Birthday Invitations - Presents

[JodyLynC]

Hello, wonderful people!! I need some advice.

We will be sending out birthday invitations for my twin girls in a couple of weeks. We are having a really nice party at our local bowling alley and will be providing the games and shoe rental, as well as serving pizza and cake.

Last year the girls had different friends so they sent out individual invitations and received gifts from their own friends. This year they have the same friends and want the invites to come from both of them. I know that most people are having a tough time right now and I don't want any of the families to decline the invitation due to finances. I am thinking of including a handwritten note with each invitation, but I don't want to come of as presumptious (ie expecting gifts) or rude.

This is what I am thinking of saying:
We hope your daughter will join us. Times being what they are, I know it is hard to plan gift-giving for twins. The girls would be thrilled to each receive a card or small token. What matters most to us is your daughters company.

Is this rude, presumptious, or otherwise insulting? What would you say?

 

[mjkacmom]

I wouldn't write anything. Sure, people who attend my twins parties bring two gifts, but we also either give 2 gifts or a $40 gift when my twins attend parties together. We also have friends with twins, and friends with triplets, and no mention has ever been made regarding gifts on the birthday invitations.

 

[Zeebs]

"It's your presence the girls would like not your presents"

Or straight out no gifts please.

I think most people would supply a card anyway even with those comments.

Kirsten

 

[minnie1928]

Why not change the theme of the party/invitation slightly? My son was invited to a party where donations to the local animal shelter were requested in lieu of gifts. So they enclosed a list of things that the shelter needed (paper towels, supplies, etc.). Perhaps something like that would take some of the stress off the attendees, while making the girls feel like they've done a really good deed.

FWIW, the birthday boy was so excited about the pile of donations that were collected!

 

[Bren's Mom]

If your girls were just classmates and had all the same friends and each had their own birthday party on the same weekend, the parents of the invited guests would likely buy a birthday gift for each child within their budget or decline the invite. I'm not sure how that's any different than your twin girls' party.

I think the sentiment is nicely worded and very sweet, but I'm not a fan of mentioning gifts on an invite. The only exception is, perhaps, 'no gifts please'.

 

[v.t.]

I have twins and some gifts we receive are joint gifts, some individual. People are going to do what they would like, hopefully what they can afford, so I would not say anything at all.
I love the donation idea, if that is what the girls would like. I would also suggest books for the public library, backpacks or school supplies for the local school, etc.

 

[kymmyk13]

We had my DD5 birthday party this past Saturday. on the invitation i said that in leui of gifts please bring nonpershiable food items for our church food bank. With christmas just last month and with what we bought her she really did not need anything else. With them bring food they could spend just a couple of dollar and bring several items. Some people did bring her a ltitle something. But I feel we are very fortunate in these difficult times and lets be honest most of our children do not need another toy. Maybe you could talk to your girls about picking a local charity to help.

 

[JodyLynC]

I do like the charity idea. I know my girls will be into it. Thanks for sharing your examples and suggestions.

Jody

 

[puffkin]

We just received an invitation that says:

Your presence is persent enough.

I thought that was cute.

 

[kellia]

For my twins, we gave them each 5 friends they could invite, so everyone was invited by 1 birthday child. It didn't seem fair that the kids who were friends with both of them had to buy gifts for both. I do send 2 gifts if they are both invited to a party, and I don't think it's fair to give them a joint gift. They'd rather get 2 small things than 1 thing to share, it's not their fault their sibling shares the same birthday, they are 2 kids! Now, one boy had 2 more guests show up, so I was worried that would be a problem, but they didn't seem to notice or care.

 

[mjkacmom]

For my twins, we gave them each 5 friends they could invite, so everyone was invited by 1 birthday child. It didn't seem fair that the kids who were friends with both of them had to buy gifts for both. I do send 2 gifts if they are both invited to a party, and I don't think it's fair to give them a joint gift. They'd rather get 2 small things than 1 thing to share, it's not their fault their sibling shares the same birthday, they are 2 kids! Now, one boy had 2 more guests show up, so I was worried that would be a problem, but they didn't seem to notice or care.

My twins would rather have a bigger gift to share, provided they both enjoyed it, like a Wii game. In our house, everyone shares everything. Of course, I prefer a joint gift, too, because it's less stuff!

 

[micheleq]

I've had no gift parties for my DD and it was fine. A short and simple, "No gifts please" or "Your presence is the present" will suffice. No need to get into other's hardships...

If you want to ask for a charity donation, I'd suggest cereal or canned foods for a local food bank. That way if you are concerened that there are families who are struggling, it is easier for them to bring in a few canned goods vs. making a dollar donation to a charity. We've done that in the past as well, and will probably do so again this year as our local food bank has been truly struggling to keep the shelves full.

 

[zoemurr]

for the local Ronald McDonald House. I call a bit in advance and find out what they need. We have done snacks, baby food, cleaning supplies, toothbrushes, and bandaids.

My kids get most of what they ask for from relatives, and we have big friend parties as we have no local family. They have never missed it, and are quite proud to deliver their donations. They are 8/10 and we have done it for 7 years now.

 

[littlbugmom]

I don't like the mention of gifts in invitations, unless it's to convey a "no gifts" message.

While your intentions are good, I think your message could offend because it implies that you think someone either can't afford two gifts or wouldn't want to bring a gift for each girl.

If money is an issue, I think most people will opt to bring a smaller gift for each birthday girl, rather than decline the invitation.....but if you're worried about that happening, I would go with the donation idea. It's something your girls can help with and you might end up encourage others to do the same.

 

[scrapquitler]

You shouldn't mention anything about gifts on the invitation, at all.

If someone wants to buy two separate gifts, they will. If they want to buy one gift, they will. If I were ever in the position of a twins party, I might buy one joint gift or I might buy two separate gifts, it would depend on the children, my relationship with them (or my child's friendship) or the particular type of gift I had in mind.

People will buy according to their budget and their desires. Presuming anything about gifts and stating it on the invitation is not a good idea.

 

[Justsyd2]

"You shouldn't mention anything about gifts on the invitation, at all.

If someone wants to buy two separate gifts, they will. If they want to buy one gift, they will. If I were ever in the position of a twins party, I might buy one joint gift or I might buy two separate gifts, it would depend on the children, my relationship with them (or my child's friendship) or the particular type of gift I had in mind.

People will buy according to their budget and their desires. Presuming anything about gifts and stating it on the invitation is not a good idea."

I agree completely with the above post.