Burned out parent..

[ronandannette]

My girls are only 2 and 4 and this thread terrifies me....

So now you all have TERRIFIED of what awaits me. ;-) My oldest is 8. Already with the moods. Other is 4 and is a whole household to herself. It feels like you need 4 adults to keep up with her. Guess I better buckle up, stop yelling, and just "let it go."

Well my friends, all I can say (kindly and sincerely) is during these years keep your eyes open and your mouths shut when it comes to judging other people's kids and/or parenting. You won't know until you know, and maybe you will get an easy ride but there's an undeniable element of luck involved there. Some very good parents, doing a great job, struggle with their kids in ways you wouldn't expect. Stay humble because if you don't, life has a way of handing it to you.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Sorry, this time of year is so hard! if you have a spouse/coparent I'd suggest tapping out. Walk away, do something for yourself, go out or find a room where you can close a door, turn on some music, and truly take a rest. Then you can come back and be your best. Teens can argue until they are blue in the face so I have found that it's better not to try to hash something like that out with them in the moment when you are upset. I tell them I'm unhappy with whatever they did, walk away and collect myself, then we talk later and I find that's much better for avoiding arguments.

 

[tcufrog]

Well my friends, all I can say (kindly and sincerely) is during these years keep your eyes open and your mouths shut when it comes to judging other people's kids and/or parenting. You won't know until you know, and maybe you will get an easy ride but there's an undeniable element of luck involved there. Some very good parents, doing a great job, struggle with their kids in ways you wouldn't expect. Stay humble because if you don't, life has a way of handing it to you.

I totally agree. We thought we were doing something right with Kid#1 because from a very young age he loved healthy food and was a very adventurous eater. Then Kid#2 came along and only wanted stuff like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. Kids are who they are.

 

[mom2rtk]

I totally agree. We thought we were doing something right with Kid#1 because from a very young age he loved healthy food and was a very adventurous eater. Then Kid#2 came along and only wanted stuff like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. Kids are who they are.

Our 3 kids taught me that lesson early on. Each one so different. Mostly what they taught me was that I didn't know nearly as much about parenting as I thought I did going into it.

 

[Lilsia]

I totally agree. We thought we were doing something right with Kid#1 because from a very young age he loved healthy food and was a very adventurous eater. Then Kid#2 came along and only wanted stuff like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. Kids are who they are.

I agree that kids are who they are as far as personality wise. But the food preference is not a valid correlation to a natural human developmental stage like puberty. Just because one child likes to eat broccoli and one child likes to eat chicken nuggets doesn't mean they both can't eat broccoli. Food is a non-negotiable aspect in child rearing because it is much too important for their brain development and their physical well-being. A child being grouchy during puberty and not wanting to take the trash out, is not going to physically affect them the rest of their lives like improper nutrition during their formative years. So yes everybody can have their preferences but I don't see puberty as the same thing as hey I just like to eat mac and cheese, since every human likes some foods and dislikes others that's not a child specific thing.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I think we've all had days where it's like everything and anything is bothering us. You deserve a break Good suggestions with just taking a little bit of time to yourself whatever that may be, some can do it in their homes others need to physically break from the home to get that relaxation but yeah you deserve it

As for your teen and the trash liner, I'd error on the side of just plain forgetfulness in a one-off situation from what you wrote. I normally am the one who gets the trash from the kitchen to put in the trash bin..a few months ago not sure what was going on but I remember forgetting to put the liner back in and I dropped something messy in the trash can ooohh it was so annoying having to clean out the trash can just because I forgot to put a trash bag in it

I feel you on the sinus infection. Pre-covid I usually get that once a year, it wipes me out and normally I'm left with an irritating cough for weeks to over a month. When you're not feeling well it's hard to keep the patience up ...but also when you're hangry which I get from time to time (just ask my husband )

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just offering a because I know how difficult things can get as a parent. I’m glad you have a vacation to look forward to coming up soon after the holiday! Think about that when you get frustrated!

 

[lisaviolet]

Stay humble because if you don't, life has a way of handing it to you.

Oh man, ain't that the truth. I keep thinking I've learned it.

Umm nope.

 

[lisaviolet]

chardonnay and chicken tenders, alone watching a pay per view movie at the holiday inn express that was a few blocks from our then home. dh stayed at home with the kids. no one to deal with, no one to interrupt my tv or my sleep. best sleep i had in ages. it was like hitting a reset button.


if you can swing this-ask for a late checkout.

This would be wonderful tcufrog, if you could swing it.

And help you get through your sinus infection too.

 

[tcufrog]

I agree that kids are who they are as far as personality wise. But the food preference is not a valid correlation to a natural human developmental stage like puberty. Just because one child likes to eat broccoli and one child likes to eat chicken nuggets doesn't mean they both can't eat broccoli. Food is a non-negotiable aspect in child rearing because it is much too important for their brain development and their physical well-being. A child being grouchy during puberty and not wanting to take the trash out, is not going to physically affect them the rest of their lives like improper nutrition during their formative years. So yes everybody can have their preferences but I don't see puberty as the same thing as hey I just like to eat mac and cheese, since every human likes some foods and dislikes others that's not a child specific thing.

We did insist on DS10 eating and trying new foods. Sometimes it felt like a nightly battle at the dinner table but we kept at it. He’s much adventurous now. He always loved broccoli though.

 

[EACarlson]

chardonnay and chicken tenders, alone watching a pay per view movie at the holiday inn express that was a few blocks from our then home. dh stayed at home with the kids. no one to deal with, no one to interrupt my tv or my sleep. best sleep i had in ages. it was like hitting a reset button.

I do this at least once a year for my wife. I send her two towns over to a hotel for the night, tell her she's not allowed in the house for 24 hours, go to target or kohl's or wherever and do whatever you want to do for the night. The boy's and I will eat pizza rolls and watch Pokemon movies all night while you're gone. She always comes back much happier. And she gets to have a guilt free foodie dinner that none of the rest of us really care for.

So now you all have TERRIFIED of what awaits me. ;-) My oldest is 8. Already with the moods. Other is 4 and is a whole household to herself. It feels like you need 4 adults to keep up with her. Guess I better buckle up, stop yelling, and just "let it go."

My oldest is 9 and acts like a teenager already. The number of fights I have to have over him watching Minecraft videos on YouTube...

 

[tcufrog]

I've been thinking about what ya'll said and what I can do to simplify things. This year, instead of a Christmas dinner, we're going to do a fun Christmas brunch. We're still working on the menu, so far we'll have a cheese plate, DS10 will be in charge of the hot chocolate bar and DS14 will be in charge of the waffle bar. DS10 makes great hot chocolate and DS14 is the best in the family at using the waffle maker. I'm going to serve the food on nice plastic plates so that I have less cleanup. My DH and I cook holiday meals together but it's still a lot of work, even though the kids help more these days. Hopefully, less cooking will allow for more relaxation. For dinner, we'll do appetizers from Trader Joe's. My hope is to have little cleanup on Boxing Day so I can focus on packing.

Instead of doing personal gifts for each teacher, I decided to do the same thing for each one (the kids have a ridiculous number of teachers when you include band and sports) and the kids will be in charge of assembling them.

Yesterday, we took the kids to a huge mall about an hour away and they got almost all of their Christmas shopping done.

For some me time, I scheduled a few lunches with friends before the kids get out of school.

I'm feeling a little less stressed now but still tired.