Boy in Kindergarden bothering grandaughter

[padams]

I think he likes her. Your DGD could take a different route and have him over for a playdate. Your DD would then be able to talk to him about what is appropriate.Turn him into a real friend. Your DD would also get the chance to meet his parent(s). If the playdate invitation is turned down, it would be easy to work into a phone conversation, "oh, Minnie likes Mickey but she gets frustrated when he... I thought if I could get the kids together outside of school, it would help their friendship."

Also, your DD needs to find out what, if anything, DGD is doing to encourage this boy's actions. In these scenarios, there are usually 2 sides to the story. If it were my child, the first question, I'd ask is "yes, Mickey is picking on you, but what are you doing to him to make him pick on you?"

 

[mhsjax]

I think he likes her. Your DGD could take a different route and have him over for a playdate. Your DD would then be able to talk to him about what is appropriate.Turn him into a real friend. Your DD would also get the chance to meet his parent(s). If the playdate invitation is turned down, it would be easy to work into a phone conversation, "oh, Minnie likes Mickey but she gets frustrated when he... I thought if I could get the kids together outside of school, it would help their friendship."

Also, your DD needs to find out what, if anything, DGD is doing to encourage this boy's actions. In these scenarios, there are usually 2 sides to the story. If it were my child, the first question, I'd ask is "yes, Mickey is picking on you, but what are you doing to him to make him pick on you?"

deleted. Not my issue.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

It's possible the teacher can't do anything. If he is a special needs stupid with an IEP or other type of plan, they may not be able to do anything.

It stinks for the other kids. My dd was being harrased in kinder by a boy that was special needs, the teacher did what she could but there wasn't much that could be done. So I demanded they were not in class again the following year and my request was allowed.

Why would you call a child "a special needs stupid" and how do you define that statement?

 

[Hillbeans]

Why would you call a child "a special needs stupid" and how do you define that statement?

I am thinking PP meant "student"...?

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Why would you call a child "a special needs stupid" and how do you define that statement?

I'm pretty sure they meant to say student, but it is one hell of a typo.

Let's not get too worked up. By junior high, I couldn't even remember most of the kids in my kindergarten class and could not tell you anything major that happened. At that age most little girls are not overly embarassed by being seen without a shirt. Not to say that it was not a big deal- it was a big deal and needs to be treated as such. But to say that such an event would be traumatizing is probably a little extreme.

Hopefully something positive will come out of the meeting tomorrow. OP, I know it sucks thinking about moving rooms in the middle of the year, but it may be something you need to consider if after going to the principal this is not resolved. At the very least, I would make sure that next year you request that they not be in the same class.

 

[kellyg403]

I am confused as to why your dd has not gone to the school in person and expressed her thought/feelings on this subject? The little boy should not be touching anyone but may not understand 'why' this is a problem.

I am not in anyway condoning this little boys behavior, nor am I saying how it is being handled is wrong. I just know if it were me, I sent a note and the behavior continued and my child was sufferring from it I would be taking said child to school and speaking with teacher in person.

Kelly

 

[kellyg403]

I'm pretty sure they meant to say student, but it is one hell of a typo.

Let's not get too worked up. By junior high, I couldn't even remember most of the kids in my kindergarten class and could not tell you anything major that happened. At that age most little girls are not overly embarassed by being seen without a shirt. Not to say that it was not a big deal- it was a big deal and needs to be treated as such. But to say that such an event would be traumatizing is probably a little extreme.

Hopefully something positive will come out of the meeting tomorrow. OP, I know it sucks thinking about moving rooms in the middle of the year, but it may be something you need to consider if after going to the principal this is not resolved. At the very least, I would make sure that next year you request that they not be in the same class.

I thought the same...serious typo or spelling issue.

And I also agree with the maturity issue and 'traumatized' at this age is a little extreme without knowing what that means. There are various stages of pulling a shirt up and maybe it wasn't full show everything hanging out version?

Hopefully it can be resolved, and if the little girl has to move, her safety is priority if you feel she is being bullied. It will give her a good excuse to have a mini 'paydate' every so often and usually they get to play together at recess. Good LUck to you and your dd!



Kelly

 

[IUTBAM]

If it were my child, I would have been speaking to the principal after the first time the teacher ignored my note. What that boy is doing constitutes harassment, bullying, and (with the shirt issue), sexual harassment. It should not be tolerated in ANY way, shape or form. Seriously, you will be doing this boy a FAVOR by making an issue of it now, when he's YOUNG, so hopefully he can change, and your DGD can learn in a good environment. His behavior is 100% unacceptable!

Send an email to the principal using the words harassment and bullying...schools (IMHO) do not take these situations lightly. That boy needs a "come to jesus" talk from someone, at the very LEAST!

 

[penn19]

I think he likes her. Your DGD could take a different route and have him over for a playdate. Your DD would then be able to talk to him about what is appropriate.Turn him into a real friend. Your DD would also get the chance to meet his parent(s). If the playdate invitation is turned down, it would be easy to work into a phone conversation, "oh, Minnie likes Mickey but she gets frustrated when he... I thought if I could get the kids together outside of school, it would help their friendship."

Also, your DD needs to find out what, if anything, DGD is doing to encourage this boy's actions. In these scenarios, there are usually 2 sides to the story. If it were my child, the first question, I'd ask is "yes, Mickey is picking on you, but what are you doing to him to make him pick on you?"

Oh no you didn't . This is part of the problem. There are some kids who are just mean. Please let's not have the blame the victim mentality. All that does is excuse the kid.

 

[happygirl]

How do you know that nothing was done? I wouldn't believe the word of a kindergarten

 

[Eeyore5]

Oh no you didn't . This is part of the problem. There are some kids who are just mean. Please let's not have the blame the victim mentality. All that does is excuse the kid.

So true. Teaching children that a person who is being mean to you likes you sends the wrong message to both children involved.

 

[MoniqueU]

What springs to mind for me is a child that kept ending up in my DD's class year after year. They were gate so they ended up together. This kid had the same behavior as the kid the OPs only it was in 6th grade!! Same thing, stalking, throwing chaires, hooks, packpacks, papers. The kid was classified as whatever and the school knew all about it. His mom would actually be the one calling in about how her kid was teased and so forth and made the reacher and principals life a living hell. My dd would come home each day with a new story about the kid. I told my dd that he was special needs and just deal with in and don't get in trouble. She finally just ignoreed me and started keeping her own journal of the crap this kid did to her. She got in trouble for that. I believe either my mom, my husband or myself got the call but we basically said you put up with him and his stuff but our kid has to be an angel? Things finally got so tough with him that his mom pulled him to homeschool him or put him in an alternative school or something. The mom through an absolute fit when the tables were turned on her kid. This keeping kids in school at the detriment of others because they are "special" or classified or whatever it is has got to stop.The DD that it happened to is now in 8th grade and after a little perspective she knows if anyone lays a hand on her to take them out as well. I only only came to this conclusion trying the gentler softer way with my son, who eventually bulked up and beat the crap out of a kid who was bothering him in Catholic school, it was the same punishment as if you didn't retaliate in public schools.

 

[mhsjax]

What springs to mind for me is a child that kept ending up in my DD's class year after year. They were gate so they ended up together. This kid had the same behavior as the kid the OPs only it was in 6th grade!! Same thing, stalking, throwing chaires, hooks, packpacks, papers. The kid was classified as whatever and the school knew all about it. His mom would actually be the one calling in about how her kid was teased and so forth and made the reacher and principals life a living hell. My dd would come home each day with a new story about the kid. I told my dd that he was special needs and just deal with in and don't get in trouble. She finally just ignoreed me and started keeping her own journal of the crap this kid did to her. She got in trouble for that. I believe either my mom, my husband or myself got the call but we basically said you put up with him and his stuff but our kid has to be an angel? Things finally got so tough with him that his mom pulled him to homeschool him or put him in an alternative school or something. The mom through an absolute fit when the tables were turned on her kid. This keeping kids in school at the detriment of others because they are "special" or classified or whatever it is has got to stop.The DD that it happened to is now in 8th grade and after a little perspective she knows if anyone lays a hand on her to take them out as well. I only only came to this conclusion trying the gentler softer way with my son, who eventually bulked up and beat the crap out of a kid who was bothering him in Catholic school, it was the same punishment as if you didn't retaliate in public schools.

Yeah, that softer, gentler crap doesn't work does it? Bully's only know one thing a good kick in the butt or anywhere else. Until then they just keep pushing.

 

[Minnie]

It's possible the teacher can't do anything. If he is a special needs stupid with an IEP or other type of plan, they may not be able to do anything.

WOW what a horrible thing to write about any child

 

[Tinijocaro]

What to do? My grandaughter is in Kindergarden. There is a boy in her class that will not leave her alone. He bothers her every day and teacher does nothing. My DIL has sent several notes to teacher and no response. this boy pulls her hair, has put glue in her hair, tried to cut her hair and now in class he pulled her shirt up! The teacher has done nothing. My DIL says the kid in a monster and she has seen him uncontrolable. what choices do we have? the school siad we can have her moved to another class. NO she has friends in that class just not this boy, shouldn't he be moved. any advice?

You go in and speak to administration immediately. Sorry but you should moe her to another class. She will make friends in the other class. No way they are going to move the troublemaker into another class.

 

[MickeyBA]

Is there one of these kids in every school? My oldest had one. She singled my daughter out because she wasn't a fighter. I actually heard about it from other moms when they were up at school witnessing the bullying. I asked my daughter and she said she didn't complain to a teacher because she didn't want to tattle and she felt sorry for the bully because she didn't have any friends. Well, duh!

I can have all the sympathy in the world for these kids issues and still not be okay with other kids being put in the position to have to deal with it when they are themselves no where near mature enough.

By the 2nd grade my daughter witnessed desks being thrown, papers being torn up, the girl trying to stab others with a pencil, stealing from her classmates and then licking the items so she wouldn't have to return it...... The list goes on. I refused to have my daughter in class with her by the 3rd grade. 3 years was enough and I was done dealing with it.

It is extremely unfair that your grandaughter may have to move classes and I would fight all you can, but at the end of the day if it's the only option I would take it. She will make friends in the new class. And next year refuse to have them in class together.

My daughter is a middle schooler now. The child has moved away and come back. The problem really solves itself as the kids mature and distance themselves from the problem child. It's so much more difficult when they are young and forced to be in groups with kids like this.

Good luck!

 

[Minnie]

Op what a tough way to start school

If the teacher is not listening then it's time to take this to the principal

 

[rie'smom]

It's possible the teacher can't do anything. If he is a special needs stupid with an IEP or other type of plan, they may not be able to do anything.

It stinks for the other kids. My dd was being harrased in kinder by a boy that was special needs, the teacher did what she could but there wasn't much that could be done. So I demanded they were not in class again the following year and my request was allowed.

Did you mean to say stupid? If you did, then all I can say is shame on you.
If you didn't, then please disregard the scolding.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

does your grandaughter have a slightly older cousin that could "talk" to the lil boy. this is how I handled it when a boy was doing something very similar to my cousin, she was in 3rd or 4th grade, came home with a busted lip, I was in 5th i believe. I slapped him around a little, but he left her alone.
Violence is the only thing some people (young and old) understand.

 

[bumbershoot]

So true. Teaching children that a person who is being mean to you likes you sends the wrong message to both children involved.

But, especially at this age, it can be SO TRUE. Decades ago this boy might have been putting her pigtails in the inkwell. It might just be his way of getting her attention, but because he's just a little kid he doesn't know what the heck he is doing.

I've watched this awkward stuff between my son and a few girls that he's in classes with at the Y. They are all the same age (6), they make googly eyes at each other (the girls to him, him to the girls), and do odd things (nothing of the OP's post's level, but they aren't in *school* class with each other) to get each other to notice the other.

When I was K age, I took a cooking class with my mom, and there was a boy who, I learned from my mom later, adored me. He used to chase me around and around the class. I didn't have fun, I didn't really understand. One day he took a turn too fast, fell, and broke his collarbone. That stopped it.

As I got older, in retrospect there were lots of "I don't know what to do with my being" moments as I liked boys and boys liked me. I once accidentally hit a large bag of skittles out of a boy's hands when we were in 7th grade...I adored the boy, but my hands just went out of control, and the skittles went everywhere. And he was then angry with me. (about a year later he did something similarly brainless when he said a "joke" that was actually an incredibly inappropriate thing as he and some of our classmates came over to my house to work on a project, and my mom heard, aughhhh so he got embarrassed about that one)

I remember being older in elementary school and avoiding wearing a bra (that I needed) b/c the way that boys showed they liked you was to snap your bra. (also how girls tortured each other)

Would I want my son to snap a bra, accidentally knock a bag of candy out of a hand, chase a kid around the room? No. [Of course that middle one was an accident when I did it, hard to keep from happening (oh I'm still embarrassed about that moment).]

But I'd also hate to think that some brainless things he might do from an innocent place might get him into huge trouble when he's just barely started school. (if he were to keep it up, yep, trouble, but not at the beginning!)


If a girl were doing these things to my son, I'd prefer to get to the bottom of it, instead of rushing to punish the kid or say bad things about her.