Hi! We were there last month and did the 1900 Park Fare dinner (the villans dinner) at the GF with the Queen of Hearts, Captain Hook, Gov. Radcliffe and Prince John. Our 4 1/2 yr. old son loved it. It's a buffet dinner (yummy strawberry soup) and the characters spend lots of time at all the tables....it seemed more relaxing than Chef Mickey's (which we also did). Don't let the "villans" name mislead you....the characters don't act scary in any way...in fact, they seemed to go out of their way to be sensitive to little ones that might be a little squeemish near them.
I know you said you'd like to go to one at a hotel.....we heard good things about the Cape May at the Beach Club...but never made it there (oddly enough, because we were even staying at the Yacht Club). We did, however, do the character lunch at Crystal Palace (in MK) with Piglet, Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Tigger and it's also a buffet. Plus, it was a nice way to take a break at the MK in the middle of the day.
Lastly, even though it's nuts trying to get the PS anymore, we did Cinderella's Royal Table for breakfast with Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Jasmine. If you can't get a PS 60 days out...try calling 2 days out (right at 7 am EST) from the day you want to go. That's what we did and it worked, we got an 8 am PS and had a wonderful time. We weren't rushed at all and it's truly magical when the Princesses all sweep into the room with the Disney music playing in the background. When we came back downstairs, the Fairy Godmother was sitting on the throne, so we got pics with her, too. Hope you have a wonderful time!