Behavior Challenge Thread

[DisDreaminMom]

Hey Tatalee, I LOVE your comeback. That's good!

I will tell you that there have been more than a few occasions where my kid was the best one in the group at WDW, so be prepared to be pleasantly surprised. Because while our kids might have their wheels spinning 1000xminute on a normal day, when they get to some place as visually and mentally stimulating as WDW, it sometimes has a calming effect. It's the "normal" kids that go totally wacko.

Living the game is definitely harder than playing the video, if you know what I mean.

In that same vein, I can't tell you how many moms of ASD or special needs kids I've met while standing inline at WDW or just hanging around. It's not like I go around with an ASD shirt, but when I try to explain my son, sometimes other moms will say, "Oh, you too?". and we share a smile and a quick laugh and the day is OK.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I will tell you that there have been more than a few occasions where my kid was the best one in the group at WDW, so be prepared to be pleasantly surprised. Because while our kids might have their wheels spinning 1000xminute on a normal day, when they get to some place as visually and mentally stimulating as WDW, it sometimes has a calming effect. It's the "normal" kids that go totally wacko.

QUOTE]

That's my dd for sure. Except for some rare instances she's so much better at WDW!

However, we did just go to DL and she had a meltdown on Nemo Subs. It's my fault for not knowing what the ride was about but everyone in there just wanted to get out when my dd had a panic attack! So it pays to do the research ahead of time!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Ok, guys prepare for a lengthy vent, because I'm out of sorts tonight.

Today's my birthday and I only mention that to put it in context of the kind of birthday I had. Today was the results session of the 3 month long neuro-psych eval on my dd6. I knew they were going to dx Asperger's, I was prepared for that. But I guess I had it in my head that she was only "slightly" AS (if there is such a thing). Today's feedback/result session knocked me over. Really. I don't know why, but seeing it all there in black and white (13 page synopsis plus a 6 page Assessment Data Summary) was just too much.

Seeing my dd compared statistically to NT kids her age, and then to AS kids her age was stunning. I really had no idea what her true issues really were until I saw this report. Some of it was really good-her Differential Abilities Scale results were mostly phenomenal-90th % plus with some lower results in Nonverbal Reasoning, Working Memory and Visual Memory. But get this-on one of the Diagnostic subtests-the spatial abilities-she scored 99.9% against NT kids her age. The rest was horrible-the Beery Visual Motor, the Executive Functioning but worst of all was the Emotional Functioning. Her adaptive behavior Global Adaptive Composite was in the <1% against NT kids her age. This was so devastating to me...

The neuro-psych told me that my dd is not, as I supposed, at the far end of the "autistic spectrum" according to these results. I think she was trying to get me to face it but the way she came right out and said it was very difficult for me to handle.

Then, tonight was "meet the teacher". I walked my dd the 2 blocks to the elementary school and found the classroom. Her teacher is an older gentleman with 20 years experience in teaching. They say he is "strict" and I was looking forward to my dd feeling safe in that classroom with the routine and structure. He met us and greeted my dd warmly, to which she refused to look at him or shake his hand. He then asked her several times for a high five or to look at his stuffed animal, all which made my dd more and more uncomfortable. Most people kind of "get it" to leave her alone and let her come to them but he was very engaging, which probably would've brought a NT shy kid out but just scared her. Then, get this, he started calling her by the wrong name. And I corrected him a few times but he kept calling her by the wrong name, which just confused her and scared her. So he gave me some paperwork to fill out and there were so many other parents around that I didn't have a chance to have a discreet conversation with him so wrote on the top of the paper he gave me: "XXXX has Asperger's Syndrome. She appears shy but is actually overloaded and anxious. If you give her time to acclimate she will engage you better." He looked at this note, smiled at me, and said "well, it's been nice meeting you. I'll see you on Monday".

Now, I realize teachers are overloaded at meet the teacher night. There were so many new faces and parents to deal with. But we left that room and my dd started ramping up. She started repeating and showing some serious anxiety. I took her to the library to meet the librarian and found a very nice woman who befriended my dd and told her she could come see her each morning. This helped a little but walking home my dd refused to walk, cried and started fixating on not wanting to go to school.

I told her she'll have a great time and it will be so much fun. But this first encounter was not a good indicator of what's to come. Maybe I'm over reacting to a minor incident and I need to stay positive so my dd will feel my vibes.

I'm taking the report to the Sp Ed Autism leader tomorrow and I'm going to sit down and tell her what must be done. The report luckily has IEP suggestions listed very precisely which I think will help tremendously.

Oh, and there was no ADD dx. Only AS and Developmental Coordination Disorder due to low tone, fine motor issues and what she called "severe sensory processing problems".

Really, I know it's good I had the thorough eval done and that early modifications will be used. Her math abilities are phenomenal and not everyone is a "people person". I just needed to vent here because I know you guys have been in my shoes to an extent and know what this feels like.

Thanks for letting me vent (yet again) here.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Thanks for letting me vent (yet again) here.

Always, that's why we are all here.

You are doing an awesome job!!!

 

[Piper]

Ok, guys prepare for a lengthy vent, because I'm out of sorts tonight.

Today's my birthday and I only mention that to put it in context of the kind of birthday I had. Today was the results session of the 3 month long neuro-psych eval on my dd6. I knew they were going to dx Asperger's, I was prepared for that. But I guess I had it in my head that she was only "slightly" AS (if there is such a thing). Today's feedback/result session knocked me over. Really. I don't know why, but seeing it all there in black and white (13 page synopsis plus a 6 page Assessment Data Summary) was just too much.

Seeing my dd compared statistically to NT kids her age, and then to AS kids her age was stunning. I really had no idea what her true issues really were until I saw this report. Some of it was really good-her Differential Abilities Scale results were mostly phenomenal-90th % plus with some lower results in Nonverbal Reasoning, Working Memory and Visual Memory. But get this-on one of the Diagnostic subtests-the spatial abilities-she scored 99.9% against NT kids her age. The rest was horrible-the Beery Visual Motor, the Executive Functioning but worst of all was the Emotional Functioning. Her adaptive behavior Global Adaptive Composite was in the <1% against NT kids her age. This was so devastating to me...

The neuro-psych told me that my dd is not, as I supposed, at the far end of the "autistic spectrum" according to these results. I think she was trying to get me to face it but the way she came right out and said it was very difficult for me to handle.

Then, tonight was "meet the teacher". I walked my dd the 2 blocks to the elementary school and found the classroom. Her teacher is an older gentleman with 20 years experience in teaching. They say he is "strict" and I was looking forward to my dd feeling safe in that classroom with the routine and structure. He met us and greeted my dd warmly, to which she refused to look at him or shake his hand. He then asked her several times for a high five or to look at his stuffed animal, all which made my dd more and more uncomfortable. Most people kind of "get it" to leave her alone and let her come to them but he was very engaging, which probably would've brought a NT shy kid out but just scared her. Then, get this, he started calling her by the wrong name. And I corrected him a few times but he kept calling her by the wrong name, which just confused her and scared her. So he gave me some paperwork to fill out and there were so many other parents around that I didn't have a chance to have a discreet conversation with him so wrote on the top of the paper he gave me: "XXXX has Asperger's Syndrome. She appears shy but is actually overloaded and anxious. If you give her time to acclimate she will engage you better." He looked at this note, smiled at me, and said "well, it's been nice meeting you. I'll see you on Monday".

Now, I realize teachers are overloaded at meet the teacher night. There were so many new faces and parents to deal with. But we left that room and my dd started ramping up. She started repeating and showing some serious anxiety. I took her to the library to meet the librarian and found a very nice woman who befriended my dd and told her she could come see her each morning. This helped a little but walking home my dd refused to walk, cried and started fixating on not wanting to go to school.

I told her she'll have a great time and it will be so much fun. But this first encounter was not a good indicator of what's to come. Maybe I'm over reacting to a minor incident and I need to stay positive so my dd will feel my vibes.

I'm taking the report to the Sp Ed Autism leader tomorrow and I'm going to sit down and tell her what must be done. The report luckily has IEP suggestions listed very precisely which I think will help tremendously.

Oh, and there was no ADD dx. Only AS and Developmental Coordination Disorder due to low tone, fine motor issues and what she called "severe sensory processing problems".

Really, I know it's good I had the thorough eval done and that early modifications will be used. Her math abilities are phenomenal and not everyone is a "people person". I just needed to vent here because I know you guys have been in my shoes to an extent and know what this feels like.

Thanks for letting me vent (yet again) here.

Unfortunately, meet the teacher night is not a time that teachers in my district are allowed to discuss children. It is forbidden for confidentiality.

If I were you, I would call the school this morning and ask to speak to her new teacher today. Then I would either give him as much info as you can over the phone and schedule a time to talk to him in person. A copy of the report you received yesterday would be very helpful (if I were her teacher) to help me structure some activities that she would enjoy and excell at to boost her confidence.

I would also make an appointment now to meet again at the end of the first week to discuss how things went and answer any questions you both have.

 

[bookwormde]

GraceLuvsWDW,

Happy birthday,

First a full evaluation is a lot to take in and learning about each area to be able to really understand where it leaves you and your daughter takes months (sometimes years).

Differential abilities are what our kids are all about.

Spatial abilities are all about our kids visual processing capabilities (not the visual memory section is all about linear processing so obviously it is not a good indicator).

As for the visual motor, with a good OT this to a great extend resolves itself to an extent that it is not a major impact (sorry but probably high acuity athlete in your future).

If your daughter had been above the 2-5% range in the adaptive composite it would be very unusual and most children who get a formal diagnosis at her age are less than 2% since this is what generates most of the characteristics needed for a diagnosis.

Clinically your daughter is not at the far end since the spectrum includes lots of people who are “self adapters” and would not even be close to getting a diagnosis. Where she is near the far end is in her intellect and non-linear capabilities, which are, were the greatest autism gifts are.

All this means is that you (and her) have lots of work ahead to allow her gain intellectually skills to allow her to be able to let these gifts flourish.

Oh by the way you will be much happier once you stop comparing her to NT kids, she is not one and never will be, but what she is wondrous and her potential is way beyond the average child.

A “strict” teacher is generally a recipe for disaster (structured and organized teachers can be helpful as long as they understand the need for a principles based approach to rules), so keep a tight leash on him. Question what his experience, training and qualifications are to meet your daughter needs.

Generally there will be a few staff members who your daughter will “sync” with (in my son’s case it was the vice principle) and they are a godsend.

Call and talk the ED and let her know of your experience with the teacher and your concerns and that if it is not a good match a new teacher will need to be selected before to much damage is done.

bookwormde

 

[BeckyScott]

I think any kind of standardized testing stinks. I mean, to begin with, there's the whole idea that there isn't a good test for autism spectrum. (I nominate bookwormde to create one, but since it was my idea I get part of the profit)

Bell curves stink.

Tests with really long names you don't understand stink.

Taking a score and then telling you your kid is "low average" or "clinically significant" is just hateful.

My oldest scored in the 9th percentile on his Visual-Motor Integration test. It took me hours on the computer to even figure out what that meant much less what to do about it, and heaven knows I'm more experienced with this stuff than the average Mom.

There. I'm done venting now.

 

[KirstenB]

Grace, Yesterday was our meet the teacher day at both kids' schools. We started at the middle school with our older dd. She's very social, and soon had a swarm of friends surrounding her. Even though Zoe was in her stroller, she got overwhelmed by the whole experience.

Then we went to her special ed preschool. She got really teary eyed and overwhelmed there too. She has a new teacher this year, and even seeing her friends from last year was hard on her. FWIW, in doing this for 2 years in a row, I'm convinced that meet the teacher day is one of the most stressful days of the entire year for our kids. It's chaotic, loud, and there are no structured activities. I hope once your dd settles into a routine, she'll start to really enjoy school.

I'd definitely follow up with your dd's teacher. Hopefully he was able to process what you wrote on the spot, and was just being very professional in the midst of all the chaos.

 

[bookwormde]

GraceLuvsWDW,

Another quick suggestion, order a few copies of Attwood’s book and give them to the educators most directly involved with your daughter, If they are interested enough to read it and understand it they are probably a “keeper” If not do not expect much from them (it is quickly obvious if they have actually read it).

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Unfortunately, meet the teacher night is not a time that teachers in my district are allowed to discuss children. It is forbidden for confidentiality.

If I were you, I would call the school this morning and ask to speak to her new teacher today. Then I would either give him as much info as you can over the phone and schedule a time to talk to him in person. A copy of the report you received yesterday would be very helpful (if I were her teacher) to help me structure some activities that she would enjoy and excell at to boost her confidence.

I would also make an appointment now to meet again at the end of the first week to discuss how things went and answer any questions you both have.

Piper, you are so right! Today I went first to the Sp Ed Dept, voiced my concerns and they sent me to the Guidance Counselor at the Elem School where my dd will attend. She talked with me for a while and then took me to my dd's teacher and we all had a very good, productive discussion about my dd's strengths and weaknesses. It made me feel SO much better! He did say that he doesn't really pay attention to "labels" (ie the Asperger's) but treats each child as an individual. He made me feel so at ease and confident that he is the RIGHT teacher and that I am just having normal motherly jitters over her first day at school. I really feel much better! Thanks for your advice!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

GraceLuvsWDW,

Happy birthday,

First a full evaluation is a lot to take in and learning about each area to be able to really understand where it leaves you and your daughter takes months (sometimes years).

Differential abilities are what our kids are all about.

Spatial abilities are all about our kids visual processing capabilities (not the visual memory section is all about linear processing so obviously it is not a good indicator).

As for the visual motor, with a good OT this to a great extend resolves itself to an extent that it is not a major impact (sorry but probably high acuity athlete in your future).

If your daughter had been above the 2-5% range in the adaptive composite it would be very unusual and most children who get a formal diagnosis at her age are less than 2% since this is what generates most of the characteristics needed for a diagnosis.

Clinically your daughter is not at the far end since the spectrum includes lots of people who are “self adapters” and would not even be close to getting a diagnosis. Where she is near the far end is in her intellect and non-linear capabilities, which are, were the greatest autism gifts are.

All this means is that you (and her) have lots of work ahead to allow her gain intellectually skills to allow her to be able to let these gifts flourish.

Oh by the way you will be much happier once you stop comparing her to NT kids, she is not one and never will be, but what she is wondrous and her potential is way beyond the average child.

A “strict” teacher is generally a recipe for disaster (structured and organized teachers can be helpful as long as they understand the need for a principles based approach to rules), so keep a tight leash on him. Question what his experience, training and qualifications are to meet your daughter needs.

Generally there will be a few staff members who your daughter will “sync” with (in my son’s case it was the vice principle) and they are a godsend.

Call and talk the ED and let her know of your experience with the teacher and your concerns and that if it is not a good match a new teacher will need to be selected before to much damage is done.

bookwormde

You are right and I feel so much better. I really need to stop comparing her but was forced to look at it because there it was in black and white in such explicit terms. I hate the percentages and bell curves too! My dd can't be summed up in a diagnosis or 20 page paper.

Now begins the concentration on her social skills, emotional regulation and work on these areas is of utmost importance to me. And along with all that I need to keep her brain stimulated, help her understand that she is different but not "broken", and help her develop her special skills.

Thanks. It's nice to know there are others who understand all this.

 

[Piper]

Piper, you are so right! Today I went first to the Sp Ed Dept, voiced my concerns and they sent me to the Guidance Counselor at the Elem School where my dd will attend. She talked with me for a while and then took me to my dd's teacher and we all had a very good, productive discussion about my dd's strengths and weaknesses. It made me feel SO much better! He did say that he doesn't really pay attention to "labels" (ie the Asperger's) but treats each child as an individual. He made me feel so at ease and confident that he is the RIGHT teacher and that I am just having normal motherly jitters over her first day at school. I really feel much better! Thanks for your advice!

I'm so glad you got to talk to the teacher one on one. Meet the teacher nights and parent information nights are so difficult. It is impossible to really concentrate on one parent when (in my case)39 other parents are asking for your attention. Plus, anything you say can be overheard (and misunderstood) and might cause future problems.

Your writing the note was the right thing to do. I thought that by him smiling and nodding that he was probably letting you know he understood. If you had not contacted him, he might have been in touch with you!

I would still give him Tony Attwood's book. It should help him understand your daughter a lot better. That would benefit them both!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Checking in on the crew. Looks like much progress has been made. Way to go, Grace! And Happy Birthday!

I ditto Becky's rant. Couldn't have said it better myself. I want to see what Bookwormde can cook up in the diagnostic test department. I volunteer to be your guinea pig for the Beta model test. No profit sharing here, just interested in furthering science.

Piper, I like having your input on this thread.

We went a whole week with no tickets (bad behavior) at school and an overall report of good behavior for DS. As a reward, I took him to the cemetery. It's what he wanted, so what am I supposed to do?

Also, went to see Bandslam and Ponyo. Bandsalm was a great movie to take the geeks in your family to see. Anyone who ever played music in high school has to see this movie. It had a fantastic message and was squeaky clean, except for the teen first kiss thing, which was done in a sweet and comical way. It was a great movie to take a pre-teen or teen to see if they are getting bullied. Message of the movie was, "If you miss out on life, then the bullies win". How great is that?

Take the little ones to see Ponyo. Animation was fantastic and story was very sweet. I think John Lasseter must have Aspergers. Whatever he touches always has Asperger undertones to me. It was total eye candy and my DS was glued to the screen. He followed the entire story and asked a ton of question about it on the way home. Plus, it showed Japan, and that's a bonus for him.

So that's all for now. Where is the rest of our gang? We need a roll call and an update. Saveaquarter and the rest, we need news!

 

[C&G'sMama]

As I sat down to write this DS comes over to me to open the bread. When I handed him the 2 slices. "It's too little". That's what I get for buying the "cheap" 100% wheat vs. the hearty wheat. What was I thinking

We are in the process of getting him placed in a social skills group. We got the recommendation from the developmental pediatrician to call the "clearing house". Called the clearing house, who then sent us a list of places to call. We've chosen the place we want to contact, once we've done that they'll (commericial interruption, there's PB chunks in the jelly, the horror, it's amazing any of us can finish a thought) where was I? The clearing house. So we need to call Strong (which oh by the way is where the clearing house is through) Once we call they'll call us back to set up a phone intake, then they'll figure out what he needs, set up a family appoitment, then figure out (yes, you have enough jelly) what group would be good for him and then once an appropriate group opens up we begin. I'm hoping we can get in him to something by the tim(the PB is liquidy, yes honey it's natural PB so it's the oil, it's better for us as it as no sugar or other fats added to it) he's in college. I'm grateful these services exist but why does everything take (crying, mama, "I can't get the PB out, it's too hard", go get me a big spoon and I'll get the PB out) so long. It's my impatience and we'll stick with it. But in the mean time I'm trying to schedule him for speech, swim lessons and foot ball, I'm only doing foot ball because it's flag football through the Y and it's only once a week. He really wants to do it. (The PB toast is almost done). If he gets into a group and it conflicts we'll have to drop something, which is oh so great for our kids. I was hoping we'd be able to get the group lined up 1st Oh well, it's just me ranting.

School starts for us September 9th. We got the letters from the teacher. We really like the teacher he got, but anticapate having problems getting him pushed up again. Yes, I know is writing isn't up to par but why can't he work on his writing doing work that is his level. Why does he have to add 1 + 1?. Let him work on his number formation adding, 1,296 and 3,412. Let him learn to write about what he's read from Magic Treehouse Diary of a Whimpy Kid vs. See Dick Run, Run Dick Run. So I anticipate that being this year's battle.


DS is going to Chess Camp next week, he needs the structure and DP and DD need the break. When friends spend a few days with us camping a few weeks ago, they said "man, he takes a lot of mental energy". We know.

So that's us in a nut shell right now.

He's eating his PB and I'm off to try to get the house together. We actually have a free weekend (kind of).

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Last night at work, (I'm a Disney Store CM) I met a lady who homeschooled because her 11 year old son was doing High School level level work and the school system would not accommodate him. She was going to WDW for two weeks.

This home school thing looks better and better. Can I have my local and federal tax dollars that go toward public education so I can afford to travel the world with DD and DS, because they are so over this whole school thing! Where is Auntie Mame when we need her ("Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death!")

And while I'm typing, I can hear both kids coughing and snerting. Seems like a summer full of healthy kids and no sickness is suddenly at an end with 10 full days of school under our belts. All the asthma meds in the world are not knocking this one out.

Like the PB &J story. I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt a little deja vu while reading that one.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Last night at work, (I'm a Disney Store CM) I met a lady who homeschooled because her 11 year old son was doing High School level level work and the school system would not accommodate him. She was going to WDW for two weeks.

This home school thing looks better and better. Can I have my local and federal tax dollars that go toward public education so I can afford to travel the world with DD and DS, because they are so over this whole school thing! Where is Auntie Mame when we need her ("Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death!")

And while I'm typing, I can hear both kids coughing and snerting. Seems like a summer full of healthy kids and no sickness is suddenly at an end with 10 full days of school under our belts. All the asthma meds in the world are not knocking this one out.

Like the PB &J story. I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt a little deja vu while reading that one.

DDM thank you. I know you guys understand. Wouldn't it be great if instead of our failing district (although we are "up" to a 42% graduation rate, so I don't know why I should complain) getting $14,000 per kid we could get the $14,000 per kid. Good Lord. Just Imagine what we could each do with that much money for education!!!

 

[saveaquarter]

Did someone call me?

Things have been a bit rough around here. J spent quite a bit of time in the hospital recently, and we've had to switch to an allergen free diet that he's absolutely hating. Really, all we've done is moved to gluten free pasta and working on more balanced eating (fruits and veggies on a regular basis- something I need to do as well), and everything else is the same. He's still struggling tooth and nail over it. There's a lot of changes going on in his life and he's raging against the world.

I know many of you have been through the changes a life altering diagnosis means for a person, either personally or wih someone very close to you. Do any of you have any advice for us on how to cope with this? It's foreign territory for me, and I want to be sure he's okay. I feel useless when it comes down to the things he's struggling with, the diet being one of them.

Other than that, though, and my lack of sleep, things are going well. The twins are very healthy (thank goodness) and starting to sleep for longer stretches now. Their feeding schedule has synced up more or less now, and that makes things far easier.

Grace, J has aspergers, as you might remember. If you ever want any advice or guidance as far as what helped him when he was younger, feel free to PM me. He has a memory like an elephant, and even though he didn't have a diagnosis then, his mother made sure that things were done to help him along both socially and academically. He'd love to help out any way he can

 

[C&G'sMama]

Did someone call me?

Things have been a bit rough around here. J spent quite a bit of time in the hospital recently, and we've had to switch to an allergen free diet that he's absolutely hating. Really, all we've done is moved to gluten free pasta and working on more balanced eating (fruits and veggies on a regular basis- something I need to do as well), and everything else is the same. He's still struggling tooth and nail over it. There's a lot of changes going on in his life and he's raging against the world.

I know many of you have been through the changes a life altering diagnosis means for a person, either personally or wih someone very close to you. Do any of you have any advice for us on how to cope with this? It's foreign territory for me, and I want to be sure he's okay. I feel useless when it comes down to the things he's struggling with, the diet being one of them.

Other than that, though, and my lack of sleep, things are going well. The twins are very healthy (thank goodness) and starting to sleep for longer stretches now. Their feeding schedule has synced up more or less now, and that makes things far easier.

Grace, J has aspergers, as you might remember. If you ever want any advice or guidance as far as what helped him when he was younger, feel free to PM me. He has a memory like an elephant, and even though he didn't have a diagnosis then, his mother made sure that things were done to help him along both socially and academically. He'd love to help out any way he can

Saveaquarter.

Thank you so much for checking in. Adjusting to a baby much less 2 is huge anyway. Add to that worrying about DH and his issues, you've got a lot on your plate. It sounds like you are doing an awesome job. And I'm sure it's hard to watch J go through this. I don't have any advice, but I do send warm wishes and hugs. Sometimes life just throws things at you. All you can do is what you think is best at the time.

-A

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I just want to echo what C&G'sMama said. Saveaquarter, to be going through all that you are and then offer advice to me is just beyond giving! I really appreciate it. I don't know what advice to give on the life changing diagnosis, I'm kinda going through the same here.

And I know we are all going through "stuff" right now with the start of school, etc. My dd has been literally! climbing the walls, rolling around, unable to sit still or make any eye contact at all. I guess it is the psychological stress of the impending "First day of school". Although she's not verbalizing about it so I'm really just guessing.

It is very frustrating to me, as I have verbalized here, that my dd lacks the ability to express to me how she feels. I know she has feelings-I've seen her well up, but instead of knowing she's touched she remarks "that makes my eyes drip". I guess once I tackle some of these Basket #1 (safety, non negotiable behavior) issues I'll try to incorporate some exercises geared towards recognizing emotional states. I feel I could be helpful to her if I just knew WHAT the issue really was.

Anyway, tomorrow's the BIG day for us! I am really hoping all goes well! I have great confidence in this teacher after speaking with him on Friday!

DisDreaminMom, hope your kids are feeling better!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Hey Saveaquarter,
Nice to hear from you! Glad babies are well. Sounds like you've got your hands full. As for diet thing, I've started watching this show on BBC America called "You Are What You Eat". It's addicting. It takes people with unhealthy eating habits (mostly overweight folks) and they have a holistic nutritionist make meal changes for them and show them WHY the food they have been eating is terrible for them. It was the best thing for me to get my brain wrapped around how much I was failing myself and my kids with our poor diet choices. We are not exactly junk food junkies, but we were not anywhere near where we could/should be in having a healthy diet. It's easy to read about why you should change, but seeing how it affects you is a huge motivator for me.

Good news is that because my son LOVES soup, I've begun making these crazy soups that have tons of veggies in them. If I chop the veggies up into a tiny dice, he never notices. I did one soup with tomatoes, squash (green and yellow), onions, kidney beans, potatoes, spinach and parsley and it was a huge hit. My son has eaten soup for at least one meal for the last three weeks. Potato soup is another super easy one to make, and it's very filling. We've also rediscovered rice.

I've virtually eliminated bread from the house, but some chips are OK. We're all eating more fruit and whole grains (but no wheat!). I go to the store more often and have been in the kitchen more BUT I've lost 10 pounds and I feel much better. Kids are slowly losing the spare tires. I'm trying to eliminate milk from the fridge, but working on that more slowly. I've been making fresh squeezed juices and serving water and ignoring the protests, though it's gotten much better lately.

I had a dinner party Friday and we had a cookout. I had hot dogs, and nothing but veggies (corn, grilled squash, green beans, tomatoes, and guacamole). The kids were fighting over the green beans. Someone brought cupcakes and my kids ate some of theirs (I didn't want it to make it into a power struggle) and my DS ate some of his and then asked me to make him a fruit smoothie. He never even asked for the rest of the cup cake, even though I put it on the kitchen counter for him. I threw it away this AM.

Yeah, change is hard on people who really like routine, but it just takes a few days in a row of a new habit to create a routine. I would say my husband is the whiniest one in the bunch. But even he feels better, so he's stopped complaining as much, too.

I kept kids home from school today because they were coughing so much. School secretary said tons of kids were home with chest funk. No fever still, but now I've got it. It's just a burning throat feeling. Not sore, just scratchy and chest congestion. We had a more serious version of this last Spring.

Grace, have you tried using those emotion therapy "faces" to help your DD tell you how she feels? They used drawings of faces with expressions on them for my son when he was in Pre-K. He could use them to say, "I feel this way" and he'd show me Scared. It's worth a shot, anyway.