Breastfeeding an older baby at WDW

[meandtheguys2]

Does anyone else see it as amusing that it is offensive to breastfeed a talking/walking child, but you can contaminate them with chicken nuggets and french fries to your hearts desire?

If something is offensive, I will suggest again, that no one is forcing anyone to look. Maybe I am jaded, living so close to the "country", but can't take a leisurely drive without seeing some guy whizzing in the bushes. I could choose to be offended each time, or I could go about my merry way. I see breastfeeding in the same manner. I admit, maybe it is because I have been around women who were discreet, and have never seen what some here have seen. But hookaires?

As a mom of 3 boys, they know that women have breasts, and know that they feed their babies like that. I don't want them only seen as a sexual object. Just like the rest of the "private parts." They are all multitaskers...

 

[dadtoagirl]

Simple solution. Don't watch.

Simple solution, don't flop them out in public!!

 

[GEM]

If you pay attention to your kids, they'll let you know when they're ready.

That, I totally agree with. I believe in child lead weaning. As somebody already said, the average age for that is between 3 and 4. My 27 month old has shown he is NOT ready, so I am "paying attention" to him and still nursing him once or twice a day. So, what's the problem with that? And, for the record, he's never bitten me at all. Most of the people I know who are nursing are now nursing babies with teeth with no problems at all. It just depends on baby and mom - like you said.

This is my last post here, I promise, becuase it's just getting too exhausting.

I just want to make my point clear.

I think it's fine for a mom to choose any method she wants to feed her baby. I don't think that feeding choice is the determining factor in what makes a good mom and what doesn't. Obviously, I think that breastfeeding has huge benefits, or I wouldn't have made that choice for myself - but that's the choice I made for myself, and I respect moms who choose differently.

What I don't respect is anyone who feels the need to comment on MY decision to breastfeed my child - and that includes where and how long.

Lots of you have given examples of women feeding school age children or just totally exposing their breasts while feeding their babies, etc. I think we can all agree that those are extreme situations that don't happen often. I, for one, am surrounded by breastfeeding mothers all the time and look for them when I'm out and about - and I've never encountered either. They have nothing to do with what most of us are doing.

Will I still be nursing my son when he starts kindergarten? No, I won't. He will naturally have outgrown it by then. Even now he really only nurses at bedtime and in the morning, so we almost never nurse in public anymore, although we do often in front of family and friends at our home or theirs. Paul's medical team (one of the top in the country) are very certain of the continued benefits as are all the organizations previously mentioned and quoted, so it's fine for those of you to believe that there is no benefit in breastfeeding past infancy - but you are in error. The FACTS say you are wrong. State your personal opinion all you want, but know that all the research says otherwise.

If I am lucky enough to have another child I will breastfeed him or her and I will do it anytime anywhere I happen to be. Not only is it a legal right - it's just totally reaonable thing to do. As I said before, you won't get any peep show and you won't see anything objectionable. Your children won't be scarred. I also won't cover up with a blanket just so they won't be able to tell what I'm actually doing. If just knowing that a woman is breastfeeding is objectionable to you, well, I'm sorry but that just really is your problem. And, I sincerely hope that you are able to work through it. Happily, the number of mothers nursing their babies is on the rise and you and your kids are going to see more and more of it. So, be prepared.

It has not been my intention to be rude or hurtful to anyone on this thread. I go out of my way not to seem as though I'm attacking moms who didn't or couldn't nurse their children. My only problem is with those that have issues with breastfeeding mothers.

And, yes, I admit it, if I'm out and nursing my child on a park bench and that makes you uncomfortable or it makes your child curious or it you think it's gross or whatever - no, I really honestly don't care. Am I supposed to?

I don't know what you want us to say. Should we say it's ok to nurse in public - unless someone around doesn't like it? Should nursing moms have to stand up and ask permission at the top of their lungs to make sure nobody is offended? Should we issue an apology to the crowd before feeding our child? Should we hide away like we think we're doing something shameful?

I promise you that for every nursing mom you have seen exposing herself, you have walked by 100 more sitting quietly and feeding their child without you even noticing. Why condem a whole group of mothers just because of the outlandish actions of a few?

It seems to me that it's just best to put our energy into working toward a time when nobody is offended or uncomfortable because it's such a common sight. And, hopefully, that will happen before too long!

So, go and feed your child whatever you want, however you want. You won't get any complaints or hassle from me. And, I expect the same in return. But, if you do see me and you complain or give me a dirtly look or "politely" ask me to cover up or me or move someplace else (none of which has ever happened to me in over 2 years of public nursing), I wil tell you right now that I'm not going to be worried or pay any attention to you at all. Why on earth should I?

 

[Tricialiv]

Why do breastfeeders have to explain to others who choose to use formula. I don't appreciate feeling like I have to explain my reasons for nursing. I also never ask anyone why they don't breastfeed. It's a choice that works for the individual family. Some of you moms who don't breastfeed act like petty hangups are more important than a 11 month old who needs milk. Most people do breastfeed discreetly. The need for milk doesn't disapear at a "magic" age. Why should the "child" have to switch to cows milk.(I would say baby but you seem to want children to grow up so fast). I breastfed my DD until 3-she could talk, sing and go potty too. How is that relevant? I think you won't understand unless you have done it. I have reached the point where I no longer care. I wish I would have long before, and my DD and I would have spent less time searching for a private place or gotten stuck in a cold or hot car so as not to offend.

 

[meatballsmom]

Why do breastfeeders have to explain to others who choose to use formula. I don't appreciate feeling like I have to explain my reasons for nursing. I also never ask anyone why they don't breastfeed. It's a choice that works for the individual family. Some of you moms who don't breastfeed act like petty hangups are more important than a 11 month old who needs milk. Most people do breastfeed discreetly. The need for milk doesn't disapear at a "magic" age. Why should the "child" have to switch to cows milk.(I would say baby but you seem to want children to grow up so fast). I breastfed my DD until 3-she could talk, sing and go potty too. How is that relevant? I think you won't understand unless you have done it. I have reached the point where I no longer care. I wish I would have long before, and my DD and I would have spent less time searching for a private place or gotten stuck in a cold or hot car so as not to offend.

You don't have to explain BF to me. I respect your feelings on wanting to BF your child for as long as you want. That's your opinion and what you choose to do. But I chose not too and it does make me uncomfortable. You all state that we should choose not to look if it makes us uncomfortable, but your missing the point of our children will not choose to not look and will start asking questions about it. Life is about choices and yes you do have every right to make the choices you want. But when you are talking about visable choices that we have not control over, that's where it bothers me. I choose not to take my child to movies that have violence, I choose not to take him to movies that have nudity or cursing. I choose not to take him to a clothing optional beach Why?? Because those are my opinions. When you have women BFing in public without being very discreet, you are taking away my ability to choose. And that's what I disagree with. We have become a society where we don't care about other peoples opinions or view because we have every right to do what we are doing. Yes I believe you do have the right to BF in public. But I ask that you all take every elses uncomfortableness into consideration when you do.

 

[Ardenne]

When you have women BFing in public without being very discreet, you are taking away my ability to choose. And that's what I disagree with. We have become a society where we don't care about other peoples opinions or view because we have every right to do what we are doing. Yes I believe you do have the right to BF in public. But I ask that you all take every elses uncomfortableness into consideration when you do.

The problem with this is that there are so many opinions on what constitutes 'discreet' that there's no way we can possibly satisfy everyone without simply ceasing to nurse in public, period. Some people think being discreet simply means not exposing a lot of extra flesh -- and I'm careful not to. If you saw me, you'd probably not even realize I'm nursing. Some people think it means covering up with a blanket -- but I'm not willing to do that if the baby doesn't like it (one of mine would NOT nurse under a blanket, period) or if it's too hot to be comfortable. Some people think it means not nursing in public at all -- and obviously, I don't think that's a reasonable restriction to place on nursing babies and their mothers.

 

[GEM]

Gosh. There are so many truly objectionable things out there that you will have to explain to your child on a daily basis, that is just seems to be like the very occasional glimpse of a nursing mother feeding a baby would be way, way, way down on the list. You are your kids are going to be exposed to all sorts of things. A mom feeding a baby would, I think, be the least of your worries.

And, for the record, expecting me to care more about your uncomfortable feelings when seeing me nurse my child than I do about my own child's hunger and comfort is certainly every bit as "selfish" as me nursing my child whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. In fact, it seems to me that it's much more "selfish" - and this is a word that's been thrown around, not one I'm picking out of thin air - to care more about feeling a bit uncomfortable than you do about a child that needs feeding.

The problem with this is that there are so many opinions on what constitutes 'discreet' that there's no way we can possibly satisfy everyone without simply ceasing to nurse in public, period. Some people think being discreet simply means not exposing a lot of extra flesh -- and I'm careful not to. If you saw me, you'd probably not even realize I'm nursing. Some people think it means covering up with a blanket -- but I'm not willing to do that if the baby doesn't like it (one of mine would NOT nurse under a blanket, period) or if it's too hot to be comfortable. Some people think it means not nursing in public at all -- and obviously, I don't think that's a reasonable restriction to place on nursing babies and their mothers.

That is so very true! When I have nursed Paul in public (at all ages) I have always been careful not to flash any breast (or god forbid in my case, tummy). Have I been discreet? I think so, but you might not. I just pull my shirt up and latch him on. You can't see anything at all but the back of his head - no flesh. I don't cover up with a blanket. I like to see him and he likes to see me. So, I think I've been pretty discreet. Obviously, some would disagree. Like I said, though, if that's the case, then it's the actual idea of knowing (or having your children know) a mom is nursing that bothers you - not seeing skin. And, there's really nothing any of us can do about that.

I know, I know. I really am done now. There's no point. I'm disconnecting my DSL for the day. Carry on.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

As I've said before, I am very pro-breastfeeding and as long as you follow laws and are discreet about it, public breastfeeding can be done without much to-do.

The rest here is my opinion and questions (one of which I've asked before but didn't get answered) Let me preface this by saying I am 25 and live close to NYC where people don't really breastfeed much, no one in my family has breastfed (except my sister in law who did for one week, but got tired of it, and she only did it in a locked room) and I've never seen it except far away so I am fairly ignorant about some of this, though I personally plan on being the first person in my family (in the past 3 generations at least) to breastfeed. I've been interested in water births, breastfeeding, etc. ever since I became a Women's Studies minor in college several years ago and learned about some of the benefits in my Women's Health class. Please be nice to me.

If I saw a woman breastfeeding in Columbia Harbour House or a park bench, I might look, just because, as I've said, I've never seen it before. But I wouldn't be offended. I would be a little surprised to see it in places like Bistro de Paris or California Grill, where the atmosphere is deliberately fancier. To me, it's like church or something- formal, I guess. This is really not judgmental, I'm truly trying to understand all this a little better.
Also, are there any places where you wouldn't breastfeed?


The other question I had was about the age to stop- I know there's no magical age, but as I mentioned before, I saw a woman on tv who restarted bfing her kids around ages 6 and 7 when she had a third child and they got jealous. Is there a point where it's just not emotionally healthy for them? Like if I saw a second grader breastfeeding, I would be totally shocked.
Do you believe that there is an age that is "too old"?

Thanks for your help! Again, I really am interested in learning about what is commonly done/accepted, here. Thanks!!!

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Simple solution, don't flop them out in public!!

I never have, and neither have the vast majority of moms who bfip.

 

[becca011906]

Gosh. There are so many truly objectionable things out there that you will have to explain to your child on a daily basis, that is just seems to be like the very occasional glimpse of a nursing mother feeding a baby would be way, way, way down on the list. You are your kids are going to be exposed to all sorts of things. A mom feeding a baby would, I think, be the least of your worries.

And, for the record, expecting me to care more about your uncomfortable feelings when seeing me nurse my child than I do about my own child's hunger and comfort is certainly every bit as "selfish" as me nursing my child whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. In fact, it seems to me that it's much more "selfish" - and this is a word that's been thrown around, not one I'm picking out of thin air - to care more about feeling a bit uncomfortable than you do about a child that needs feeding.

Very very very well put, my childs needs come way way before the needs of anyone eles... period!

 

[meatballsmom]

Gosh. There are so many truly objectionable things out there that you will have to explain to your child on a daily basis, that is just seems to be like the very occasional glimpse of a nursing mother feeding a baby would be way, way, way down on the list. You are your kids are going to be exposed to all sorts of things. A mom feeding a baby would, I think, be the least of your worries.

And, for the record, expecting me to care more about your uncomfortable feelings when seeing me nurse my child than I do about my own child's hunger and comfort is certainly every bit as "selfish" as me nursing my child whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. In fact, it seems to me that it's much more "selfish" - and this is a word that's been thrown around, not one I'm picking out of thin air - to care more about feeling a bit uncomfortable than you do about a child that needs feeding.



That is so very true! When I have nursed Paul in public (at all ages) I have always been careful not to flash any breast (or god forbid in my case, tummy). Have I been discreet? I think so, but you might not. I just pull my shirt up and latch him on. You can't see anything at all but the back of his head - no flesh. I don't cover up with a blanket. I like to see him and he likes to see me. So, I think I've been pretty discreet. Obviously, some would disagree. Like I said, though, if that's the case, then it's the actual idea of knowing a mom is nursing that bothers you - not seeing skin. And, there's really nothing any of us can do about that.

I know, I know. I really am done now. There's no point. I'm disconnecting my DSL for the day. Carry on.

I am not asking you not to nurse your child in public. It's impossible to speak to BFing mom's about our opinions. Nurse all you like. All I asked is that you do it discreetly. Is that so much to ask? I'm not trying to take away your ability to do so. Just don't whip our your breast and have a child attach itself to it (and I'm not talking babies). I've been places where woman do not use discretion and think nothing of having their breast out there for all to see. That's all I'm asking is that you cover up a bit. When some of you talk about breastfeeding a 4 yo, I don't know how that can be made discreet at all, and yes it makes me uncomfortable. Yes I know my children will be exposed to alot of things in life, but I as a mother I should have the choice as to when I want them exposed to certain things. Enough said on this subject for me because no matter how I ask for BFing in public mom's to be discreet, they are going to take my opinion as being against them (which for all of you reading, I am not).

 

[kidshop]

Simple solution, don't flop them out in public!!

Remember the reason for the 'flopping out'. Feeding a hungry baby is the purpose. Not to offend you and scar children.

 

[GEM]

Hey Lulu,

I only came back because you were so nice.

First, there is no place that I would take my baby that I wouldn't feel comfortable nursing - including church. There are places I wouldn't nurse, but that's because I wouldn't take a baby those places in the first place - California Grill, a play or concert, a funeral, etc. And, as I said, I feel I'm always discreet, but I can't help if your idea of "discreet" and mine are different.

As for age, I don't think there's a certain age. I can honestly say I don't know any school age kids that are still nursing. I know lots of toddlers, but 4 or so is probably the upper limit. I know people bring this up all the time, but I've never known anyone who did or seen anyone do that. I would think that, under most circumstances, the child would feel uncomfortable with it at that age. For me, that's the clue - when the child is ready, you stop. As for whether it's harmful or not, I would think that a school age child would be open to all sorts of ridicule and torment if anyone found out, and that would certainly be hurtful. It's a tough question and I'm not going to pick an age when it's time to stop for everyone. It depends on the child and their emotional and physical needs, etc. I think that most little ones know when to give it up and they do so at an appropriate time for them. I've also known lots of dedicated nursers who had little brothers or sisters born after they weaned, and although they were interested in the whole thing, they didn't ask to go back to nursing - so that story definately is unusual. I would think that it's the jealously issue that really needs to be dealt with in that case.

As for someone like you noticing and looking, that doesn't bother me at all! I actually love making eye contact and smiling and talking to people while I'm nursing in public. It helps them feel at ease and helps people understand that I'm not uncomfortable, so they don't need to be either.

And, for the record, I was in NYC all last week and I saw tons of nursing moms - at the Met, in Central Park, in restaurants, on top of the Empire State Building, Times Square Toys R Us, the subway - pretty much everywhere we went! Maybe you just don't notice them, but they're out there!

Now, I'm really done. I have to go to a meeting - the March of Dimes board, not LeLeche League.

 

[Tricialiv]

I totally agree with GEM. I already stated in my post that I was discreet. Often at personal discomfort to myself and baby. Looking back on it that was foolish. Have you ever even seen someone breastfeeding without any regard to modesty? I haven't. It seems like people are nitpicking with a lot of "what ifs". If you or your child had ever seen me breastfeed it would have looked like I was holding a child. I also don't understand how it can be that hard to discuss with your child. Do you plan on discussing the human body and the reason women have breasts, to make milk for a baby- as with all mammals?

 

[becca011906]

LuLu i know just where you are coming from i had seldom seen someone breastfeed before i had my ds, and i had him at age 16 so no excue of being a young mom and not wanting to BF! I wouln't mind at all if someone who never saw a baby BF looked, asked or anything not rude!
As for the mom that restarted BF a 6 and 7 year old that's a problem after the child has weaned by that on his own (which i'm all for) or mama lead weaning, then dont' restart BF that is just going to mess with your child. IMO.

 

[Bird-Mom]

I hope all you mamas who are so afraid of a little skin keep you older children locked up in the summer. Do not ever let them go to the pool or beach. There are so many clothes that reveal far more belly and breast than NIP does.

I live in an area that is very BF friendly, I see nursing moms every day, and I have yet to see this Mythical Woman who exposes all.

Seriously, what are you afraid of?

I see so much ignorance here that I am truly disgusted.

There is so much talk here about making choices that are right for your family and asking for other's respct. Well how about some tolerance? I do lots of things that I am sure would have mainstream parents in a tizzy, but that is how I have chosen to raise my babies. I will make no apologies for my parenting and health philosophy.

I still will NIP where and whenever my dd wants. I try to be discreet, but I have a wriggly toddler. Call me inconsiderate because I really, truly do not care if I offend you. I don't know how feeding your baby or child can be offensive. How would the bottlefeeders feel if I asked you to put that bottle away because I don't want my children to see it?

There is no magical day when baby/child does not need a breast. And no one here can make that decision for another family. Teeth have nothing to do with it. Babies do not have their mom's immunities for the first year. Antibodies do come from breastfeeding as long as it continues. If you have not nursed or extended nursed, you have no idea how it works and what other things BF is good for than nutrition.

I am very sad that my girls are growing up in a world where so much ignorance and intolerance might affect their choice to do what is natural for their babies. Hopefully I am providing them with the tools to have the self-confidence to overcome nasty attitudes as exhibited here.

 

[meatballsmom]

I totally agree with GEM. I already stated in my post that I was discreet. Often at personal discomfort to myself and baby. Looking back on it that was foolish. Have you ever even seen someone breastfeeding without any regard to modesty? I haven't. It seems like people are nitpicking with a lot of "what ifs". If you or your child had ever seen me breastfeed it would have looked like I was holding a child. I also don't understand how it can be that hard to discuss with your child. Do you plan on discussing the human body and the reason women have breasts, to make milk for a baby- as with all mammals?

In answer to your question, yes I have seen woman not having any regard to modesty. I was on a Thomas the Train ride one year with several woman who just pulled up there top and allowed their older toddlers (3-4) to begin nursing. Now that's definately not looking like your holding your child. My child is of the understanding of breastfeeding. I have explained it to him when we have seen it. He's always been told that babies are usually BF. But seeing a 3 or 4 yo breastfeeding brings on different questions from him and makes him and I uncomfortable. Never mind hearing that people still BF at 6 or 7. I could just picture my son attaching himself onto me now. He's over 4 feet tall at 6. I just think that would be a little strange. Just my opinion.

Like I said numerous times, I agree with breastfeeding. I'm all for it. So people stop dissing us for having some opinions of discretion.

 

[kidshop]

I AM NOT TRYING TO GET FLAMED HERE!! Belive me, I really don't care how women choose to feed their kids.

However, many women I know, both breastfeeders and bottle feeders alike, disagree with long term breastfeeding. They understand that breastfeeding an infant is medically proven to be healthier then formula feeding, however when babies begin to grow teeth (aorund 4-6 months) it is sort of natures way of saying it is time to move on to solid foods. I don't know if children are meant to be fed in this fashion after infancy, I don't really care either but it sort of seems like nature intends for breastfeeding to stop at that point.

In other forms of nature, the young of species are not fed into childhood, they are fed during infancy. Why is it that women feed their toddlers from their breasts? I am really not trying to start an argument, I just don't understand the necessity for it. As far as immunity goes, babies have their mothers immunities for the first year regardless of whether or not the mother chose to breastfeed or not. After the first year, shouldnt the child develop an immunity of it's own? and as far as bonding goes, I never agreed with that as a reason anyway because I don't believe in the argument. However, even if the woman feels this way, are there not other ways to bond with your child? That are not quite as painful....

This is a really funny post! No flames, but it is obvious you don't anything about babies and their development into the toddler years. The immunity from the mother wears off at about 6 months of age. Look it up and read the AAP policy on breastfeeding which is linked in an earlier post. Do you know any toddlers who use pacifers or use bottles or a baby with teeth who does( )? Hmmmm. Bfing is food and comfort and mom all in one. Sounds like a good deal to me! What is the right age to cut that off? I think that is up to each bfing pair.

 

[traci]

The other question I had was about the age to stop- I know there's no magical age, but as I mentioned before, I saw a woman on tv who restarted bfing her kids around ages 6 and 7 when she had a third child and they got jealous. Is there a point where it's just not emotionally healthy for them? Like if I saw a second grader breastfeeding, I would be totally shocked.
Do you believe that there is an age that is "too old"?

Yes, I do. I think 6, 7 is too old to nurse. and I also breastfed both my children. I think they get the benefit when they are babies. a 4 year old is not even a "baby" anymore.

 

[Bird-Mom]

As I've said before, I am very pro-breastfeeding and as long as you follow laws and are discreet about it, public breastfeeding can be done without much to-do.

The rest here is my opinion and questions (one of which I've asked before but didn't get answered) Let me preface this by saying I am 25 and live close to NYC where people don't really breastfeed much, no one in my family has breastfed (except my sister in law who did for one week, but got tired of it, and she only did it in a locked room) and I've never seen it except far away so I am fairly ignorant about some of this, though I personally plan on being the first person in my family (in the past 3 generations at least) to breastfeed. I've been interested in water births, breastfeeding, etc. ever since I became a Women's Studies minor in college several years ago and learned about some of the benefits in my Women's Health class. Please be nice to me.

If I saw a woman breastfeeding in Columbia Harbour House or a park bench, I might look, just because, as I've said, I've never seen it before. But I wouldn't be offended. I would be a little surprised to see it in places like Bistro de Paris or California Grill, where the atmosphere is deliberately fancier. To me, it's like church or something- formal, I guess. This is really not judgmental, I'm truly trying to understand all this a little better.
Also, are there any places where you wouldn't breastfeed?


The other question I had was about the age to stop- I know there's no magical age, but as I mentioned before, I saw a woman on tv who restarted bfing her kids around ages 6 and 7 when she had a third child and they got jealous. Is there a point where it's just not emotionally healthy for them? Like if I saw a second grader breastfeeding, I would be totally shocked.
Do you believe that there is an age that is "too old"?

Thanks for your help! Again, I really am interested in learning about what is commonly done/accepted, here. Thanks!!!

Lulu, I would ask that you read So that's What They Are For by Janet Tamaro. Excellent read.

I had to giggle when you mentioned church because (and I am not partucularly religious) but think about it, Jesus was likely breastfed because there were no artifical baby milk alternatives at the time. I do not go to church, but I do know plently of people who nurse in church.

As far as fancy restaurants, I would certainly nurse there. Restaurants are for eating. There is nowhere that I wouldn't nurse.

I have a friend who is nursing her 5 year old. She didn't plan it that way; they tried to wean at 4, and then at 4 1/2, but her dd was not ready. Biologically, children will self wean usually by age 7.

Yikes, I need to get in the shower, but if you have any other questions, I would be happy to answer them.