Be careful when inviting guests

[coachv]

Our family of 4 started planning our trip to WDW 6 months ago. We saved every penny to make it a trip to remember. We decided to invite my divorced friend and her 8 yr. old son to go along with us as a nice gesture. We figured that this would be a favor to them plus it would save each of us on gas and lodging costs. My husband spent many hrs. planning this trip, and he ran every detail by for her approval first. She said that everything was fine. Well, we went on our trip 2 wks. ago and she tried to ruin it for everyone. We had a really nice room that we were sharing at HIFS, and she didn't like that from the beginning. After 2 days, she said she wanted to move out, but we discouraged her because we really couldn't afford to split up. We could not figure out why she was mad at us. She seemed to be upset everywhere we went and everything we did. My husband was willing to take her to another park, but she never suggested it. On the 5th day of our trip, she moved out of our room while we were in there, and did not inform us that she was moving out. She called 5 hrs. later to say that she was in her own room. That was fine with us, but we didn't understand why she didn't inform us. This cost us extra money that we had set aside for souvenirs, etc. She said that they were going to MGM on their own the next day, and to let them know when we were leaving on Sunday. On Sun. morning, my husband called her room to tell us that we were getting ready to pack up the car to head back to TX, and she was not there. He went to the hotel desk, and was told that she checked out that morning. She left us no message or anything. Evidently she took the bus or flew back to TX without telling us anything. This was very upsetting to us because we did not know where she was and was afraid we were leaving them there. My husband searched for her for 2 hrs. before we finally left.

I just feel that we did not deserve to be treated this way. We invited them to join us as a favor to them, and they treated us like this. This was a friend of 30 yrs. If she wanted to do her own thing, that was fine, but she should have told us. She has never given us so much as a thank you for letting them go along. I feel that we were treated very unfairly, and she has still not told us why she was so upset with us. We will never invite anyone to go along with us again. She tried to ruin a very nice vacation, but never again!!! I'm feeling very upset because I don't understand why we were done this way when we were trying to do a favor for a friend. I feel that she used us. Anyone else agree with me that her behavior was wrong and that we were treated unfairly??????

 

[GailT]

Put it this way, she would now be my EX-FRIEND. That is NOTt acceptable in my book, That is why my vacations are just that, MY vacations with my son, no one to ruin it or tell me what to do with the money I saved to take a trip.

 

[coachv]

Thanks. That's how I feel. I'm just feeling really upset that she treated us that way. We've been really good friends for 30 yrs. and I don't understand it at all, especially since we don't know what we did. So much for a favor I guess!!!!!

 

[swankybeth]

That sounds terrible. I'm sorry your so-called friend was so selfish and rude on your vacation. Nobody deserves treatment like that, especially while on vacation!!

Beth

 

[coachv]

Yeah, I'm pretty upset because we meant well. If we knew what was bothering her, we might could have done something about it. As a result, I lost a 30 yr. friendship. Luckily, our 5 and 7 yr. old sons still had a wonderful time on their first trip to WDW. They loved it. We'll try to save up again and go again BY OURSELVES in a few yrs.!!!

 

[Jenn]

Inviting extra people can really be tough. We have had several trips with extended family and personalities do come into play and sometimes issues arrise.

During one trip, we had 1 person who just didn't want to be at WDW, bottom line. He complained about the $$, the food, the heat, the lines, you name it. He made it difficult for the other 11 people in our group to enjoy ourselves. We learned our lesson and aren't planning to go with him again.

We have also had a trip where a fairly new boyfriend of my adult sister was invited along. We felt like we had to run all our decisions by him since we really didn't know him all that well. That in and of itself was a pain, but when he didn't agree with us, it really annoyed us. He didn't want to spend what we wanted on food, didn't want to hit the park we wanted to hit on a particular day, etc. We won't make that mistake again, either. My sister even had a bad time and it was her boyfriend!

 

[apm]

Coachv, you were definitely treated unfairly, and I'm sorry for you and your husband. Hopefully you'll be able to salvage some of the memories.

We're going in July, and bringing our 18-year old babysitter along. We're paying for nearly everything, so I expect that she'll be happy as can be. But, we're still a bit nervous about it, because it's someone else who needs to be kept entertained. Of course, she'll be helping to keep our kids (DD9 and DD4) entertained, as well. All in all, we're expecting a great trip.

- Andy

 

[Towncrier]

We invited my sister and her family to join us at WDW in 1998. We booked a Grand Villa at Old Key West Resort. Their only expense would be LOS passes for her kids (since we had free passes from the Disney Vacation Club for the adults). It was the WORST five days that I've ever spent at WDW. My youngest nephew was bound and determined to make Uncle John (me) miserable. Fortunately, I had the foresight to book an additional 4 nights at Wilderness Lodge for just my family. These were among the best four days that we have spent at WDW. So I guess that you can't have sweet without sour, or good without bad, but this was the LAST time that I invite family to spend a vacation with us. About the only good that can come from your experience is the realization that your next family vacation will be a lot better. Sorry that you had to deal with this.

 

[trishy]

My hubby & I vacation with friends quite often. We've learned from the beginning that we had to set our own itinerary and not to expect the others to join in if they didn't want to. Lots of things come in to play when you vacation with others (for example $$$$). We are fortunate to be able to splurge at times, but we don't expect others to do the same. We are going to BWV in just over a week with another family (they have their own room) and we have given each other our itineraries for the trip. We figure we can join up part of the time. Otherwise vacationing with others could feel pretty confining. What a bummer it didn't work out - it's a shame to lose a friendship, but sounds like she didn't appreciate you anyway.

 

[coachv]

She was never expected to follow our itinerary at any time. That's what was so crazy. She chose to follow us around everywhere, so we didn't understand why she was so upset. We would have been happy to drop her off at a different park, etc., but she never mentioned it once. My husband did ALL of the planning for this trip, and she did absolutely none. We sent her this website and others to look at, and she never did. She knew absolutely nothing so that's why she followed us around. Since this was what she chose to do, she should have refrained from her bad mood and the griping. My husband did an absolutely great job in planning this trip and she should have been nothing but appreciative. He has received not even as much as a thank you!!!!

 

[jesdmill1]

I lost a friendship over a trip. Visited LA with my SO and best friend. Turned out that she was terrified of LA and refused to leave the hotel - well, she wanted us to stay with her, and when we didn't she was really angry. She was participating in a talent contest at the hotel (the reason for the trip.) The last night we went to the show taping at Universal and she just took off - we stayed around for an hour trying to find her because we didn't want to leave her. Turned out she had hitched a ride with some other participants, saying she didn't want to ride with us because we were inconsiderate. Huh?

Why do people act so crazy on vacation?? Oh well, we still had a great time (2 days at Disneyland!) But I will not invite anyone to go with us now. SO's mother wanted to go with us to WDW this summer - uh-uh. She doesn't like me and she doesn't do what anyone else wants - it would be miserable. SO agrees and so she isn't going.

 

[lynr]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Almost every year we invite one of my sons friends, or my niece along with us. Last year we went with my sister and her family to Disneyworld and then the cruise we always have a great time. Of course I foot the bill for everything so there isn't really anything for them to complain about. This year I will have my niece with my son and I at DW and then my husband and my son's friend will join us for the cruise. I hope that me saying we always have a great time doesn't jinx me.

 

[Crzy4Dzny]

That's really too bad, what all happened to you. You definitely did not deserve it. I once asked my husband if we could invite a friend of mine & her husband to go with us and he said, 'NO!!!!!' He's a very easy going guy too, but he'd never want to take a chance of the friend ruining it for us, mainly cause of how expensive the trip is in the first place. We have gone with our daughter's & their families & it's been fun, but we go our own way when we NEED the alone time. Our next trip is just the two of us though, & we're looking forward to it.
One of our daughter's, son-in-law & granddaughter, lived in St. Cloud (last year, but have moved back home since), & they stayed with us a lot. But, what was fun, was we went to different places in Florida to eat, we went to Old Town, and the Belz Outlet Mall. Loved the Disney store there. But, it will be different for us to do Disney alone.

 

[hilside]

A couple of years ago, I was taking a driving trip with my friend Christine & her dh Mike to L.A. to visit another friend. I knew that Christine was not a Disney person (she's one of those that continually makes fun of me for my obsession.. "How many Little Mermaid things must one person have??" ). When we were discussing our itinerary for the trip, I stated I was going to Disneyland. But I made it clear that if Christine & her hubby wanted to come along, they were more than welcome to, but not if they were going to crab! I told them that if they even thought about whining about the heat or lines or just general Disney-ness , then they could just drop me off & they could go do something else. They were not going to ruin the magic for me! Well, they ended up going, & didn't complain once. In fact, I kept trying to get them to ride the wilder rides that I couldn't do (I use a motorized wheelchair & can't transfer out of it), because I know Christine likes roller coasters & such, but she said she'd rather just hang out with me. Awww.. :sniff, sniff:

 

[Robinrs]

I am one of those people who lost friends after a vacation...

I agree that what your friend did was inexcusable, but I would really advise you to talk to her. This is a friend of 30 years, that's longer than family! You should find out what happened.

The reason I say so is because I had a problem with a travelling partner and she had NO EARTHLY IDEA why I was so angry with her. AND I WAS ANGRY! After discussing it with her we managed to get on the same page and worked it out since then.

Vacations, IMHO, are planned and paid well for, so people have high expectations of them. When anything goes wrong we know this is not going to be rectified in a week from now. I now tell my son if you want to take your "little friend" look at me, I AM YOUR LITTLE FRIEND!

 

[mommyto3]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. After reading some of the replies I feel very fortunate, we always go on vacation with a certain family (our 10 year old daughters are best friends) and have never had a problem. We have a fantastic time together! But I guess this is not the norm. I will admit, there are some people in our family, and other friends of ours, who I don't think I would EVER want to go on vacation with!!!!

 

[GoofyBeth]

A few years ago I took a trip to LA with a "friend". All I was to pay for was my plane ticket .. since she already had the hotel room ... and would have used it anyway.

This "friend" treated me sooooooo badly I couldn't believe it. I tried to come home early - it was that bad!

Anyway, after we get home, she tells me that I now owe her, also, for 1/2 of the hotel bill. My 1/2 would be about $900. I hadn't budgeted for that at all.

Beth

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Just my thoughts this morning.. I think WDW can be overwhelming and the need to see it all and do it all can do the best of us in.. So in saying that, it is hard enough for families to get in there and enjoy it to its best.

Add another family, even though your best friend all those years, into those dynamics and you have another whole thing.. I am glad that you did not allow it to ruin your vacation and hopefully you will get to save again and go again.. Just you and your family... As far as the friend is concerned, I think the ball is in her court and I would let her contact you with an explanation of her behavior and if not, then you are better off without her.

 

[MikeP]

You are most definately entitled to an explanation of what your "friends" problem was. I hope her disrespect didn't completely ruin your Disney vacation. We almost had a similiar problem with an aunt and uncle that wanted to go with us in '95. My uncle is the type that wants things his way and my wife and I since we had originated the idea of going had every intention of doing things our way. Luckily by being fairly vague about our plans, by the time we "had" to share the details of our trip (dates), they couldn't get off work for the same dates.

 

[Mousgroupy]

Oh my! This just makes me nuts! This is just THE best place to vacation and THE most expensive place to vacation and to have that diminished AT ALL by someone you were DOING A FAVOR for...well...hope she is miserable and "gets" how poorly she treated your family. she probably doesn't and you will have to content yourself with a lesson learned. I'm so sorry and I hope you get to make a return trip sans the ungrateful wench soon!!! There, did that make you feel better?