Birthday BBQ, does this seem cheap?

[travelbug]

I can't believe some people! "If there's not chicken we won't eat." "It's cheap to serve only one thing." etc.

Really? I've often gone to parties where the main dish is something I don't really care for (hamburgers, steak, hot dogs) and I've never in my life left a party hungry. I'd happily go to a party to celebrate a nieces birthday and eat later if there wasn't a single thing I could tolerate on the menu. I can't imagine that ever happening though. I'm sure there'd be fruit, veggies, salads, chips, cake and ice cream.

When I go to someone's home I don't expect restaurant service.

I agree.

 

[pospisil]

I agree with PP, I don't expect that my every whim be catered to when going to a BBQ, especially one with family. I remember a few years ago we had a BBQ, we had the usual, brisket, chicken, sausage, lots and lots of sides (potato salad, pasta salad, beans, cole slaw, fruit, deviled eggs, Mac and cheese, etc) chips, several desserts. My stepsister wandered around telling everyone that her kids wouldnt eat any of that stuff. Finally a friend went to their house and brought back a pack of hot dogs, and she was happy. When the kids came in to eat, they wanted to try some of the other things, but she told them they wouldn't like it, and all she gave them was a hot dog each.

I very rarely have them over anymore, they are those people who are just never happy.

 

[disykat]

I agree with PP, I don't expect that my every whim be catered to when going to a BBQ, especially one with family. I remember a few years ago we had a BBQ, we had the usual, brisket, chicken, sausage, lots and lots of sides (potato salad, pasta salad, beans, cole slaw, fruit, deviled eggs, Mac and cheese, etc) chips, several desserts. My stepsister wandered around telling everyone that her kids wouldnt eat any of that stuff. Finally a friend went to their house and brought back a pack of hot dogs, and she was happy. When the kids came in to eat, they wanted to try some of the other things, but she told them they wouldn't like it, and all she gave them was a hot dog each.

I very rarely have them over anymore, they are those people who are just never happy.

Picky people just want to be picky. It's hard to imagine living such a limited life that you allowed your personal food preferences (especially with the variety PP described!) to be the barometer of whether you enjoyed an event.

I sure hope my kids are growing up with the attitude that good food is a great bonus at a party, but it's really all about enjoying the company.

 

[ReneeA]

I can't believe some people! "If there's not chicken we won't eat." "It's cheap to serve only one thing." etc.

Really? I've often gone to parties where the main dish is something I don't really care for (hamburgers, steak, hot dogs) and I've never in my life left a party hungry. I'd happily go to a party to celebrate a nieces birthday and eat later if there wasn't a single thing I could tolerate on the menu. I can't imagine that ever happening though. I'm sure there'd be fruit, veggies, salads, chips, cake and ice cream.

When I go to someone's home I don't expect restaurant service.

I agree.

I also think it has much to do with routine within families. In my family, birthday party meant a 2 hour gathering after dinner with cake and ice cream...no meal provided.

DH's family has birthday parties that start at 3pm, dinner is provided, gifts are opened, cake and ice cream eaten, and then a few drinks are passed around. It's a long day, and normally expensive for the host. I enjoy doing it (however, the year DH was laid off it was a nightmare for me to deal with), but think it's pretty unneccessary to be fed and entertained like that.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

I guess you missed the part where the OP explained it was a family get together to celebrate DD's birthday? I also don't think the OP said they "couldn't afford" to feed their guests - I read it that they are just trying not to be wasteful while still ensuring people enjoy their food.

I'm sure it boosts your ego for people to want "one of everything" but that doesn't mean it is necessary for everyone to have one of everything have a good time and get enough to eat. Food shouldn't be the main focus of a birthday celebration anyway - just having all the family together is the key IMO. I think it is a bit sad that you think what the OP is suggesting is "cheap" and they should not bother inviting family over to celebrate DD's birthday based on the food options available...


I guess YOU missed this part:


I don't want to seem cheap but when we do hamburgers and dogs or chicken everyone seems to want one of everything. I thought it might be more budget and streamlined if we stuck with one food and then the sides (and we will have salads too). Or we could add brats too? I just don't want people to leave hungry. What do you think?


I don't know about you but when I invite people to my home for any occasion I make sure there is enough food to go around. If I were in the situation where I couldn't afford the food or had to worry about someone taking an extra hotdog then I wouldn't invite people over to eat.

If I had to cut back on my food budget for the week to supply an extra $10 worth of meat then that's is what I would do.

How does *ego* play into not letting your guests go home hungry? So what you are saying is it's OK to invite people over to eat and then not feed them enough? That they should be thankful that they were invited at all?

If you think that's OK then you remind me of my mother's friend...she would invite us over to dinner and make ONE roasted chicken and 9 roasted potatoes for 4 adults and 5 kids. And it wasn't a matter of not being able to afford more, she was just really, how shall I put this...frugal...with feeding guests.

Sorry, I was raised by a mother who believed it was better to have too much food then too little for your guests.

You'd probably faint if you saw the amount of food we make for holidays and whenever we have people over.

 

[kirstenb1]

Okay, this has been bugging me and I just figured out why. Besides not liking hot dogs, I always think of them as a kids' food. Like if the OP's dd were having her friends (no adults) over for a birthday party, a hot dog bar would seem cute.

 

[Beth921]

I think it's a cute idea. But, my dh went to a birthday party with our kids at a friends house this winter and they had a hot dog bar. He was not impressed. Personally, hot dogs upset my stomach but I would never be rude about it, I'd just go for the sides and be thankful that food was provided. Of course, I am never someone to complain about a meal I didn't have to cook or pay for

We have started doing a taco bar for our kids parties. Some refried beans for the vegetarians, ground beef or chicken (depending on what's cheapest) some tortillas, some cheese, salsa, sour cream, tomatoes, lettuce and hot sauce. Then some tortilla chips for those that may want to make nachos. No one has left hungry and the ingredients are relatively cheap, and everyone can make exactly what they want, if it's from a cheese tortilla or a full fledged taco or loaded nachos

 

[mhsjax]

As a party host I would be very embarrassed to be serving one thing and have people not eat because they only had one choice. I make sure as a host of a party to have things that everyone will like! I know when my daughter was younger and we would go to a bbq I would bring along a piece of chicken to throw on the bbq for her since she did not eat burgers, french fries or any type of salad with mayo (which most of the bbq type salads have)- I don't eat any of that either but I can deal with not eating, she would get cranky not eating. Many times when the people cooked her chicken other people would start asking for chicken though which stunk!
Just because we don't eat red meat doesn't mean that when I have people over I don't bbq a big steak for them.

deleted

 

[mhsjax]

Okay, this has been bugging me and I just figured out why. Besides not liking hot dogs, I always think of them as a kids' food. Like if the OP's dd were having her friends (no adults) over for a birthday party, a hot dog bar would seem cute.

OH man, I love hotdogs. I never thought of them as kids food. It is one of the things that I hate to give up, I know they are bad for me, but my whole family loves them.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I couldn't invite people over for a birthday party and just serve hot dogs. I would feel uncomfortable and yes, cheap. This has nothing to do with my guests' expectations or mine when I am invited to someone else's hours/event. It's my issue as a host. I am all for saving money but I would figure out something else to serve.

 

[britfish]

OP here, thank you all for your replies.

Its not a matter of money, that was why I was saying would it appear cheap, because its not a money thing, we could afford the buffet options. Its a grill thing, a waste thing, a management thing.
Someone gets stuck on the grill in the heat of the summer cooking, burgers, dogs, veggies, chicken, etc., then the door is open and shut and the a/c goes out (we just have window units), and I never know who is going to want what so I have to buy a ton of food in anticipation of what people *might* want.
I was really trying to find one main dish and make it fun. I wasn't going to serve just dogs, I mentioned salads, I know sometimes I go to a party and just eat the different kinds of salads and am fine. I would doubt anyone would leave hungry, we are not a picky eating family.
Anyone, thanks for all the input. I really like some of the ideas, like the tortellini salad, or maybe the taco bar. Thanks again for those that gave helpful suggestions!

 

[Poohforyou]

I can't believe some people! "If there's not chicken we won't eat." "It's cheap to serve only one thing." etc.

Really? I've often gone to parties where the main dish is something I don't really care for (hamburgers, steak, hot dogs) and I've never in my life left a party hungry. I'd happily go to a party to celebrate a nieces birthday and eat later if there wasn't a single thing I could tolerate on the menu. I can't imagine that ever happening though. I'm sure there'd be fruit, veggies, salads, chips, cake and ice cream.

When I go to someone's home I don't expect restaurant service.

The OP asked for opinions and people offered them up. I can't imagine anyone who went to a party with a hot dog bar as the main course would be anything less than gracious to their host for inviting them. I know I wouldn't be.

That being said I don't eat 80% of the things the OP listed that she would be serving. At a party with that kind of menu I'd put a little bit on a plate and probably push it around and then spend most of the time socializing.

I'd thank the OP for having me and if another invitation to a party was extended I'd graciously accept.

That doesn't mean if the hostess asked my opinion on what to serve I wouldn't make some suggestions to help round out the offerings.

 

[luvmy3]

OP here, thank you all for your replies.

Its not a matter of money, that was why I was saying would it appear cheap, because its not a money thing, we could afford the buffet options. Its a grill thing, a waste thing, a management thing.
Someone gets stuck on the grill in the heat of the summer cooking, burgers, dogs, veggies, chicken, etc., then the door is open and shut and the a/c goes out (we just have window units), and I never know who is going to want what so I have to buy a ton of food in anticipation of what people *might* want.
I was really trying to find one main dish and make it fun. I wasn't going to serve just dogs, I mentioned salads, I know sometimes I go to a party and just eat the different kinds of salads and am fine. I would doubt anyone would leave hungry, we are not a picky eating family.
Anyone, thanks for all the input. I really like some of the ideas, like the tortellini salad, or maybe the taco bar. Thanks again for those that gave helpful suggestions!

OP, I was just looking through my FN Magazine and saw they have some fun ways to top hot dogs.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/world-class-hot-dogs/pictures/index.html

 

[jordansmomma]

My son's birthday is on the 4th July. One year I did a hot dog bar.
Hot dogs/sausage
buns
chili
cheese
onions
kraut
relish
pasta salad - wacky mac, mini pepperonis, chopped cukes, grape tomatoes, diced red onion, cubes of colby jack, zesty Italian dressing, and whatever other veggie I decided.
Potato salad
pink jello salad
watermelon
grilled corn on the cob

It went really well, I have a few friends that didn't want hot dogs or sausage so they brought burgers & buns. No one complained, there was plenty of food. But when you are planning a party do what you want. You can't please everyone. As long as the birthday boy or girl is happy that is all that matters.

 

[wide awake]

I really can't believe some of these replies. It never occurred to me so many didn't like hot dogs. I LOVE hot dogs, and I have an extremely healthy diet the majority of the time. I see the OP's point...a large group, a meal to serve, and her DD's birthday. When you make more than one main dish it starts getting really complicated, the line for people serving themselves is poky, and the clean up is a big pain. I like to do one main course, a couple sides, and dessert. You're going to someone's house, not a restaurant. If you are so picky that you don't eat normal food than make do, you're not going to starve before you get home. Eat cake. And don't bring something extra for your host to cook! The OP wants to enjoy her daughter's birthday, not be a short order cook. She wants to share it w/ friends and family and she is planning a good summertime, all age friendly meal. Tying the menu to the gift expense...honestly, how nitpicky and tacky can some people be? I was always taught that you are enthusiastic about whatever your hostess serves...unless it is something that makes you ill you eat it and say how wonderful it is. I've eaten some REALLY horrible food at people's homes over the years, but you know what? It didn't kill me, and I didn't hurt their feelings after they were gracious enough to invite me.

 

[tinkmom2]

We used to have a BBQ for my daughters Birthday when she was younger. My Mom in law would invite all of her friends. We would provide the hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, and request everyone bring a side. Aldi's has really inexpensive hot dogs and hamburgers. Usually people would ask me if they should bring anthing anyway. We always had a great time.

 

[Daysleeper40]

I guess YOU missed this part:


I don't want to seem cheap but when we do hamburgers and dogs or chicken everyone seems to want one of everything. I thought it might be more budget and streamlined if we stuck with one food and then the sides (and we will have salads too). Or we could add brats too? I just don't want people to leave hungry. What do you think?


I don't know about you but when I invite people to my home for any occasion I make sure there is enough food to go around. If I were in the situation where I couldn't afford the food or had to worry about someone taking an extra hotdog then I wouldn't invite people over to eat.

If I had to cut back on my food budget for the week to supply an extra $10 worth of meat then that's is what I would do.

How does *ego* play into not letting your guests go home hungry? So what you are saying is it's OK to invite people over to eat and then not feed them enough? That they should be thankful that they were invited at all?

If you think that's OK then you remind me of my mother's friend...she would invite us over to dinner and make ONE roasted chicken and 9 roasted potatoes for 4 adults and 5 kids. And it wasn't a matter of not being able to afford more, she was just really, how shall I put this...frugal...with feeding guests.

Sorry, I was raised by a mother who believed it was better to have too much food then too little for your guests.

You'd probably faint if you saw the amount of food we make for holidays and whenever we have people over.

I still don't see the part where the OP states they can't afford to feed their guests? All they have said is that they want to be more budget and streamlined.

I mention ego as that is how your post came across to me - that you like to put on a big show and have everyone over-indulge to make you feel good.

What I am saying is having one main dish with a veggie option and sides / salads is completely adequate - no one needs to go home hungry with what the OP is suggesting... and yes, of course you should always be thankful to be invited to any party / event! Do you think it is the other way around - that your host should just be grateful to have you there to comment on the food they have offered you?

I don't suppose I would faint if I saw your holiday offerings - my family is much the same. That still doesn't mean that it is compulsory, necessary or those that don't want to spend that much time cooking or, heaven forbid, can't afford to put on some kind of banquet are "cheap". I don't really feel the need to bring anyone's mother into it

Again - you are saying "I wouldn't invite people over to eat" like that is the main point of this party. It's not - DD birthday is why people are being invited over. It's not a dinner party and the guests are not food critics. It's a family birthday bbq.

 

[Daysleeper40]

I really can't believe some of these replies. It never occurred to me so many didn't like hot dogs. I LOVE hot dogs, and I have an extremely healthy diet the majority of the time. I see the OP's point...a large group, a meal to serve, and her DD's birthday. When you make more than one main dish it starts getting really complicated, the line for people serving themselves is poky, and the clean up is a big pain. I like to do one main course, a couple sides, and dessert. You're going to someone's house, not a restaurant. If you are so picky that you don't eat normal food than make do, you're not going to starve before you get home. Eat cake. And don't bring something extra for your host to cook! The OP wants to enjoy her daughter's birthday, not be a short order cook. She wants to share it w/ friends and family and she is planning a good summertime, all age friendly meal. Tying the menu to the gift expense...honestly, how nitpicky and tacky can some people be? I was always taught that you are enthusiastic about whatever your hostess serves...unless it is something that makes you ill you eat it and say how wonderful it is. I've eaten some REALLY horrible food at people's homes over the years, but you know what? It didn't kill me, and I didn't hurt their feelings after they were gracious enough to invite me.

Couldn't agree more

 

[Belle5]

I really can't believe some of these replies. It never occurred to me so many didn't like hot dogs. I LOVE hot dogs, and I have an extremely healthy diet the majority of the time. I see the OP's point...a large group, a meal to serve, and her DD's birthday. When you make more than one main dish it starts getting really complicated, the line for people serving themselves is poky, and the clean up is a big pain. I like to do one main course, a couple sides, and dessert. You're going to someone's house, not a restaurant. If you are so picky that you don't eat normal food than make do, you're not going to starve before you get home. Eat cake. And don't bring something extra for your host to cook! The OP wants to enjoy her daughter's birthday, not be a short order cook. She wants to share it w/ friends and family and she is planning a good summertime, all age friendly meal. Tying the menu to the gift expense...honestly, how nitpicky and tacky can some people be? I was always taught that you are enthusiastic about whatever your hostess serves...unless it is something that makes you ill you eat it and say how wonderful it is. I've eaten some REALLY horrible food at people's homes over the years, but you know what? It didn't kill me, and I didn't hurt their feelings after they were gracious enough to invite me.

This.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

We used to have a BBQ for my daughters Birthday when she was younger. My Mom in law would invite all of her friends. We would provide the hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, and request everyone bring a side. Aldi's has really inexpensive hot dogs and hamburgers. Usually people would ask me if they should bring anthing anyway. We always had a great time.

And this is why we never eat meat at a cook out. The cheap hot dogs are beef, pork, chicken mix and the cheap burgers tend to be mixed with beef hearts(I read ingredients). We do not eat cheap meats & don't feed them to our kids.