Behavioral questions

[alizesmom]

What can I do to reduce my dd3s self abusive behavior? It is probably related to a not yet diagnosed syndrome but currently I don't care about the cause. When upset, tired, frustrated on in physical distress she hits herself with her fists in her face. This behavior has lasted as long as 4 hours. I remove her from any stressful situation, make sure she is physically okay and treat anything (give tylenol, suction her, give her oxygen, give melatonin if overtired), talk quietly to her and hold her hands to prevent hitting. I can't distract her or discuss the issues with her (she doesn't understand at her age level), time out would not work for the same reason. This is so utterly frustrating and heartbreaking. How can I protect my baby from herself? Karen

 

[westernmom]

Does she hit her face or her head? Would a toddler bike helmet help protect her? Do they make any sort of helmet for young kids with a face shield? I know I've seen costume-type helmets (i.e. play firefighter helmets) with shields, but those wouldn't be strong enough to help.

It is very maddening when a young child doesn't understand that they can potentially injure themselves. My youngest ds would head bang on hard objects (the wood floor, windows, the toilet lid) when he was about 9-20 months of age. (He had already been diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, but the diagnosis didn't end the behavior.) Fortunately he was small enough that I could pick him up and try to provide a different form of stimulation (we swang, etc.). I know how hard it is to have to watch your child every second (and exhausting as well).

Hugs

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Wow! That must be tough for you. It sounds like you have tried lots of things to get her to stop hurting herself. Have you discussed the behavior with her pediatrician or perhaps a psychologist or behaviorist who has experience with very young kids? You might be able to get some ideas from them.

I will tell you something that works in for a child in my classroom (I work in a special ed preschool and we have one particular autistic child who get very frustrated and sometimes bangs his head). We have a bucket of small toys that the child loves such as Koosh balls, squishy balls, plastic slinkies, etc. We only bring out "the bucket" when he's having a really hard time. We say something like, "Oh Timmy, you look like you need a special toy from the bucket to help you calm down." Then we open the cabinet and pull it out and make a big deal of letting him choose a toy. He gets to hold the toy and squeeze it and it usually calms him down. These are considered "special" toys that he can't choose to play with all the time. They're a novelty so he will perk up when we bring them out. If that doesn't work, we will sometimes blow bubbles which gets his attention immediately. Or, we take him for a walk outside.

I hope this is helpful to you!

 

[stenickar]

A child that I worked with was very self abusive. He wore a hockey helmet that had a mask as he would poke his eyes as well as hitting himself. We also had to use arm splints that held his arms out straight when he was being self abusive. It is so very hard to watch a child hurt themself. Usually one behavior has to be replaced with another, more positive one. Have you tried deep pressure or maybe brushing to give her some extra sensory input? You may also want to try "squeezing" her or wrapping her tightly in a blanket. HTH

 

[bookwormde]

You did not give additional background so it is a little hard to give specific ideas but if you are working with an OT we found that for stress reduction (from both sensory and social stresses and frustration) that “steamrolling” provided a level of tactile input that would help with almost any situation. This is not easy to do outside the house but if you are “trained” by an experienced OT it may help with a level of input equivalent to what your child is receiving from the hitting. For those who do not know “steamrolling” is where you take some round object like a large (24”+ ball) and somewhat flexible item and roll it lengthwise (typically) over your child who is laying down with some of your body weight on it. It sound silly but many children (and adults) love it. It might allow you to exchange a “healthy” alternative to the current maladaptive manifestation you are experience now. Also “rug wrapping” is also an enjoyed alternative for some children.

Do not know if it will work but it give you couple mores thing to have an OT try, just be sure that you have an OT who is highly experience with these sort of manifestations and their probable causes.

bookwormde

 

[mechurchlady]

I learned to recognize self abuse coming on but sometimes am so out of my mind like exhaustion, food allergies and stress that I do not stop in time.

Your child should not get to the point of a 4 hour meltdown. Preventative measures need to be taken before the meltdown happens. Education is very important and you and her need to learn to recognize and plan for meltdowns so as to lessen or prevent them. Bookworm has mentioned some things.

She may want to play another hour on a game but you and she have to stop the game before she is having a hissy fit that becomes a meltdown. She may seem energetic and bouncy but be near her breaking point. She might not tell you that she is uncomfortable in a situation and hide that discomfort until she has a meltdown. In public you can give her a toy to play with or something to use up nervous energy. Avoid the mall on busy days so she is not stressed is another. Keep her stress and exhaustion to a minimum. Slowly build up the stress and get her used to dealing with stress.

As a self abuser I can say that the helmet would not work as the kid would keep beating on the helmet and hurt her hands instead. As a kid I would slap my head and say i was stupid. As an adult I would hold a knife to my arm and yell at mom to stop it or else as that knife represented the pain she caused. Now i still have meltdowns when tired or sick. I tend to break things, bite myself or worse hit walls when mom is involved. I got scars from one time i keyed myself. Recently I came home in a meltdown and just said no. I saw it was a meltdown and stopped before I could not stop. This morning was bad so I took a nap. It took me over 45 years to finally recognize and learn to deal with my "tantrums" or meltdowns.

I love to wrap up in the blankets snug. There is something about being held tight that is calming and comforting. Sorry if this upsets anyone, been hiding a lot of things a long time. sigh.

 

[Ennazus8810]

As the poster above me stated, learning her triggers for bx is going to be key to protecting her. Once you figure out when she will abuse, you can stop it before it gets that far. This won't work 100%, but has been very effective for me in the past. Once you see the pattern, you can work with interventions to find what is effective to prevent it.

Contact your local mental health center (every place has somewhere that services that area). There are behavior specialists who will work with your family to develop interventions to help your daughter, and link you to any other testing, resources you may need. (Including the above mentioned helmets, ect if necessary-and they are covered under insurance if done correctly).

Good Luck!

 

[BeckyScott]

One thing that will probably help-- like you don't already have enough to do--

Keep a diary for a few weeks and see if you can find a pattern. Keep track of what she did that day, who else was around, the stress level in the house that day, what she ate, how well she sleeps, what meds she took... along with the meltdowns she has, how long they last, what happened immediately before... make a chart and stick it on the fridge and jot notes.

If you can make yourself do that consistantly for 2-3 weeks, which will be a huge pain I know, you might find something in there that is contributing. You have to turn into a bit of a detective. That information will also be good when you do take her to a psychologist or ped or whatever, they might catch something you didn't notice.

 

[bookwormde]

I second BeckyScott, This will also help you become a “clinical observer” of your child. This is not an easy thing to do as an emotionally involved parent, but is important when immediate intervention is not needed. The insight that you can supply your child’s clinical staff will be invaluable.

bookwormde

 

[mechurchlady]

BeckyScott has the best solution. This is how I am slowly handling the problem. I want to play my game for another half hour and can but really must stop. Often people go beyond their limits but do not show that their are at the stopping point. Right now I know I am pushing myself to hard and am watching for signs I am loosing control. It is hard work but once you know the triggers, what her limits are and signs of her going to far then you can stop these meltdowns or lessen them. In time you can then push her limits a bit so that eventually she can handle more stress and situations.

hugs and good luck.

 

[alizesmom]

Thanks for the ideas. Karen