boys in toilets

[AngieUK]

We are off to WDW on Saturday and one thing that is worrying me slightly is taking my 10 year old DS who has autism into the ladies with me when he has to use the toilet. He doesn't look disabled in any way but could not handle going in the mens room alone. I would hate to have him hear any nasty comments from other females using rooms. I feel like sticking a sticker on his tee shirt saying why he would be in there!

 

[CdnDisneyNut]

Angie

You could use the companion washrooms. The washrooms are in every park. They are for people that need assistance and for people in your shoes (an oppsite sex parent with a sibling that needs assistance)

 

[SueM in MN]

There are not that many of the companion restrooms though, so you may not find one close by when he needs it. I assume you don't have a male member in your party that he could go in the men's room with. You might want to prepare a list of the companion restrooms. They are generally not listed on the park maps, so without a list, you may not find them.
You can find a list of the companion restrooms in the Guidebook for Guests with Disabilities. There is a guidebook for each park and you can get them at Guest Services. If you are staying at a WDW resort, you may be able to pick them up at the check in area of your resort.
You can find a link to the online version of the guidebooks atthis link (along with other useful info). One other thing in the guidebook that might be helpful to you is that it lists the length of time each ride/attraction lasts. It also has a little information (very little actually) to describe each ride.

 

[disneyelaine]

In this day and age, I wouldn't care HOW it looks to others! I think most woman in restrooms understand not wanting to take your eyes off your son, autistic or not. I've been to WDW 5 times last yr and got no comments from anyone re: why my 9 yr old son was in the ladies room with me. Of course I'm good at ignoring inconsiderate people.

 

[Talking Hands]

Some are not inconsiderate but have issues with having males in the ladies room older than 5 or 6. There are companion restrooms that can be used so there is really no reason for them to be in the ladies room.
For example my daughters do not like boys in the ladies room. Both have been molested in elementary school and one was raped. They are grown now but still are uncomfortable about it.
I object to these boys in the ladies room because I often find them in the handicapped stall with their mothers leaving no place for me to use. My wheelchair barely fits in some of the handicapped stalls and no way they will fit in a regular stall.

 

[disneyelaine]

Lisa, I am sorry your DD's had such an awful thing happen to them. I can understand your issue. As a parent we all try to do best to keep our kids out of harms way. And as a mom to an autistic son, I tend to be overly protective. Granted I will try to make more effort to find those family restrooms. We travel to WDW quite a bit and often I am in the parks without my husband...course if he is with us, this is not an issue.

 

[Talking Hands]

I am actually pretty protective of my autistic students when we are off on field trips. I do understand. What we do is use the companion bathroom but to allow the student their privacy if they are self sufficient in the bathroom is wait just outside the door. This way they can only come out to us and not wander off. Some of my kids don't talk although they use some sign. But they would panic if questioned and not even sign to someone they weren't familiar with. I am their regular sub. Works better that way as I know them and their quirks and they know me.
Alone in the parks I try to stick to the handicapped stalls and not use the companion bathroom as I can easily use the grab bars to transfer to the seat.

 

[momejay]

I use the companion bathroom most with my autistic son. He is only 6, but he is very big for his age. I have gotten strange looksin the ladies room, but I don't care. I'd rather know that he is safe. I've seen older "normal" boys in the ladies room. Use whatever is available.

 

[signtalker]

My son is autisitc and deaf, with various other disabilities, I always take him into the ladies toilet with me, it never enters my head to make him go into the males on his own.Granted it is difficult for some to handle, but the end of the day he is a "Child" not a gun menacing hooligan(no offense meant to anybody here with that remark), if people have a problem with it i give a polite reply back, however in WDW i never had one bad remark.

Jules

 

[LvsTnk]

When DS has to go he has to go . He has bladder and kidney problems, so we cannot always wait for a companion restroom much less find one! I do try to take him often so we don't have a problem, but guess what....it doesn't always work. One of these days there will be no way I can go to the parks without DH to take him in the mens room.

I really try to avoid any starring or comments by other people but I guess I have just given up.

 

[dpaine]

I always use the companion bathrooms with my 11 yr old autistic son. I have never had any problem with anyone. They are really a godsend. I cannot let my son go into a bathroom the size of DW bathrooms. He would get totally confused. Never mind the fact that you just don't know who else is in those bathrooms. Do what you need to do and never mind anyone else.

Deb

 

[suzysezso]

I have also been to many theme parks and take my autistic son into the ladies bathroom without a second thought. He is no threat to anyone and No one has ever questioned me because people can plainly see I keep hold of his hand and speak to him, telling him we are going to use the potty, not something you would see most 11 year old boys tolerating from their Moms. In fact I usually get undertanding smiles and kind comments if anything.
We also usually use the handicap stall because guess what- he IS handicapped. Like blue parking spaces, those stalls are not strictly for wheelchair bound folks. At home and school he uses the toilet without assistance but he is non-verbal and cannot tell me when he needs to go so when we go to a place where we don't know where or when we will be able to use the bathroom I keep him in disposable underwear. I need to go into the stall with him to change him, so regular size stalls are a last resort if I cannot get to a companion bathroom or if the handicapped stalls are in use.
As far as fear of abuse is concerned my son was also abused in his second year of school, and even if that had not happened I still would never send him into a public men's bathroom unescorted.
I don't mean to sound confrontational, it's just something I feel strongly about considering the times we live in. It's all good.

 

[Talking Hands]

I am sorry but I have to strongly disagree with you. You nad your son can get in a standard stall. With my wheelchair there is no way I can. It is common courtesy to leave the handicapped stalls open for those who truly need them. By taking a handicapped stall and taking more than the normal time (double or more) you can cause a person in a wheelchair to have an accident and wet himself. Pretty degrading and embarassing for the person who needs that stall.
I see this as a matter of need over comfort and need should come first.

 

[suzysezso]

Sorry but is IS a matter of need for me. I do not take double or in fact even as long as most people just to change my son's diaper. I have tried using a regular stall and there just isn't enough room. I'm not a contortionist. I am not being rude or inconsiderate, I'm not there to have a party just to get my disabled son's diaper changed and get out. In fact I have waited for others at least 10 times more than I have ever found anyone waiting for the booth when I left it.

 

[SueM in MN]

I guess I have to agree with suzysezso in this case.
If she had a 2 or 3 year old and was changing a diaper in the stall, I would say the regularstall should do, but an 11 year old would be hard. To my mind this would be a legitimate use of the handicapped stall so that both of them can avoid injury.

The handicapped stall is the only one that I can use with my DD, and often we can't even use that. Since she can't stand without someone holding her up, we need her wheelchair in with us, so it's not like we can use any other stall.

I don't have any problem with someone who has a disability who feels they need to use the handicapped stall. My complaint is with the people without disabilities who use it so they can change their clothes, take their 3 children in the stall with them (and then one by one use the toilet), or have extra room for their suitcases (in the airport) or purchases. Those people are usually the ones who end up taking a lot of extra time, not the susysezsos of the world who probably want to get the diaper change done ASAP and get out of there.

 

[Talking Hands]

I don't have a problem with having to change a diaper on an autistic child in the handicapped stall though I would think the companion stall would be preferable due to the large size.
But in many instances it is a matter of convenience not need.
Btw some of the handicapped stalls in MK are too small for my wheelchair to fit and also close the door.

 

[dpaine]

Talking Hands, you seem to think that we (mothers of autistic children) use handicap bathrooms as a matter of convenience, you couldn't be more wrong. The companion bathrooms are few and far between in the parks. When my son needs to go, it is that moment, not when we can find a companion bathroom. So yes I will use the handicap stalls. It would be just as degrading for my son to wet himself as it would be you.

A disability is a disability and they come in all shapes and sizes. Please be respectful of that. Let us not make anyone feel that their or their child's disability is any less than someone else's. Just my opinion.

 

[Talking Hands]

Actually I work quite often with autistic children and know what they are capable of. Most if not in diapers are well potty trained and be in a regular stall without Mom as long as Mom is on the otherside of the door. The school I work at has 12 autistic classes and on field trips we stand outside the stall while the child uses the toilet and occasionally check if they are taking too long. Normally on a field trip I will have 2 children under my direct supervison. And yes I am in the wheelchair and still can handle them.
We have one Mom with 4 autistic boys and she never uses anything but the regular stalls or companion bathroom and 2 of her boys are also blind. She amazes me.

 

[phillybeth]

...Actually I work quite often with autistic children and know what they are capable of...

Each child is different. Just becuase the children you work with in a school situation can use the bathroom themselves does not mean the same child would not need assistance elsewhere. The real problem is that there are not enough companion bathrooms for people who require assistance but not a handicapped stall.

 

[Figaro]

>The real problem is that there are not enough companion bathrooms for people who require assistance but not a handicapped stall.

I would just like to agree with the above statement. In my opinion, that is the real problem, and us arguing with each other about who has the "real" handicap and needs a handicap stall (or companion restroom) more than the other person just divides us, when what we should be arguing is for more and better handicap facilities.

I have been stunned to read the thread about handicap stalls in the debate board. Many people report that they have never seen a disabled person use the handicap stall. And they probably believe that is true, as I am one of the people who doesn't look obviously disabled, but still have to wait until a stall with grab bars are free.

While at Disney World, I have had mothers with younger children bang on the handicap stall door when I am in there, demanding that I hurry up because their children need to use the larger stall. I've had parents with large strollers refuse to move their strollers so that my wheelchair could be loaded onto the bus. I've had fathers push my wheelchair aside so that they could shove in front of me to push their stroller up the ramp to the monorail and then argue with the monorail cast members when they are asked to move to allow the wheelchair to be loaded.

I have pretty much decided not to dress up for MNSSHP, as some parents (not here) have told me that they did not want their children seeing a Disney Princess in a wheelchair, as they felt it would be upsetting to the children.

I look at this board as a bastion of sanity and kindness. A place where I can come and read about and share information on how to help make a magical place even more magical.

Thank you, all of you, as you have helped and supported me and shared of yourselves more than you know. I don't post very much, but I do read everything here.