Begging and bullying from servers in the MDRs for excellent ratings on the end of cruise survey/comment card

I don't recall ever being bullied for an excellent rating. We have been on 15+ DCL cruises. We have sailed the Magic multiple times & usually request the same server. Maybe DCL needs to add the cast compliment to the app just like the parks did on the My Disney Experience. Then you can individually recognize an excellent Cruise Cast Member.
 
I've never felt "bullied" or that they were begging, but some servers have been, shall we say, more deft with the issue. But even those who belabored the point, I don't want them to get dinged for working under a crappy setup like that. I hate the game, not the player.

One thing I do is when I get the first spiel, I tell them, "We know how you guys get evaluated, and I promise you that by default, we plan on giving you 'Excellents' across the board. If something happens whereby I might not want to give an 'Excellent,' I promise I will give you a chance to address it."

Ever since I started doing that, I don't think I've ever had a server repeat the speech.
 
Begging and bullying? Not our experience. Asking to avoid any surprises at the end? Sure. I would simply let the server know that I have no desire to be reminded of the ratings - and that should be it.

A vast majority of the Disney cruisers love the MDR experience. The MDR food can be all over the map, but I don't know how the food on the top deck can ever replace it.
Yeah if the “bullying” was really as dramatic as the OP is saying, it’s definitely not a common thing. Explaining that the comment cards are very important to them, and ask for the opportunity to take care of any issues that would affect the rating? Sure. But I’ve been on 7 DCL cruises and never felt they were pushy about it, and certainly not bullies lol.

I do agree some servers can try a bit too hard to be super attentive during service, but to be fair some people want it that way. They feel pampered when the server is constantly checking on them. Personally I’m in the “less is more” camp, and politely letting them know a little less checking is preferred solves that.
 
I want to vent for a minute about the begging and bullying from servers in the MDRs for excellent ratings on the end of cruise survey/comment card.
Our solution (and it's worked since we started doing it) is to let them do the "excellent speech" the first night. Then we tell them, "OK, you've told us. Now, we don't want to hear it again." I also mention that subsequent mentions will affect that "excellent" rating. Only once did a server continue to hit us up the next night. I, again, mentioned that if I heard that speech again, it WOULD affect the actual rating. He stopped after that night.

Hard-handed? Yes, maybe so, but I get to enjoy my meal in peace that way.

I agree that whatever ratings you give the meals onboard shouldn't reflect on the servers, if it's actually the preparation of the foods that's subpar, but it is what it is. If I have to mention badly prepared foods, I do it in the comments section saying that I realize the cooks are to be blamed for this, NOT THE SERVER.
 
This is a HUGE problem starting in schools where we use a grading system that says C is average but expect our children to get all As. It irritates me more when people review books. Look on Amazon. How much literature is truly 5 stars? How often do you come across an equivalent to To Kill a Mockingbird? We have lost our ability to appreciate a nice, perfectly acceptable performance. We are using a nuanced rating system but turning it into a GO/NO GO test. You are perfect or a failure.

I agree talk to your service team the first night. But I would state clearly, the only way I will find the service Excellent is if I never hear about the survey or how Excellent the service is.
I love the book analogy. I read alot and keep track of my books on Goodreads. In this calendar year I have read several mediocre novels (3s), a whole bunch of good novels (4s) and less ten phenomenal novels (5s). I was reading an author’s post on book reviews on instagram and she was like - I always give 5s because I know how hard it is to write them. Ummm no?

I feel like 5s on surveys are for truly outstanding service and I’m sorry to hear that they are penalized for less than that. I can only recall one serving team on DCL for our 9 previous cruises that we truly didn’t care for. Nearly all have been truly excellent.
 
Huh! I never realized that is what the servers were doing. I did wonder on the last cruise why the 'drinks' guy insisted on showing us a magic trick. LOL

My worst experience with a service was our first cruise when the head server insisted on giving me the main entrée he wanted me to have as well as the one I selected. Then he made a point of announcing the the room at large that I refused the dessert. I thought that was odd and we never went back to the MDR because of it. If he was trying for a bigger tip then he failed large.

Question: if you do not use the MDR then how to you handle the tipping?
 
I love the book analogy. I read alot and keep track of my books on Goodreads. In this calendar year I have read several mediocre novels (3s), a whole bunch of good novels (4s) and less ten phenomenal novels (5s). I was reading an author’s post on book reviews on instagram and she was like - I always give 5s because I know how hard it is to write them. Ummm no?

I feel like 5s on surveys are for truly outstanding service and I’m sorry to hear that they are penalized for less than that. I can only recall one serving team on DCL for our 9 previous cruises that we truly didn’t care for. Nearly all have been truly excellent.
Reminds me of the habit in the Netherlands to always give a standing ovation. I got in so many arguments with other theater lovers over the years because 'they worked so hard'. Yes, you can work hard and sing off key at the same time. I once got in a discussion with an actor after a show why I didn't stand up at the end. I sat in the front row. I had to tell him I wasn't impressed by his performance. He was shocked.

I hate it in those online surveys where you have to rate something, and when it's anything below a 9 or 10 out of 10, the follow up question is: What could we improve?
Once it was about something silly, like a package delivery. The package was delivered on time and as promised. That's not excellent, that's how it should be. I do not know what you can do to exceed my expectations with a package delivery, but an 8 out of 10 is still a good score in my books.
 
It's very apparent that everyone here has different opinions on the food and service. . I see them as humans and prefer to treat them as such. Maybe that is why we have always had stellar service. We carry on a conversation with them. Ask about their day. Get to know them. I don't feel that they deserve such harsh treatments because of DCL policy or you don't want any interaction. You know going in that a survey will be mentioned. Why let it ruin your vacation? Why penalize the server? It's a 30 sec spiel usually on the last night. To those that don't want any interaction with them at a meal, politely tell them. Why dock them on the survey because you didn't speak up? They aren't mind readers and automatically know that you want nothing to do with them during the meal. As far as the food goes, they are cooking for the masses. It will never be perfect for everyone. Food is subjective and I realize that going in. I feel they do a great job with the number of people they feed at the exact same time. I think personal expectations can be set too high for some.
 
Question: if you do not use the MDR then how to you handle the tipping?
I would still keep at least the default tips. The servers at the main restaurants also work at Cabanas, at the main restaurants for breakfast and lunch, at Castaway Cay, and elsewhere on the ship. Most of their income comes from tips and they really don't have a way to make up that money otherwise.
 
For the past couple of cruises, we have told our servers at our first meal that we would give excellent rating and didn’t want them to mention it again. We were diplomatic and the servers never mentioned it. The meals were so much more enjoyable.
 
I wish the entire industry would change to be non-tipping. Pay your servers what they deserve or charge a flat service fee. Why should my tip go up because I order a porterhouse and an expensive wine rather than a burger and soda? Both take exactly the same effort to take the order, deliver the food and clear the table.

I also don't like the constant requests for grading service. I get it from my health care providers, Amazon and many others. It's annoying.
 
It's very apparent that everyone here has different opinions on the food and service. . I see them as humans and prefer to treat them as such.
This raises the question: How do servers see guests? Do servers see guests as people or do they see them as opponents who need to be persuaded to do as they / the company wish?
Does a server who doesn't listen to your wishes treat you as a human?

By the stories posted here, some servers do see their guests as people, others don't.

Why dock them on the survey because you didn't speak up? They aren't mind readers and automatically know that you want nothing to do with them during the meal.
Exactly, because they aren't mind readers they should ask what the guest wants. Any customer service provider who assumes to know what the guest wants without checking is already behind. If you want to provide good service you have to ask.

I once read that one of the oldest jokes in the world they found in ancient texts, that still works is:
A man goes to the barber, sits down in the chair..
The barber asks: How do you want your hair done?
The man answers: In silence.
 
I emailed DCL after our cruise once. I’ve been on a few and the cruise was the second for the family member I was with. The servers just started up with the excellent speeches and questions right at the beginning. We were on a table with experienced cruisers who ate and ran, sometimes skipping dessert. That left dessert loving me and my slower eating family member with way too much one to one time with the servers. After a couple of nights we tried to explain to them that everything was fine and if there was any problems we would speak up and say something. Eventually they sort of gave up but at that point they also gave up on the basic level of service. We got so much pressure so I emailed DCL after explaining that they have a big problem with how their incentives for service work and that’s it’s obvious that the staff are under way too much pressure to get good ratings. Hopefully if enough people say something they’ll reconsider how they work.

I also find the scrutiny of how much I eat to be off putting. My meal size varies a lot from one day to the next based on how much else I’ve eaten, how active I was, etc. It’s really hard having people comment on what you eat all the time and insist on finding other options if you order very little one night but eat all three courses another night. I have some complicated food intolerances too which can make it exhausting explaining my choices from one day to the next. I know they want to be helpful but I wish they’d just trust us if we say that the food is fine, no I don’t need anything else, etc.
 
Yea I don’t like the high pressure tactics. We did a NCL cruise last month, and not one person mentioned ratings or the survey. It was so nice! We were emailed a survey a few days in return.
I've done three NCL cruises and the excellent rating pitch was part of all three cruises. The first night we just make it clear to our servers that anything is less than excellent we will tall them immediately. That usually ends the pitch.
 
I've done three NCL cruises and the excellent rating pitch was part of all three cruises. The first night we just make it clear to our servers that anything is less than excellent we will tall them immediately. That usually ends the pitch.
Really? We were in the Haven and never heard it once there. We never ate in the main dining area but did do the speciality restaurants. Of course, since there is no set time or table to eat you have different servers all the time so that probably takes some of the high pressure off.
 
Really? We were in the Haven and never heard it once there. We never ate in the main dining area but did do the speciality restaurants. Of course, since there is no set time or table to eat you have different servers all the time so that probably takes some of the high pressure off.
Well, we absolutely hated Freestyle cruising, but after the first night, we found a simple work around in the MDR. When we arrived each night for dinner we made our reservation for the next night and requested the same server team each day. You can only make MDR reservations 24 hours in advance. They will allow you to make reservations in the extra cost dining rooms up to 7 days in advance. The server team told us the last day that they appreciated us asking for them specifically as it was looked upon by the Head Waiter that they were doing a really good job.
Whoever came up with Freestyle cruising should be forced to walk the plank. The first night we didn't know we could do this, and the wait for a table in the MDR was 2 1/2 hours, so much for "eating any time you want".
 
We've done one RC cruise, one DCL, and one Princess. The RC was, by far, the worst in this regard. Conversations would go like this:
Server: "How was your appetizer?"
Me: "It was good, thank you."
Server: "Oh, was it not excellent? What can we do to make it excellent?"
Me: "Nothing, it was good..."
Server: "Was there anything wrong with it?"
Me: "No, not at all..."
Server: "Then surely it must have been excellent? We are not satisficed with 'good' and will bring you other appetizers until you feel it was excellent. Was this appetizer excellent or would you like a different one?"
Me: "Okay... it was excellent"
Server, to my wife, "How was your appetizer? Excellent?"... and then to each of our three daughters until everyone said the word.
Once everyone capitulated, he'd say, "Then you have no reason to check anything but Excellent on your comment card" Ugh. It really did want to make us avoid the MDR.

Our DCL cruise was better, in that we didn't get 'coached' after every course, but we did hear the speech a few times over the 7 nights and there were more subtle queues. "Ah, Coke... excellent, excellent..." like trying to burn the word into your brain.
 
I lts also important to realise that it's not just the MDR servers that get penalised for not scoring excellent. But you don't see Mickey taking you to one side to tell you ti tick excellent on character interactions, or Anne-Marie peep out the curtain at the end of Disney Dreams to ask you to tick excellent.

This is a culture that is bred in the restaurants. And the bullying stems from the bullying that happens in the restaura t teams. Its a toxic culture where people are constantly fighting over a lack of side plates, glasses, bread rolls.... even linens.

The fact that servers are penalised for food quality is ridiculous. - the first look at your food they get is when they remove the klosh at the service station. It's a food factory in that kitchen - meal after meal churned out. There is no time to question what's on the plate, the kitchen are already prepping the next meal or cleaning.

Food quality should rest on the shoulders of the chefs and the executive team at Celebration. Silly things like when they say a dessert comes with clotted cream and it's not clotted cream, or the fact that for over 20 years DCL has served almost raw vegetables - nowhere near Al dente. Food servers are not responsible for this.
 
We have taken 9 DCL cruises.

I have to say our last NYC Bermuda cruise and Double Dip was not too bad with the "excellent speech". Our first few though they really came down hard on telling us they want nothing but excellent. It was repeated over and over that it got really annoying. One cruise, I almost did not want to go to the MDR. How many times do we need to be reminded?

I should have said something. I will say something nicely if it happens again. I don't want to hear it over and over on the same evening. I can see reminding us once each night.

One other thing that I was not happy about is how much they push alcohol. Yes, they make lot's of $$$ and higher ups have them push it. One cruise was really bad (Western), I did not want to go to any of the clubs/comedy shows. You could not sit anywhere - lounge on one of the floors - had a bar nearby, watching fireworks up on the deck, etc. We were a large group. Some drank more than others but they were on top of you. I have one or two and that is usually my limit or I would say I am a recovering alcoholic........maybe that might work?

I did make a note of it on their comment card.

We have not taking a cruise in a few years. Hopefully things have changed. But from this post, it is still happening.
 
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