Believe in God, but not the church?

[mickeysgal]

We live in the south and if you miss one Sunday in my area you get a lecture and are made to feel you are a terrible person.

We are also in the South and have avoided belonging to any one church for very similar reasons. We attended one church, who had an excellent pastor, but watch out when you walk in. I've never seen heads whip around as fast as these people did...they watch who's there, who's NOT there, and what you're wearing. Too invasive for us. If you didn't attend, you better bet that on Monday you'd hear "why weren't you at church yesterday"? My daughter does attend youth at the Baptist church and enjoys it for the most part. She was rather upset though, when the tsunami hit, the message for the youth service was that the tsunami hit where it did because they didn't worship the (their) correct God. That floored me and its for this judgemental behavior that we purposely don't attend there as a family.

 

[mickeysgal]

You don't like the Church Lady?! "Who could it be...who could it be...... SATAN!!?!"

I loved this skit!!

 

[WeirdEyes]

I consider myself a christian, but don't go to church regularly. I'm also told my many church-going people that because I don't go to church, I'm not a christian. I think that God should be the judge of that because He only knows what my relationship is with Him.

I got turned off of church at a young age also. I was raised a Nazarene and was made to go to church every time the doors were open. We weren't allowed to wear shorts, dance with boys, swim with boys, or go to the movies. I wore shorts to the mall one time and got reported. You would've thought that I had murdered someone.

I know not all churches or faiths are like that; I've just yet to find one that I 'clique' with.

 

[mickeysgal]

Exactly. Well said. I think we try to make church about us and our feelings, rather than about our worship of God. That's why you see a lot of excuses about why people don't go. "I don't think...", "too many conflicts", "self-righteous, judgmental people", etc... It's not about them, it's about you and your worship of God. And He does believe it is important for us to gather together. And also, like has been said earlier on this post, I think a lot of reasons why people don't go is b/c church can often be very convicting and step on people's toes, and a lot of people would rather not hear how they ought to be living, so they say "church isn't for me."

I can see both sides. I will say that we enjoy going to church Sunday mornings and we feel that this strengthens our personal relationship with God. It doesn't detract from, but strengthens. However, its all the outside stuff that makes the church going process such a turn-off sometimes. The adult Sunday school, the Wed. night service, and even the Sunday night service. Can't you just go to Church on Sunday and that be enough? Here...where we live...you can't just attend service. You're expected to attend these other services and if you don't you're labeled in this town. Thats why I feel some people avoid this altogether and keep "belonging" to a particular church at arm's length.

 

[Buckalew11]

I can see both sides. I will say that we enjoy going to church Sunday mornings and we feel that this strengthens our personal relationship with God. It doesn't detract from, but strengthens. However, its all the outside stuff that makes the church going process such a turn-off sometimes. The adult Sunday school, the Wed. night service, and even the Sunday night service. Can't you just go to Church on Sunday and that be enough? Here...where we live...you can't just attend service. You're expected to attend these other services and if you don't you're labeled in this town. Thats why I feel some people avoid this altogether and keep "belonging" to a particular church at arm's length.

I think those are opportunities for worship. That is all. Some may disagree with me but I don't think you have to go to church every time the door is open. My church has those same worship times as you listed. I am sure there are people who think I am "sinful" for not going to all of them. But truly, I feel no guilt. IF the Bible told me to go to church 2x on Sundays and do SS class and midweek service, I'd do it. But church attendence is a MAN-MADE rule. I think it is great to offer as many times of worship for a believer. And if you want to and can, attend them all--just don't judge me for not being able to go or choosing not to go.
I love SS class, as I get to ask as many questions as I can think of in one hour!

Instead of people letting it bother them that someone missed you at church Sunday or they are being nosey but commenting and wondering how come you weren't there, just say "thanks" and go on or just say "it is none of your business"...

 

[2funny2c]

And also, like has been said earlier on this post, I think a lot of reasons why people don't go is b/c church can often be very convicting and step on people's toes, and a lot of people would rather not hear how they ought to be living, so they say "church isn't for me."

That is very true. When you go to Church and become a member you become accountable to that body of Christ. When you are not in church, people will tend to call you and ask you why you werent there for 2 reasons. First, and hoepfully foremost, they care about you and wanted to know if anything prevented you from being there like an illness. Second, we as Christians are to hold each other accountable. See, and that is what many people dont like. Being accountable for their actions. Being held responsible for areas of sin in their lives. When people are living in and with sin and are Christians and they come to church they are convicted by the Holy Spirit about their sin and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Then they make up excuses and listen to their fleshly desires instead of that conviction. They listen to the great lie they tell themselves. Its OK to not be in church. In turn, they look for excuses justifying their position and denial of dealing with sin. Instead of looking inward they look outward and blame everyone around them. Just listen to this thread. "The Church is full of hypocrites" and all kind of excuses.

It is just a microcosm of a greater problem in today's society. Not taking responsibility and blaming others for OUR problems, issues, and yes, sin. In the Church we are called to hold each other accountable. 1 Cor 5:12-13

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside....

We just need to speak the truth in love and that is what many Christians struggle with.

Don't believe that lie. It is not OK to be a Christian and not go to church. Look deep within yourself and your motivation before you cast the blame on others.

 

[scubamouse]

I think you can be Christian and not attend Church but my experience has been that attending Church helps me with my faith. I do have serious doubts about some forms of Chrisitianity and whether they're really how Jesus wanted us to celebrate him and His message.

 

[Buckalew11]

I know many will not but I agree with what you are saying. I have used those excuses for those same type of reason (just being honest). I remember a time 20 years ago that I just didn't want to attend church anymore. I remember praying to God and telling him what I was thinking and feeling--the church being full of hypocrites was #1 on my list. I believe the answer to that prayer was that I wasn't responsible for those other people and whether they were hypocrites or not. That was between them and God and because God said to assemble yourselves together, that was what I was supposed to do (for my own good).

And I'll admit that I do have problems with accountability and commitment. I mean, if I go to church and get involved I'll be asked to "do" something. I've been guilty of avoiding such because that would mean commitment. Ugh!

 

[JPN4265]

Amen. Finally someone said it. Now let's see what happens...

I spoke with God this morning, and he told me that I was doing fine and not to listen to the shallow people of the world who tell you that you are not a christain if you don't go to church. He told me that they need to sell used cars or shoes instead of preaching to the good people.

 

[WeirdEyes]

A guy that I work with is a great christian. He doesn't attend church on Sundays because he became disillusioned with the politics. He now goes to a local park where the poor and homeless hangs out on Sundays. He spends the day talking to them about Jesus and feeding them lunch. He also brings clothes, etc. that people donate to them. I think what he does is a wonderful thing and I think that Jesus would definitely approve. He also goes to Mexico on missions.

 

[cardaway]

I spoke with God this morning, and he told me that I was doing fine and not to listen to the shallow people of the world who tell you that you are not a christain if you don't go to church. He told me that they need to sell used cars or shoes instead of preaching to the good people.

Oh come on now, these posts are important. If it wasn't for them, who would believe there are people out there willing to call reasons "excuses" and claim superiority?

 

[ford family]

Hey 2funny2c, your writing style is kind of familiar.
Remind me, who were you before?

ford family

 

[Buckalew11]

A guy that I work with is a great christian. He doesn't attend church on Sundays because he became disillusioned with the politics. He now goes to a local park where the poor and homeless hangs out on Sundays. He spends the day talking to them about Jesus and feeding them lunch. He also brings clothes, etc. that people donate to them. I think what he does is a wonderful thing and I think that Jesus would definitely approve. He also goes to Mexico on missions.

I don't think anyone would disagree that he is doing a wonderful ministry. God bless him for showing God's love to others.

I don't think that what he is doing takes the place of what assembling together can do for your soul though. But I am not saying it is wrong in any way. I just really believe deep in my heart that it is good to have a caring church to find support and a common bond that includes worship and learning. Just my thoughts--right or wrong.

 

[cardaway]

I don't think that what he is doing takes the place of what assembling together can do for your soul though. But I am not saying it is wrong in any way. I just really believe deep in my heart that it is good to have a caring church to find support and a common bond that includes worship and learning. Just my thoughts--right or wrong.

So what exactly IS the difference? The number of people involved?

The story sounds like how many churches may have started out.

 

[hokiefan33]

I spoke with God this morning, and he told me that I was doing fine and not to listen to the shallow people of the world who tell you that you are not a christain if you don't go to church. He told me that they need to sell used cars or shoes instead of preaching to the good people.

I, nor anyone else on here, never said you're NOT a Christian if you don't go to church, just that SINCE you are a Christian that you SHOULD go to church. As to being shallow, I guess the Bible is also similarly shallow when it says "do not forsake the gathering together of believers." Of course, if God Himself told you you're OK, who is anyone else to say different, right?

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Church at times can turn into this place where you are just constantly being told
you don't give enough money, you don't give enough time, you don't attend enough - alot of the Church is run by committee, not God.


I can see where people get frustrated with it.

 

[ellyn2000]

I believe in God and attend church regularly (every time the doors are opened) I understand why some don't feel comfortable going to church, yet I believe all of the reasons I used to justify staying at home are addressed in the bible. Problem with my brother? I'm to go to them, not wait for them to come to me. Hurt feelings because of words spoken or gossip? The bible is clear on how we should manage our words. Someone I respect or trust has sinned or let me down? That's in there, too. I go because it brings fellowship, accountability, responsibility, opportunities to serve God and my community and hear His word/praise/worship into my life. I do not judge anyone who does not go for whatever reason they have. I only want to encourage those who haven't found the right church to keep seeking until you find one that can become your home church. Sorry if it seems like I'm preachy. I looked for years before I found not only a church I could love, but I also finally became ready to commit to a church instead of plugging into the people in it because they will inevitably let you down.

 

[hokiefan33]

Church at times can turn into this place where you are just constantly being told

you don't give enough money, you don't give enough time, you don't attend enough

Maybe you don't. Ever thought of that?

 

[2funny2c]

Oh come on now, these posts are important. If it wasn't for them, who would believe there are people out there willing to call reasons "excuses" and claim superiority?

I don't understand why you take this snide and condensending tone. I didnt claim anyone superior over another. As far as reason vs excuse. There is a fine line between the two and is often very subjective. My child may give me what they perceive is a reason why they did something but in all actuality is an excuse. I apologize if you think that I was trying to clain superiority one way or another.

I will say that its easy for people who have a nebulous spirituality and are basically what amounts to a deist to have unrealistic expectations of Christians. Its easy to sit back and criticize a Christian when they fall short of your definition of what it means to be a Christian. They avoid criticisms themselves because they dont identify themselves with anything.

I am sorry that you may have been hurt by organized religions some time in your life. That is why we put our trust and faith in God not in people. People will ALWAYS let us down. That doesnt mean we just give up on people. We fellowship together in corporate worship in church to help each other out and identify one another's blind spots. When we see a brother or sister in Christ fall we are to help pick him up and restore him. Does this always happen in every church? well, probably not but more often than not it does and i have seen it happen many times within the church throughout my years.

I will pray that God will soften your heart on this matter and take away some of the obvious bitterness that you foster towards Christians and/or organized religions.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Maybe you don't. Ever thought of that?

Maybe I don't, but like most humans I'm doing the best I can.

Churches can be very demanding and very insular. Sometimes it feels like they want you to shut off all contact you have with anything outside of the Church.

There are many Charities and Activities that I feel are important -- that are not Church led. There are some Mission projects that our Church runs (one in particular) that I prefer not to participate in because I feel it is wrong.

If Church were simly about the Sunday scripture message, then I would have no problem with it. But when it comes down to the constant bickering between a certain group of ladies over who gets to stand up on the stage in front of the microphones and lead the singing every Sunday....

well it gives me a headache and there are weeks that I just need a break.