CaleCakes
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
- Messages
- 356
I'll chime in here- I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in Nov 2021 and had genetic testing in Dec 2021 based on family history. I was found to be BRCA1 positive, therefore my parents (and any other adult direct blood relative) were given the opportunity to test for free within 150 days of my positive test. My parents dragged their feet on it a bit and just recently sent in their samples (spit tubes) to which my fathers was returned as inconconclusive due to not enough saliva to sample. The company is sending him a new kit. Verdict is still out on mom's. They're just barely making the 150 day mark and have probably passed it at this point. I gave them the info and they did with it what they wanted. I do have 1 sibling, a brother.
We don't speak. Our relationship has never been great and came to a head about a year and a half ago. My mother told him of my diagnosis against my wishes and he sent a half hearted text back in December asking if i needed anything. I did not respond and haven't heard anything since- I want it that way. He is married and has no children (never will). I have 2 young children- I spoke to their pediatrician about the gene mutation and I will have them tested when they are of age (20 I've been told). As far as extended family, I told only a few aunts with no children. I did not reach out to cousins with children. We don't speak regularly or at all even so for me it would be very out of the blue ans awkward. I believe this is a very personal decision and one should not feel obligated to share what they do not want to share. If you don't have a relationship with your brother I support your decision not to tell him or his children.
As far as the surgeries go, I am faced with what you mention of having perfectly good tissue removed as a precaution. For me, with my children being so young, and the percentages being so high of the likelihood of developing another primary cancer, I have opted for the surgeries. My "plan" got flip flopped a few times since December and I have only had a lumpectomy (and port placement) so far. I am receiving chemo now- finished #4/16 today (yay done with the red devil
). If my numbers stay good I will have my ovaries and uterus removed May/June, finish chemo at the end of June, and have a double mastectomy with flap reconstruction end of July/early August.
This is certainly not at all how I envisioned what turning 40 would bring me. It is very dramatic at first then things calm down and it becomes routine- for me anyway. I am tolerating chemo well with very few to no side effects. I am looking forward to putting this all behind me though. Struggling with the decision of what to do is very real- there is lots to learn about all the options and long term risks/side effects. I didn't know anything about cancer treatments before i was diagnosed other than what is depicted on tv. I think taking your personal situation and thinking about your future goals and quality of life will help you make the decision that fits best for you.
I hope reading all of this and the other responses brought you some comfort.
We don't speak. Our relationship has never been great and came to a head about a year and a half ago. My mother told him of my diagnosis against my wishes and he sent a half hearted text back in December asking if i needed anything. I did not respond and haven't heard anything since- I want it that way. He is married and has no children (never will). I have 2 young children- I spoke to their pediatrician about the gene mutation and I will have them tested when they are of age (20 I've been told). As far as extended family, I told only a few aunts with no children. I did not reach out to cousins with children. We don't speak regularly or at all even so for me it would be very out of the blue ans awkward. I believe this is a very personal decision and one should not feel obligated to share what they do not want to share. If you don't have a relationship with your brother I support your decision not to tell him or his children.
As far as the surgeries go, I am faced with what you mention of having perfectly good tissue removed as a precaution. For me, with my children being so young, and the percentages being so high of the likelihood of developing another primary cancer, I have opted for the surgeries. My "plan" got flip flopped a few times since December and I have only had a lumpectomy (and port placement) so far. I am receiving chemo now- finished #4/16 today (yay done with the red devil

This is certainly not at all how I envisioned what turning 40 would bring me. It is very dramatic at first then things calm down and it becomes routine- for me anyway. I am tolerating chemo well with very few to no side effects. I am looking forward to putting this all behind me though. Struggling with the decision of what to do is very real- there is lots to learn about all the options and long term risks/side effects. I didn't know anything about cancer treatments before i was diagnosed other than what is depicted on tv. I think taking your personal situation and thinking about your future goals and quality of life will help you make the decision that fits best for you.
I hope reading all of this and the other responses brought you some comfort.