Beyond Recovery: Christin's journal of progress (comments welcome)

[rcyannacci]

Well, yesterday was a really tough day for me. I was really down because I couldn't focus on my writing...I'm not sure what the block is, but I hope I figure it out soon. Meanwhile, I was a huge grump yesterday, which let to a fight with my DH about stuff I've been meaning to say for a while, but it came out way too defensive. On top of that, it happened while we were on the way to meet friends for dinner and then Harry Potter festivities. Needless to say I wasn't the best company, and then I got irritated with my friends because I thought they would be more supportive. So, I drowned myself in cake...I guess there's no denying I'm an emotional eater now.

I did have fun at the independent bookstore we went to. I found a whole section on historical fiction (my favorite) and had a hard time picking just one. (I ended up with a Tracy Chevilier book someone recently recommended). Then I went up stairs and picked up a writing book and read a few pages about ideas for organizing a first draft...that was helpful and I started jotting down some ideas on a piece of scrap paper. I started with that today and wrote through a page of ideas easy, some of which I should be able to incorporate in my chapter.

Of course, my friends got impatient with me because I wasn't outside with all the Harry Potter activities, and decided to leave before we even got downstairs! They didn't even come up to tell me; they called me on my cell phone. Like they couldn't walk 100 yards to say goodbye! Ugh- I think I might take a break from social activities for a while and just get some work done. Maybe then I'll be able to take off my cranky pants.

OK, food...
Friday-
B- pieces of melon and a string cheese stick
S- pepperoni slices (took them to the library with me)
L- southwest ceasar salad with some tortilla crumbles
S- sugarfree fudgicle w/ PB
D- 1 piece of pizza (pesto, tomato, and goat cheese), a few bites of salad with fresh mozzerella cheese, and MORE than a few bites of carrot cake. Oh, and a light beer.
S- popcorn w/ butter once we got home (I so didn't need this either )

Exercise- 40 minutes swimming laps, 5 minutes on abs

 

[rcyannacci]

Oops, almost forgot...I finally found a new swimsuit on sale today at Marshalls. It's cute (although not spectacular), will get me through the rest of the season and it was only $15. Next summer, I'll splurge at the beginning of the season and get something fabulous to show off my loss up to that point.

Actually, I think I'm finally at a place where I'm really to set a deadline for my longterm weight goal. So by mid-May of next year (once I've finished classes and passed my defense), I plan to be at 160, my ideal weight according to my doctor. That's 44 lbs to go, but I'm not looking to break any speed records.

 

[Lesli54]

Sounds like you just need a little refocus. Of course, little incidents with the DH can through off a lot for a while. Hopefully, a short while. I agree, the friends were rude.

So, maybe you should let some of the social activities go. Just relax and enjoy some quite time at home. Sometimes when I need to refocus my attention on something, I just go and reorganize a closet or room. It's funny, but it gives time to think, organize my thought, organizes my house, and even if it's just a closet, I feel better prepared.

As far as the cake. Forget about it. Actually, I think that for an "emotional eater" you have done really well. It's not like you are eating cake everyday, or candy, or cookies, etc. You woke up this morning and started again, that's what is important.

And the cranky pants............if they are getting too big, get them off and take them to good will right away!

Have a great day!

 

[pearlieq]

It sounds like yesterday was rough. I share your belief in the restorative power of cake, but it never really comes through for us, eh?

I'm sorry your friends weren't too helpful--it always stings when you're counting on them for support and not really getting it.

I think you can shake this off, though. The idea of pulling back sounds like a good one to me. It's always better to miss your friends than to see too much of them.

I hope today is a great day for you and that you get some R&R!!!

 

[rcyannacci]

Well, I think I'm ready to take off my cranky pants . I had a much better day yesterday. After my page of notes, I managed to rough out 2 more pages of my draft. I think I'm on the threshold...there's always this point where I'm just ready to draft and after that, I'm golden. Getting there is almost always a struggle, though.

Saturday-
B- fresh melon (probably should have eaten more, but I was on my way out the door to Curves, then decided while I was out I would shop a bit. I was starving by 11:00)
L- stopped at Baja Fresh and got a tostado (tortilla bowl w/ black beans and salad) and a cup of tortilla soup. Ate most of the tostado but saved the soup for later.
S- the rest of the soup
D- BBQ chicken on the grill, fried green tomatos, and a salad. Yes, back to the fried food, but my Mom had brought me green tomatos from her garden and they were starting to turn red and I knew she would ask me how they were the next time we talk. Anyway, they were really good. Darn my Southern heritage!
S- sugarfree fudgicle w/ peanut butter.

Curves 40 minutes, 5 minutes leg lifts

OK- I think I need to reign in my eating a bit, working on portions and making sure I'm not going too overboard with the carbs. I'm not going back to South Beach, but I learned a lot while on it so I should be able to implement some better choices and make sure my progress doesn't slow too much.

I showed my swim suit to DH last night and he said it looked great! (Of course, he's really trying to be nice to me after our tiff, so what else would he say ). But I had a really exciting moment when I starting thinking that I would have to buy a new swimsuit before our WDW trip next May. It was like I knew that I would be able to stick to what I'm doing so the progress seemed inevitable. This is a huge step for me, I think...being able to see the long term goal as achievable though a series of short steps and everyday committment. In other words, my head is finally in the right place so my body should be ready to follow.

 

[Lesli54]

Glad to hear that you are starting to feel back to normal again.

Re-evaluating the food situation is always good from time to time. Of course, a smaller swimsuit before the next WDW trip is alway a great motivator.

Have a wonderful day.

 

[rcyannacci]

Headed to the Library early today and not walking out until I've written 3-4 substantial pages!!!

Sunday-
B- few pieces of melon, ww english muffin w/ PB
L- random lunch...some left-over fried green tomatoes and pepperoni chips
S- sugarfree fudgicle w/ PB
S- handful of cashews
D- roasted zucchini w/ ground turkey stuffing (excellent!) and mashed cauliflower/brocoli (like mashed potatoes, and so good!)

Swam laps 40 minutes (had a great workout, although maybe because it was fueled by my frustration).

I'm having lunch on campus today with my friends who ditched me the other night. I'll probably just let it go and talk about the weather or something

Later gators! Hope everyone has a good day!

 

[goldcupmom]

Good Morning, Christin, and Good Writing Day!! I know you can do this!!

Glad the cranky pants are almost off.

As for the cake, well, you know I'm an emotional eater, too, so what can I say, it happens, it happened, it will likely happen again, but we live through it, we try to learn from it and we move on. It is not the end of the world as we know it.

I'm super happy about your new swimsuit. Always a boost when something looks good and is a new smaller size.

Hope you are having an awesome Monday. By WDW the next suit will be even smaller and even more wonderful!!

 

[Lesli54]

Sounds like you had a pretty good day yesterday. I think you will make it through lunch today as long as you keep things light.

Last night, DD18 was talking about the time periods and places that she loves and would love to delve into for archealogical research. They all seemed to come back to some great theater eras. In fact she even mentioned that they were times when the theater really came into view and I thought about you and all the work you are doing on your paper. Of course, my Gran couldn't understand what that had to do with archealogy, but I do and I am sure that you do.

Good luck on the writing. Have a great day!

 

[Cruise04]

Congrats on the new lower size swimsuit - that WILL be me someday.

Funny, this weekend we were talking in my house something about swimming and vacation, or something like that, and I made a comment that we can't go anywhere that there is a swimsuit requirement until I get down in my weight. That gave me some motivation because in April we are going to Hilton Head and I can't wait. I hope to be smaller, although I know I won't be all the way there yet.

Congrats again!!! Keep up the good work. And...

Keep on
Chris

 

[pearlieq]

Hi!!

I hope you're having a wonderful, productive day today!

When you have the time, would you mind sharing the recipe for the suffed zucchini? It sounds really good!!

Keep up the great work!

 

[rcyannacci]

Here's the recipe- I'll post it in your thread too, pearlieq, but just in case other are interested (It's sooooo good!)

We saw it on Everyday Italian, the food network show. Here it is from their website (they also stuff peppers, but we just did the squash):

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_30881,00.html
Stuffed Zucchini and Red Bell Peppers

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion, grated
1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
1 large egg
3 tablespoons ketchup
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/3 cup grated Pecorino Romano
1/4 cup dried plain bread crumbs
1 pound ground turkey, preferably dark meat
2 zucchini, ends removed, halved lengthwise and crosswise
1 short orange bell pepper, halved and seeded
1 short red bell pepper, halved and seeded
1 short yellow bell pepper, halved and seeded
1 1/2 cups marinara sauce


Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Lightly drizzle the olive oil into a 13 by 9 by 2-inch baking dish. Whisk the onion, parsley, egg, ketchup, garlic, salt, and pepper in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese and bread crumbs. Mix in the turkey. Cover and refrigerate the turkey mixture.

Using a melon baller or spoon, carefully scrape out the seeds and inner flesh from the zucchini, leaving 1/8-inch-thick shells. Be careful not to pierce through the skin. Fill the zucchini and pepper halves with the turkey mixture, dividing equally and mounding slightly. Arrange the stuffed vegetables in the baking dish. Pour the marinara sauce over the stuffed vegetables.

Bake uncovered until the vegetables are tender and beginning to brown and a thermometer inserted into the filling registers 165 degrees F, about 45 minutes. Transfer the stuffed vegetables to a platter and serve.

 

[rcyannacci]

Leslie- yes, in particular there's been a lot done archeologically with ancient Greek and Roman theatre and the Elizabethan playhouses (as you probably discovered on your recent trip ) Studys about cultural performance traditions are fairly hot right now in anthropology departments. Anyway, it sounds like she's really ready for college!

Chris- Thanks for stopping by! April sounds like a great goal for a new swimsuit size, and I love Hilton Head. My family's been going there for a number of years. I'll miss it next year when we go camping at WDW (but not too much

Julie- yes, I'm just about ready to put away the cranky pants. Being in a bad mood is exhausting!

Plus I think I'm making myself sick with stress over deadlines. This won't do, since I'm leaving town on Sat. and need to be well. So, I'm really going to try to stop beating myself up for not writing as fast as I think I ought to. I slept in this morning, and will be off to the library again soon. I'll pick up a sandwich on the way so I don't have to think about food.

I am on page 6 of my introduction, so the draft is underway and starting to take shape. I'll be glad when I finish this section because that's when the fun starts and I can start filling in my research...I'm actually fascinated with my subject, a stage designer who was a part of the NYC Greenwich Village Bohemian art scene at the beginning of the 20th century...if you've ever seen the movie "Reds," this is the period I'm discussing in this chapter.

OK- saving it for the chapter...
Monday-
B- 1 1/2 mini quiches, leftover from parent's visit
S- string cheese stick
L- starving!!! Grilled ham sandwich, package of Bakes Lays, a pickle, and 1/2 a serving of gelatto. (lunch with friends was fine...we kept it light and giggly)
(major headache in the afternoon...made me nauseous and pretty cranky)
D- some leftover veggies from last night, the brocoli dish and stuffed zucchini, plus a small salad. Didn't eat too much really, since I was still a bit queasy.
S- sugar-free fudgicle and PB (with this, I was totally trying to make myself feel better. I realized the futility about 1/2 way through...but I guess it could have been worse.)

Curves 40 minutes, 5 min on abs and 5 min on legs

I think I might take a break on the exercise today, since I'm feeling a little sore. Plus, I won't be worried about time while I write.

Monday-

 

[pearlieq]

Thanks so much for the recipe--I really appreciate it and it sounds delicious!!!

Your dissertation sounds really interesting. What a fascinating topic! Even if it's not going as quickly as you would like, I really admire your discipline to tackle it day in and day out.

I hope you have a great day today! Feel better!!!

 

[Cruise04]

I woke up this morning with a sore throat and, like you, said NO WAY!!!! We are going camping this weekend and I don't want to be sick.

You are doing great - and good luck on your dissertation. I work in an office with Ph.D. or Psy.D. psychology students and this is the time they are working on their dissertations too - lots of paper comes flying in and out of here some days!!!!!

Keep on
Chris

 

[Lesli54]

Yep, you definitely need to relax a little. After all, you can only write so fast and trying to make yourself write faster than you are capable of at any given moment just leads to tons of frustrations which leads to the fridge. So for now, just write and the rest will come.

Taking a day off from exercise is not a bad idea. Maybe you should also consider giving yourself a "spa treatment" later today. Just light some great smelling lavender candles (always relaxing) in the bathroom, add some great soothing music, and take a nice long bath filled with great smelling oils or bubbles. That will let go of frustrations and rejuevenate you. Hmmmmmmmmm. I think I should go get a candle and put it on my desk while I organize my office, maybe some music to..........

Anyway, have a great day and good luck with the writing. One day when you publish something, I will read it, of course only an autographed copy.

 

[rcyannacci]

Just wanted to say thanks,y'all for posting. I checked my thread mid-day during a break, and what you wrote was really motivating.

Yes, when I do publish, autographed copies all around! (Of course, that will be a few years off )

Happy day...I got in a solid 5 hours of writing, not including breaks and such. Off to figure out dinner...

 

[rcyannacci]

Tuesday-
B- 1 small veggie quiche
L- turkey sandwich/sub on ww bread; big, but I split it in half and ate the first at 11 and the other an hour later. (Sometimes people are just so friendly. I got to the sub place at 10:50 and it didn't open for another 10 minutes, but the owner saw me and opened the door and made me a sandwich early. He's Greek and I've already really liked him, but NOW I'm a loyal customer. Plus, I always feel good supporting independent businesses in Austin.)
S- handful of cashews
D- chicken strips salad from Chick-fil-A (OK- I was tired after the library and on my own for dinner, so I just grabbed this on the way home. It was SO good!
S- the usual...sugarfree fudgicle w/ PB

No exercise, except 50 ab crunches while watching TV

I did well yesterday at the library; I had the time to clear my thoughs and focus on my primary goal for the chapter. Today I should be able to go back and finish the two sections I was working on so I'll be ready to start the archival part of the chapter when I return from San Francisco.

On Sat. DH and I will fly to Pittsburgh to spend a few days with his family. His grandmother is having a big party, and his uncle was nice enough to fly us up from TX as part of her surprise. I'm a little stressed because, as much as I love all of them, his mom has been known to make comments about my weight, and I'm just dreading the discussion when she sees I've lost weight. Plus, we are staying with them, so I won't have any control over what I'm eating, which always makes me nervous. I think the only option is just to suck it up and eat what everybody else is eating, so I don't offend anyone, and watch portions. DH also said he'd drive me to the local Curves while we're there.

Then on Wed. I will fly from Pittsburgh to San Francisco for a 4 day national conference. This is the one I attend each summer, so I'm much more involved and will be hopping busy with meetings and such. I'll present some of my research on Friday, but in a much more informal roundtable format. So, time to take off my cranky pants and put on my "schmoozing" pants..."Hi. I'm Christin from the University of Texas...I don't think we've met before, but I've read your scholarship..." Bleh! I wish they'd just give me the degree, give me the job, and let me teach!

Anyway, if I'm not as present on the boards the next 10 days or so, that's why.

Hope everyone has a great day!

BTW, Lesli...speaking of spa days, I just searched mapquest and found a Lush Cosmetics store down the street from my conference in SF...do they have Lush in Chicago? Absolutely fantastic bath products (like Basin at DD) especially bath bombs, which are my favorite, but also shampoo bars, lotion, etc. I still have about $40 of my birthday money hidden away in my wallet that I think I'm going to use for a spa splurge!

 

[Cruise04]

Hope you have a great trip and a great conference. Good luck on your presentation - I do hope it goes really well for you.

Good progress at the library yesterday - keep up the good work!!!

Keep on
Chris

 

[rcyannacci]

Wednesday
B- 1/2 the sandwich I bought for lunch and a string cheese stick (walked out of the house w/o even thinking about breakfast
L- the other 1/2, turkey on a croissant...could have been better, but I picked it up quick at the grocery.
S- flat bread w/ hummus and spinach dip...didn't eat enough at the library and came come starving!!!
D- 1 link of sausage (lamb and mint from the gourmet market...yummy!), small roasted sweet potato w/ rosemary, and a salad w/ vinegrette.
S- sugarfree fudgicle w/ PB

Curves 40 minutes, 5 min abs in the evening.

Well, even if though I wasn't paying attention to food, I did good work at the library yesterday. I ended with 11 pages completed, plus a place to start when I pick up again. Unfortunately, I have to leave it to work on my conference presentations today. And tomorrow I will be packing, etc. but maybe I'll get a little bit of writing in.