Bittersweet...I'm going to be an aunt!

[HsvTeacher]

On Thursday, my younger sister called to tell me that she was pregnant. She recently moved to the Orlando area and got married. I'm so happy for her, but at the same time, it was a sad reminder that my DH and I haven't been able to have a child.

We have been dealing with infertility for 10 years. Some days are good, and I can accept that being parents just wasn't in the plans for us. Other days, I struggle with accepting that fact. Thursday was one of those days.

On the upside, I can't wait to have a niece or nephew to spoil rotten, and my parents will finally have a grandchild. Plus, now I have another reason to go to Orlando and make a side trip to WDW!

Pity party over...

 

[tink_lover]

Been there, done that. It gets hard when everyone around you is having babies. But you know, there are other ways of becoming a parent....we have 3 beautiful children by adoption and believe they were always meant to be our kids.

 

[acmeyer]

Sent you a PM.. to you

 

[minkydog]

Awww I think I understand. We struggled with infertility for about 5 years before DS24 was born. Then we struggled some more after that. I love children and I wanted a houseful. It was painful to see people out in public who weren't treating their children well. It was extremely painful to me that teenagers could manage to get pregnant and I couldn't. My friends understood, as best they could. I loved be with their kids, but it was a two-sided coin, definitely. I could be happy for them, but I was very sad for us. I hope that some day soon you will get what you wish for.

 

[hipporina]

I've been there more than once and it hurts! I think the worst part is the guilt that comes from the sadness. It was definitely harder with my little sister than with my big sister. And when they got pregnant within 1 month of each other, I thought it would kill me.

While we still have not been able to conceive, we have built a wonderful family through adoption. It has been the greatest blessing for us and they are many children in need of a family.

 

[Dan Murphy]

's HsvTeacher

We too went through adoption, it was wonderful, our two are now 33 and 30. Blessings for you, HsvTeacher.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

We also are blessed to have built our family through adoption.

What you are feeling is very much understood by all of us and we are here for you if you need to "talk". Be kind to yourself and don't expect for all those feelings to not get the best of you sometimes! Just be and feel whatever you feel and take time to yourself as needed.

By the way .....Being an Aunt is GREAT!!! I have much more fun being Aunt than Mom. Enjoy it.

 

[Robinrs]

My sisters had GROWN children and I was still struggling to have a child, for years. I decided to make my nieces and nephews MY children. I doted on them, loved them to death... and when it was my time, God blessed me with my son.

My son is younger than my sister's GRANDCHILD!

Hang in there. Sometimes it seems so unfair. But when it's YOUR time you WILL be blessed.

 

[kimmar067]

My sisters had GROWN children and I was still struggling to have a child, for years. I decided to make my nieces and nephews MY children. I doted on them, loved them to death... and when it was my time, God blessed me with my son.

My son is younger than my sister's GRANDCHILD!

Hang in there. Sometimes it seems so unfair. But when it's YOUR time you WILL be blessed.

....and to the OP....

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Hugs to you, OP.

I've been on the other side and have a sister that can't have children. She said some pretty hurtful and hateful things to me when I was pregnant with my oldest. I know that she didn't really mean them and that she was hurting but they still hurt me and caused the beginning of the end of our relationship.

You have every right to feel the way that you do but please be sensitive to your sister's feelings as well. I hope that she does the same for you.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sorry you're feeling bittersweet OP. I know the feeling...

Fpr those of you who, on every thread about someone not being able to have a baby, post "There's always adoption". Do you think that we don't know that? Perhaps we have reasons for not wanting "build" a family through adoption. We are also very aware of donor eggs, surrogacy, and sperm donation.

 

[paintnolish]

I've also been on the "other side." I got pregnant with ds after my best friend at the time had had 2 consecutive miscarriages. I was really torn and waited too long to tell her because it never felt like the right time. When I did tell her, I felt awful (maybe even more so than if I had told her earlier) for having waited so long! Eventually, she did conceive. Like Robinrs said, though, you will be blessed.

 

[tink_lover]

Sorry you're feeling bittersweet OP. I know the feeling...

Fpr those of you who, on every thread about someone not being able to have a baby, post "There's always adoption". Do you think that we don't know that? Perhaps we have reasons for not wanting "build" a family through adoption. We are also very aware of donor eggs, surrogacy, and sperm donation.

I'm only speaking from my experience of how difficult it was to get off that infertility roller coaster of always thinking "this is the time it will work". The hormones/medications definately clouded my judgement. It wasn't until about a year after getting off the treatments I felt like myself. Believe me, I know just how difficult it is and how difficult it is to stop everything. Again, the children I have are the children that were meant to be mine (ours).

 

[ilovefh]

It's odd that you posted this topic today. We think my younger sister's boyfriend is getting ready to propose. DH and I just talked about how I will feel when she does become pregnant. I think it is normal to be a little sad. Heck, I got sad watching the Disney on a Dime show on the Travel Channel today, thinking we might not ever bring a family to Disney. to you!

 

[Jingle]

On Thursday, my younger sister called to tell me that she was pregnant. She recently moved to the Orlando area and got married. I'm so happy for her, but at the same time, it was a sad reminder that my DH and I haven't been able to have a child.

We have been dealing with infertility for 10 years. Some days are good, and I can accept that being parents just wasn't in the plans for us. Other days, I struggle with accepting that fact. Thursday was one of those days.

On the upside, I can't wait to have a niece or nephew to spoil rotten, and my parents will finally have a grandchild. Plus, now I have another reason to go to Orlando and make a side trip to WDW!

Pity party over...

T

I don't mean to minimize your feelings in any way. The thing that has helped me get through many situations is be thankful for what you do have instead of wishing for what you don't have. Easy to say in some situations and not so much in others.

 

[krcit]

That must be a tough thing OP. I wish you the best.

 

[tonilea]

BTDT. Three times. I am the oldest. It brought tears to my eyes just thinking about it. It gets better after the pregnancy and the newborn stage. Those were the hardest parts for me.

We were married 15 years before DS was born.

 

[HsvTeacher]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies. They have given me so much hope!

Like tink_lover said, it's been hard for me to get off the infertility roller coaster. My DH and I have talked about adoption, but it's not something that I was ready to accept. We've been talking about it more lately and may look into that option.

My sister told me she was worried about telling me that she was pregnant, because she said I was supposed to be the one having a baby. Of course, I told her I was thrilled for her and will support her any way I can. Then my mother called, and I cried with her. She went through secondary infertility for seven years before having my sister, so she understands my feelings.

I'm just going to take it one day at a time and try to focus on all the blessings I have in my life.

 

[design_mom]

Congratulations on becoming an aunt!

I can definitely understand how it's bittersweet. BTDT with a sister-in-law who wasn't very kind to me during her pregnancy. I hope that your sister is kind and understanding and that you are able to feel real joy at your sister's good fortune. (I know from experience that sometimes you've got to fake it till you make it.) I hope you can be the worlds' best aunt to your new niece or nephew.
((hugs))

 

[ilovejack02]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies. They have given me so much hope!

Like tink_lover said, it's been hard for me to get off the infertility roller coaster. My DH and I have talked about adoption, but it's not something that I was ready to accept. We've been talking about it more lately and may look into that option.

My sister told me she was worried about telling me that she was pregnant, because she said I was supposed to be the one having a baby. Of course, I told her I was thrilled for her and will support her any way I can. Then my mother called, and I cried with her. She went through secondary infertility for seven years before having my sister, so she understands my feelings.

I'm just going to take it one day at a time and try to focus on all the blessings I have in my life.

Sounds like you are going to be a wonderful Aunt. So happy for you that you have a family that is supportive .