Breathing life into old church

[Belle2667]

WOW..is this thread ever timely! Our church is small as well (average of 6-12 people a week) and our treasurer just said our account is LOW!

Youth Group question for those who have it: how do you get kids to come? What do you do with them?

They may sound like silly questions, but we are really at a loss. The pastor would like to get kids into the church and we are having a monthly "youth night" with different activities, but they really aren't well attended. Maybe 4 or 5 kids. Game/pizza night was liked the best. We did a movie night (NOT a hit), ornament making at Christmas and a couple other things.
The problem is, the congregation is older except for 3 couples. My DH & I are one of the "younger couples" and we're in our 40's. The other 2 couples don't have kids because they don't want & can't have them.

We can't have Sunday School as there is no room in the building to have it. It is an old church and nothing in it meets the new state requirements (window on door, 2 exits, window on wall). I know they are rules for the safety of kids, but we aren't equipped to handle that. besides, we love having kids in church. I was raised that way (sitting through services) and no one minds babies crying or little ones coloring or stretching their legs.

Another problem is, the town our church is in is VERY anti-church. Only 3 or 4 people who attend are from that town. Most of the regulars don't even live in that town!

An example: the town has a "fair" once a year. The church has a food booth there. We used cards with scriptures on them for the food tickets."John 3:16 your order is ready! The town requested we not use them anymore as some people were offended by them. Hello! We are a CHURCH booth! I know they had a bad pastor years ago, but this one is good. He preaches the Bible/Word of God. That in itself is probably part of the problem. People don't want to hear about sin and right & wrong etc...They want happy services with no rules. Our services are NOT fire & brimstone, but darn it, the Bible does give rules of what is right & wrong and we need to hear it.

And I am NOT church-lady but those are the facts. Our pastor used to be a teacher so he does preach in a very teaching manner (in a good way) and is always available to anyone who needs him. At their home/hospital or whatever. I hate to see our church dying like this and have no idea how to help it.

Sorry this was so long, but it is near & dear to my heart.

Pat Fan, I have the same questions you do regarding youth groups. How do you get them to come? We usually get a few of our kids (5 is a good night), but that's the max. Even last year's Halloween Party (advertised around the neighborhood and at some of the other Lutheran churches near us) and we had a whopping 5 kids. Rock climbing night pulled out 6 kids. I even tried Wacky Wednesdays for a while but again, all the work for 3 kids is frustrating!

I always plan something fun (because if I can't get them for something fun, I'll never get them for serious stuff) with a Biblical theme, yet when you ask them, they are busy with homework or track or whatever. I've about given up hope, but after reading the responses here, focusing on the kids is a major concern for people, so maybe it's time to change my tactics.

Any ideas on how to revive a youth group?

 

[lovesmurfs]

Pat Fan, I have the same questions you do regarding youth groups. How do you get them to come? We usually get a few of our kids (5 is a good night), but that's the max. Even last year's Halloween Party (advertised around the neighborhood and at some of the other Lutheran churches near us) and we had a whopping 5 kids. Rock climbing night pulled out 6 kids. I even tried Wacky Wednesdays for a while but again, all the work for 3 kids is frustrating!

I always plan something fun (because if I can't get them for something fun, I'll never get them for serious stuff) with a Biblical theme, yet when you ask them, they are busy with homework or track or whatever. I've about given up hope, but after reading the responses here, focusing on the kids is a major concern for people, so maybe it's time to change my tactics.

Any ideas on how to revive a youth group?

The key, we're finding, is to have the teens do the work for you -- plan events that THEY invite their friends to. Maybe a gaming night, at someone's house. Saturday nights our teens meet at our leader's house and they play games and eat spaghetti, etc.--it's not necessarily "churchy", but non-churched teens are spending time and developing relationships with Christians. They have a great time, and a good turn-out. For our snowball retreat this weekend, my DS16 invited two friends (one goes to a local church, one is non-churched).

What events have the current teens indicated THEY want to invite their friends to? They need to be at the forefront of your planning, and they may come up with ideas that make you uncomfortable. Don't be afraid of uncomfortable.

Also remember that "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20).

ETA: Also, it means a lot for the youth leaders to meet the kids where they are -- going to the sporting events and band concerts -- what's important in their lives.

 

[si-am]

I guess I'm the odd one out, but I *hate* contemporary services with rock music, modern songs and casual wear. It just reminds me too much of a televangelist TV show.

I grew up in a Presbyterian Church. Not terribly conservative ideology, but definitely a conservative, traditional service.

I haven't been to church in a looooong time. My husband (who grew up Catholic) and I have been looking for a church to try-- if we ever have kids, I'd like them raised in a church-- but I seem to be having a hard time finding something traditional. Everything seems casual and contemporary now and I just don't like it!

 

[talulabelle]

Our church recently went through this, and successfully turned it around over about a 10 year time period.

First thing they did was put in an awsome nursery with paid , steady workers to make it easy for young families to worship. Then they started having fun Fri. night family dinners with speakers. The older people brought their kids and grandkids and the nursery was operating nad it gave the younger families a place to get a bite of dinner and have some adult time while the kids were in the nursery. They started great kids programs with Breakfast with Santa at Christmas, Easter egg hunt at Easter. They started a youth service with a youth band. We have a great youth minister. It takes a long term plan nad alot of committed volunteers. You need to have aservice with contemperary worship music that will draw the younger people. You need to make it an irresistable place to be for families...make it the "hot spot" on Sunday. Have a fellowship coffee and playtime for young kids after service on Sunday and young families looking for friends in the same boat as them can come to service and then stay for a donut and talk while the kids play.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I guess I'm the odd one out, but I *hate* contemporary services with rock music, modern songs and casual wear. It just reminds me too much of a televangelist TV show.

I grew up in a Presbyterian Church. Not terribly conservative ideology....

Not sure about your Presbyterian Church - But I am in the South, with very traditional conservative churches... Even in comparison, I find the Presbyterian church here to be VERY restrictive and conservative. (spoil the rod) (predestination to hell) etc... When I met a mother with whom I, and our sons, had a lot in common, I visited the church... Didn't last long.

Like I said, other than the true and uplifting Gospel being preached - I think the 'underlying attitude' of a church is key.

 

[si-am]

Not sure about your Presbyterian Church - But I am in the South, with very traditional conservative churches... Even in comparison, I find the Presbyterian church here to be VERY restrictive and conservative. (spoil the rod) (predestination to hell) etc... When I met a mother with whom I, and our sons, had a lot in common, I visited the church... Didn't last long.

Like I said, other than the true and uplifting Gospel being preached - I think the 'underlying attitude' of a church is key.

The Presbyterian Church (PCA) is far more conservative than the Presbyterian Church (USA). Not all Presbyterian churches are the same!

I agree the attitude can make or break a church.

 

[puffkin]

I am almost 30, married with 1 young son. Work FT. Grew up Lutheran and am in the same Synod as the OP. Here are my thoughts for what they are worth.

1. I prefer a traditional service. I don't like the contemporary services. I do like that our church offers both.
2. Sunday mornings are just not convenient. I would prefer an early evening service on Sundays.
3. I do not like to be preached at, but rather taught. I don't see why a service should be longer than an hour.
4. Daycare!
5. Plenty of activities for families. But don't make the people who don't attend feel ostracized either (happens at our church).
6. Have parisioners involved in the service, not just the minister preaching.
7. Do not make parisioners jump through hoops to join your church.

 

[pat fan]

is to have the teens do the work for you -- plan events that THEY invite their friends to.

What teens? There is ONE...my DS and he goes to a school over an hour away from our church. His friends from school are not going to schlep an hour for something and there are no other kids in the church. When we have a youth night I bring my niece & nephew but the mom has made it clear that fun nights are ok, but I can't bring them to actual church .

I'll just keep hitting my knees until something happens I guess

 

[desertgirl]

Or maybe, we just need to step up our faith and pray.

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head.

 

[clarabelle]

Not sure about your Presbyterian Church - But I am in the South, with very traditional conservative churches... Even in comparison, I find the Presbyterian church here to be VERY restrictive and conservative. (spoil the rod) (predestination to hell) etc... When I met a mother with whom I, and our sons, had a lot in common, I visited the church... Didn't last long.

Like I said, other than the true and uplifting Gospel being preached - I think the 'underlying attitude' of a church is key.

I am Presbyterian in the south
Not restrictive or conservative at all.

We certainly don't beat our children.

 

[Belle2667]

Also remember that "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20).

I know this quote well and it is what gets me through the low turnouts. They aren't in vain. It's just disappointing.

I will definitely poll our youth and see what they want to do. Unfortunately, my volunteer base is quite small so supporting them in their secular activities might be challenging, but probably well worth my effort.

Thanks for reminding me that even making a difference in the lives of small numbers is important.