Big family trip...more tricky planning questions!

[IvyandLace]

To anyone that can help,

Well, my family will be cruising (primarily for the first time) on the Magic from November 27th-December 4th, 2004. This trip is a celebration trip for my nephew who will be turning 12 this year...and Disney is the classic "turning 12 years old" stop for our family! We will have four rooms with three people in each-basically two adults and a child (ages 16, 14, and 12)...I'm the "child" in the fourth room with my mom and dad since DH can't come with us.

Anyways...I'm still not used to this "not planning every move" vacation! For those of you with older kids, what kind of rules did you have as far as curfew was concerned? Obviously, my older sister will be ultimately in charge of her kids, but since they will be spread out in different cabins with aunts and uncles, I'm afraid that rules will be harder to enforce. What is reasonable?

My mom, younger sis and I are basically "in charge" of planning our cruise and were talking last night about whether or not we should "require" the kids to show up for dinner. At first, we were pretty emphatic about it cuz we're not sure if we'll see them otherwise (and it IS a family vacation!), but now we're not sure...I mean, the kids are already not sure about wearing "dress up " clothes for dinner. Why shouldn't they have the choice to grab a quick pizza or hamburger without be forced to changed out of their bathing suit? Sometimes it's hard to remember how old they are and treat them accordingly! I mean, isn't the whole cruise idea about being able to do "your own thing" (within reason)??

Also...we were a bit concerned about the fact that my 12 year old nephew and 14 year old niece might not like the kids/teens clubs (the first one's stubborn about being treated too much like a "kid" while the second just likes her aunts too much!!)-has anyone had older kids not like the clubs/activities and spend more time than they had anticipated with parents? How did you go about meeting up with them when we have such a big group? What if my 12 year old nephew signs himself out of the club and wanders about the ship looking for my or my younger sis (loves his aunts too!) and we are in an adult area (spa, pool, entertaining seminar, etc.)??

Just curious about the logistics of a large group with teenagers! I want to spend time with them, but I also want to be able to try out some of the adult areas as well. Am I just being anal about this? As I said, we're used to taking the kids to WDW and being really strict about which adult they are with each day and where we are going. This cruise vacation is a totally different idea!

Thanks for any help or advice...IVY

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Well this might not be a popular answer about dinner but since the kids aren't paying, if the adults want to impose that one requirement on them they should be there. My dad is paying for a full family vacation and that is his one request--he doesn't want anything else. The kids are younger though; only one is a teen (15). They can "do their own thing" any other time. As I've read in the passporter and other books though, you might want to review your own family's expectations with them before you set them loose. They are bound to meet kids with values different from their own, and you don't want them led down the wrong road.
If you and your sister are in the adult areas like the spa your nephew will not be able to see you. If you are in the adult pool he might be able to hang out as long as he stays out of the pool, but I"m not sure about that one. There are plenty of things he can do to keep busy if he is out of the clubs--he can go to the arcade, or go to one of the other pools, or watch a movie in the theatre or in the stateroom.
One of my ideas for my niece (the 15 year old) and my oldest who can check herself out (12) is one of those magnetic note pads on the door of the cabin--if they change locations they can jot a note on the door so the adults know where they are. After all, even if they have their freedom I want to know where they are!
Robin M.

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree with Rock'n Robin - you are paying for the cruise, you should dictate if you want them to attend meals with you. A suggestion if they don't want to dress up would be to let them be on their own on formal and semi-formal nights.

Another suggestion would be to have two-way radios. I hear they aren't perfect but you could be contacted if you are needed while in the adult areas. Let them know when you will be there and set up a meeting time.

Good luck!

Denae

 

[figment52]

We were surprised at how many children did come to dinner - all ages. It was as thought the kids had "freedon and flexibility" all day long but they did regroup for dinner. It won't be that bad for the kids because all of their new friends will be at family dinners too.

 

[Lynnyl]

I am trying to figure out the teen rules for my family as well, but I am sure that I will require attendance at the dinners as a family. It will be great to regroup and find out what we've all experienced during the day, plus I want to be sure to have "family" memories as well as individual activities! I am also leaning towards requiring everyone to attend the shows together (its a 4 night cruise), and then being flexible about the rest, including (swallowing hard here) curfew. I'm open to constructive criticism/advice here!
Lynn

 

[want2go2disney]

I would definitely suggest "requiring" your teens, preteens, whatever go to the dinner. I believe they will enjoy it.

Our first cruise, my oldest was almost 13yo (DS) and he absolutely loved going to dinner. We had great waiters that showed magic tricks, folded napkins & paper and told jokes. They also cut my other DS' (8) steak and pretty much made us feel important. These dinners will be things they will remember from the cruise. We still have one of the paper frogs our waiter made out of the children's menu. And we talk about the stuff that made us laugh at the dinner table.

If all else fails and they cannot stand to go to dinner with the family, you could make a deal or an exception that if they try it (once or twice) and they "hate it" , they could skip the rest of the dinners. However, remember that each night you are at a different restaurant with a different menu~variety keeps things interesting.

As for the shows, all my children (DS-13, DS-8, DD-6) loved the shows and we cannot wait to see them again!

For curfews, the only one we let "go out alone" was DS-13. He is very responsible and loved the freedom he had exploring the ship. I could almost always find him on the basketball court . We let him come in when he wanted (for the night), but he never took advantage of it, and besides he wanted to come in for room service. He usually shuffled in around midnight, which for his age, I think, is reasonable.

He never did check out the clubs for his age group. He had more fun exploring on his own (or with Mom & Dad & brother & sister)

 

[jrabbit]

If you are going to REQUIRE attendance at dinner (not an unreasonable request), I suggest you request early seating, then after dinner the kids will disperse to the clubs or teen activities. Look at Barbs site and Daves site for recient Navigators to see what type of activities are offered and if your kids will be interested in them.

My biggest complaint about the kids program is the age range of the teen program (13-18). The 13-14 yo's need some programming targeted at them that starts before noon and ends before 2am (they are in a massive developmental stage and NEED their sleep!).

That beeing (buzz, buzz) said, we strongly suggest that the 12-14 yo return to the cabin around midnight and the older kids show up shortly after the nights (mornings) activities are finished. The other rule is that if you are noisey when you return at that gosh awful hour, we will be noisey when we get up a few hours later too

 

[tkd lisa]

A little more about them hooking up with you in the adult areas. With the exception of Palo's, the spa, and the bars after 9 oclock at night, the kids can step in to get the adult. They won't be allowed to stay (even at the adult pool, they can't just hang around), but they can get you (or another responsible person!!). You can also use your kids club pager to reach an adult. I don't think the teen program gives out the pager, but at least the 12 year old should have a pager issued.

I completely agree that it's reasonable to ask them to attend a certain number of dinners. Many people want at least the chance at a nice family picture with everyone dressed up, since that doesn't come around often. It's up to your family how many is enough.

I'd basically set up the outside limits of reasonable before you leave (and decide how to deal with someone who doesn't follow those outside limits), then get more specific if necessary once you're on board.

Good luck! It sounds like a lot of fun.

 

[jds]

A good compromise (which worked for our extended family) was to ask everyone to have dinner together, and then let people do their own thing for breakfast and lunch. The kids (ages 9 to 15, from 4 different families) all seemed to enjoy the dinners (maybe it helped that they got to sit together at their own private table most of the time!). We never had any complaints, although there was a bit of grumbling from the boys about having to change into long pants and shirts with collars...

As far as rules go, one that we insisted on was that the teens return to their cabins immediately after the teen programming ended for the night--which sometimes wasn't until 1 or 2 am! A lot of teens seem to want to stay "out" all night, particularly on the last night, and the crew told us that they have extra CMs patrolling the decks late on the last night, on the lookout for teens "hooking up."

The 13-year-olds in our group didn't spend any time with the teen club; most of the kids who hung out there on our trip were in the 15- to 17-year-old age range, and weren't too friendly toward the younger teens (particularly those who happened to be their siblings or cousins)... But the 15-year-olds had a great time!

Hope you have a wonderful cruise!

 

[MrsPete]

If I were planning a big family trip, I'd have the "planners" sit down and make a grid for the week's time, then block out certain times as "required family time."

Perhaps you'll decide that the family's going to sit down together for dinner on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Perhaps you'll decide that one of those nights will be picture night. Then perhaps you'll decide that at ___ Port you're all going on the ___ excursion together. Then finally everyone will attend the 8:00 showing of Disney Dreams. Be considerate of the events the teens are likely to do.

Give every person a copy of the time schedule, and explain that they are expected to be at the highlighted events -- but the rest of the week is their own free time. I think knowing expectations ahead of time helps everyone to have a better trip.