Beckie's Babblings- on the "beach" (comments welcome)

[decaff38]

Been a bit since I 've written. I weighed in at 200 this morning!! How frusterating is that!! I haven't had a moment to run this week and I'm so exhausted that I need ever moment to sleep. I'm very busy with the logistics of a tricky union negotiations. Quite a balancing act. My family is being as understanding as can be expected. I have stayed on plan mostly. I did have an entire box of sugarfree pudding and cool whip one night. I guess if your going to crack thats not too bad. Lost another inch. Really want to run this weekend. It is filling up already. And next week is going to be NUTS!! I'm trying to take care of me first but that is now involving getting sleep and eating correctly only. I have faith it will calm down soon. The weather is getting better each day and my parents are back from Texas(snowbirds) and they are coming to visit next weekend. They always ground me. I love to just chat with them. I'm hanging inthere!!

 

[2bemarried]

Alright mr scale...listen up...Beckie is working her hiny off here...and you need to scoot on down the dial

Sending ya lots of PD Beckie! Hope your weekend goes well.

 

[decaff38]

Thanks for speaking to Mr. Scale , but he is a hardhead and today he gave me again 200. Well, at least it wasn't 205. Had to be up at 6:00 because the man who is going to do our sidewalks was coming to measure at 6:30 a.m. Do you think he's nuts?? I work with him daily , and he is driven. He is a perfectionist so, I know it will be perfect. We will be working on the basement ceiling this weekend. Everyday is a bit closer to the finished product. I work my 2nd job today from 4-10 and my daughter has a dance performance Sun at 4:00. Never seem to have a full day to get anything done. Thank goodness I can look forward to summer( at least June) I work the month of July for the school district. I'm going to try to stay on plan. I'm waiting out a craving right now, so I'm kind of babbling. Have this huge craving for pancakes and syrup. I already had a 2 egg omlet with cheese. I'm not hungry , just craving. I'll make it. Have a super weekend!!

 

[decaff38]

Wasn't my best weekend. Was just kind of munchie all weekend. Did get the bedroom ceilings done. Next are the closets and carpet. We are shooting for one daughter in her room by Thurs and one on Fri. Might be able to get it done. My parents will be here Sat. noon and I work Fri. 4-10 and overnight. Didn't get one run inthis weekend. Bummer. Tonight is abig school board meeting so that takes care of tonight. Will be glad when that's over. I will get back on plan today but wish I could fit in a run. Maybe midnight! I have to have failth things will calm down.

 

[decaff38]

4/20/04
Well,what a nice surprise!!! I steped on the scale and I was at 199 at 6:00am. Couldn't holler the house was sleeping !! I'm going to wait for about 3 days to be absolutely sure I'm here!!! Wow!! I feel like I have been working for this goal for so long. I really have been only serious since Feb. but have wished to drop below 200 for years. I've been okay with just low carb. and little meals . Hope it holds!!

 

[PAdisMOM]

Way to go!!!

I just let out a little holler for you. What a milestone!

 

[DoeWDW]

Shhhh, Beckie's in Onederland but we have to whisper for the next 2 days until she's SURE the scale will continue to cooperate - we wouldn't want to jinx it!!

I'm so happy for you, Beckie, but I'll save the major celebration until you're ready!

Calmer times are coming! Just hang in there and do what you can do. Sleep has to be a top priority, and eating healthy is also very important. Exercise.....well, it will have to wait. There are only so many hours in the day.

Hope you have a calm and peaceful Wednesday!

 

[decaff38]

Thank you Doe for the calm and peaceful wish!

I weighed in at 200 this am but I saw 199 flash! I'm not concerned the TOM is coming soon and nothing is as it seems then. I feel good but really am hoping to find the exercise time. I just finished an hour and 45 minute parent meeting that actually went better than I expected. I was supposed to be at another meeting at 4:00 but didn't make it and have one more at 5:30. Hope to be home by 7:00 and then to the basement to hang closet doors and lay the carpet. Friday I am planning on being sick. I need 1 day to myself to just think and rest. Iam being so good with this low carb stuff. I know all will work out in the end. I did a little Math today and it looks like I will be at my goal of 169 by Aug. 23 if I stay at the same pace. I am really hoping that when the running time fits into my schedule, that it might speed up the loose a bit and may be be there by Aug. 1 and be able to enjoy the remainder of the summer in my skinny shorts. Thanks for the encouragement and I will post with confidence when I belive it my self.

 

[decaff38]

Well, today I showed up at 202. Just hanging in there. Tomorrow I have a day off and I'm going to start with a run. I have a thousand things to get done. I will stay on plan and will get in some exercise. Should be a good day!

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Beckie! I'm stopping by to check on you. Wow! You saw a flash of 199 on your scale? I think when I see 199 on my scale I'm going to yell so loud, it will be heard around the country! What a wonderful accomplishment. I know you'll be solidly in onderland soon! Take care and have a great upcoming week.

 

[DoeWDW]

Beckie, I'm just stopping by to say hi!

I hope all is going well for you! Has the Whoosh Fairy been by for a visit yet???

 

[decaff38]

I wish I could say I was physically on a fabulous vacation and having so much fun I didn't have time to write but Not true. I really just fell apart and was under huge stresses and ate everything insight for about a month. Didn't exercise and let my mind think a lot of negative thoughts. I have to concider myself lucky to have only gained 5 pounds , becaause I ate enough for 50 #s. I'm on day two of backon the street walking/running. I'm at least aware of my eating and I 'm writing in this journal again. Sometimes you just fall apart. I t feels so good to get back to fitness work. I don't know why I ever let it go. My perfectly planning vacation ran into some roadblocks with car repairs but I'm trying to get that back on track too. If I take it an hour at a time I might make it. I know there are so many out there with really serious problems and I should just buck up but for a bit I lost all my emotional and physical strength. I'm smiling again getting my act back together. It will be okay in a few days. Just glad that I didn't stay down. THanks for lidstening to the Babblings.

 

[DoeWDW]

Beckie, I'm sending a for you! I know what it's like to just fall apart and take a vacation from healthy living. There are times when we have so much going on that we just get overwhelmed and something's gotta give!

Glad to hear you're feeling more positive now. It may be a bit of a struggle at first but those healthy habits will soon seem comforting and familiar again.

Hope you have a peaceful and stress-free day!

 

[decaff38]

Thank you for the encouragement! Each day I'm feling a bit stronger. Today I'm going to work on my yard. I just have to take it one day at the time. One project at a time. It's beautiful out side and I need the sunlight to help me through the day. I'm not yet back on track but I'm watching the portion size and eating little meals 5 times a day. It keeps me from starving and eating the refridgerator. A lot of water and some quiet time are helping me get storonger. I can do it again. I at least get to start at 205 instead of 215. I find a small thing to be happy about each day and repeat it daily.

Wow! Your off in 15 days!! Hope youhave a great time and enjoy ever moment!

I'm stiil working on the plans for our trip. I'm trying to hold on to the dream of this trip. It is still up in the air but I have 200 days to get it all together. I can do it one day at a time.


Thanks and have a wonderful trip!!!!

 

[decaff38]

Just can't seem to get out of this slump. One day is okay and the next is dismal. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see if metopause is the culprit here. I'm a little young but have never felt so confused and helpless so I need some one elses help. I just try to accomplish 3 things a day. That is such a struggle. I just want to lay in bed and read and sleep with occational breaks to eat too much. I used tobe able to complete a list of 20 things and still have time for other things. Can't get it together. I'm hoping that he will have an answer for me. I'll never make it to the marathon unless I find a balance in my life. Good news . My 16 yr.old daughter is getting her first car today, We found a great little car with oinly 38,000 miles and squeaky clean. Got a great price 3,000 less than the book on it. She is excited. I am driving her to get it this afternoon. Nice distraction. I'm going to get through this and be back on my feet agian soon. Sometimes it's good to write out some feelings. I'll beat this too. This is a happy place to be (WISH boards) when you feel the worst. There's always some happy thoughts to make you smile.

 

[Strings]

Hi Beckie,

I'm sorry to hear you're not feel well. I think a dr.'s visit sounds like a good idea. maybe you are anemic, hypothyroid, or even depressed. You should get checked out though. Today, you DID get out of bed, AND you accomplished 3 things on your list. That is positive.




Beth

 

[decaff38]

Well, here is the run down. First, I cleaned my van from top to bottom. Always feels good. We got the new car and drove back 2 1/2 hours . Just in time for me to go to work.( I sleep at an assisted living home occationally to releve the caretaker and they pay me to sleep) Guess where that money goes?In the vacation account!! I got up this morning and came home. I did my 3 tasks. 1 phone call, 1 laundry load and the dishes. I also went in and took care of some paperwork in town. First in a awhile. I went to lunch with my daughter (1st in 2 months) I have had trouble getting up the courage to be in public unless I absolutely have to. I then went to my doctor and we discussed all my difficulties. He was so kind and understanding and I felt so comfortable. He did perscribe medication and I am acctually excited to getup tomorrow and get started on a new day. I feel like I have a big weapon to battle these doldrums. Like I said previously, I will beat this and be my positive self again . At least I was aware of what I was dealling with and found the help I needed by asking. For anyone else who is feeling helpless, just ask the medical world , they will help. Thank you for listening to my babbles and I really appreciate this site. It truly called me back to the real world. Kind of funny that the Fantasy land of dreams hosts a site which in its own way brought me back to reality of normal life. I'm taking this one day at a time, sometimes one hour or minute but I see a sun beyond the clouds. Thanks for listening!!

 

[decaff38]

Well, I had a different problem last night. I had trouble going to sleep because I was excited to wake up and start a new day. First in 2 months. It is cold and rainy but I'm feeling sunny.I am make a list of tasks that I need to get done or started today. I went to Bath and Body works after my Doctor appt. and bought 6 different lotions and body washes. By the way they are having their big sale. They were 4,5, and 6 $$. I can afford that. It always feels good to take care of yourself. Today I wiil walk again and begin doing home tasks. I am going to spend 1 hour planning our trip to WDW as a reward for me. Can't tell you how nice it feels to get up and not feel like I'm going into battle with myself again. It feels like a curtain has be raised and I can see the bright light of day. Thanks again for tollerating my dismal attitude. Now I need to get off the computer and on to my tasks and plans. Thanks!!!!

 

[Strings]

Hi Beckie,

Sounds like your day is off to a good start. I am glad that you are feeling better. You are definately allowed to use your journal to talk honestly about your feelings, the good and bad. Just a fyi, if you were started on an antidepressant, it takes 3 weeks for it to be fully effective. Just think how great you'll feel in 3 weeks.

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Beckie!

It's been a while since I've checked in with you and I just wanted to see how things are going. I'm so sorry you've been feeling down lately. It does sound like you are on the upswing again now and I'm happy to hear that. You are so right that we have to take life one day at a time and not let things overwhelm us. When I have a lot to accomplish in a day, I make a list too. It helps to feel like you are accomplishing something when you can run a line through an item to indicate that it's taken care of.

Anyway, I just want you to know (like you don't already ) that we support you and care about you!