I know that 47 hours + 3 1/2 drafts - 2 nights of sleep + 8 doses of Vivarin X 6, no 10, wait 18 very large and freakin' strong cocktails ÷ a dozen trips to the bathroom = a completely average vettechick trip report. But if I were you, I'd take what I could get at this point.
Before we begin, let's jog those memories with a recap the trip with a photo montage of the important events.
Half naked Kory
Shipwrecks
Beer
Free beer!
Once more for the lushes.
Cheese!
Champagne!
Japanese Beer & Sake
Slop
Onion train
Jaeger Bombs
Yup, that just about covers the highlights. So let's move onto the story...
If you recall, it had been quite a morning at Disney's Animal Kingdom. In our short time there, a primate flashed us his goods, we had a DISmeet shorter than the line at the Swiss Family Treehouse (I mean really, who goes on that?), and we grubbed on some of the zoo's finest offerings. That peacock we roasted in the aviary sure was tasty!
So after our lunch, Kory agrees to the idea of heading back to the resort for some R&R by the pool. And if Kory is tossed unwillingly into some communal water, so be it.
And if a couple Shipwrecks are tossed down my throat, so be that!
We board a bus and snag a seat in the front. On the ride back, I'm smiling, secretly giddy with excitement. I've won, I've won, I've won! It may not be Blizzard Beach, but getting him into SAB is a huge step! If all goes well, in less than 30 minutes time, I'll be boozin' and bakin' pool-side and he'll be swimming with hairy English guys in fushia-colored leopard speedos. Also known as Kevin Stringer.
We arrive safely at the Beach Club compound and stroll up the walkway. Only by chance do I happen to look up at the sky and what do I see but freakin' rain clouds! Oh that's just fabulous. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I
would be a fantastic crime fighter - I even have the meager yet amazingly versatile leotard! It's pink with a picture of martini on the front and it says "Just Fabulous!" across the chest...
Oh, sorry, I got carried away there. I always wanted a super power, but not the totally useless ones like time travel or invisibility. You can count on me to be the only Superhero that turns water into any alcoholic beverage! Just send for me by turning your empty shot glass over on the bar and weeping.
I have a feeling I'd be quite popular in some circles.
We make it upstairs and I run into the bathroom and don my bikini (skimpy is so in this Summer). Over in the kitchenette, I hear Kory making us a couple drinks.
Ok 4.
Alright, 6! It's afternoon already, we have lots of catching up to do!
While he changes, I rush throughout the room gathering up all our pool essentials - money for cocktails, ID for cocktails, camera to take pictures of cocktails. One not anymore important than the other.
We make our way out of the Villas and through the BC lobby, weaving in and out of people wearing clothes and stuff. Although it's perfectly acceptable for me to wear a swimsuit and cover-up, I can't help but feel I'm two thigh-high boots away from being mistaken for Vivian at the Regent Beverly Wilshire.
Sheepishly, I quickly scurry out the back patio door which empties us directly into the SAB area. We show our IDs for wristbands and snag a couple towels.
Ok, 4.
Alright, 6! Trash and towel every fourth day? Come on!
We walk around the pool, scouting prime real estate. In resort-poolspeak that means the very best spots are close to the snack bar, but void of any rugrats. These are coveted spots and extremely hard to find, As you know, children are to snack bars as bugs are to light. Not unlike vettechick and the other kind of bar.
Kory finds us two lounge chairs over the bridge, near the spa, so I lay claim with the towels. I take a moment to stash a few belongings underneath. Oh, just the usual - my cover-up, our flip flops, camera, cash, IDs, room cards, W-2s, credit reports, social security cards with mothers' maiden names scribbled on the back, my diary, and $47,000 in marked bills stolen from the Kissimmee Wachovia. Just some random and totally insignificant stuff.
We turn and face the pool, surveying the area. The pool is so vast, we feel the need to do some recon first.
Should we get in here or there? There or here? I don't know what to do, there are so many options, my head's gonna explode!!
After walking around, we eventually end up back at our original spot, which has remained marco-polo free. I sit at the edge of the pool, unsure and reluctant to get in. Sugar melts, ya know!
Kory, to my surprise, jumps right on it and floats to the surface. You know what
that means. P-U!
He calls back to me, Its not cold, get in. This sand is freaky.
I'm apprehensive, but slowly slide into the pool (I didn't float or melt, hmmm). Wow, this sand
is freaky! After we do some laps (hehe, laps. Good one), we decide to try out the spa. We are lucky to find the spa not only comfortable temp-wise, but also comfortable empty-wise. No rude adults, no obnoxious teens, no splashing kids.
We relax and chit-chat about our plans for the night. We are meeting up with Dennis and Jenine, my 'net friend from Jersey. We're doing MK together, but before that he has very important dinner plans with somewhat of a Disney celebrity - Mike Scopa from
Mouseplanet: The magic... made easy!.
He'd been talking about it forever, so I was happy my days of constantly hearing "We're having dinner with Mike S! You know, Mike S. from Mouseplanet!" were almost over.
After a few minutes, we notice another couple with a child heading up the spa pathway. Yeah! I just love meeting new people when I've been drinking. Meet me sober at the check-out line and I'm one big bore. But pour a couple beverages in me and I'll give you the shirt off my back. Sometimes literally.
Just kidding. I was never in a sorority.
Anyway, the couple was very interesting and their girl well behaved. In our short time together, we talked about Disney, our hometowns and careers. Eventually, we part ways, saying good-bye and waving to the little girl.
As we leave the spa area, Kory turns around and we confer. Well what about? Ok, well then how about? I don't know, I was arrested for that once. How about? Ok, yes.
Off to the slide we go, walking around the pool and onto the YC/BC Epcot walkway. It's truly amazing how you can go from appropriately to inappropriately dressed in 4.7 steps.
Climbing to the top of the ship, Im taunting him.
Youre going DOWN, my friend, I jab.
This isnt a race, theres only one slide, Kory replies.
Oh, Right. Youre still going down. Ya know, gravity and all that.
Just go, he pleads.
I push myself off and scream all the way down. The screaming was more to scare Kory back up top, not because Im scared. Really.
The slide dumps me into the pool where I choke back about 4 liters of communal water. A few seconds later Kory splashes out and swims over to me to confer once again. Again? Not really. So how about? Nah, I prefer goats. Shipwreck? Definitely!
We race over to our belongings (whew, still there safe under the towel), gather up our towels and pool accessories, and skip to the bar, pushing small children and slow grannies out of our way.
We order a Shipwreck and Margarita and wander around, enjoying the peaceful afternoon. We walk over to the beach and thinking this is a great photo op, I ask a passerby to take a picture.
She did a great job - got all four lounge chairs in!
Just as we are thanking her, peaceful turns to crapful as the bottom falls out. I take off like a bat outta hell and run for cover.
"Why did you run?" Kory asks, implying the obvious.
Huh? Oh right. Duh.
Under the awning, we wait out the Florida storm.
"Its a good thing I have this Margarita to occupy my time".
"Its a good thing I have this camera to occupy my time".
In the words of JJ, this phone is Dy-no-mite!
Instead of waiting out the rain, we make a run for the lobby, only to run straight into Her. Her being She-Who-Makes-My-Day. Standing in the doorway is a lady handing out towels to the soaked people. Yes, I love her. Just call me Allison-Cheddar-Lagoon-DisneyTee-TowelHanderOuter.
We graciously thank her and quickly head to the villas, shivering the entire way. Once in our room, we discard our wet clothing, get showered up for our late evening at the MK, and mix a drink. With an evening of Dennis ahead of me, I need all the help I can get.
One last vacation math equation:
1 Mr. & Mrs. Vettechick + those 18 cocktails - 1 night of sleep = a Baby Vettechick. That's right, folks. Next time the Vettechicks are at Disney they'll be toting a tiny tot with them. Sure will make for a different kind of boozin' and grubbin'!