lisah0711
♥ her Disney office
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2005
- Messages
- 5,887
Okay, Loser friends, I could use some advice. After starting a weight loss journey together, DH has now been effortlessly maintaining for several months. He just barely watches what he eats and doesn't exercise (though his day job is a little more active than a desk job like mine). He has recently become less supportive of my continued efforts to exercise. Not that he's telling me not to work out, but he just doesn't get why it's important to me. The only time that works for me to exercise is after DD goes to bed, which means it's 9:30pm by the time I'm done and showered. Sometimes I roll with the late time, and other times it frustrates me that I have no time to just relax in the evening. I had a rough weekend (didn't complete my "must do" list and didn't get to my less important to do list). DH thinks that if there are important things on my "must do" list, then I should just skip exercising. I explained why it's not optional, but he said he thinks I don't know how to prioritize my to do list. (This was all part of a bigger "discussion" we are having, but I thought I'd only bring up the exercise part here.) I'm not sure what I'm asking for from you guys, but I really needed someone to talk to.

So, the things that you do for yourself that need to be done like exercising and planning and fixing healthy food is not negotiable. Likewise, tending to your daughter's needs is not negotiable. But some of the activities for her school might be. Take a look at that to do list and see if anything can be left off. Also look and see what can be delegated. Then be willing to let control of some things -- in other words, let your DH dress your daughter funny or do some of the gift shopping, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you want. Last, but not least, don't be afraid to tell your DH exactly what you need because he may not know (even if it should be obvious

When my DS was little DH would let me take the lead in a lot of things because I was "the Mom" and he just didn't feel as comfortable as I did. (I didn't know what I was doing either but apparently I faked it better!). DH would think he was being helpful by asking "what can I do?" over and over. Finally, I just told him I'm not the only adult in this family, every day the same things need to be done and why couldn't he just see what needed to be done and do it without being told? No one had to constantly direct him at work, why did they need to at home?

That really worked. I still have to remind him at times but it is much better. It will also get better as your daughter gets older. It takes a lot of women a long time to figure out that they need to be at the front of the line. Luckily, you already know that!

Tell your DH you can't be that cute girl in the warehouse if you can't take care of yourself! Or let him take care of the must do list for a few days and see how he does with the juggling act . . . he might learn a thing or two.
