Breastfeeding an older baby at WDW

[grlpwrd]

For baby feeding, the World Health Organization gives the guidelines that breastmilk straight from the tap is number one, pumped milk is number 2, donated milk is number 3, and formula is number 4.

I'm with Gem. I am going to keep my mouth shut because the ignorance in this thread is sickening. I have been nursing for the last 3.5 years and I know what I am doing for my babies. Like I said before, I do not care how you feed your babies, but do not ask me to move, cover up or hide. Do not establish age limits for me. (BTW, the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends extend nursing.) We are mammals; breasts are for feeding. That doesn't mean we cannot use them for other things, but first and foremost, they are for feeding.

I highly recommend reading So that's what they're for byt Janet Tamaro. It is a great read.

And for those of you worried about your boys, tell them what breasts are for. We are show ignorance through fear of the unknown. Knowledge is power. Tell them not to look if it is a really big issue for you. And keep them locked up in the house during the summer because they will see t-shirts that expose more breast and belly than most breastfeeding women expose during feeding.

These bf'ing threads always degenerate into debating and personal attacks so I just want to add that each time a woman NIP she's being a bf'ing advocate.

Like another poster already alluded to - don't let a bunch of anonymous people on the DIS boards determine your choice regarding breastfeeding. There are many other supportive resources out there, such as www.kellymom.com, www.mothering.com, and www.breastfeeding.com .

 

[allyphoe]

For those who have mentioned that they have no problem with children asking questions, I'd appreciate some advice for my DS, 8, who has a form of autism. While he understands the concept of BF and has seen it before in public and in our friends' homes, etc....I have been having trouble with him staring at women who are BFIP lately--mostly when there is most of their breast(s) exposed. Some of them have been really outspoken and made comments (why doesn't he just take a picture, can't you teach your son some manners, etc..) and I'm wondering if I should say something to them or try to have him apologize for his staring. We usually don't say much about his issues unless he is really out of hand, but now that he is older people think he is being rude and that is not the case. TIA for your suggestions.

What would you say if he were staring at someone for some other reason? I'm thinking about, say, a person in a wheelchair, or a person of a different race? Or a woman in a skimpy bikini? I think the situations are somewhat analogous, and I'd try to use the same explanations (either to him or for him).

For me, if I had someone staring at me in a (non-threatening) manner that made me uncomfortable, I'd most likely just move somewhere else or turn away. After all, my expectation is that if someone else is uncomfortable with what I'm doing, I'd prefer that they move / look somewhere else, rather than asking me if I'm giving free shows or telling me I should learn some manners.

Phoebe

 

[dismom9761]

First, to the original poster. Go, nurse your baby and have a wonderful time at Disney!!

I am mom to seven, six of whom have been nursed and all self weaned before 12 months, including a set of premature twins. I am a nurse and my husband is an md, and it is a fact that the nutritional content if breast milk is superior to formula. And, there are definately reasons (allergies, diabetes, etc.) for women to nurse their babies well through their toddler years.

However, I don't agree that breastfeeding is always the best choice for every mom and baby. I also don't agree that the bond between breastfed babies and moms is any better or different than bottle fed babies and moms. My oldest daughter who was bottlefed exclusively loves and is loved as much as her siblings.

I think that moms who choose to breastfeed OR bottlefeed should be supported in their decision, one way or another. It is a personal decision, not that of the public at large. Moms who choose to nurse should be encouraged and supported in doing that where they are comfortable, not made to hide because someone else might be uncomfortable with a baby being nursed in public. And, moms who choose to bottle feed should not be harrassed because they chose not to breastfeed for whatever reason. They are both moms nuturing their babies, just doing it in different ways, doing what is best for them.

Being a mom is hard enough without others criticizing our choices. My friends and I who are all on COMPLETELY different paths of parenthood try to be SUPPORTIVE when we can and QUIET when we can't. It works really well

And, we have totally found that simple explanations work best when having to explain something to our children that they might not have seen before. Children take in alot from their parents. If we don't make a huge deal out of it, they wont either.

I believe that is all that needs to be said.Great job,Jeanne.

 

[michvin]

The only problem with posts such as these is that it really gets down to a core issue in the US...the level of cultural immaturity present. Women in Europe breastfeed, anywhere, openly with "it out" . I nursed all 3 of my children until they were one and began to eat food. I think nursing is important for the mother and child physically and mentally. Do I think most women should give it a try, sure. Is it my job to hound on those that don't, no. Our society is so immature on soooo many levels that things like breastfeeding get blown out of proportion...having to worry about what other people think, "can you see any part of my breast", etc. I remember with my first child I had problems breastfeeding probably because I was soooo uptight. By the third, I was relaxed, and it while at the beach, or the pool, or the mall, someone got a "peek", well...come on really, like people don't see this stuff on tv or in the magazines. Its funny that is okay to go to the beach and have practically eveything hanging out, or to see men with their shirts off (and some of them have bigger breasts than me! ) I've continued to realize that if you live your life worrying about what others think, than you aren't living YOUR life. And if people assume you think down on them because of your beliefs, that's not your issue either. Relax and do you thing.

 

[Goobergal99]

I must say that I could care less how women feed their babies and I certainly wouldn't ask anyone to cover it up. Like i said, I recall don't care at all anyway.

As for me, I lactated throughout my third trimester and had to bond my breasts for months after my DD was born to stop the lactating (cabbage in the bra and all and boy does that smell bad ) but anyways, I chose not to breast feed, not only because I was so young but also because it just wasn't something I ever saw myself doing. I don't see anything wrong with it, it just was not for me period. My daughter and I have a very strong bond and her eyes still light up every time I walk through the door, I love my lil

My mom never breast fed me either, not because she didn't want to, she just did not lactate enough and she was not the healthiest mom either. As far as bonding goes, I think that whole theory is a load of (insert explicit) My mom and I are soooo super close that ppl still make comments that I have yet to cut the cord (and I am married with a child of my own ) Mom and I go out at least once a week, she comes to stay with my DD when DH and I have to work and we talk everyday on the phone (not to mention we work for the same place so I see her everyday) My moms DBF calls us the "Gilmore Girls" as far as DH goes, he was breastfed and him and his mother barely speak. In fact I talk to my DMIL more then him

I think the comments made by some ppl on both sides of the argument are horrible and accusatory. Telling a woman to take her child and go behind the scenes to feed him/her is just as arrogant as telling bottle feeding parents that they are not well bonded with their children because anyone can give your child a bottle. The ppl I really feel for in that case are the poor DH's of those women who think that there is nothing like a "mothers bond" how sexist is that, just because DH can't lactate, that means he doesn't have that special bond with his DS/DD? B.S.!! I am glad that both DH and I bonded on equal levels with our DD.

Makes me glad that I am such a manist LOL!

 

[MelodyMack]

This thread is HYSTERICAL.....God bless ALL mothers!!! We all work so hard to bring up creative, self-confident, respectful, independent, healthy kids, that maybe we shoud take more times for ourselves (and our sanity).

STOP contributing to this endless (although highly entertaining) thread, go start a bubble bath, climb in, and PLEASE relax ladies...

Life is tooooooo short for this....back to your regularly scheduled DISNEY PLANNING programming......
Mel

 

[mndisfam]

I hate to see this topic get so heated. We are all moms that love our babies. I(mine are big now...) I BF'ed both until they were about 1, did it in public lots, and no one ever really knew what was happening. A nursing baby is so quiet. We all just do our best.

SO to keep this on a lighter note, I will tell 2 funny stories.

When my son had his 3 yr old well-child check up, the nurse gave him a baby doll and a bottle and asked him to feed the baby. (must have been a developmental question.) He looked SO CONFUSED, and then the lightbulb went off in his head. He took off his shirt and stuck the doll to his nipple - he had always seen be bf his baby sister and didn't even know what a bottle is!

The other story is about my sister, who is pretty large (I mean a big woman.) When she had her first baby, she asked me for nursing advice in public - I said its not a big deal - just get a little blanket and you can cover up really well. (Of course, I meant the baby abd your ****ie.) She didn't understand - so you can imagine my hysterical laughter at the Mn State fairwhen I found her on a bench covered from the head down by a huge blanket. She looked like a giant haystack!!! It was hot too! I can't believe the people that stopped and stared!

 

[brymolmom]

Karen, I am very sorry about your post partum depression. I had it mildly with my first and it was terrible! However, the scientist in me won't let this comment go. It is proven. Of course, since it is a blanket statement it isn't true for everyone. But more often than not it is true and it is still sound science. There are proven health benefits for both the mom and the child. Of course there are exceptions. But I hear the same debate for carseats, seat belts, smoking, eating healthy, staying a healthy weight, drinking alcohol, etc. There are healthy 90 year olds that ate junk, smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, and drank way too much alcohol. They are the exception to the rule, but it doesn't make smoking cigarettes, etc any healthier. And I still teach my kids that they shouldn't smoke, etc.

Interesting viewpoint JennsBabySky. I, too, have a scientific mind, and it makes so much sense to me that with the scientific advancements in society today, and having so many more choices than did those before us, we now have the ability to choose any number of different options (icluding what to feed our babies) that work best for our own personal situations. As I stated in my OP, I don't mind people stating that BF is proven as most nutritiously beneficial. That can and has been proven. But, that doesn't mean, as you agree, that it is best for everyone. And people, our children too, need to be presented all the viable options so that if they happen to fall into a category that hasn't been supported by their family, they know they will receive support even if they determine an alternative is what is BEST for them.

We scientists just work with facts. Interesting that even dealing with facts can lead to such diverse opinions.

And also interesting that you put teaching them not to smoke into the same category as teaching them not to bottle feed. As it is totally different than what I would ever group together in teaching my children. Smoking may lead them and those around them into severe health issues while bottle feeding might be what is best and healthiest for their families (as was true in my case). Of course, if BF'ing is what works out best for my kids if/when they have their own - I'm all for that too! Totally different from smoking which, IMO, is never the healthiest choice.

-Karen

 

[welovedis]

mndisfan-Thanks for some levity, picturing your sis doing that is hilarious!

What would you say if he were staring at someone for some other reason? I'm thinking about, say, a person in a wheelchair, or a person of a different race? Or a woman in a skimpy bikini? I think the situations are somewhat analogous, and I'd try to use the same explanations (either to him or for him).

Well, that's the thing, he doesn't really stare at people in WCs or ECVs (his grandma uses one so he's accustomed to it), people of other races (his 2 uncles are a different race and so are many of his classmates), and we really haven't seen many skimpy bikinis around this summer (hard to believe isn't it!) and he doesn't seem to say anything at all or stare at them.

I just wanted to know if it would bother you (in general) to have someone approach if and mention this while you were BF or if that would bother you in some way. I have no problem saying something if my DS is staring and making a mom uncomfortable, however, I also don't think I need to explain DS to everyone on the planet. Guess I was trying to get a feel for what some BF moms would think was ok to do/say in that situation.

Thanks for the comments/suggestions to all who posted or PMed. It is appreciated.

 

[lovethattink]

I hate to see this topic get so heated. We are all moms that love our babies. I(mine are big now...) I BF'ed both until they were about 1, did it in public lots, and no one ever really knew what was happening. A nursing baby is so quiet. We all just do our best.

SO to keep this on a lighter note, I will tell 2 funny stories.

When my son had his 3 yr old well-child check up, the nurse gave him a baby doll and a bottle and asked him to feed the baby. (must have been a developmental question.) He looked SO CONFUSED, and then the lightbulb went off in his head. He took off his shirt and stuck the doll to his nipple - he had always seen be bf his baby sister and didn't even know what a bottle is!

The other story is about my sister, who is pretty large (I mean a big woman.) When she had her first baby, she asked me for nursing advice in public - I said its not a big deal - just get a little blanket and you can cover up really well. (Of course, I meant the baby abd your ****ie.) She didn't understand - so you can imagine my hysterical laughter at the Mn State fairwhen I found her on a bench covered from the head down by a huge blanket. She looked like a giant haystack!!! It was hot too! I can't believe the people that stopped and stared!

ROFL!!! Thanks, I needed a good laugh today.

 

[Ardenne]

Karen, to answer your last post -- if a child were staring at me and making me nervous or uncomfortable, I personally would feel *better* about it, not uncomfortable, if the child's mother simply gave me a friendly smile and explained the situation. You're right, though, that the world at large doesn't require justification for everything your son might possibly do -- he's just being who he is, it's just that who he is is a little out of the ordinary. So, IMHO, explain if you feel it's appropriate or justified, but don't feel like you *have* to explain if you feel it's better not to, for whatever reason.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Karen, I think that the majority of nursing moms I have known would just make sure they were adequately covered, and realize that some are curious. It has been five years since I last dealt with it, but I remember that being my feeling. My son is very analytical, and can stare at times while he is trying to figure out a situation. He can be so wretchedly serious sometimes that he looks grumpy while he is thinking.

 

[GEM]

Honestly, it never even has occured to me to be bothered when children notice or look. I always just assumed that their parents had (or at least would) explain breastfeeding to them in a positive light - even if the kids themselves were formula fed. It just seems so natural and normal to me that I can't even imagine someone not wanting to explain it to their children or being upset when kids notice or ask normal kid-type questions about it. It's just a part of life that needs to seen by everyone of all ages as normal and healthy and fine. I guess that's what I'm struggling with here the most. The whole attitude of "my child might see" or "how will I explain" or "what if they look" is just totally beyond my comprehension. All you ever have to say is, "She's feeding her baby," or "Baby is having some milk," or whatever. Where's the scandal and horror coming from?

I guess to me it's the same as saying that pregnant women should stay home the entire 9 months so you don't have to explain to your child where babies come from. If I'm 9 months pregnant and walking around Wal-Mart, I'm certainly not going to apologize for being there just because you don't want to have that particular talk with your child. And, if I'm out with my baby and he's hungry, I'm not about to let him cry while I look for a private place or put a hot blanket over him or cower in a corner just so you don't have to tell your child that some babies get milk from mommy. My son will know from the very beginning that some babies get their milk from mommy and some get it from a bottle, so no explanation will ever be necessary.

Every so often I catch someone looking at me when I'm nursing, mostly out of curiosity, I guess. I usually just smile at them and go right on with what I'm doing. It doesn't bother me a bit, and they usually just smile back.

As for special situations, like the poster who was curious about what to do about her son, I think most people are understanding about special needs kids. And, you're right, you don't have to explain your son's behavior any more than the woman sitting on the bench nursing needs to explain why she's doing that. Not knowing your son, it's hard for me to give you any suggestions. I don't know how verbal he is or anything like that. I guess I would just make sure that he knows what it is when he sees a woman breastfeeding and knows that it's just something that some moms and babies do. Maybe that will help him be less curious and interested.

I really hate that this always turns out this way. I honestly don't have any problem with moms that choose formula for whatever reason - your baby, your body, your choice. I don't have any problems until people start suggestion that nursing moms should be hidden away, or covered up, or stop by a certain age, or are only doing it for themselves, etc, etc, etc. So, please, if you're using formula, feel free to come and share my bench while I nurse my baby. We can have a nice conversation, I'm sure. Feel free to bring your husband and kids over to the bench with you. Just don't expect me to be more concerned about your family seeing a tiny bit of flesh than I am about my hungry baby, because it isn't going to happen.

 

[sleepyone]

Honestly, it never even has occured to me to be bothered when children notice or look. I always just assumed that their parents had (or at least would) explain breastfeeding to them in a positive light - even if the kids themselves were formula fed. It just seems so natural and normal to me that I can't even imagine someone not wanting to explain it to their children or being upset when kids notice or ask normal kid-type questions about it. It's just a part of life that needs to seen by everyone of all ages as normal and healthy and fine. I guess that's what I'm struggling with here the most. The whole attitude of "my child might see" or "how will I explain" or "what if they look" is just totally beyond my comprehension. All you ever have to say is, "She's feeding her baby," or "Baby is having some milk," or whatever. Where's the scandal and horror coming from?

I guess to me it's the same as saying that pregnant women should stay home the entire 9 months so you don't have to explain to your child where babies come from. If I'm 9 months pregnant and walking around Wal-Mart, I'm certainly not going to apologize for being there just because you don't want to have that particular talk with your child. And, if I'm out with my baby and he's hungry, I'm not about to let him cry while I look for a private place or put a hot blanket over him or cower in a corner just so you don't have to tell your child that some babies get milk from mommy. My son will know from the very beginning that some babies get their milk from mommy and some get it from a bottle, so no explanation will ever be necessary.

Every so often I catch someone looking at me when I'm nursing, mostly out of curiosity, I guess. I usually just smile at them and go right on with what I'm doing. It doesn't bother me a bit, and they usually just smile back.

As for special situations, like the poster who was curious about what to do about her son, I think most people are understanding about special needs kids. And, you're right, you don't have to explain your son's behavior any more than the woman sitting on the bench nursing needs to explain why she's doing that. Not knowing your son, it's hard for me to give you any suggestions. I don't know how verbal he is or anything like that. I guess I would just make sure that he knows what it is when he sees a woman breastfeeding and knows that it's just something that some moms and babies do. Maybe that will help him be less curious and interested.

I really hate that this always turns out this way. I honestly don't have any problem with moms that choose formula for whatever reason - your baby, your body, your choice. I don't have any problems until people start suggestion that nursing moms should be hidden away, or covered up, or stop by a certain age, or are only doing it for themselves, etc, etc, etc. So, please, if you're using formula, feel free to come and share my bench while I nurse my baby. We can have a nice conversation, I'm sure. Feel free to bring your husband and kids over to the bench with you. Just don't expect me to be more concerned about your family seeing a tiny bit of flesh than I am about my hungry baby, because it isn't going to happen.

Bravo!

 

[planning06]

I admit I haven't read the whole thread, but seeing the number of pages and knowing how threads like this turn out I just want to add my comments.

I nursed my dd for 21 months in an area with a very very low bf rate. I absolutely love seeing mothers bf their babies. It is a normal, healthy act that should be normalized in our society. I was perfectly fine bfip when my dd was under a year but I started feeling uncomfortable once she hit a year. I hated that feeling. I look forward to bfip becoming more common and accepted.

Personally, I love seeing any baby being fed lovingly, whether it is by breast or bottle. If women bottle feeding their children don't get any flack then neither should women bf their children.

 

[Jen D]

Try explaining it to a bunch of 3rd grade boys on a field trip to the zoo when you have no idea what their parents have told them in the past. They found the mom & baby a very interesting sight. I don't think it is my place as a school volunteer to explain the whole concept of breastfeeding to them. If the mom would have at least "covered up" a bit it might not have been such a problem. But it was definitely more interesting to them then a bottle feeding mom would have been because we encountered that too - with no problems.

If you have never seen it before a mom nursing a baby may well be an interesting sight. I don't see how hard it is to explain the concept... the mother is nursing the baby, babies get milk from their mother's breasts. What a perfect place to learn that lesson in the zoo, where you can connect that mother and child to all the other mammals nursing their babies.

Anyway, you'd better be prepared to answer questions in a zoo. just about every trip I had to a zoo as a kid featured some animals going at it somewhere! I remember our seventh grade class being especially impressed by the polar bears.

I can't help noticing that nursing threads are twice as likely to become ugly when nursing an older baby or a toddler is involved. For some that seems to be the tipping point.

I've nursed both babies well into toddlerhood. Neither ever did bottles or pacifiers so I was the only release for that suckling reflex that babies have well into toddlerhood.

I do attempt to be discreet nursing in public. My first priority is the comfort of my baby, but I do try to think of the comfort of those around me.... but sometimes thinking of those around you requires public nursing. It's a convenient way to calm and nourish a fussy or irritable child. I'm actually trying to move towards weaning my 18 month old but I'll miss the quick calming fix that nursing provides... I flew last week and I guarantee you that the people around me were much more comfortable with the baby nursing than screaming!

I am a bit flummoxed by the comments about keeping nursing away from the children, because I always admit that when I enter a family friendly environment like a them park or a zoo or a theme pizza restaurant I am always relieved because I know it will be nusing friendly environment. Never occurred to me that people want to hide breastfeeding from the kids. Maybe it is a regional thing.

(On edit) And Gem, I love your post and agree with every word!!

 

[Tricialiv]

Just another thumbs up for extended nursing. My DD was breastfed until she was 38 months old. By that time just to bed and when she awoke. I think if it is working for both mom and child then good for them. I have to admit that I was not planning on nursing that long but DD really was hooked. We received comments from grandparents, etc too, so I am just offering support to others out there feeling conflicted. You will know when your child is ready to quit. At 36 months I tried the lemon trick and DD decided she didn't like "milky" anymore. We were both ready and no trama or crying for anyone!

 

[4girlsmom]

Extended nurser here (34 mos.)

 

[Jen D]

Just another thumbs up for extended nursing. My DD was breastfed until she was 38 months old. By that time just to bed and when she awoke. I think if it is working for both mom and child then good for them. I have to admit that I was not planning on nursing that long but DD really was hooked. We received comments from grandparents, etc too, so I am just offering support to others out there feeling conflicted. You will know when your child is ready to quit. At 36 months I tried the lemon trick and DD decided she didn't like "milky" anymore. We were both ready and no trama or crying for anyone!

Ooh, what is the lemon trick? I'm intrigued.

I nursed dd 35 months... also not my plan. I planned to wean at 2. Yeah, a 2 year old, the most willfull and stubborn creature known to man, try taking away her first love. That didn't work!

Now I have an 18 month old.. I'd love to wean at 24 months, also, but I now know from experience that that is an impossible age to wean at! So I am playing it by ear but watching for any signs of detachment.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I do not understand the reasons for the snarky comments made by some here. First, I agree that breastfeeding is not the differential in bonding between mother and child. That is like saying since my mother did not breastfeed me, we are not as close as we *should* have been.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for those that choose to do it and are able. If a mother chooses not to, they can still have just as close of a relationship with their child. Breastfeeding is natural, yes, and has health benefits, but no one is "right" or "wrong" for their decisions or circumstances.

As far as what breasts are for, yes, they are biologically for breastfeeding. That is undebatable. Just like the biological function of eyelashes are to keep bugs and dirt out of delicate eyeballs. We can use our body parts for whatever we like, eyelashes can be used for flirting, for making eyes look bigger with mascara, etc. I do not have to provide a list of options for using breasts. However, whatever we do with them does not change their biological function.

As far as public breastfeeding, as long as women follow the laws of the state they are in, take proper care in covering up, and exercise common sense (ie: breastfeeding in Bistro de Paris would probably not be the classiest thing to do) they can breastfeed for as long as they like. I think baby care lounges, dressing room foyers before the bathrooms in nicer restaurants, well-shaded park benches and the like would be the most comfortable places to breastfeed.

For those who are "extended breastfeeders" I have a question: when do you feel it is appropriate to stop? I am asking because I saw an episode of Dr. Phil where a woman began breastfeeding her 6 and 7 yo's (approximate ages here, I know they were past kindergarten) when a new baby was born. I was also at a very formal luncheon where a woman was with her 5 year old daughter, both dressed very formally. The daughter ate her hamburger and then the mother proceeded to breastfeed her at the table. Do you think these situations were appropriate or inappropriate.