Birthday presents for siblings

[marlasmom]

Someone on another board said I was nuts, but I always give a small gift to the siblings of the birthday child - for young children. I also give a gift to siblings of a new-born baby. When my kids were little and now for my grandchildren, birthdays were a big deal. If Daddy or the grandparents had a birthday, everybody got presents - not big - but a treat. Birthdays become a family holiday. I do recall my MIL getting upset on her birthday because we had childish decorations - that my kids had so carefully picked out because they were sure Nana would love them. Not a good sport that lady.

Do you think my practice is "nutty?"

 

[mommytotwo]

I think that it is nice of you to get gifts for others, but maybe some people may think that you are going a step to much and that they feel that they may have to give something to the other people also.

 

[Az Pirates]

Hmm... I don't do the birthday thing for siblings.

I do always try to include a lttle something for big brothers/sisters when I get a gift for a new baby.
I have also been known to get the big gift for a new mom & dad and just a little something for the baby.

 

[disykat]

I have done birthday things and sibling gifts when the children are toddler/preschool age - but only if they are the only sibling and the only child not getting gifts. To them it looks like they are the only one not getting presents. I wouldn't do it for an adult birthday because I don't think they get jealous of an adult in the same way. It was important to me that my kids learn that every occasion isn't about them, but sometimes during the preschool years that lesson needs a little smoothing through.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I will if the kids are little. It's usually something really small like a coloring book/crayons or watercolors. The kids in question are usually 2-4.

I'll also get a little something for the sibling no matter the age. I was 9 when my sister was born. It was really hard to not be the center of attention anymore.

 

[RitaZ.]

Someone on another board said I was nuts, but I always give a small gift to the siblings of the birthday child - for young children. I also give a gift to siblings of a new-born baby. When my kids were little and now for my grandchildren, birthdays were a big deal. If Daddy or the grandparents had a birthday, everybody got presents - not big - but a treat. Birthdays become a family holiday. I do recall my MIL getting upset on her birthday because we had childish decorations - that my kids had so carefully picked out because they were sure Nana would love them. Not a good sport that lady.

Do you think my practice is "nutty?"

Personally, I wouldn't buy gifts for the sibling/s of the birthday child. My mom always wants to do that for my kids, but I tell her not to do it; maybe I should let her. However, I have bought gifts for the sibling/s of a newborn.

I think you are a very thoughtful person and I would love to have "childish" decorations on my birthday. I think that makes for a thoughtful and loving family tradition, I think they're important.

 

[Beth76]

I think it's a very nice thing to give a child a gift when they become a big brother or sister. That is a big change in their life. But, I disagree with the birthdays. I think that kids (yes, even the little ones) need to learn it's not always about them. Everyone gets their special day and it doesn't need to be shared. I think it's a nice thought, but a bit overboard. This is of course, just my opinion. You should do what you want. But, I would check with the parents to make sure it's OK with them.

BTW, when do you draw the line on something like this? Do you just stop at a certain age? What about cousins or family friends? Why wouldn't they feel "left out" and deserve their own present?

 

[lbgraves]

I think that you are a very thoughtful person to consider the feelings of a young child when they have a new baby enter the family. I learned of this thru friends with more than one child so I was ready when DD was born. I had a few goodie bags in the closet for DS who was 21 months at the time. I let him open her gifts but he wasn't too interested in the little dresses & baby things. Most people who came over did bring him a little something. It didn't have to be alot but having something to open did include him in our celebration. I do the same thing for siblings of newborns. I don't get gifts for the other children on birthdays though.

 

[teacherforhi]

I personally think it's a bad idea to give gifts to anyone other than the birthday child. After all, there are probably other children there besides siblings. Do you bring gifts for all of them too?

Let the birthday child have their special day.

 

[va32h]

Giving a gift to a new sibling is very nice indeed - and the birth of a new baby is a special occasion for them - they are becoming a big sister or brother.

On birthdays however, I think it sends the wrong message to give every child a gift. Children do need to learn to accept that they cannot always be the center of attention. The longer this lesson is put off, the harder it will be to swallow.

I feel the same way about the current trend to have only non-competive games or "no winners or losers", trophies for everyone, etc. But that is another topic.

 

[Lil_Tink]

Someone on another board said I was nuts, but I always give a small gift to the siblings of the birthday child - for young children. I also give a gift to siblings of a new-born baby. When my kids were little and now for my grandchildren, birthdays were a big deal. If Daddy or the grandparents had a birthday, everybody got presents - not big - but a treat. Birthdays become a family holiday. I do recall my MIL getting upset on her birthday because we had childish decorations - that my kids had so carefully picked out because they were sure Nana would love them. Not a good sport that lady.

Do you think my practice is "nutty?"

My parents did that to me until I was about 10.Yes.We did it so the little ones didnt feel left out but once there older we dont know

 

[poohandwendy]

Aw, you are sweet an considerate to do that, IMO. It depends on how well I know the kids involved. I don't always do that with birthdays, but definitely when a child welcomes a new sibling. I think it makes them feel special. Nothin' better than making a kid smile!

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

I don't give birthday gifts to siblings and don't particularly like it when people give my kid (the one who is not having a birthday at the time) a gift. I'm trying to teach my kids to be happy for each other, giving is better then recieving, everyday (thing, event, etc) is not about them... you get the point. One person will bring the other child a gift (which I think is a very nice gesture in and of itself) and suddenly instead of just watching the birthday child open the gifts (which is easy to explain), "its can I open this now", "why did I only get one present and he/she got 12," "is it my birthday now too", etc, etc. It not only distracts the bday child, but it interupts my enjoyment of watching my bday child on his big day. This happened with my 4 almost 5yo dd at my ds's 3rd bday party yesterday. This is JMO.

I think gifts for siblings at the time of a new arrival, is great. Afterall that is their event too. I usually bring big sister/big brother gifts, something for the baby, and something for the parents (like a meal).

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I do this, too--I guess we're in a minority! Only for preschool age or younger, though, when they're still getting the idea that they aren't the center of the universe. In my mind, a bottle of bubble stuff or some other $ store item goes a long way!

BTW, boo! hiss! to grandma for not being a sport about the decorations! I guess SHE still needs to learn that it's not "all about her"! Did she never eat a lovingly prepared slice of burnt toast on Mother's Day?

 

[marlasmom]

Yeah it's only for little ones and not at a big "public" party. My grandchildren are less than 13 months apart and I always send presents for both kids at each other's birthdays. This year they were here two days before the older one's bd - he was 7 and we sang "happy pre-birthday"; the cake had both their names on it and both kids got presents. They also got to pick out presents at SeaWorld and MK. We did fireworks after dinner in honor of the children.

My MIL defined the term "witch" although she didn't mean to. It was tough seeing my kids beaming with pride and how deflated they were at her reaction. My dad, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted, said he loved the Mickey Mouse plates and the decorations and on and on. They were thrilled - actually a lesson in giving for them.

I've heard the "kids have to learn it's not all about them" lots of times and I understand the point. But in my house we celebrated everybody's big moments. All 3 have grown up to be nice, considerate, generous and caring people so something went right.

 

[NMAmy]

I do this with my niece's children. She just had a new baby--when they came to visit this weekend, we had a couple of new outfits for the baby, and also big sister and big brother gifts for the other kids.

I also pick up small toys/activities when they're on clearance and put them away for them. I only see them about every two months and the kids know they always get a little bag of goodies from Aunt Amy every time they see me (even if it's the other child's birthday.) These are not big ticket items but it gives them something to entertain themselves with--plus I love to do it. Anytime we go on vacation, I pick up a little gift for each one. For example, we went to Cedar Point and I brought back an age appropriate Snoopy book for each kid. These kids are very special to me and I like to spoil them a little.

You know, my grandparents always brought a small gift for the un-birthday child--it didn't take any glow away from the birthday child nor did it lead to unrealistic expectations. I'm quite able to go to a birthday party and not throw a hissy fit if I don't get a gift.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I get a gift for the sibling of new baby, if the child is little, and can't understand what all the gifts are for.

As for birthday gifts for siblings, I buy a small token gift if they are under the age of 2, after that, I feel they need to learn that a birthday is a special day for the other child, and they have their own day.

 

[pixiedust23]

My grandparents used to do this. They never wanted to let either my brother or I feel left out. They would get a large or a few small presents for the birthday child, and a small present for the non-birthday kid. In the end my brother and I would share what we got.

 

[Missy1961]

My parents always had the new baby give the older kids a present when he/she was born. I remember--I'm second oldest of six! (I really loved my baby sister--she gave me a great Colorforms set!) My sisters & brothers have continued this tradition when they've had children. My sister & I (who don't have children) give the nieces & nephews little presents when they get a new sister or brother, and we frequently take the older kids out to lunch, etc. when mom needs a break.

I also give the siblings of the birthday kids a gift--but I stop when they reach 5 years old. The birthday child is still the center of attention. I wait until they've opened everything, the other kids have ooh'd & aah'd over the presents, then they get their presents. But I only do this when we have family birthday gatherings--which we do. If there are other kids there, I don't do it.

 

[Blondy876]

I think (and I usually do) giving a gift to the sibling of a newborn is a good idea. The birth of a baby is a family celebration.

I don't give gifts to siblings at a child's birthday party. Birthdays are special and if everyone gets a gift, even a small one, it takes away from the birthday child's special day.