General John E. Potter.
"I don't mind accepting the blame, but one day is more than enough," Mr. Bush said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT****
Sought Banned Weapons, Free Shipping
Backing off somewhat from his earlier claims that Saddam Hussein possessed an active nuclear weapons program, President Bush said today that there was "mounting evidence" that the Iraqi strongman listed "uranium" as an item on his Amazon.com wish list.
"We have reason to believe that Saddam Hussein sought not only uranium at Amazon.com, but free shipping as well," Mr. Bush told reporters. "Without the intervention of the U.S., a nuclear bomb in Iraq was just one click away."
Mr. Bush said the Iraqi dictator's wish list offers incontrovertible proof that Saddam sought weapons-grade uranium, as well as a Segway scooter and the DVD to the James Bond film "Goldeneye."
In addition, the Iraqi madman listed Kim Jung-Il of North Korea as one of his Amazon.com "Favorite People," indicating a level of cooperation between the two evildoers that Mr. Bush called "troubling."
But on Capitol Hill, Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va) said that there was a big difference between possessing an active nuclear program and trying to obtain uranium at the world's largest bookstore.
"We also have evidence that Saddam attempted to use the Internet to hook up with a 34-year old administrative assistant from Tampa who likes boogie-boarding and the music of Faith Hill, yet we have no proof that he ever succeeded in doing so," Senator Rockefeller said.
In a related story, one day after accepting responsibility for errors in his State of the Union Address, Mr. Bush shifted the blame to yet another person in his administration, Postmaster General John E. Potter.
"I don't mind accepting the blame, but one day is more than enough," Mr. Bush said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT****
