Breathing life into old church

[Belle2667]

Hi. I am a life-long member of our church. We have a dwindling membership and the average age of our parishioner is about 65. We currently have one traditional Sunday service. While I love our service, we realize that if we do not reach out and provide something younger (under 50) people would come to, our end is drawing near.

Therefore, I want to know what appeals to people regarding worship services. I would like to create a service that people would want.

If you go to church, what about your service draws you in and keeps you coming? If you don’t go to church, what type of worship service would make you want to go to church?

I appreciate all opinions.

 

[Frantasmic]

Why does your church have youth flight (the young people who have grown up in the congregation have left)? I know not everyone stays around their homestead anymore, but it would seem you'd have some who do.

What type of youth program do you have from K-12? In many churches, if you grab the youth, they bring their parents.

Split-contemporary/traditional services work in many churches.

How much local outreach/missions type work does your church perform?

 

[golfgal]

What denomination? That makes a big difference.

I will tell you what I don't like about our church, our priest scolds everyone in every sermon--the sermon should be there to TEACH, not scold those that are IN CHURCH and GO TO CHURCH about how bad it is that people don't go to church .

I like the more upbeat music, our priest would prefer everything to be Gregorian Chant . We have this phenomenal choir and he won't let them do anything too "fancy".

Basically we need a new priest. The new assignments come out around April so we are HOPING we get someone new.

Honestly, it comes from the top down, if your priest is good, open, upbeat, etc. the rest of the parish follows.


The church I grew up in had a different style of mass for each mass time. The early mass was very traditional and no music, the middle mass was fairly traditional with the full choir, traditional music and the late mass was very contemporary. It gave people a choice of which style they prefer.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I agree with grabbing the attention of the young families. What I love most about our church is that it has a great children's Mass. We have a large children's choir that does a mix of traditionally beautiful and more childlike songs. And Father ___ gets the other kids out of their seats and up front 3 times - once for the homily, once for the children's collection, and again when he blesses the communion wafers. It really helps keep them involved and comfortable... and happy kids = happy parents.

 

[clarabelle]

The biggest thing that draws me in is community. Feeling like I am part of one and wanting my children to have that as well.

You could try an alternative contemporary service in addition to your traditional one. Choices.

Our church doesn't -but we accept that because of that are numbers will be smaller.

 

[minkydog]

I agree with others who say reach out to families.That's where your growth is. But first you need to figure out why you *don't* have families now so you can correct that. I doubt it is as simple as changing up the worship service. Is there a vital children's program? Is there any excitement in the youth department? Are you doing *any* community service? All the "fancy" trappings of worship will not overcome the lack of outreach.

Our church went through a terrible split about 16 years ago. Worst thing I have ever witnessed. And it has taken about 12 years to rebuild. One of the best things our leadership did was go out into the community and make a presense, not to drum up new business for the church but just to show Christ's love. They have served breakfast to teachers at an elementary school, brought in spaghetti and pizza for the HS basketball team, painted walls and planted bushes at another school, and taken Vacation Bible School into less affluent neighborhoods where most of the families don't drive. Once we started doing these things not only did the community look on with interest but even our congregation began to perk up and volunteer.

Everyone wants to be part of something growing. Your church will only grow if the congregation is willing to step out of their comfort zone, provide activities for the little children, welcome the teens with wild music & pink hair, encourage the single and divorced parents and actively take care of their elders. THey have to open their ears and eyes to a different way of doing things.

 

[lspst8]

Does your church have a youth pastor? Any type of youth group at all? I quit going to church after 8th grade because there was really nothing for high schoolers to do. The youth group was pathetic, and the church didn't have a dynamic youth leader. My younger sister went to a different church's youth group with a friend, and she really liked it. She started going to all the youth activities and wanting to go to that church's Sunday services. Eventually we all switched over to the new church and have been going there about 10 years now. They have had many different youth pastors, but all but one have been really active and engaging. The one who wasn't that great didn't last too long - he returned to his prior job as an accountant!

Right now, our church has 4 services (I think we have about 800 official members, and a lot more people attend haven't taken the membership class). Two are contemporary (11am Sunday and Saturday evening) with a praise band and contemporary Christian music. The 8am service is quite traditional, and the 9:30 has a traditional choir and does some modern music too. The church just build this beautiful children's wing that is really cool.

My sister just moved to DC, and she and her husband are going to a church that meets at a movie theater! Even though the church doesn't have a traditional building, it has lots of activities for members and an interesting pastor. It may be even harder to draw new members to an older, established church. She went to a Christian college, and it seems all of her friends go to modern churches that aren't found in the center of town in a big stone church. It's just easier for a new person to walk into a movie theater, coffee shop, or new church in the suburbs with basketball courts and children's wings.

 

[jen0610]

Neither DH or I are Methodist, but this is our church of choise because they get that there is more than 1 target group to keep them going and growing as a church.

www.stjoemin.com

The church that I grew up in, is dying and they either don't care that within ten years the church will not be there or no one can agree on what changes to make, so none are done, or the "money" of the church don't like the proposed changes - pitch a fit (I won't leave the church my money. Heard this myself from one of the older members) so the ideas get nixed. They just had to hire a new minister, two years ago. They once again went with a minister nearing 60. She's great for those her age and older, but for those my age, 40+ w/teens and those younger families, she just doesn't cut it.

The church thrived during my youth. And a lot of it had to do, because we had a minister in his early 40's, with teen and younger kids. He connected with all the levels. He was there for 15 years before taking a job with the churches state central office. The youth of the church - both kids and adults - were active in all the programs. We use to have two different youth groups - middle school and high school with 20-30 kids in each. Now they are lucky to have 6 to 7 in one combined group.

 

[emma'smom]

We definitely go because of the activities for our children and for families. In this, younger families (preschoolers/grade schoolers). They also have a youth program, but that is a bit smaller.

We have a family fellowship that meets once a month (every other month includes kids/the other month, child care is provided at the church for the kids) and includes a wide-variety of activities (ie. holiday party, Amazing Race Game, Game night, Margarita Night, Murder Mystery Party, etc). The emphasis is mostly on fellowship, not worship---but it has created a community (among the adults and the kids) who then come to church and Sunday school because their church friends are there.

Honestly, our minister isn't all that great---we come in spite of him! The service is ok.....and there is a time for children and activity for kids during the sermon.

 

[malibuconlee]

Some things I've noticed in our moves and in different churches...

Younger people with families gravitate to churches that have ministries geared toward them...
Mom's Day Out
MOPS groups
Preschool programs
Youth Groups for their kids
Group sports

This move our family looked at attending a church that wasn't Methodist just because of the ministries available. However in the end my husband doesn't like going to church and feeling like he's at a concert with the band leader leading the service, or being given a paper to take notes on during the service.

The church we went to in Kansas was an older church, but in the last 10 years or so there was a movement by the younger people in the church to start up children's programs again. Sunday School, Bible School, Childrens' Choir.

It does take a lot of effort to get programs started and the ones using the services have to take an active interest in starting and maintaining the programs. I have no idea how you would go about starting these up, but I can say I totally understand where you are coming from. good luck

 

[EdiePA]

There is a lot of information on "growing" churches -- most denominations have a plan for this.

The number one thing for me is friendliness. I know the church I attend to sing in choir "thinks" it is friendly, but it really isn't. It takes more than one or two people -- and the minister has to be invested, too.

I think greeting people as they come in, making sure they know the lay-out of the church (bathrooms, etc.) and introducing them to other people is important to foster community. You also have to make sure that your long-time members are willing to step out of their cliques. (In the church I mentioned above, this doesn't happen and newbies are basically shunned or ignored.)

Finding ways to pull new people into the community of your church is vital.

Edie

 

[Angelhalo]

OP we have three services. 8:20 is Contemporary. We sing a lot of music that you hear on the contemporary Christian music stations like Jeremy Camp, Third Day, Natalie Grant, Avalon, etc. There is a praise band rather than a choir. We have drums, guitars, piano, saxaphones etc. There is a 5 minute children's sermon during the worship service wherein small children come to the alter and sit and listen to a short sermon just for them. Then they leave and go to children's church and the adult sermon commences. It is casual. The preacher is like a friend teaching us, he doesn't wear a suit and he is very friendly.

At 9:20 we have an ultra contemporary service called "The Grove". They have a more rock band kind of atmosphere. Lots of lighting like a rock show, hard guitars, really jamming out. This service is VERY casual and more geared toward new believers and a younger crowd.

Then at 11am we have a traditional service where the pastor wears his robes. This crowd is much older. They have a choir and sing mostly hyms.

Our church offers a lot of children's programs throughout the week which has brought a lot of new families into the church. On Wednesdays they do Wednesday Night Alive where there is free dinner and then discipleship classes for every age group from children to adults. There is also a free nursery available for babies and infants.

I think in order to revitalize a church there has to be a lot going on. If there aren't lots of options for things to do, then there isn't anything for people to get involved with, so they don't come.

 

[Belle2667]

OP here. Sorry, this is long.

We are Lutheran, though I really don't think that matters much. We might be a little more reserved during worship than some other denominations, but we are looking at doing what people want rather than keeping things they way they've always been.

I've always been active in my church. My children do not have a choice and must attend and be active until they go to college. They know this and do not usually give me a hard time and are really quite involved in activities. After college, the know what my hopes are, but they are on their own to decide what church they want to attend.

Unfortunately, many parents are not willing to make the choice to make church a priority for their children and I believe that is the biggest reason our church is dwindling. Sure, we get some people back (after disappearing during college) when they get married and have kids, but not too many. How do you compete with youth sports that are on Sunday mornings? (I told our coaches to count us out.) How do you get parents out of bed when Sunday is their only day to sleep? (I'd love to sleep, too, but church is more important to me.)

I teach Sunday School (we have 25 kids total from age 3 through grade 12) and we try to make it as exciting as possible. We've even tried bribing kids and parents to bring friends (not exactly the right thing to do but I was a little desperate.)

Every year, I try running youth group type activities and after several months of 2 or 3 kids showing, I give up. The one youth activity we are somewhat successful at is the 30 Hour famine (we usually get about 10 kids for that, but our school district also has a 60 hour community service requirement and doing this famine is 1/2 the requirement.)

Our church does do outreach and we offer some community services, but we have a very small core of volunteers (ages 40 - 70) that participate and it often feels like we take advantage of them.

We are also in an area that has at least 5 Lutheran churches in close proximity, and we are all experiencing the same thing. We'd like to be the one that breaks the pattern and starts to increase our membership by offering what people want.

As far as friendliness, we get visitors often and I think we are sometimes overly-friendly scare people off. We actually need to tone that down a bit because we look too desperate.

Thankfully, we have a great Pastor who does great sermons, so we have that base covered. His sermons relate to today's world and he interacts well with all the age groups. As far as a specific youth pastor, I'm the closest we get (and I just have a heart to work with the youth, I'm not officially "trained").

The suggestions I've received so far are great and are on par with my line of thinking. Thanks!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am a strong, but non-churchgoing, Christian.

I recently had a Christian acquaintance come to me with this exact situation.

My take on your situation is this:

When you describe your church, what comes to mind as 'The Church Lady' (Dana Carvey)

Seriously, I don't think you have to have bands, and ballyhoo, every Sunday, to have a well rounded Christian congregation.
I don't think it is about 'giving people what they want'.

But, IMHO, it is the underlying 'attitude' that is what counts.

Instead of the words of Christ, in most churches, it is all about what everyone is doing wrong, negativity, earn-your-way-to-heaven, denominational 'dogma', judgementalness, etc.. etc... etc... None of which is what true Christianity is all about.

On the complete other hand, the church where I met my husband, (many years ago) Had a dynamic pastor who truly preached the 'Word'... The 'Gospel'... No personal judgements or condemnations.. No telling everybody how lame they are, what they are doing wrong, how much MORE they need to do and give, etc.. No church 'dogma'... Just the unadulterated word of the Scriptures. (do not add one jot or tittle...) The Church doubled the congregation right away.

The church should not be about gimmicks and 'entertainment' any more than it should be about condemnation....

I don't think it is about 'giving the people what they want'
Christianity is about the Gospel of Christ, which is what people NEED.

The Scriptures, and Worship, and the fellowship of Christians, is what church should be all about. I have seen the good Lord bless this before... And I believe that He will always bless this, whenever possible.

 

[ckay87]

How do you compete with youth sports that are on Sunday mornings? (I told our coaches to count us out.) How do you get parents out of bed when Sunday is their only day to sleep? (I'd love to sleep, too, but church is more important to me.)

Here is what I wonder....Why does church have to be on a Sunday morning? Tradition? Well, times change and perhaps some traditions could be broken in order to boost membership. I'd be willing to bet that a Sunday evening worship service would bring in lots of your sleepers. I'll go ahead and be the only one willing to admit that I don't make it to church for this reason.

 

[castleview]

About five years ago, I went on a church search since my oldest was starting Kindergarten. Being raised by a Catholic and Episcopalian, I wasn't that eager. The pastor at the church I grew up in (where my mom is Sunday School director) was notorious for angry rants and hoisting committee positions on brand new members. Ironically, they are having the same problem as you. The average age is about 65 and they maybe get in five kids a week for Sunday School.

What keeps me at the Congregational Church we attend is the overall positive (and guiltless) atmosphere. Our pastor gives very uplifting realistic sermons that don't condemn others. The services (only one at 10:00 while the kids are at Sunday School) are concise and simple. They rarely go past 50-60 minutes. They make sure not too much is going on in one day and when we have communion, baptism, mission description, etc., the sermon is shortened so people don't get overwhelmed. Most importantly, if we miss a day or more, no one is judging us or making comments about us missing church.

It's not all perfect. Everyone has their days and every church has a holier-than-thou eager beaver in the crowd. But our church keeps growing because it's not intimidating and demanding. It helps to have a likable pastor also. Also we are one of only two churches in town - so it's Catholic or not basically!

Many won't agree with this but I think when people are looking for a new church they don't want a huge commitment. They want to ease into a church and not be bombarded with lengthy services or judgmental people who believe this is how things "are supposed to be." New members need time to adjust before they take on more commitments to the Church. Above all, they need a service and sermon that won't turn them off.

 

[brerrabbit]

Our church is Methodist and has been around for over 100 years. We have grown and adapted over the years. We have three services. 8:15 is traditional while at 10:30 we have a traditional service in our sactuary and a contemporary service in our Family Life Center. Basically its a gym with a stage. THey have a praise band and sing contemprary music. Since we are converted Catholics we go to the 10:30 traditional and I sing in the Choir and do Lay Reading.

A lot of the focus by a lot of churches in our area lately has been to reach out to the younger people and families by offering more contemporary services that are casual, less formal and the message each week focuses more on a "feel good" sermon than sciptural. Another trick they are using is that the different denominations are not putting their name on the churches. For example when we reformed out Texas Annual Conferances we had a dedication service for the 70 odd Methodist churches in our district at a local church. When we went there we noticed that nowhere on the sign, and no where in the church itself did it say it was a Methodist church. The entrance, or lobby if you will was huge with flat panel TV's and a Starbucks in it. The only services they offered were conteporary and unless you poked around you would never know it was a Methodist Church. In our area there are several mega churches that operate the same way but upon doing some research you will find they are Methodist, Baptist, and Episcopal. I think these are all responses to the Mega church of all mega churches in Houston, Lakewood who holds their services in the Summit, which is the arena where the Houston Rockets basketball team used to play. It seats over 16,000 people and is close to full every week. It is also televised across the country and their minister Joel Osteen is not even an ordained Minister. His sermons as well as his books are more about self help than the gospel most of the time.

We have been able to maintain our church by adding the comtemporary service, having a Methodist daycare (which is very popular in our community), a strong children and youth program, and still maintaining good programs for the older members as well. That and the fact that we live in one of the fastest growing areas in the country. Pearland in the 15 years we have lived here has grown from 22,000 residents to almost 100,000.

 

[castleview]

OP here. Sorry, this is long.


I've always been active in my church. My children do not have a choice and must attend and be active until they go to college. They know this and do not usually give me a hard time and are really quite involved in activities. After college, the know what my hopes are, but they are on their own to decide what church they want to attend.

Unfortunately, many parents are not willing to make the choice to make church a priority for their children and I believe that is the biggest reason our church is dwindling. Sure, we get some people back (after disappearing during college) when they get married and have kids, but not too many. How do you compete with youth sports that are on Sunday mornings? (I told our coaches to count us out.) How do you get parents out of bed when Sunday is their only day to sleep? (I'd love to sleep, too, but church is more important to me.)

I teach Sunday School (we have 25 kids total from age 3 through grade 12) and we try to make it as exciting as possible. We've even tried bribing kids and parents to bring friends (not exactly the right thing to do but I was a little desperate.)


!

Unfortunately unwilling parents and youth sports are something you have to deal with. I don't like it either and very rarely will my kids miss church over a game or party. Even though we start Sunday School in September, about 20-30 kids do Pop Warner football and cheerleading and don't return until November. Our church does not make a big deal of this and reject/chastise these kids or else we will lose these children/families. It stinks, but you don't really have an option.

Also, how much "study or practice" does it take to for kids to be involved. The kids who do acolyte duty in our church basically lead the choir and light the candles at the beginning of the service and then go to Sunday School. At the church I grew up in, I spent weeks studying and practicing for that. When it was my turn, I had to miss Sunday School. That eventually led to a lot of kids doing acolytes but never going to SS.

Honestly, I think keeping it simple and not making everything a huge deal/commitment is what people want. It sounds pathetic, but it's true.

BTW, I am very impressed with how much you do! Hopefully, a young child coming through the system will have a mother or father that may want to take over some of those things.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I've always been active in my church. My children do not have a choice and must attend and be active until they go to college. They know this and do not usually give me a hard time and are really quite involved in activities. After college, the know what my hopes are, but they are on their own to decide what church they want to attend.

Unfortunately, many parents are not willing to make the choice to make church a priority for their children

Sorry, I mean no disrespect or personal attack... but, when reading the above comments... all I could do was think 'Church Lady'.

I believe I am getting underlying negative judgemental vibes about 'lame parents who don't do as I think they should...' 'MY children do not have a choice", etc....

People should 'DO more' and 'GIVE more', etc....

Again, I get the whole 'Church Lady' vibe when it comes to the way you have described your church, and some other comments.

I would be afraid that if I am picking this up from a few online comments, that this vibe is very clear and obvious IRL.

I am not thinking that this is the way to grow a church.

 

[dislal]

Hi. I am a life-long member of our church. We have a dwindling membership and the average age of our parishioner is about 65. We currently have one traditional Sunday service. While I love our service, we realize that if we do not reach out and provide something younger (under 50) people would come to, our end is drawing near.

Therefore, I want to know what appeals to people regarding worship services. I would like to create a service that people would want.

If you go to church, what about your service draws you in and keeps you coming? If you don’t go to church, what type of worship service would make you want to go to church?

I appreciate all opinions.

Wow, I could have written this. We attend a Methodist Church and we are lucky if the attendence is 15 every week. It is so sad a few young couples will come with their kids maybe once or twice a year. We have a couple who are in their 70's, a couple who are in their 60's the minister and his wife are in their 50's, my Dh and I with our kids.

I am really scared for the future of our church. I did Sunday School for awhile, but that didn't attract anyone new.

I took over the Treasurers job about 3 years ago, and the Secretary just passed away a few weeks ago, and now no one wants her job. It is just going downhill so fast.

I will be keeping an eye on this thread and hopefully get some ideas.