Behavior Challenge Thread

[GraceLuvsWDW]

"It's a tough world, get used to it now"?

Ugh. Last year we got a lot of he's being manipulative. We are well aware that our children need to function in the real world and we are doing our best to get them there. And while we do live in a world of deadlines, we usually get more than 60 seconds to meet them. Once again, do you need me to fly down on my broom? because I will!

DS doesn't get full grades in all of his subjects because he doesn't always hand his homework in. I'm okay with that because he needs to learn strategies for not losing things and get them from point A to point B. But again we're working with him in on it.

Have the teacher to do 30 math problems in 60 seconds with problems suitable for her level, let see how she handles it.

Let me tell you-I have been mad as %&^&& over this! I have seriously considered giving that math teacher a piece of my mind.

Add to all of this that my old issues with the public school finally got "formally" resolved through OCR, and the 7 page "contract" states that the district is required to provide "compensatory services" to my daughter but only if she re-enrolls into thre district. However, in the past 6 months I have personally known two other families who have had the same treatment that they are in trouble for wih dd!! Talk about flaming mad!!!!!


One girl (who has since enrolled in dd class) has some serious adhd issues. She was failing 3rd grade in public school. The mom took dr's paperwork to principal of school and that principal actually told her they could do more "off the record" than if she started the whole bureaucracy. So she actually had the mom sign a letter stating she DIDN'T want any testing! Then the teacher told the mom "your child is a good candidate for homeschooling, there's nothing else we can do".

So I feel the chances that the district will actually follow through on this government mandated contract are pretty slim. And retaliation? It's forbidden but they don't know small towns.

So we are just making do here.....


And as far as the manipulative comments about your ds, we saw a psychologist who stated my dd was far too manipulative to be as and that "as children cannot manipulate others". What a waste of time and money!!!

Glad you are well, even with all this venting I truly feel dd has come amazingly far in the past few years. I am one proud mama.

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

I have an 8 year old (will be 9 in June) daughter with Asperger's. She is in third grade. She is in a private school after much difficulty in public.

Third grade has had it's share of difficulties. My daughter does quite well academically, but struggles with social anxiety. She also does well at school (is shy and quiet) but comes home and is irritable with a short fuse. They started doing timed math tests (30 problems in 60 seconds) and this caused absolute havoc in our home. I couldn't figure out why she was melting down everyday and refusing to go to school in the mornings. It took a lot of sleuthing to figure it out. I explained to the math teacher the difficulty with timed tests (processing issues, anticipatory anxiety) but they insisted and told my dd "it's a tough world, get used to it now". We are suffering through it.

Unfortunately, even a private school can be closed minded and "one size fits all". That just seems to be the world we live in. I am very open with my dd, and we talk about strategies for her when things get rough. Unfortunately, there are things that simply cause blowback on the home front.

I guess I am thankful my dd holds it together at school. Sometimes it feels like things are my fault (that I am not doing enough such as homeschooling, etc), but when we have a breakthrough I know I am teaching her how to work through things and these will be life lessons.

We did find after much trial and error one med that has helped us. It is called Vistaril and it is an antihistamine. When she has a really bad meltdown I will give her one and it calms her down. This has been much needed as her meltdowns were becoming violent and I didn't want to go to a sedative and she had bad reactions to other meds. The vistaril doesn't change her personality or sedate her, it merely brings her out of the hysteria. I don't know why they don't offer these safer alternatives more often.

Anyway, welcome! Glad you brought this thread back to life!

What is it with Asperger's and timed math issues????? My DD is almost 7 and she is in the high math class. Whenever she has to do adding or subtracting that is timed she loses it! Then she thought every math sheet that came home had to be timed 1 minute. I talked to the teacher and she said it did NOT have to be timed. I told her how stressful it made things. For some reason math overall is a source of stress. If she has 20 problems to do and does 3 and on the 4th one she can't get it right away....she won't do anymore! And I won't even suggest she skip one and get back to it, she will lose it for sure!

Also, I hear you all about these kids keeping it together (mostly) at school and then melting down at home. That is the story of our lives here. It is nice not to feel so alone

 

[utterrandomness]

It must be something with how our brains are wired, because I found math in general and timed math in particular extremely stressful as well.

 

[bookwormde]

Some of our kids find math very easy and others find it more challenging. Virtually all find timing an overwhelming stressor, in math or elsewhere.

It takes a different and variable style to best teach our kids math, with a typical pattern of needing to be comfortable with the computational portion before applying it to real world situation problems.

The complexity of trying to learn the computational portion and the application and translation portion all at the same time are very often overwhelming. Put timekeeping on top of that and it is a recipe for failure.

Our kids also do a lot of math without consciously going through the linear steps, so "showing work" often is not practical or even possible.

On a different matter, a major tenant of the ESEA waivers that states are applying for is "no more one size fits all". We are following how that is going to be implemented.

Bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Hello everyone. I wanted to run something by all of you because I didn't want to post it in a separate thread:


We are going to WDW this June. We are down to one trip per year due to budget issues. This trip we are actually going with 3 girls in Grace's class and their 3 moms. These 3 girls are: 2 are her peer models at school. She gets along GREAT with both of them. They "take care" of her a lot and treat her respectfully, include her and consider her a friend. The third girl is also a girl dd gets along with GREAT. This girl takes dd by the hand and leads her around and she is the first girl my dd has actually let do this. Actually all three of these girls are somewhat "exceptions to the rules" when it comes to my dd. HOWEVER, they are all more socially mature than dd. They are not super precocious or anything but they are more "socially aware" than dd. None of these other girls have ever been to WDW.

The moms are all good friends of mine, know about Grace's diagnosis (obviously), and are very good with dd. (One of the moms is spectacularly GOOD with dd! ) Anyway...

We are all sharing a 4BR Villa. They are keeping it a secret from their dd's which is tricky because dd doesn't do so great with surprises so I will probably tell her before we leave but after school is out.

Here are my concerns:

#1 GAC only good for 6 people. Which is ok. We don't HAVE to use it. However, I don't want dd to have "issues" in the queues which embarass her (or really me-who am I kidding?). I thought about solely relying on FP, which we have done in the past but with the new no late return policy it will be tricky! (we are doing midday breaks for sure)

#2 We have always used a stroller as Grace's safe place. This will be her first trip without one. (actually we didn't have a stroller at DL in Dec but that didn't go so well). I am trying to figure out strategies for the queues. Do you guys have any ideas to occupy her so she doesn't get agitated by the people in the queue? I could get her a WDW rental stroller if we figure out it's a necessity I guess. I wonder if we could get the rest of our party to go into the SB queue and text me or call me when they are almost to the front and then dd and I could enter and join them using the GAC? I am not sure this would work???

I have just started getting somewhat worried about the logistics of all of this...

I thought I'd ask if anyone has any ideas here...

I know this is a big step for us...but last year we went with my brother, SIL, nephew and my mom and Grace did well, with only a few exceptions. However, we did have a GAC then.

Thanks!

 

[momimouse27]

Grace, that sounds tricky!

I would suggest to put together something that incorporates the use of fastpass(for the really long stuff) and distraction! I hate bringing the Nintendo DS for vacation because we want to spend time as a family and don't want him sticking his head in the games, but I keep it with me for really bad times. My son can throw a super mean tantrum at times and sometimes I'll do anything.

One idea, and I don't know if this will apply or if you have a smart phone, but this has worked for us. I have two Disney apps on my mobile, and when he gets bored in line sometimes we will look at the wait times or play trivia. The Disney trivia is nice because it involves all of us. Don't know if I helped at all, but I hope you figure it all out.

I want to chime in on the math. My son did not do well at the timed math either. He was taken out of "regular ed" for several reasons and one was he couldn't sustain attention without incident. I noticed anytime they did time math he had issues. We also had that same problem with my now college freshman daughter who is adhd and once we removed her from school-like magic she learned her basic math easily.

It's funny you all mention the bit about being manipulative. My son's teacher, when it was decided to remove him from transition to the asd class, that she hated to do it because she thought that we were giving him what he wanted-hinting that he had manipulated getting out of regular ed. Thing is, the reason he wanted out of reg ed is because he couldn't handle it. He was being expected to cope in a surrounding that he couldnt cope with. Too many stimuli, coping socially with things he just couldn't handle.

In a nutshell, why are they expecting my autistic/Aspergers son to act exactly like the other kids if we've been told he's not like the regular kids? I'm frustrated.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hey Grace,

I would get the GAC just to have it and then play it by ear with the stroller. You know every day is different. As for the lines, I think MommieMouse has some great ideas. If those don't always work could you ask one of the other moms and daughters to take your daughter and their daughter with them to get something. Arrange this ahead of time with the moms and have in mind places for them to go near whatever attraction you are at. "Okay "your DD" it looks like we have a few minutes before we'll be to the front of the line and since you've been here before why don't you go to the bathroom with us or show us the fountain or whatever while the rest of you wait in line."

Have a blast!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Thanks for the ideas! Boredom isn't really her issue...her issue is more the sensory issues...people touching her really sets her off. Also, lots of people talking around her can cause her to escalate. Perhaps we could put her in the middle of our group in the lines. And if she is occupied it bothers her less. She doesn't really do a ds but maybe I could find something she would like. I bought her a video camera for her birthday (a rugged waterproof one) and I'm hoping she will take an interest in making videos (she always wants to borrow my camera to film creatures outside ). Maybe I can find a book on hidden mickeys and they could all try to find them.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Thought I'd share...

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I just love the last paragraph! The only thing that bothers me about this article is his use of the term "mental disability" which is a pet peeve of mine along with the term "personality disorder".

 

[bookwormde]

Thanks,

The whole EF thing is finally starting to be better understood for our kids.

Now imagine if we coudl actually get the schools to teach in a way that enhanced our kids "style"

 

[C&G'sMama]

Thanks,

The whole EF thing is finally starting to be better understood for our kids.

Now imagine if we coudl actually get the schools to teach in a way that enhanced our kids "style"

Agreed. All kids, ASD or not, learn differently. I went to a tax seminar the other day. One of the presenters didn't have a handout or a power point. I might as well have left the room. I need visual clues to learn anything. But I'm an adult and won't get my card turned for leaving the room. My daughter is visual and tactile. She's not ASD but school wasn't working for her either. It's maddening.

 

[snow88]

Agreed. All kids, ASD or not, learn differently. I went to a tax seminar the other day. One of the presenters didn't have a handout or a power point. I might as well have left the room. I need visual clues to learn anything. But I'm an adult and won't get my card turned for leaving the room. My daughter is visual and tactile. She's not ASD but school wasn't working for her either. It's maddening.

Me too. I always need visual to understand. OOT: My son came over to the computer yesterday while I was reading and saw Tinkerbell and all the other figures jumping around on here and I had a lot of explaining to do. lol!

 

[sjkobriger]

Hello all! I am a first time Disboards poster. I came across this thread doing a google search and was overwhelmed at the activity at Disboards. What a resource!

Anywho, I'm a dad with a 8-year old son who was diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers specifically) when he was 4. We are lucky that we have a pretty strong school district and he's had excellent teachers. Most of the time he functions pretty well at school (occasional meltdowns of course) thanks to some great teachers and his fabulous mother, but non-routine things (like major vacations!) cause him to get off-balance if we don't plan carefully.

Once he overcomes his anxieties and questions, he usually has a fabulous time and talks about his adventures for a long time afterward, so this year we are going to push him a little and take him to WDW for 10 days. (May 26 to June 4).

We live in Arizona and have been to DL in California several times, but never to Florida. The first time at DL was a nightmare due to the line queues. He can deal with about 20 minutes max before he'll start with stemming activities, climbing on the railings, making loud noises or worse. Fortunately, a friend informed us of the GAC for children on the spectrum and it was a vacation saver on our second trip.

I've done plenty of searches for how the GAC works at WDW and have gotten some mixed answers, so I thought I'd ask my question directly to this expert audience so here goes.

At DL, the GAC we were issued was an alternate entrance stamped GAC. At DL, the GAC allowed my family of 4 (me, wife, son and his twin sister) to go to the FASTPASS line on those attractions that had FP without needing a FP return ticket. Does this work the same way at WDW?

This was huge help as we had tried FP when we didn't have a GAC, but the anxiety levels it created with our son were so high that it made things worse than not even going. He would be so concerned about the FP return time that he refused to go on other rides or leave the immediate area of the ride for fear of "losing his turn". With the GAC, we were just ushered right through to the FP return line and waited 5-15 minutes on average versus 30 mins to an hour on the 3 rides we used it on.

Thanks for your help in advance! This is a major trip (and expense) to travel that far and we are just trying to be fully prepared for what to expect to help with planning.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Welcome, sjkobriger!

Yes, it works exactly the same at WDW as DL.

Have a great trip!

 

[sjkobriger]

Thanks Grace, that's a relief.

Two follow-up questions:

1) At DL we obtained our GAC at Guest Relations inside DLP. We plan on visiting EPCOT on our first day. Will the GR desk there issue a GAC?

2) At DL, FastPass return lines averaged about 10 minutes (this was during a very busy Spring Break). Is that the case at WDW as well for the time frame we are going? (Beginning Sunday of Memorial Day weekend through the 1st week of June)

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Yes, Guest Relations at any park can handle issuing a GAC.

As far as FP wait times, unfortunately in WDW it can vary A LOT. Rides like Toy Story Mania, the FP queue merges with the stand by riders a good ways before the loading platform. So, you could potentially have a 20 minute wait. Fast loading rides such as Big Thunder will be almost a walk on using FP (which is why we LOVE BTMRR). Rides Like Soarin will also have a long FP wait-possibly up to 30 minutes.

From my experience (your mileage may vary):

Short FP Waits:
Buzz Lightyear
BTMRR
Dinosaur (don't recommend for sensory issues)
Space Mtn (seats are different than DL-he would have to sit alone)
Expedition Everest

Longer FP Waits:
Peter Pan
Splash
Test Track (closed for your trip)
Star Tours
Tower of Terror
Kali River Rapids

Longest FP Waits:
Jungle Cruise
Soarin
Safari
Toy Story Mania

 

[sjkobriger]

That's some excellent advice. Yes, I've heard Horror stories about DINOSAUR before and after our experience at Jurrasic Park: The Ride at Universal Hollywood, I highly doubt we'll be doing that one.

Fantastic Tips. It sounds like most of the time the 20 minute rule will work out and we can try to do the longer waits earlier in the AM or during parades and such.

Thanks so much.

 

[snow88]

I was wondering if anyone could tell me their experiences with Aquatica, Discovery Cove, and Sea World. My son really wants to see a dolphin but I was trying to decide where to take him. He's 5 years old and has Aspergers. He has sensory issues.

 

[bookwormde]

For seaworld if you sit up top the dolphin show should be fine. The feeding tank can be crowded at times so being selective is important. The best place is the dolphin nursury, the biologist there spent a lot of 1 on 1 time with my son "talking shop"

Do not miss the sea lion show it is a must. For most of our kids almost anything to do with amimals is worth trying, even if it is at a distance.

bookwormde