Brian's Back.........

[DanenRox]

Keep in mind, I'm not Brian, but as his advocate I will say...Brian likes comedy.
Further, he likes to laugh, he's got a good laugh, he makes others laugh. He's got a pretty clean sense of humor. He's not big on the foul language. I, on the other hand, am fluent in both the English and Foul languages.

 

[ro80]

You just continue to make me LMAO !! I am having so much fun with this!!

 

[DanenRox]

Since the bachelorettes seem more interested in small appliances than our Brian, I thought it appropriate to discuss the similarities between a toaster and Brian.
Both are...
Solid.
Sturdy.
Reliable.
Shiney (I mentioned thinning hair right?).
Easy to clean.
Low maintenance.
May leave a crumbly mess.
Good to give at Christmas or Birthdays.
Can be hidden in closets when company comes over...
Or may be left out in open to proudly display.
Once you have, you'll wonder how you ever went without.
Makes delicious snack treats.
Provides sustenance for the heart and soul.

 

[ImprovGal]

Since the bachelorettes seem more interested in small appliances than our Brian, I thought it appropriate to discuss the similarities between a toaster and Brian.
Both are...
Solid.
Sturdy.
Reliable.

So far so good...

Shiney (I mentioned thinning hair right?).

Bah! No biggee. Sunglasses reduce the glare. My brother doesn't even have a receding hairline; he's got an overly ambitious rapidly advancing forehead.

Easy to clean.
Low maintenance.
May leave a crumbly mess.
Good to give at Christmas or Birthdays.

I have to wait until Christmas?

Can be hidden in closets when company comes over...

Uh-oh!!! Um.. I'm not really looking for a guy who's in the closet. (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Or may be left out in open to proudly display.
Once you have, you'll wonder how you ever went without.
Makes delicious snack treats.
Provides sustenance for the heart and soul.

Then why the heck are the three of you getting out of WDW to go to Daytona just in time for the start of the Food & Wine Festival at Epcot???????????????

As for the Brian vs. the toaster comparisons....
How come you omitted "may pop up at any time when turned on"?????

-- ImprovGal (my standup's pretty clean, but I can't vouch for my improv)

 

[DanenRox]

OHHHH, that's a good one. I'm actually working on the "why Brian is BETTER than a toaster list". Re: Food and Wine Festival: Truth is, we don't know anything about it. I hear good things, and I know it's popular, and that's about all. Keep in mind, we started traveling in September for low crowds. If the Festival bumps up the head count substantially, it'll be a hard sell.

 

[DanenRox]

I'm having trouble with my list, can you help? Here's what I have so far...

WHY BRIAN IS BETTER THAN A TOASTER​

• He doesn't need to be carried.
• Doesn't set off smoke detector when working too hard. (I don't think)
• Is safe to bathe with.

And that's all I've got so far.

 

[ImprovGal]

I'm having trouble with my list, can you help? Here's what I have so far...

WHY BRIAN IS BETTER THAN A TOASTER​

• He doesn't need to be carriend.
• Doesn't set off smoke detector when working too hard. (I don't think)
• Is safe to bath with.

And that's all I've got so far.

Gosh.. I'd like to help you, but how can I when I've never met him????

-- ImprovGal (Did I mention I'm single and in RI???)

 

[ro80]

He doesn't need an outlet to plug him in.
He is self cleaning (or he just might want the help)
Doesn't take up any counter space
Brian has a good personality - toasters just don't have one

I'm thinking Rox.......
P.S. I'll be at Lynda's at 6:00 - maybe I'll pop over!!

 

[DanenRox]

WHY BRIAN IS BETTER THAN A TOASTER​

Your friends won't have one just like it.

 

[DanenRox]

ImprovGirl- Single, funny, from RI....now I'm scared. Looks like I'm going to have to tell Brian what I've been up to, that's step one. Then I might have to just leave this thread in his hands. Oh Boy.

 

[pezheadmeg]

Now does Brian clean-up after himself? I know toasters dont' clean-up their crumbs.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

ImprovGirl- Single, funny, from RI....now I'm scared. Looks like I'm going to have to tell Brian what I've been up to, that's step one. Then I might have to just leave this thread in his hands. Oh Boy.

Danen... you sound like a really nice guy who wants his friend to find a woman with whom he can be happy... but... honestly... how do you know about the bathing thing?

Now... my DBF and I don't know Brian... but as my DBF just said... 'if he's a sox fan, he's good people'

PS - I can already picture Brian hitting his head against the wall, exclaiming, "this is NOT my life!" when you DO tell him what you've been up to... just sayin... lol

 

[abeyst]

This post is cracking me up!! Oh, I hope Brian enjoys everyone fighting over him (and that you don't need to add livestock to the deal to get women interested!!)

He sounds like an awesome catch. (And another vote her for sexy bald guys! ) Can you post a pic?

Single and 32 here in Michigan. Just in case the ones in RI don't work out!! I'll be going in August, though. But I am an Annual Passholder!!

 

[dakyak]

This is really funny

Got a good chuckle about this
So hope my parents don't see this...they may get ideas!

 

[pezheadmeg]

Can Brian make the toast and milk the goat?

Does he even like goats?

 

[Shagley]

He won't short circuit and burn down the house (hopefully - I have a cousin who short circuited and burned down her house, but that is a totally different thread)!!

So, Rox, does Brian have any clue about this thread yet ??

I have a feeling that I am out of the bidding, since you have found some great women for Brian who actually live closer to him. It doesn't surprise me, as I stated earlier, I am a horrible pimp (maybe because I don't have a big, furry purple hat - all reputable pimps have a big purple hat). I have already accepted the fact and bought my own toaster oven (Linens and Things is having a great sale right now). I also have come to terms with the fact that I will never own any goats, and I am saving $ to buy my own snow cone - heck, I might even buy Joy a snow cone to make up for the fact that I almost sold her for kitchen appliances and livestock.

Shelley

 

[DanenRox]

Shells,
I thought we lost you! Welcome back. Brian does not yet know about this innocent, well-meaning, all in good fun thread that somehow got started. I know though, the time has come to have Brian meet all of you. Of course, I'll have to get him drunk before I tell him. He should be flattered, right? We all spoke so highly of him, right? We did finally decide that Brian was BETTER than a toaster. OK, here's the plan, Tuesday night we'll have him over, and I'll come clean. Buckle up kids, this is were the ride gets interesting.

 

[ro80]

ooh ooh can I come over????? please please???? maybe I can be the moderator?????

 

[Shagley]

Is tonight the big night??

 

[DanenRox]

The call has been placed, with a message left on Brian's voice mail at work. If he show up tonight, he'll find out tonight.

Just found out, Brian will be by tonight. OK kids, it's go time.