Birthday Party Advice

[HLAuburn]

My DD has decided to have her 7th birthday at the movie theater -cake/presents etc in the party room followed by the Smurfs movie. The price is based on each child and includes a ticket to the movie, kid's popcorn pack etc. I know all these kids pretty well since I volunteered in her class, so I have no issues with parents dropping them off. There will be at least 5 adults there to keep up with the kids.

As a parent, would you feel OK dropping your 6 or 7 year old off?

Is it "OK" to let them know they can drop the kids off but that they are welcome to purchase a ticket and tag along?

And how do you handle siblings? She has a few neighborhood friends with older siblings, so do you just address the invitation to the child who's invited and hope they don't bring the whole family along?

Thanks!

 

[MsPeggySue911]

I would always invite the siblings of the invited guest if they were pretty close in age. I wouldn't invite them if they were 12 or 13 going to a 7 yr old's birthday party.

I would not have dropped off my 6 or 7 yr old kid, no. I didn't drop mine off when they were 9. I don't leave my kids in the care of others, especially when they have 10 or 15 other kids to keep up with. But that's just me.

 

[Michelle67]

Someone I know JUST did this about a month ago with this exact age group. From her experience, I just want to tell you that you should NOT hope that people will not show up with the whole family. You will need to be very explicit about what you are providing. It seems like common sense not to assume someone is willing to pay for ALL your kids to go, but she had more than one family show up and expect their entire family to be paid for by the birthday mom. Another friend awhile back had a few families who wanted to drop their younger children off as well, and leave them to be watched (AND paid for) by the birthday mom.

It is FINE to be explicit about who is and who is not paid for, and I strongly urge you to do exactly that. I would word the invitations something like "We have arranged to have plenty of supervision so that you can feel free to drop off your child for the party. Parents and/or siblings are welcome to join us at the parents' expense, but we ask that if you are bringing younger siblings along you stay and supervise them, so that we may ensure the safety all party-goers."

I don't drop my 7 year old off, but most people would probably be fine with that, especially if they/their kids already know you from school functions.

 

[descovy]

I think your party idea sounds great.

I DO drop off my 6 year old at parties... often because I am shuttling the older siblings around. Siblings do not go to parties, as a general rule.

I lead girl scouts... we started in Kinder. Past the first 1-2 meetings, parents dropped kids off as there was no need for the parents (3 leaders, 2 of which are teachers) We have taken them on field trips, where only safety-wise adults ratio are allowed (4 adults) So, trust me, there are others that DO drop off 6 year olds.

That said, the parties we choose to go to, are for friends. We won't attend a party as "just a classmate." So these are families I'd already trust with my 6yo for a playdate, and a party is no different.

 

[HLAuburn]

I would always invite the siblings of the invited guest if they were pretty close in age. I wouldn't invite them if they were 12 or 13 going to a 7 yr old's birthday party.

I would not have dropped off my 6 or 7 yr old kid, no. I didn't drop mine off when they were 9. I don't leave my kids in the care of others, especially when they have 10 or 15 other kids to keep up with. But that's just me.

Someone I know JUST did this about a month ago with this exact age group. From her experience, I just want to tell you that you should NOT hope that people will not show up with the whole family. You will need to be very explicit about what you are providing. It seems like common sense not to assume someone is willing to pay for ALL your kids to go, but she had more than one family show up and expect their entire family to be paid for by the birthday mom. Another friend awhile back had a few families who wanted to drop their younger children off as well, and leave them to be watched (AND paid for) by the birthday mom.

It is FINE to be explicit about who is and who is not paid for, and I strongly urge you to do exactly that. I would word the invitations something like "We have arranged to have plenty of supervision so that you can feel free to drop off your child for the party. Parents and/or siblings are welcome to join us at the parents' expense, but we ask that if you are bringing younger siblings along you stay and supervise them, so that we may ensure the safety all party-goers."

I don't drop my 7 year old off, but most people would probably be fine with that, especially if they/their kids already know you from school functions.

Thanks for the replies. I don't know that I would drop my daughter off either, but as the "party mom", I feel like a know these kids and parents well enough that it will be OK, at least from my position. I completely understand if a parent wasn't comfortable, so I want them to know they can come along at their own expense. Would that be unreasonable or would you expect to pay if you came along?

The sibling situation is harder...one family has a 2, 9, and 12 year old that DD doesn't know well at all, but I'm friends with the mom. I think it's unreasonable of parents to think an invitation is for the whole family, but I know people do it, so I think I should try to "nip it in the bud" before the party.

Thanks again...

 

[mamacatnv]

I like the wording suggested by the PP - spell it out so that there is no confusion.

I would have dropped my DD off for a movie party at 6 or 7 and come back and picked her up at the scheduled time.

 

[starann]

Word the invite that "jane is invited to (blanks) B-day party. movie ticket, soda and popcorn will be provided as well as cake. If you choose to stay, the price of the movie is $7 for adults and $6 for additional children.

Hopefully by addressing the price of other tickets they will see that their ticket as well as other children are their responsibility!

 

[cari12]

I have dropped my kids off at 6 and 7 years old at parties where I knew the parents and if it was in an enclosed area (playplace or their house) and if I knew there was good supervision. Usually movie parties have a staff person assigned to the party so they are there as well as the parents to supervise.
As far as siblings go -that really depends on who has been invited. We have not had problems with siblings coming as any that had come, we were told when they RSVP'd and I had ok'd it. If I am planning to bring both our kids, I will let them know when I RSVP and also tell them that I will pay and stay to supervise the other one and that I understand they are not part of the "party".

 

[cari12]

Also, because most afterschool activities are no longer parent participation at this age, people start getting more comfortable with the drop and go especially if the child has older siblings so they have been through many parties.

 

[Michelle67]

Thanks for the replies. I don't know that I would drop my daughter off either, but as the "party mom", I feel like a know these kids and parents well enough that it will be OK, at least from my position. I completely understand if a parent wasn't comfortable, so I want them to know they can come along at their own expense. Would that be unreasonable or would you expect to pay if you came along?

The sibling situation is harder...one family has a 2, 9, and 12 year old that DD doesn't know well at all, but I'm friends with the mom. I think it's unreasonable of parents to think an invitation is for the whole family, but I know people do it, so I think I should try to "nip it in the bud" before the party.

Thanks again...

I would absolutely expect to pay my own way if I was coming along, and I think that is a common sense expectation. However, like I said....the woman I know found out the hard way that not everyone has common sense, and some people think an extra $40 or so for their family to join in the fun wouldn't be a problem.

Word the invite that "jane is invited to (blanks) B-day party. movie ticket, soda and popcorn will be provided as well as cake. If you choose to stay, the price of the movie is $7 for adults and $6 for additional children.

Hopefully by addressing the price of other tickets they will see that their ticket as well as other children are their responsibility!

I like that idea also!

 

[mhawk4]

Depending on the party I may or may not drop off my child. There are some friends I would feel comfortable leaving my children with in such a public place, other friends, not so much. Some friend I know would watch my children even more carefully than their own and other friends whom I feel like don't watch their own children carefully enough.

On the subject of parties, my daughters went to a birthday party at the American Girl Doll store bistro today for lunch. I was invited to go along since the dad did not want have lunch with a bunch of girls. My friend's daughter chose me out of all of the other mothers to go along, which made me feel really special. I offered to pay for my own lunch. I know I was there to help out, but I did not feel they should have to pay. They insisted, but I felt better having offered.

On the flip side, my daughter's birthday party was this evening. We had a dance lesson party taught by her dance teacher which we held at our church's community room. Many of the girls went to both parties. One mom had called last week to see if her daughter could bring her twin sister and I had said yes since we were not paying per child and my daughter also likes the twin. Well when we got home from the first party the mom had called and asked my husband if the twin could bring her friend that was going to sleep over that night. He had said yes. I was a little bit surprised and it felt like it was really pushy. It was not a big deal in some ways as we did not have to pay per child. But what if it had been a child that my daughter was not friends with or did not like. My daughter has had trouble with being bullied and I know the twin is friends with some of the girls. My daughter was okay with it so I decided to roll with it and deal with it if we had a problem. It turned out that it was a girls that my daughter liked, but I would never have asked to bring a friend to someone elses party.

 

[HLAuburn]

On the flip side, my daughter's birthday party was this evening. We had a dance lesson party taught by her dance teacher which we held at our church's community room. Many of the girls went to both parties. One mom had called last week to see if her daughter could bring her twin sister and I had said yes since we were not paying per child and my daughter also likes the twin. Well when we got home from the first party the mom had called and asked my husband if the twin could bring her friend that was going to sleep over that night. He had said yes. I was a little bit surprised and it felt like it was really pushy. It was not a big deal in some ways as we did not have to pay per child. But what if it had been a child that my daughter was not friends with or did not like. My daughter has had trouble with being bullied and I know the twin is friends with some of the girls. My daughter was okay with it so I decided to roll with it and deal with it if we had a problem. It turned out that it was a girls that my daughter liked, but I would never have asked to bring a friend to someone elses party.

Very pushy, and IMO, really inappropriate to even ask. Since you were nice enough to let the twin come in the first place, the mom should have given her the choice to attend the party with her sister OR hang out somewhere else with the friend.
People never cease to amaze me, so I really want to make sure everything's up front and clear when it comes to the party, who's invited and what's included.

 

[brockash]

i like the wording suggested by the pp - spell it out so that there is no confusion.

I would have dropped my dd off for a movie party at 6 or 7 and come back and picked her up at the scheduled time.

ita!

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My son's school was like a magnet, and drew kids from all over the city, so it wasn't uncommon for parents to drive pretty far for a birthday party. It also wasn't uncommon for parents to pay to have their other children do the same thing (e.g. we had a party at the splash pool, other people stayed and swam with their other kids but they paid for them, didn't bring them in the party room for cake, same thing happened at a bowling party we went to). So it wouldn't surprise me if a family took the siblings to see the Smurfs at the same showing. I'd do the same thing if I didn't have an only child. In my case I also might take advantage of the chance to see some more adult flick I wouldn't take my kid to, if the times were right. But I'd never expect a parent to pay for that.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I would put on the invitation like you said.. if a parent of sibling would like to stay and enjoy the movies tickets ares available for $x.xx at the theater.

No, you should no have to pay for parents and siblings.

I am doing a carnival theme and rented a pavilion at local park for August. My kids took 45 invites to school. yesterday... I am a little scared what I will end up with

I have never invited any of my 4 kids kids whole clase to a party before. And that total doesnt include family and friends..

When looking up wording for a carnival theme I kept coming across, Come one. Come all..... That so did not go on the invite.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I agree with the others that you should spell out who is invited and how much additional tickets cost for siblings and parents.

A friend of my son's had a movie party a few weeks ago. The kids in the group all have Asperger's and attend a specialized school. Most parents stayed (including me) so their kids would be comfortable. My younger son also wanted to see the movie, so in my reply to the mom I said, "A will be attending the party. R and I are planning to purchase tickets and stay for the movie." I wanted the mom to know that I didn't expect her to buy our tickets. She replied that she wanted to pay for the parents who were staying and that she would also like to pay for my younger son. I replied and thanked her. When we got to the theater, she had a whole handful of tickets that she was passing out. It was certainly nice and generous of her, but I never expected her to pay our way too.

 

[aprilgail2]

If I knew the parents I would have no problem dropping off my daughter and picking her up after the movie--especially if it meant I didn't have to sit through the smurfs movie LOL! I know one of the movie parties she went to when she was younger the party kids parents bought and paid for all the parents tickets that were staying but I didn't stay for that one either!

 

[mjkacmom]

If I knew the parent, I'd drop off. Honestly, I've had dozens of parties out, and not one parent has brought a sibling and expected me to pay.

 

[ksjayhawks]

You should be very specific.

Movie ticket, popcorn, soda, cake provided for the invited guest. Birthday party group will be sitting together in the theater. Guests can be picked up at the (front door, party room, ticket sales, wherever) after the movie is over.

If other family members wish to stay for the movie, they will need to purchase their own tickets and food/drinks and be sure that children are supervised by an adult.

If you aren't specific, you will have siblings sitting with the party group, who you will then need to supervise, take to bathroom, etc.

 

[Rora]

Word the invite that "jane is invited to (blanks) B-day party. movie ticket, soda and popcorn will be provided as well as cake. If you choose to stay, the price of the movie is $7 for adults and $6 for additional children.

Hopefully by addressing the price of other tickets they will see that their ticket as well as other children are their responsibility!

This is what I would do too.