Boys in the Girls Bathroom?

[welovedis]

Not sure but when I went to England and France and Wales--the bathrooms we utilized were single sex.

Also--I don't even like the iddy biddy gaps on the doors when a woman walks by. I like my privacy. I would be mortified to see a grown boy walking by the door.

That's interesting, because we found them in many places in France & also the Netherlands and parts of Australia as well. I even saw a few in Hawaii when we visited so watch out for those when you are visiting that great state.

 

[welovedis]

MTE.

Until recently I didn't even let my kid go in a stall alone--so my whole brood went into the large stall together.

If a boy can be tolerated in a bathroom---then 5 minutes can be tolerated of me using any stall that my family fits in so that I can keep my family safe.

And what about locations where there are only TWO choices? I'm not going to wait while Jane Doe is doing whatever business she is doing in the off chance that someone might come in and need the big potty.

It is ludicrous to expect that.

Again just a matter of courtesy I guess and it just seems that many here don't get that idea. The next time you have to change a 175 pound adult in a cramped, hot & humid, restroom (not just in WDW) because they were unable to hold it while someone else used the stall they needed, you probably just won't get it. If you think that your 5 minutes of dignity is worth more than the mobility impaired, that's where you are wrong.

And I'm not saying that no one should ever set foot in a handicapped stall, not saying that at all. If everyone was more mindful of why those stalls were created and do their business and get out, that's what I'm talking about.

Hugs to all on this thread, it certainly brings out some interesting opinions & attitudes. However, it is a real sore spot among those who have children or family members with restroom "issues" for lack of a better word.

 

[Hannathy]

I have posted seveal times that over 9 is way too old to be in the ladies room. But I do like another posters idea if you are so paranoid and overprotective that you have to bring your older son in then take him in the stall WITH YOU. I like that if you say you would be too embarrassed then I think you just answered your own question and may understand what others are saying. And if I enter a Bathroom with an 11 yr old boy and my DD you bet I will say something- probably like do you know this is a womens room?


I also see no one has found an incident at Disney in how many millions of visitors and the examples are what 7-12 yrs ago.(again in a country with how many millions) and the Beach is not an appropriate comparision to a safe controlled environment. And before the snarky comments I have children of both sexes have been taking boys to Disney for almost 20 yrs and never took him in the womens room over 7-8.

 

[robinb]

Well, I hope you won't be there when we are & run into my & DS in a restroom if that becomes necessary. You can't judge a book by its cover and my autistic son is going in with me, not because I feel I'm entitled, but because it is what is required in my situation.

My nephew is autistic. He just turned 6 and is still in diapers. I suspect that we will use the companion bathrooms for him when we go in August or my sister (or BIL) will bring him into the handicapped stall to change his diaper.

I thought it went without saying that my comments did not include those children with special needs.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

 

[grlpwrd]

... Yes, a very small percentage of children do become victims. No matter what measures we parents take to protect our children. I think that the image of the Pervert Boogie Man is a strong one in our society. That Boogie Man is fueled by the media ("If it bleeds, it leads") and some parents protective instinct is fed by the stories until the fear becomes almost irrational.

As for WDW bathrooms (not Truck Stops, for Pete's sake!) I think that children as young as 9 years old are perfectly safe being alone. I am not naive enough to believe that there are not creeps in WDW. Of course there are. There is a small percentage of pedophiles in any population. However by 9 a child understand "stranger danger" enough to yell and carry on if something happens. In addition, there are too many people in and out of a WDW bathroom that any of the possible scenarios of doom just won't happen. A child won't be snatched from inside a men's room. They won't be snatched from outside a women's room. They won't be overpowered and dragged into a stall and a man cannot ********** at the urinal looking at boys' *****es. There are plenty of men and women going in and out all the time, the vast majority of them parents, and if there is anything a predator hates it's an audience.

I know that I will not change the minds of the "Better Safe Than Sorry" set. They are too afraid by the stories of the Pervert Boogie Man to allow their kids out of their sight. I just want to make a point for those of us who worry about the things that can actually happen (like a 7 year old who wanders off and gets lost) and not a litany of "what ifs?" that paralyses some parents. I love my daughter and am concerned about her safely as much as they are concerned about their own children. Lastly, I am not a bad parent for not buying into the media's Pervert Boogie Man who lurks in every bathroom stall.

Well, I think the statistics include at least 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys in this country are sexually molested before the age of 18. 10% are abused by strangers with around 30 to 40% being abused by a family member and 50% by who they know or trust, but still 10% is a lot when it happens to you or your loved one. One is simply too many.

It's more than just the Boogie Man mentality - it's real when it happens to you or your loved one.

Hannathy, I especially recall you mentioning in another thread how you don't teach your kids to give up a seat to a woman because you feel you are teaching them women are needy. It's ironic you teach your kids not to be sexist towards women yet in your posts here you are being sexist towards boys and assuming the worst in them. I don't get it.

I have mentioned it before ... even teens have been sexually assaulted when they were alone in bathrooms without an adult even at the Y. There have been incidences of children even being assaulted while unaccompanied on airplanes. Again, once is too many. Remember, too, some assaults don't ever get reported so it does not surprise me that WDW does not have any statistics.

Geez, I can't believe people are still dissuading others from doing what is best for our children. I am also paying close attention to what the dissuaders have posted in past threads. I will say consider the source... and don't make decisions based on the World According to the DIS. lol

carry on...

ETA: As for jeepgirl's post, that is an exception. I know everyone and their granny will respond to that one. lol

 

[daisyduck123]

I take my DS with me all the time. He is 3 now but last year we were somewhere and as kids do, he peeked under the door. I didn't realize he was doing this until the lady next to me started yelling "he's looking, he's looking make him stop". I couldn't help it but burst out laughing and said 'yea but he doesn't know what he's looking at anyway lady". She was in her late 50s - 60s. Sorry but seriously at 2 he wouldn't get the difference between Pam Anderson or Oprah in the bathroom.

I would have been more polite about it & not have yelled, but I would have said something to you too, about your son peeking under the door. And you laughing about it would have made me not-so-polite anymore. Everyone needs to respect other peoples rights to privacy.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

 

[mrsltg]

The problem is (how surprising) no one is listening. Most people don't care a whole lot about a YOUNG boy in the ladies room. However, go at it with the attitude of "It's my right" and you're going to encounter difficulty. In fact, it's not your right. It is a bathroom for females. Unless your son suddenly grows female genetalia, he does not belong there. Have some respect for the people who do belong there. Instead of being obstinate, appreciate the fact that you are invading someone else's privacy. Don't say things like, "I don't care if you are uncomfortable" because you will likely draw a response of similar intelligence. Once again, just respect people and things go MUCH better.

I can appreciate the concern for safety and I do agree that we as parents need to be vigilant. As you are vigilant for your son, I will be vigilant for my daughter.

 

[Hannathy]

I am not assuming the worst in boys, I am assuming normal sexual development and modesty. Girls do not want boys looking at them using the Bathroom nor do 11 yr old boys want girls watching them. And you are right I am not teaching boys to give up seats for a woman because she is a woman but to give up a seat for anyone who NEEDS it for a true reason. Actually YOU are assuming the worst in people that a 11 yr old boy won't be safe in a bathroom at Disney and are teaching your children to fear everyone but Mommy and have no independence or self esteem and confidence. When do they learn to be aware of their surroundings- when it really matters- it is too late then. Again I ask for proof. If 10% of 1 in 6 (your statistics, not mine) of the millions of children were being assaulted do you really believe Disney could hide it?
I do wonder how independent an 11 yr old boy is who agrees to go into a Ladies room with his Mother. Again like another poster said take him in the stall with you, and I can gaurantee you they are not admitting to their friends at school that they had to go in the womens room at Disney with their Mom.

 

[welovedis]

My nephew is autistic. He just turned 6 and is still in diapers. I suspect that we will use the companion bathrooms for him when we go in August or my sister (or BIL) will bring him into the handicapped stall to change his diaper.

I thought it went without saying that my comments did not include those children with special needs.

My point is that you have no idea (for sure) which kids have special needs and which don't. You'd have no idea by looking at my DS standing at the front of the restroom that he's got AS, that's what I'm trying to say.

 

[Va-bear]

HI again!

Great, great discussion - very educational. I really think some of you are giving this great thought - how cool. Like I love the analysis of the overprotective mom - ofcourse, the parent loves the child (but at what cost....) But in the end giving tons of love is the most important thing! I love the perspective that Lulu gave on that - thanks so much! And SO SO true Lulu that on the rare occasions these things do happen it could be a kid OR an adult...so lets teach our kids to have good senses about them, not GUARD them. It will serve them well. And, yes, use common sense - if your kid, at 3, isnt ready to stand outside of the stall w/ feet showing wiat until 4 or 5 (but dont wait until 8....think age appropriate...) At the boring department store let them wait on the bench outside the door - at the state park w/ the dark dirty bathrooms that give you the creeps, have them come in with you. Even those decision making processes help teach your kid learn what "looks" right and what doesn't.

Have fun!!!

 

[welovedis]

the REASON I am so passioante on these threads related to children is because I *OBVIOUSLY* no more than about 90% of you WHACKOS (ppl who take their 10 year olds into womens restrooms, people who go to the front desk and possible institute a CPS investigation because a child walked out of a hotel room). People liketh is are messing UP their children, and guess who has to deal with it day in and day out.

If you saw HALF of the messed up kids I see EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. you'd be pretty pissed about what people are doing to these kids too.



Oh, and whomever it was with the list of (what 5?) incidents, all those incidences, two of which I am intimately familiar with, happened while a parent was otherwise occupied, GAMBLING, BOWLING etc. Not being vigilant.

But theres a difference between vigilance and overprotectiveness.

See your kids soon in my office probably!~!!!!

Wow, I cannot believe after reading your posts that you are involved in helping anyone in any way. Perhaps it is just the written word and not the spoken one, but the tone of your posts is really immature, IMO.

I think most everyone else here is being pretty respectful about their posts on this subject, which always draws passionate responses and I'm grateful to those who share their opinions, even if they differ from mine, because I can always learn from them.

Can't say the same for your responses.

And to clarify, I do not think the older boys should be in the same stall as the parent of the opposite sex. Mine does his business in his own stall and then waits by the sink or the front area near the entrance, but since I'm usually done before him it is not an issue.

 

[welovedis]

And you are right I am not teaching boys to give up seats for a woman because she is a woman but to give up a seat for anyone who NEEDS it for a true reason..

I know this is OT, but how do you teach him how to determine true need? Just curious?

I've always tried to teach DS to give up his seat whenever possible, sometimes on the buses he can't because of his sense of balance, but otherwise he typically does this for any adult. It is actually something he is taught in his life skills program in regarding to respect adults. But I'm interested in what criteria you'd use to determine how much someone needs a seat.

 

[gardendame]

My point is that you have no idea (for sure) which kids have special needs and which don't. You'd have no idea by looking at my DS standing at the front of the restroom that he's got AS, that's what I'm trying to say.

I think we get your point!!! You have an autistic son, therefore your circumstances are different. This is NOT what the OP was talking about. This thread is not about YOU and YOUR situation.

This is not about a 6 year old special needs child!

10 years old is TOO OLD to be dragged by Mommy's umbilical cord into the GIRLS bathroom. As I posted before, I have 3 DSs and 1 DD, so this issue is not one that I personally have not dealt with. Since we have established that there ARE companion bathrooms in WDW, then those parents who insist on humiliating and embarrassing their sons need to use those restrooms. They will have plenty of company in there with the mothers who insist on breastfeeding their kindergartener!

Keep the pre-teen (naturally curious) boys out of my DDs restroom. The 'in your face' attitude of some of the mothers here deserves some backlash. If someone asks that boy to leave, and the mother either laughs or refuses, then security needs to be called. I think it is horrible that a mother would subject her son to such humiliation.

Use the companion restrooms if paranoia is an issue, or allow him to stand outside the door.

Good grief, this isn't a competition to see who here is the better parent! The goal of a good parent should be to raise a happy, WELL ADJUSTED child. Too many perverts and serial killers had issues because they had FREAKS for MOTHERS!

 

[robinb]

Well, I think the statistics include at least 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys in this country are sexually molested before the age of 18. 10% are abused by strangers with around 30 to 40% being abused by a family member and 50% by who they know or trust, but still 10% is a lot when it happens to you or your loved one. One is simply too many.

It's more than just the Boogie Man mentality - it's real when it happens to you or your loved one.

Like I said, I don't expect to change the minds of people such as yourself whose "Stranger Danger" and "Better Safe Than Sorry" fear is so ingrained in them.

Adults were the offender in 60% of the sexual assaults of youth under age 12. Rarely were the offenders of young victims strangers. Strangers were the offender in just 3% of sexual assaults against victims under age 6 and 5% of the sexual assault of victimizations of youth ages 6 through 11.
-Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement,
7/00, NCJ 182990, U.S. Department of Justice

Every instance of child abuse is a tragedy. Whether it happens to my child, your child or a child we do not know. We can do our best to protect and nuture our children. However, wrapping them in bubble wrap is simply not an option for me.

 

[robinb]

My point is that you have no idea (for sure) which kids have special needs and which don't. You'd have no idea by looking at my DS standing at the front of the restroom that he's got AS, that's what I'm trying to say.

As he has special needs then you should avail yourself of the compainion restrooms as often as you can. Honestly you are a minority here. Most of the parents of pre-teen boys who bring them into the women's bathroom are doing so because they are afraid.

 

[hentob]

the REASON I am so passioante on these threads related to children is because I *OBVIOUSLY* no more than about 90% of you WHACKOS (ppl who take their 10 year olds into womens restrooms, people who go to the front desk and possible institute a CPS investigation because a child walked out of a hotel room). People liketh is are messing UP their children, and guess who has to deal with it day in and day out.

If you saw HALF of the messed up kids I see EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. you'd be pretty pissed about what people are doing to these kids too.



Oh, and whomever it was with the list of (what 5?) incidents, all those incidences, two of which I am intimately familiar with, happened while a parent was otherwise occupied, GAMBLING, BOWLING etc. Not being vigilant.

But theres a difference between vigilance and overprotectiveness.

See your kids soon in my office probably!~!!!!

You obliviously "no" more than who?!?!?! You are now calling people "Whackos". Seriously--I think you are fibbing. I don't think you have an office. I don't believe for one minute you are an educated/degree holding/licensed psychologist. Who in the world would allow you alone with a child? You have admitted that you would try to embarrass a child if a parent took him into a ladies' room. No matter what your stance is on this subject, or how "passioante" you are on this subject, why on earth would you attempt to shame a child?

Again, you work with children?

To be honest with you, I feel your run on the DIS may soon be coming to an end. So enjoy calling people names while you can

 

[robinb]

I just want to please ask the name callers on my side of the issue to cut it out! You are making us all look foolish.

 

[traviesojmt]

I think we get your point!!! You have an autistic son, therefore your circumstances are different. This is NOT what the OP was talking about. This thread is not about YOU and YOUR situation.

This is not about a 6 year old special needs child!

10 years old is TOO OLD to be dragged by Mommy's umbilical cord into the GIRLS bathroom. As I posted before, I have 3 DSs and 1 DD, so this issue is not one that I personally have not dealt with. Since we have established that there ARE companion bathrooms in WDW, then those parents who insist on humiliating and embarrassing their sons need to use those restrooms. They will have plenty of company in there with the mothers who insist on breastfeeding their kindergartener!

Keep the pre-teen (naturally curious) boys out of my DDs restroom. The 'in your face' attitude of some of the mothers here deserves some backlash. If someone asks that boy to leave, and the mother either laughs or refuses, then security needs to be called. I think it is horrible that a mother would subject her son to such humiliation.

Use the companion restrooms if paranoia is an issue, or allow him to stand outside the door.

Good grief, this isn't a competition to see who here is the better parent! The goal of a good parent should be to raise a happy, WELL ADJUSTED child. Too many perverts and serial killers had issues because they had FREAKS for MOTHERS!

Wow, this thread has definitely turned ugly now. If this isn't an "in your face attitude", I don't know what is. You are certainly allowed to your opinion, but you have really crossed the line with your post. It may not be a competition to see who the better parent might be, but you certainly tried to make it so as you were calling other parents FREAKS. I have not idea why you seem so angry by this topic, but I do not think it appropriate to become so hostile at other posters.