LuluLovesDisney said:
I do not understand the reasons for the snarky comments made by some here. First, I agree that breastfeeding is not the differential in bonding between mother and child. That is like saying since my mother did not breastfeed me, we are not as close as we *should* have been.
Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for those that choose to do it and are able. If a mother chooses not to, they can still have just as close of a relationship with their child. Breastfeeding is natural, yes, and has health benefits, but no one is "right" or "wrong" for their decisions or circumstances.
As far as what breasts are for, yes, they are biologically for breastfeeding. That is undebatable. Just like the biological function of eyelashes are to keep bugs and dirt out of delicate eyeballs. We can use our body parts for whatever we like, eyelashes can be used for flirting, for making eyes look bigger with mascara, etc. I do not have to provide a list of options for using breasts. However, whatever we do with them does not change their biological function.
As far as public breastfeeding, as long as women follow the laws of the state they are in, take proper care in covering up, and exercise common sense (ie: breastfeeding in Bistro de Paris would probably not be the classiest thing to do) they can breastfeed for as long as they like. I think baby care lounges, dressing room foyers before the bathrooms in nicer restaurants, well-shaded park benches and the like would be the most comfortable places to breastfeed.
Oh dear! Lulu, I was with you up until this part: "...
exercise common sense (ie: breastfeeding in Bistro de Paris would probably not be the classiest thing to do), they can breastfeed for as long as they like. I think baby care lounges, dressing room foyers before the bathrooms in nicer restaurants, well-shaded park benches and the like would be the most comfortable places to breastfeed."
I wouldn't call your comments "snarky", but they are rather judgemental. While Bistro de Paris isn't a place I'd take my kids in the first place, if a baby was there and needed to eat, it'd be no less classy to feed him there than any other place.
It sounds like you haven't breastfed, so why on earth would you speculate as to the most comfortable places to breastfeed? Just FYI, it's a lot more comfortable to breastfeed at the table, eating my own dinner with my free hand and conversing with my husband, than it is to sit alone in a bathroom for 20 minutes while my dinner gets cold. (Even those little "lounges" aren't separated enough from the main bathroom to avoid hearing and smelling everything that goes on in them
).
Karen -- I wanted to address your question about how I'd feel to be stared at while BFIP. First of all, I think that with all the negativity shown toward BFIP in this country, women need to be pretty self-confident to do it in the first place. I remember kids staring on a couple of occasions, and it truly didn't make me uncomfortable at all. I could tell they were wondering what I was doing, and I would have liked to say "I'm just feeding my baby", but I didn't for fear their parents wouldn't have wanted me to say anything. IIRC, the parents told the children it's not polite to stare, and distracted them somehow. I was fine with that, and I'd have been fine with the parent telling me "sorry, he has autism and sometimes forgets that he shouldn't stare". Really, if a child's stares were making me uncomfortable, I'd wonder if too much breast was showing, and try to cover up a bit more. I think those women were rude to you and your son, to make those comments before even attempting to cover up what he was staring at.
Last thing, one more funny story to share -- not bf-related, but related to "uncomfortable" discussions with your kids. We were in a home improvement store last night, when dd7 saw a bidet and said something about the funny little toilet. Tons of people were around, and most of them giggled. Dh replied "that's not a toilet, it's a bidet". This time, gasps from nearby shoppers. Of course, dd asked "what's a bidet?" More gasps and the looks from a couple of people like "See, you should've just let her think it's a toilet.".
I explained to dd, "It's for washing your private parts. People sit on it, and water sprays up to wash yourself with." Dd's response was "Oh. Wow, look at that cool shower over there!", and the conversation was over.
One of the other shoppers actually came over to me afterward and told me I'd impressed her, that she'd have been embarassed to talk about it and probably would have let her kids think it was a toilet.
All I could think of when this was going on was whether any parents ever contacted the store to ask them not to carry bidets, so they wouldn't have to explain to their kids what they are.
A simple explanation on a child's level is so easy, and is usually no big deal to a child for whom body parts are just body parts.
Talk about a double standard!
In fact, over Christmas my husband and Paul and I went on a cruise with him and his daddy. It was great, and he did see Paul nursing quite a bit. He never even batted an eye, just totally took it in stride - and this was a kid who was totally bottle fed and had never known anything else. Kids are really pretty accepting and understanding, when you give them a chance.
