Behavior Challenge Thread

[DisDreaminMom]

Earstou, that's a beautiful story and I'm so happy that your child had a positive experience. That kind of thing can change a person's life, but he had to be the one to get the guts up to do it!!! Maybe that's your home church now...Yay for the both of you!

Grace, this is so great. Fingers triple crossed. It's snowing like the dickens here and we have to drive out to the farm today and work. Ugggg....On the positive side, we're getting a new tractor today and the kids like the freedom of hanging out at the farm and dancing in the empty house. Now I have to clean, paint, and slog around in the frozen-ness. Blah...

 

[C&G'sMama]

Earstou - That's awesome. I teared up. Thank you so much for sharing.

Bookwormde. I love about the questions your son was asking. When DS went to the planetarium with his class, he apparently was asking about why the planets were named for Roman Gods and the Greek equivalents.

DDM - you sound very excited and passionate about your new venture. Here's rooting for you. Also liked that DD's teacher obviously got a wake up call. So sad that it had to happen to begin with. You're not over reacting.

Grace - keep us posted. Glad that someone talked some sense into somebody

Save-A-Quarter - you sound like a pretty cool woman.

As for us. DS was supposed to have his 10th of 12 group sessions tonight but he's the only that showed up. When they told us the time and day of the group originally we mentioned it was the one day that wouldn't work for us. But were told it worked best for everyone else. So we took DS out of Chess, I arranged my work schedule so I could pick up DD after school and take her to piano while DS went to group with DP. Now we're parents we do these things. But, he's the only one that has showed up consistently and when the others do show up it's anywhere from 15mins to 30 mins late. Just avent.

We had a meeting with the 2 counselors tonight and they say he's doing well in group. The developmental pediatrician told us to go ahead and get him in to invidual therapy. So we talked to the group leaders about that. "He's a great role model, a joy to have in group, a good influence on the other participants". But at home we're still getting tantrums and defiance. We're hoping the therapy will help. We need to learn skills too, we just don't know what they are.

The kids are on winter break this week. I took the day off with the flu. Hopefully I'll make into work tomorrow.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Anyone else's kids totally obsessed with the Olympics?? DD is massively obsessing over them! She's also "into" American Idol. All this TV obsession is a new thing here. Not six months ago she didn't have the patience nor attention span to sit and watch, now I've seen the Am Idol shows a bazillion times. She keeps talking about the contestants by their names which leaves me totally confused. Same with the Olympians. I'm amazed at how quickly she learns them all by name. Her riding instructor asked me who Masaharu Morimoto was. I had to explain he was an Iron Chef. These are the fictional "worlds" we're into now, too bad I can't maneuver that into something educational like all of your kiddos.

 

[saveaquarter]

Save a quarter, very cool about you guys rescuing the beagle. I hope your dh is feeling better and his pancreas has calmed down.

Thank you! We have a ways to go there, but we'll make that progress.

Hey guys, guess what? I had a meeting at the school today with the principal, the counselor, and the 504 coordinator. COMPLETE 180 degree turnaround!!! They're immediately implementing everything I requested, holding a staff meeting on Tuesday that every teacher and administrator dd comes in contact with will be at, putting the "pony passes" in every place she frequents (they laminated 24 of them), approved her exemption from assembly, implemented an as needed exemption from gym including use of earplugs, etc.

Wow! I don't know what did this, perhaps my call to TEA (I told them I consulted with an attorney but did not tell the school or district-wonder if TEA called the district? ), perhaps my conversation with the Director of Sp Ed, ???? I don't know what did it nor do I care I am just very happy things are turning around! We have a set meeting every month with the team to go over progress and they are already talking about potential teachers for next year and potential issues to be dealt with in second grade.

HOOORRRRAYYY!!!!

Don't want to get too excited but this sounds like a HOME RUN to me!

That is WONDERFUL news! I'm so happy for you and your daughter, this really is what you both deserve, and I'm glad you finally have it.

Save-A-Quarter - you sound like a pretty cool woman.

Why thank you, so do you! And I hope you feel better soon.

Anyone else's kids totally obsessed with the Olympics??

Kids? No, try me and DH! We watch every Olympics obsessively!

 

[bookwormde]

C&G'sMama,
If I could suggest that Finding a good councilor (ours uses the play based model) might help a lot with the issues at home. It is likely that something is "bothering him" and a good councilor can figure out what it is and help him work through it. Also, he is at the age where significant additional self awareness can be very helpful (and I am talking about really understanding the genetics and his "place" in the world).
GraceLuvsWDW,
I was a Olympics fanatic as a kid, I think it was the combination of the statistics, the cultural variety and the visual nature of the games. These things are all "educational", as you see "niches" that she likes just find shows (and movies) that have the best social modeling within her areas of interest. For some reason females seem to be much less "name blind" than males and often have amazing long term abilities in this area. As she is able to relax and feel safe at school, her abilities will grow exponentially.

We are finally going back to school today (10 days off including weekends)
bookwormde

 

[C&G'sMama]

Thanks Bookwormde. We're going to start at the "Behaviorial Health Center at Strong" which is where he goes to group right now. What do you mean by play based? I know they have toys in the rooms and stuff but is it deeper than that? I want to know what questions to ask. Thanks

As for the Olympics. DS isn't obsessed but has wanted to watch them some. We did all watch the opening ceremonies on Friday night. He proclaimed after that he wants me to sign him up for hockey so he can be in the Olympics some day. I'm thinking Curling?

I'm much better today and am going to head off to work soon. Everyone have a great day.

-A

 

[dogodisney]

Anyone else's kids totally obsessed with the Olympics?? DD is massively obsessing over them! She's also "into" American Idol. All this TV obsession is a new thing here. Not six months ago she didn't have the patience nor attention span to sit and watch, now I've seen the Am Idol shows a bazillion times. She keeps talking about the contestants by their names which leaves me totally confused. Same with the Olympians. I'm amazed at how quickly she learns them all by name. Her riding instructor asked me who Masaharu Morimoto was. I had to explain he was an Iron Chef. These are the fictional "worlds" we're into now, too bad I can't maneuver that into something educational like all of your kiddos.

My DGD(6) lives in a "fictional world". Actually I always say she lives in a fantasy. She is obsessed with Joe Jonas. She talks like they have a real relationship. She says he loves her, and he kisses her, and he calls her and they are going out on a date. It's actually kind of creepy to hear 6 yo talk like that. Last week we took her to get a haircut. When we got home my DH told me that she went to the poster of the Jonas' in her room and showed her hair to Joe. DH asked her what he said and she did tell him that he couldn't say anything cuz it wasn't real. Phew, that was a relief.

She also likes AI, She is always saying that she is going to go on the show. I've tried to explain to her that she wasn't old enough and by the time she will be, the show probably won't be on anymore. She doesn't get it.

I've had to limit her watching Hannah Montana and all those other "teeny bopper" type shows because she picks up too much of the attitude and smart comments from them that they make. I've also had to ban her from watching Spongebob.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

What's the deal with Spongebob? My son watches it and he doesn't say anything strange or cheeky. I think he says the curse word, "Fishpaste" or something like that. I think it's a funny show. Maybe the bad stuff is from Squidward or something.

I hate Hanna Montana and I think the show is a terrible influence on kids. Just the rude "comic rejoinders" she spouts at everyone are grounds for severe punishment around our house. Maybe it's cute in trailer trash land, but not around here.

It's the second day of record snow here. Was at the farm for 6 hours yesterday. It took me 3 hours to drive 65 miles. I took DS to a playdate at my sister's house. Why do I forget how badly those things turn out???? Ugggg. Anyway, back to the farm for us today, slogging through the snow again and freezing. I miss Florida.

 

[Earstou]

GraceLoveswdw, that is great news about school. I've found that the 'lawyer' word sometimes really gets things moving! Our school situtation has always been a roller coaster ride, It has it's ups and downs, sometimes thrilling, sometimes scary. Right now ds is doing great.
Also, your dd's interests are with popular things, so that might help her in the future. People always will talk about the Olympics, I hear lots of people talk about AI (don't watch, so I can't join in!) and lots of people like cooking! My ds loved vehicles, but not many 6 yr olds can talk about road construction vehicles in depth, so that wasn't helpful to him then. But now, that obsession has turned to cars, and many teens LOVE to talk about cars, so he is doing good in that area now! We knew someone who was obsessed with ceiling fans, how many people want to talk about fans?!

Thanks to everyone for the kind words about my ds and his public speaking!!!!
He is involved in the youth group at our church, and has taken a leadership role there, so no changing churches! This has been an amazing year for him. I think back to when he was 5, and how I wondered if this child could ever attend full day school (we had half day kindergarten back then). Things have certainly changed!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

For some reason females seem to be much less "name blind" than males and often have amazing long term abilities in this area.

What's weird is she already has the Olympians names down but can't name more than 2 kids in her class that she's been in for six months. It's very strange how their brains work. They tested her memory functioning and Delayed Memory is an area of weakness for her she tested at 6%. It is my belief that if the data comes in through her hearing (the IQ memory test was remembering a string of words) it is difficult. However, she did much better on the test where it was something she could touch-like body parts. As they said them she would touch that part of her body and then she had the memory recall much better. But somehow she is really connecting the name to the skiier, skater, etc (and obviouslky she can't touch them). And let's face it, Olympian names are not easy to pronounce. She is a pattern thinker so the statistical element is a reinforcer whereas the kids in the class-I can't figure out why those names aren't being retained, perhaps the anxiety is interfering.

BTW, Nothing was implemented in school yesterday. Everything promised in the meeting didn't happen like they said-no pony pass, staff meeting. I'm going to give them a few more days because perhaps something delayed the implementation. And then, well, and then I'm just going to freak out if this is all more of the same bs!

 

[Kat77]

There is a lot more detail to this story but I do not want to write a novel...

DS9 is back in his cycle of shutdown to meltdown at school. The school went against medical advice yesterday and tried to tag team harrass the kid (ALL DAY!) into doing a writing benchmark (b/c heaven forbid he do this on TAKS day!). When they did not succeed they actually tried to punish him by not letting him attend the class v-day party.

Sooo...I got a call to come pick DS up from school abt. 130PM. I knew DH had discussed with his teacher earlier that morning that punishing DS was not acceptable - we are currently working out medical issues and tweaking meds and the shutting down is beyond his control.... I was livid. (I still am!) Told the VP I wanted a written displinary report made if I was taking DS home before the party because I wanted it documented. Everyone at the school is fully aware of this kids med issues, his triggers, and what's been advised when dealing with him... (back the hell off him! Harrassing and punishing him gets us nowhere but to meltdowns and psychosis). DS suddenly/magically got to attend that party (For the record I really like the VP, I think he has good intentions when dealing w/ DS. He was trying to back up the teachers and I suspect he wasn't aware of the AM conversation with my DH)

I always go to class parties so I went to THE party. I even got there early to help set up since I was already in the building. It was obvious the teacher was uncomfortable that I was there (like she would never have to face me again? LOL!). At one point she said to me "I'm so sorry. You must be really mad at me." I told her "I am not mad at you. I am extremely upset about todays situation though." My mama bear vibe must have been transmitting all across Texas.... did you guys in Austin feel it?

So today DS is home with me. I am waiting for Dr's to call. He will not be returning to school until we have meds working and he is stable. I do not trust the teachers. DS will become psychotic again with the approach they tried yesterday and I'll be damned if I will allow that to happen. Does anyone know if I can file some sort of FMLA for a school child? Or should I just unenroll him and homeschool for now? I hate to redo his ARDs but if that is the only option.... I guess that is what will happen.

 

[bookwormde]

I know you get tired of hearing this from me but call an IEP meeitng each and every time there is a falure on the schools part of this seriousness. It every quickly becomes easier for the school to do the right thing than to have repeated IEP meetings.

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Grace, the sound you hear is me gritting my teeth after reading your post.

Kat, I am now banging my head on the wall after reading yours.

Ugggg. We've got school tomorrow after being out all week because of snow. This farm work is kicking my butt. Kids are having a great time out there, though.

DS found DD's old tap shoes. We all have a migraine from him tapping through the house all afternoon and up until bed. They're a little too small for his feet, but he doesn't care. Big, corn fed, red-headed boy in sweatpants and girls tap shoes with a giant grin on his face, shuffle stepping throughout the house. Yeah, take a minute and digest that one....

 

[Kat77]

I know you get tired of hearing this from me but call an IEP meeitng each and every time there is a failure on the schools part of this seriousness. It every quickly becomes easier for the school to do the right thing than to have repeated IEP meetings.
bookwormde

LOL! Around here you can never say that too much. You just inspired me to start a new thread... so much fun!

Oh, there is going to be one fantastic meeting when we are ready. I am so freaking angry that I can't touch this right now. The words I have running through my head are NOT productive

 

[Kat77]

I have a migraine that won't go away! Probably because I've been clentching my jaws shut for two days straight and too po'd to really sleep. Any advice? Pain killers are not helping.

Just loving the pass the buck & blame game I got from CM/resource teacher today on the phone. She really should not have called me, the gen.ed teacher seems to know better ......

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I'm right there with ya on the teeth clenching!

I went into the school today and met with the counselor. I tried to oh so nicely say they weren't implementing what they promised. She had a blank look on her face. HELLO?!?!?! Can anyone hear me? Sometimes I feel invisible and on mute!

One good thing is I received a letter in the mail from the Dir of Sp Ed detailing our conversation and outlining what she has assured me would be done. In writing. Check! Now I have documentation of what they promised.

The other parents in social skills class (at least the ones that aren't homeschooling) stated their kids are all in ESY (extended school year). I am going to inquire about whether dd is eligible. They stated the only requirement is to show problems coming back to school after breaks. Kat77, sounds like your DS qualifies too! If the ESY is just more of the same passing the buck it wouldn't be good but if they could actually work on issues it sounds great.

Seems like we could all make a fortune if we quit our jobs and became advocates. There is such a demand it's just insane.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

DD has turned our white board in the den into a "score board". The final 24 on American Idol are color coded by gender and talent and her "picks" are rated in numerical order. She has memorized all their names and states they hail from.

The other side of the board is tracking medal counts of Olympians/Countries. She could give the announcers a run for their money in the statistical analysis of the winter games.

Yes, that's right, she's 6 years old. Sometimes I think this is not ASD, it must be OCD, but I realize it's all "relative".

I'll have to take a picture so you can all witness the beauty of it!

Hope all is well.

 

[dogodisney]

DD has turned our white board in the den into a "score board". The final 24 on American Idol are color coded by gender and talent and her "picks" are rated in numerical order. She has memorized all their names and states they hail from.

The other side of the board is tracking medal counts of Olympians/Countries. She could give the announcers a run for their money in the statistical analysis of the winter games.

Yes, that's right, she's 6 years old. Sometimes I think this is not ASD, it must be OCD, but I realize it's all "relative".

I'll have to take a picture so you can all witness the beauty of it!

Hope all is well.

WOW! I'm impressed.

 

[bookwormde]

It is often "missed" that this type of "analysis" is very enjoyable and fullfilling to individuals who have autism genetics and is on of the greatest gifts. NTs can not "understand" this so it is viewed as "abnormal" when it is the same "drive" that coused NTs to need to socailize. If you viewed the amount of effort planning and repetive behaviors that go into social events, from an "outside" view they would be OCD and repetitive.

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Yes, I understand what you are saying Bookwormde. I wondered if it was comforting to her because she often acts "controlling" or else she is uncomfortable. I was wondering if the statistical stuff made her feel "in control"? However, now that you mention it, she DOES enjoy it. It doesn't appear to be an undesirable compulsion.

Kinda like my Disney planning...