Bizarre, Creepy Incident w/My DD and Potential Pervert (long)

[Tigger&Belle]

If I were going to comment on anything I would comment on him bringing her into a different room without your permission. That's the only thing that you know for a fact that he did wrong. You have a gut feeling about other things, which may be on the mark and I don't know that I would bring my child back there (or would keep her close to me), but he didn't do anything for sure.

He was not wise in what he did. I love children and am very much drawn to them. I know that I would never do anything to hurt a child. I also would not put myself in a situation with a child who I do not know where I could be accused of anything improper.

 

[jcsbama]

I was gonna say the same thing that a few other posters said. I have a daughter that is 2. If I was gonna use a copier to copy her hands, I would have to hold her in the manner you described. There just isn't any other way without breaking my back and my arms hurting. Seriously, it sounds like the guy was just being nice. He came out, saw you trying to sign papers and probably trying to watch your daughter. I think he was just trying to help you out.

 

[ozarkmom]

He shouldn't have taken your daughter to another room without asking you. The way you describe him holding her though sounds like the way I held my bosses grandson when he was little and wanted to make pictures of his hands.

 

[va32h]

I was gonna say the same thing that a few other posters said. I have a daughter that is 2. If I was gonna use a copier to copy her hands, I would have to hold her in the manner you described. There just isn't any other way without breaking my back and my arms hurting. Seriously, it sounds like the guy was just being nice. He came out, saw you trying to sign papers and probably trying to watch your daughter. I think he was just trying to help you out.

And in order to take a copy of her hands he would need to hold her up in front of him surely?

In reading these two responses, it made me think...why did this guy choose a method of "entertaining" my daughter that required him to touch her in this manner.

He could have talked to her, or played patty-cake, or given her a pencil and some paper to draw on. But he chose to make copies of her hands -hardly the first thing I would think of to amuse a toddler - but an activity that required him to leave the room, and hold her and press up against her.

That makes me more suspicious.

And for the record, my daughter was not fussing or crying or in any way causing a disturbance or even acting bored. She was looking around the office, while patiently waiting for me. I didn't say or do anything to anyone to indicate that I was having a problem keeping an eye on her and signing the papers.

 

[preshi]

YUCK! That sounds completely pervy to me. After seeing that Dateline special I don't trust anyone, esp soemone who would take a very young child out of her parents eyesight without asking. My Mommy "Sicko Alert" went off too.

 

[beckmrk04]

In reading these two responses, it made me think...why did this guy choose a method of "entertaining" my daughter that required him to touch her in this manner.

He could have talked to her, or played patty-cake, or given her a pencil and some paper to draw on. But he chose to make copies of her hands -hardly the first thing I would think of to amuse a toddler - but an activity that required him to leave the room, and hold her and press up against her.

That makes me more suspicious.
.

Honestly, and I am not trying to be rude or flame, but this post seems like your mind is working a bit overtime.

Yesterday I was working (I'm a receptionist) and a little guy about 3 yrs old came around the desk and was talking to me, and I pulled him onto my lap and let him draw on paper while his mom got her hair cut. He was happy as could be. I didn't even *think* about it, to be honest- I have two nieces around that age, and I watch a lot of people's kids, and it was just a very natural thing for me to do.

And like I and other posters have said- maybe he or another person at the firm has kids and they really liked making copies of their hands, and he thought your dd would too.

I totally, TOTALLY understand your concern and reaction, but it really could have been very innocent, and nothing happened. Your daughter is safe and sound, and you now know to be wary, but don't jump to conclusions just because he held your daughter. I know you are creeped out, to me it really does sound innocent. It's not like he didn't know you were right around the corner. ANd he was only taking copies of her hands- which he didn't keep,right? And he didn't take "pictures" of any other body parts?

Chalk it up to experience, but don't overanalyze it.

 

[SandiH]

I too think your mind is working overtime.

I'm wondering though why you didn't stop him from taking her out of the room if you weren't comfortable with that?

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I have to say the way you described him holding her sounds like me and other members of my family way of doing it also===I don't know how many times with my kids(I have 4) I have lifted them up and smooshed them into the counter with my body while washing their hands and face at the kitchen sink while standing at the counter in a bank or even just as he had done to make copies of their hands at the library.

It more than likely was harmless and just someone who thought he was being helpful by giving you a couple of minutes to do what you needed to without having to deal with your DD.

If you truly felt uncomfortable with him being around your DD then just don't bring her the next time or keep her on your lap and not let her wander around the office

I would not call the office and put a bug in his bosses ear over something that was more than likely innocent and could ruin his career just keep it to yourself and take other measures the next time you need to go there.

 

[MareSINY]

In reading these two responses, it made me think...why did this guy choose a method of "entertaining" my daughter that required him to touch her in this manner.

He could have talked to her, or played patty-cake, or given her a pencil and some paper to draw on. But he chose to make copies of her hands -hardly the first thing I would think of to amuse a toddler - but an activity that required him to leave the room, and hold her and press up against her.

That makes me more suspicious.

And for the record, my daughter was not fussing or crying or in any way causing a disturbance or even acting bored. She was looking around the office, while patiently waiting for me. I didn't say or do anything to anyone to indicate that I was having a problem keeping an eye on her and signing the papers.

Please don't take this wrong, I'm not trying to sound snobbish or anything like that. Have you ever worked in an office? One of the best ways to entertain a kid in an office is to make copies of their hands, and some times (if they know enough to close their eyes) their face. I'm a single woman with no kids of my own, but I do like kids and enjoy playing with them. When someone has a kid in the office I tend to gravitate towards them, running around and acting silly and doing things that I think the kids will enjoy.

I don't think this man had any perverted plans with your daughter, but then again in this day and age you never can be 100% certain of that. But from what you described it sounds as if he's done the same sort of thing with his own kids, or with kids in the office in the past. He probably thought your daughter would get a kick out of it and so that's why he did it.

I don't think he should have taken your daughter out of sight without your permission, but he probably never thought he was doing something that would upset you. Honestly, I think if you were that uneasy with her walking away with this man (and I don't blame you for feeling uneasy about your daughter walking off with a stranger) than you should have spoken up immediately and said something like, "I'm sorry, I'd rather she stays here where I can keep an eye on her." And if he persisted you could have said either that you aren't comfortable (mothers perogative) or made up an excuse like you were almost done and had to hurry out to run errands, etc.

 

[va32h]

Please don't take this wrong, I'm not trying to sound snobbish or anything like that. Have you ever worked in an office?

Yes, I have worked in an office. And it never would have occurred to me to put aside my work to go seek out and entertain a child that was 1) not with my client 2) not creating any kind of disturbance or in any way seeking attention.

I didn't let her go off with him for twenty minutes or anything. I was not happy when he walked off with her, but was trying to be polite and finished my business as quickly as possible and immediately went to find them. They were out of my sight for five minutes, tops.

My daughter was not wandering around the office, she was a few feet from me, we were both in the reception area, this guy came out into the reception area to start interacting with her.

I'm not going to accuse this guy of anything, but I think I will point out to my lawyer that in this day and age, it is ill-advised, at best, for any adult male to put himself in a position where he is alone with and touching someone else's child.

 

[RitaZ.]

I have someone in my life who just makes me uncomfortable and gives off that creepy vibe. He often offers to take my DS places. For example once we were discussing roller skating and my ds said he'd like to try. So this guy offered to take him. Most people see him as being helpful and friendly and someone who loves kids but something just creeps me out. So even though we are forced to be together in some situations (he is a spouse of a family member) I just keep DS with me.

I'm sure my family things I'm an overprotective ninny as I haven't really shared my concerns but I don't care. I know my DS is safe.

This reminds me of an uncle of my brother's friend. The uncle was in his late 30's, but always offered to take the boys (nephew and his friends in their mid teens) out to fun places. My mom got the vibe that something wasn't right about the guy and told my brother that he wasn't allowed to go anywhere with the guy. My dad and brother thought my mom was just being overprotective and paranoid.

Well, some family members came to FL to visit with their family, and their 8yr. old wanted to go to Disney. The uncle offered to take him and the parents allowed him. Well, you know what happened. The thing that really upset me is that when the little boy told his parents, the uncle wasn't reported to the authorities. His family told him that if he sought psychological help, they wouldn't call the police.

As for the OP's question, I wasn't there to see it, so I can't comment on my impression based on what you've written. However, if you got a weird vibe, then you're probably right. I don't care how much some adults like playing with children, if it looks and feels wrong, it probably is. In the future, don't take your DD and if you have to take her and he offers to take her somewhere for whatever, just firmly say, "No, she is staying here with me".

 

[Skywalker]

I used to work in a real estate office and other agents who had nothing to do at the moment would often take someone's child and go and photocopy their hands! They do it to be helpful by keeping the kids busy so the parents could concentrate on business. And when you do that, you hold children exactly the way you described. I think you being suspicious about this activity is a little "out there".

If you had a bad feeling about him, that is another thing...but based upon the ACTIONS you describe it sounds perfectly innocent to me, because I've seen it a lot (and I'm pretty sure I did not work in an office full of male and female pedophile real estate agents).

 

[Lyn5]

One thing to do, if you know your attorney well enough, is to discuss your feelings about the situation. Don't accuse the man, but say something to the effect that Mr. X approached my child, led her to another room without my permission and held her up to make copies in a way that made me very uncomfortable. It might be that the attorney wouldn't want this sort of liability and would hopefully talk to the man and request that he not do this in the future....regardless of whether or not he had bad intentions, if it makes the cleints uncomfortable, it may be better for him to refrain from doing this at work.

Also, I think you should trust your gut...sometimes these seemily harmless things could be the first step

 

[L107ANGEL]

I used to work in a real estate office and other agents who had nothing to do at the moment would often take someone's child and go and photocopy their hands! They do it to be helpful by keeping the kids busy so the parents could concentrate on business. And when you do that, you hold children exactly the way you described. I think you being suspicious about this activity is a little "out there".

If you had a bad feeling about him, that is another thing...but based upon the ACTIONS you describe it sounds perfectly innocent to me, because I've seen it a lot (and I'm pretty sure I did not work in an office full of male and female pedophile real estate agents).

I totally agree.

 

[DISUNC]

Trust your instincts. It does sound unusual. I would not, however, call the law office unless I was certain that something inappropriate had happened. Suggesting that someone is a pedophile is one of the most serious accusations that you can make. Even the hint of pedophilia is enough to destroy someone's life and career.

If you go back to that law office, either don't take your daughter or do not let her out of your sight.

ITA!!

 

[Cindyluwho]

I used to work in a real estate office and other agents who had nothing to do at the moment would often take someone's child and go and photocopy their hands! They do it to be helpful by keeping the kids busy so the parents could concentrate on business. And when you do that, you hold children exactly the way you described. I think you being suspicious about this activity is a little "out there".

If you had a bad feeling about him, that is another thing...but based upon the ACTIONS you describe it sounds perfectly innocent to me, because I've seen it a lot (and I'm pretty sure I did not work in an office full of male and female pedophile real estate agents).

Skywalker, I totally agree! In fact, we own a real estate office and the photocopy toy is definately a favorite for occupying the kiddos. I also agree with your last paragraph. It's the vibe that got the OPs attention. The warning sign was that the guy took the child out of the room without asking the mother's permission. This is NEVER ok. His reaction when she walked in the room was also a warning sign. I wouldn't call the guy a pervert to his superiors but I would definately call it to their attention how innapropriate it is to not get a parent's approval before taking a child anywhere, even to the next room.

 

[Anc96]

One thing to do, if you know your attorney well enough, is to discuss your feelings about the situation. Don't accuse the man, but say something to the effect that Mr. X approached my child, led her to another room without my permission and held her up to make copies in a way that made me very uncomfortable. It might be that the attorney wouldn't want this sort of liability and would hopefully talk to the man and request that he not do this in the future....regardless of whether or not he had bad intentions, if it makes the cleints uncomfortable, it may be better for him to refrain from doing this at work.

Also, I think you should trust your gut...sometimes these seemily harmless things could be the first step

I totally agree with you though we seem to be in the minority.

I believe it's your responsibility to say exactly what happened and that it made you uncomfortable. That's all.. you're not accusing him of anything. The fact that something happened in that office that made a client uncomfortable is important enough to mention... even if just to be sure he doesn't make anyone else uncomfortable unintentionally.

However... I think it's completely inappropriate for someone to take a child out of a parent's view without permission. And the suggestive way the child must be held, even though for that particular reason it was the "only way" for the child to be held, it is enough to make one suspicious. Perverts often find a way to touch/hold a child in an innocent looking way... to be able to lean up against the back side of a child seems to me an extremely arousing position for a pedophile to be in... if one was a pedophile.

I don't think your suspicions are "out there"... I think you are appropriately concerned. There's no accusation to make, but it made you uncomfortable and that should be known.

Who knows.. maybe someone before, or someone in the future will make a similar claim.. and YOUR additional claim might make someone take a better look at this man.
Or, it could be completely innocent, and now this man will know he might make someone uncomfortable in the future if he takes a child in another room without permission.
He should thank you.

 

[ducklite]

He was definitely wrong to take your daughter without asking, but he might have been completely innocent. I would casually mention it to the attorney, but do so in a non-threatening way. Something to the effect of "I wouldn't want him to get in trouble because someone got the wrong idea..."

I'd have a talk with your daughter about "good touch, bad touch," she's really not too young to understand that on a very basic level.

Anne

 

[FayeW]

Alot of the responses seem to focus on the "He didn't have your permission" angle, but I don't buy it! You were RIGHT THERE, YOU HEARD HIM ASK HER, YOU SAW HER TAKE HIS HAND. As far as I am concerned, your tacit permission was implied by the mere fact that you didn't say "No Suzy, stay with Mommy".

I think you are way off base, and completely over reacting. Ask your self if the positions were reversed, and the gentleman came to help you while the receptionist took your daughter and photocopied her hands, would we even be having this conversation? Probably not.

I wouldn't give it another minute's thought.

 

[TLinden16]

That is entirely inappropriate. I'm not going to say that he was necessarily up no good (I'm not going to judge on that hearing only one side of the story). But there was no way he should have taken your daughter out of your sight without your permission. It definitely not something that should happen, especially at a professional workplace like a law firm.

Not to turn it around or anything, but it is a good reminder for everyone to remind their kids not to go off with strangers.