Bringing uninvited guest to a party. Am I wrong?

[sha_lyn]

Only time I can really think of was DS Bday several yrs ago at a skating rink.
2 Moms actually dropped their much younger daughters off at the party. I had no idea that were going to do so. I ended up spending my DS's entire party babysitting these 2 girls instead of taking pictures, skating etc. DH was out of state (or out of the country) with he reserve unit. I was tempted to tell the skating rink to call CPS to say these 2 girls were dropped of without an adult

 

[Alicnwondrln]

I would never bring an uninvited guest

 

[DisneyPhD]

I think it happens a lot, but can sometimes be ok, others not at all. It really depends on the type of party and age of the kids. In that case it was just plan rude. No getting around it.

If the child has a sibling that is invited, I will tell them or give them an invite too (and have.)

The only one that really bugged me was my DD's best friends older brother. The reason it buggs me is this kid pretty much ignores DD and just plays with her toys over here, could care less about her. He won't even say hi to her on the playground at the school they both go to. I didn't have a gift bag for him and it was problem.

Once at a pizza play place a friends big sister wanted to come. Her father brought her and they ordered there own pizza, sat apart and did there own thing. I did insist they come over and have cake and hang with us, I do not think they were rude at all.

Last brithday party (6) one of my DD's friends little sister ended up staying since the friend didn't want mom to leave. I did say it was fine and encourged her to. We didn't have a gift bag for her, but we did give her some extra toys and find a art project for her. She was around my youngest DD's age so she had someone to play with. Still if you know ahead of time it makes planning so much easier.

Dropping off older kids with out warning is just plan rude. Parents sticking aorund because the invited kid doesn't want them to leave (when they are young) and they have young sib along is fine, as long as they don't expect any favors for the younger child.

I agree the parent who brought the sibling just wanted free child care. They should bring 2 gifts also!

 

[barkley]

I think it happens a lot, but can sometimes be ok, others not at all. It really depends on the type of party and age of the kids. In that case it was just plan rude. No getting around it.


I agree the parent who brought the sibling just wanted free child care. They should bring 2 gifts also!

hey, it's rare that even when both sibs are invited that they both bring a gift. my kids have both been invited to the same parties on multiple occasions, and the parents always seem shocked when they both walk in with a gift while we might give a single 'family' gift to a family member, it would never occur to me if both my kids are invited for them not to each bring something.

 

[sha_lyn]

hey, it's rare that even when both sibs are invited that they both bring a gift. my kids have both been invited to the same parties on multiple occasions, and the parents always seem shocked when they both walk in with a gift while we might give a single 'family' gift to a family member, it would never occur to me if both my kids are invited for them not to each bring something.
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The only exception is that for some close family friends I end up buying one bigger item (a large wooden train set for example) instead of 2 gifts. These are kids I would normally spend a little more on anyway. Normally I'll spend about $15 on present(ie a classmate, team-mate etc), or $20 if it is someone we really know. I'll spend $25 on kids who are really more like family. When the both kids, or the whole family is invited to a party for someone like that, I'll spend $40-50.

 

[stargrazer]

Around here people would think you were rude for not including ALL their kids. Wish I was kidding but I'm not. I've had parents tell me flat out if all the kids can't come then none can.

I've never ever ever ever had a party where many of the parents don't stay, and at LEAST two or three kids brings siblings - even neighbors!

But the topping on the cake is a good one; there's a lady down the street I don't know at ALL, but she has a granddaughter a couple years younger than my DD. The girls don't play together, but one day out of the blue she stopped at my house with the girl and demanded to see my DD. I said she was at a birthday party; the lady straightaway says to me, "is it the one down the street? Because I can take 'grandaughter' down there and drop her off."


So...a lady I don't even know wants to drop her grandaugher off at a party my DD was invited to??



Amazing, isn't it?

 

[C.Ann]

Extremely rude..

 

[Amlee]

I know what you're saying and recognize that you have a valid point (and agree with the sentiment), but here in the deep south that just wasn't going to happen!

Oh, I don't know. This Southern Belle wouldn't have a problem is saying something!

 

[mmcguire]

It's rude to bring uninvited guests, but it's the parent's rudeness; not the child's, so I don't take it out on them. Some parents sieze any chance to dump their kids off on someone else for a while. The child is probably already embarassed and feels awkward because they don't know anyone. Treating them like an outcast and leaving them out at goody bag time is punishing the wrong person.

DS invited a brother/sister in the neighborhood, and the mom felt it was OK to also drop off his cousins who were visiting from out of town, and their DD's friend who had spent the night. Another time two different parents brought their child's sibling (who had never met my child). Like others, I had just enough goody bags made up, but fortunately, I had some extra empties, so I discreetly redistributed the goodies so everybody got something.

 

[kribit]

It's rude, I wouldn't do it but it's been done to me so I always have extra on hand. It's usually my husbands family that calls and says "so and so is over, I'm sure you won't mind if they tag along right." Sure, I accept you are rude...why the heck not?!?! Bring an army.

Isn't that sad?

 

[KariC]

This scares me! We've taken the past 2 years off for b-day parties (did WDW for b-day #3, and went to a Children's Museum as a family for #4), and I plan on doing a party for the twins' whole class this fall (thinking about a pirate and princess party.....).

We've had several invites this year for one or the other twin. And EVERY mom has called to say, "Oh, go ahead and bring DD. She might be the only girl...." or "Bring DS, the girls all love him, too". Well, needless to say, we haven't done it. Kids need to learn that sometimes they are not "entitled" to go to a party just because their sib is going. And everytime they've both been invited, they each take their own gift...with one exception where THEY decided to pool their money to buy a bigger gift.

 

[Limmer]

It truly is mind blowing how rude people are. My friend had her son's 5th birthday at a bowling place. 5 kids who RSVP'd yes did not show up. She still had to pay for them. What are the chances all 5 had a family emergency?

I had a family RSVP for 2 to my wedding and call the day before and ask if they could bring their 5 kids. I said no as they RSVP's for 2 not 7, numbers were already in to the caterer. They brought them anyway!! I was so po'd. That was 5 extra meals I had to pay for at a sit down dinner and I had told them no.

 

[DisneyBeagle]

It truly is mind blowing how rude people are. My friend had her son's 5th birthday at a bowling place. 5 kids who RSVP'd yes did not show up. She still had to pay for them. What are the chances all 5 had a family emergency?

I had a family RSVP for 2 to my wedding and call the day before and ask if they could bring their 5 kids. I said no as they RSVP's for 2 not 7, numbers were already in to the caterer. They brought them anyway!! I was so po'd. That was 5 extra meals I had to pay for at a sit down dinner and I had told them no.

That's just rude that they would invite their kids even after you told them no.

 

[Beth76]

At my son's party this year we paid for up to 15 kids, whether we had that many or not. We had fewer than 15 kids and I invited one of the older siblings to stay because he looked really interested in it (it was a TKD party). I know the dad got in trouble from the mom about that and I had to tell her that I absolutely insisted that he stay and that it wasn't an imposition.

We had a small wedding with limited seating available. A few weeks before our wedding DH's boss (whom he wasn't close to) said that his wife was upset that they weren't invited. DH had only met the wife a couple of times. We hadn't invited them because of the limited seating and the wedding was 2 hours away. And DH was leaving this job before the wedding. Well we ended having a place to squeeze them in so we invited them. They responded that they would come and the never showed up! We never saw or heard from them again.

 

[daipp]

When it was my DD7 party in March we had 40 children invited and 37 advised us that they would be coming and we catered accordingly.

However on the day one mother turned-up with the invited child and asked could her 8 year old son stay and also the 6 year old who is in a wheelchair. I would have said "no" but my DW Helen graiciously said "yes". At that point the mother started to walk out - she actually expected us to look after all of her children as well as attending to the needs of her disabled child. I as furious.

The icing on the cake for this one was that this was the only guest not to give a present

David

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I guess I can see both sides of this. While I would never bring all of my children to a party they weren't invited to, if someone didn't have a babysitter I would never mind them bringing siblings. I even tell the Moms that they are welcome to bring their other kids if they have nobody to watch them. We are pretty lucky in that most of the time all of our kids are invited to the same party. If they aren't then we make plans for one of us to take the invited child to the party. I would like to add that I do not understand people getting steamed over parents staying. I would not leave my 5 year old at a party. I don't know every parent that well and especially in a public venue that would never happen. Where I live all the parents stay. I don't have a problem getting a few extra pizzas for the parents and/siblings. I also don't understand not having extra cupcakes. How do you make 12 cupcakes? The box makes at least 20. As far as goody bags, I usually have more than enough so it usually isn't a problem. I guess while I would be annoyed if someone dropped off their kid and 20 of their friends but if they had no babysitter and were staying for the party I don't have a problem with it. Life is short. I try to celebrate it. JMHO.

 

[sha_lyn]

I also don't understand not having extra cupcakes. How do you make 12 cupcakes? The box makes at least 20. As far as goody bags, I usually have more than enough so it usually isn't a problem

You can buy them by the dozen, or if you buy a 1 layer mix it will only make 10-12

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You can buy them by the dozen, or if you buy a 1 layer mix it will only make 10-12

I never even knew that. You learn something new every day!

 

[Katy Belle]

Wow! This thread is bringing back many memories. I have 3 boys, oldest one is 12, so I've thrown lots of kids parties! Usually we do not have trouble with uninvited guests, but it has happened a few times. The year DS was turning 6 he had a new boy in his class who lived nearby. DS was invited to this child's party the weekend before, so we reciprocated an invitation before attending his party...does that make sense?? Anyway...we gave the invitation, then attended his party. WOAH. These people were NOT like conservative little me! They had video games rated M as part of the entertainment. The mom and the girlfriend were at the party and the kids were to be quiet because Dad was sleeping...during the party, at 2p.m. Anyway...we'd already given the invitation and I was ok with DS playing with the kid. Fastforward to my son's party. This child brings his sister, she was probably 11. I told her she could stay, but she would be my helper. It went OK, she behaved herself fairly well. At Goody Bag time I didn't have enough for her and she was mad! AND...no gift from them, they could have given us back the $20 we gave him last weekend! AND we caught the little boy stealing DSs pokemon cards at the end of the party! Yikes. They moved a few months later.

Yesterday was my middle son's 10th birthday party! No univited guest! When DS handed out the invitations one little girl did ask DS if she could bring her brother. I told him NO, if everyone brought a brother we'd have 26 instead of 13 guests. He understood but didn't want to tell her No. I told him to just not say anything and if she asked again he could say yes, but I didn't think she would ask again. She didn't, she came alone and had a fantastic time!

Katy

 

[BMNABrinx]

Last Aug. DD handed out invitations for her b-day party. We only invite a few girls and plan for who we invite. One of the mother's called to see if she could bring the older sister! UH, NO! I just told her "Sorry, Aly made out her guest list and she invited the girls from her class. We have everything prepared so it won't work out to have an extra." Once the girls got there, the one who's mother called said "Thank You" a million times. My daughter doesn't really care for the older sister so there was no way I was going to let her come and spoil her birthday party. I also make a note on the invitation that the kids can be dropped of at the party at ?? time and must be picked up by ?? time. So far, no uninvited guests and no guest parents. Thank goodness!
When I take DD to a party I usually ask if I need to stay or what time I should come back.