Be a spectator not a commentator

[castleview]

...is what I'm about to tell my parents before they come to my kids soccer games…or else I'm not even telling them when the games are.

Seriously - somewhere in the past few years, my parents have become nasty and grouchy at kids games AND they apparently studied and learned everything about a sport they have never played before.

I get annoyed enough with parents who sideline coach and stay away from them (even my close friends who become different people when the game starts). So I certainly don't want to hear it from my parents either.

Anyone else been there?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

...is what I'm about to tell my parents before they come to my kids soccer games…or else I'm not even telling them when the games are.

Seriously - somewhere in the past few years, my parents have become nasty and grouchy at kids games AND they apparently studied and learned everything about a sport they have never played before.

I get annoyed enough with parents who sideline coach and stay away from them (even my close friends who become different people when the game starts). So I certainly don't want to hear it from my parents either.

Anyone else been there?

This is my DD's first year of soccer. I will take your advice lol... Then again I know NOTHING about soccer so I don't have a leg to stand on.

 

[castleview]

This is my DD's first year of soccer. I will take your advice lol... Then again I know NOTHING about soccer so I don't have a leg to stand on.

Just to let you know: knowing nothing about soccer doesn't stop a lot of parents from sideline coaching.

 

[shoney]

I had the exact opposite happen with my parents. I told them to just watch and be quiet or don't come!
They would make a big joke of it and mimic the parents that were taking it too seriously!!!

Honestly, I hate going to ds13's soccer games. The parents annoy the crap out of me! Of course I do go and put a smile on for him, but it is a long 90 minutes for me.

I will admit that I do not like sports at all and know nothing about the game. My parents don't either...I am an only child from a non-sports loving family.

 

[jrmasm]

A dad coached every step his kid took at my DD's game today. I wanted to punch him.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I've been to a couple of soccer games for my niece (she's 8). The parents really get into it. I don't get it.

You should go to the high school football game sometime.

 

[emma'smom]

I love to cheer at my dd's games...all the parents do! Everyone is very positive...but loud---except for on Silent Sunday when they pass out tootsie pops to shut us all up! My dd's both say they don't even hear us as individuals---just the roar of the sidelines. It's the coach they listen to.

 

[runsandjumps]

I will probably be a coach at some point in my kids lives.

I taught swimming and played a lot of sports when I younger so I love the games.

I was actually thinking about volunteering to be my sons soccer coach this season for the Y but my husband mentioned these kinds of parents to me and I surrendered.

Ana

 

[solstice621]

It's not just soccer...I'm a girls softball coach and the ball field can be a loud, obnoxious place sometimes. Being a coach, I admit I get heated about some of the plays, or calls from the umpires, but I am pretty sure that half of the parents forget that these are 8 year olds out there!

 

[Southernmiss]

I will probably be a coach at some point in my kids lives.

I taught swimming and played a lot of sports when I younger so I love the games.

I was actually thinking about volunteering to be my sons soccer coach this season for the Y but my husband mentioned these kinds of parents to me and I surrendered.

Ana

The coach can set the tone for the parent's behavior with a well placed speech to the parents at the initial parent meeting. He/ she can show he means business by tactfully speaking to offenders after a game the first time it happens.

Often referees in our league will warn parents.

Love the idea of the tootsie roll pops!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

My kids started playing football at six and it was CRAZY how parents acted. I felt like they thought that this game was going to get their kids in the pros or a college scholarship!!!

 

[sam_gordon]

Speaking as a "reformed" sports parent...

The coach has to watch 6, 8, or 11 players on the field in addition to coaching the kids on the bench. The parent is generally focused on their child.

The parent truly believes they are "helping".

Pre-season or pre-game speeches by the coach won't do any good. Parents will either think "they're not talking about ME" or just get caught up in the game.

My suggestion is if you are having problems with individual parents (I'm guessing it's probably 1-2, not everyone's parents), pull them aside immediately after the game and calmly inform them you know they're trying to help, but it's much better for the team if they leave the coaching to you. Of course, they're encouraged to be encouraging... "good hustle" or "keep your heads up", that kind of stuff. But you don't want them telling the kids exactly what to do. If a second conversation is needed, let them know their attitude could affect their childs playing time/position (and stick to it).

Even though I'm "reformed", I can still get caught up in the moment. My DS(9) took an elbow to the face during a game yesterday and went down crying. Play stopped and the opposing coach was acting like his player did nothing wrong. "What do you want him to do?" he asked loud enough to be plainly heard across the field. "Keep his elbows out of players faces" was my equally loud response. A "cool it" from our coach as he walked out to check on DS was enough to remind me of the side of the field I was on.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

...is what I'm about to tell my parents before they come to my kids soccer games…or else I'm not even telling them when the games are.

Seriously - somewhere in the past few years, my parents have become nasty and grouchy at kids games AND they apparently studied and learned everything about a sport they have never played before.

I get annoyed enough with parents who sideline coach and stay away from them (even my close friends who become different people when the game starts). So I certainly don't want to hear it from my parents either.

Anyone else been there?

Yes my mom and her boyfriend used to make LOUD comments about other peoples kids during my kids sports games. At times it was downright embarrassing. They didnt know alot of the kids or who their parents were and sometimes they made comments when the parents of the kid they were talking about could hear.
It got to the point that I told them both " BE QUIET" or stay home.

I'm guilty of saying things here and there , but its about my kid, not someone elses.

DD has played one travel soccer game only and already a parent reminder has come from the commissioner on parent behavior. Our parents are pretty well behaved but obviously there are some on other travel leagues that are not.

 

[skater]

Funny, there was an "obnoxious" grandmother at my 11 year old's son yesterday . My son's team was getting outplayed by a much better team - I think the score was 5-0 and she was making fun of the players . Our goalie dropped the ball, and she said "Hah! That goalie has butter fingers!" DH and I were cracking up, but it would have been awful if the kids had heard her.

 

[teller80]

Funny, there was an "obnoxious" grandmother at my 11 year old's son yesterday . My son's team was getting outplayed by a much better team - I think the score was 5-0 and she was making fun of the players . Our goalie dropped the ball, and she said "Hah! That goalie has butter fingers!" DH and I were cracking up, but it would have been awful if the kids had heard her.

Making fun of 11 year olds is funny??? I think that's horrible.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

The coach can set the tone for the parent's behavior with a well placed speech to the parents at the initial parent meeting. He/ she can show he means business by tactfully speaking to offenders after a game the first time it happens.

Often referees in our league will warn parents.

Love the idea of the tootsie roll pops!

My DH gave up refereeing football AND umpiring baseball because of the uncontrollable PARENTS and other spectators. Well, that and a police escort after a football game where a PLAYER sucker punched a CHEERLEADER and the stands emptied for a full-on brawl.

I have been urging him to write a book about this subject.

 

[luvsJack]

When ds played baseball, the yelling in the stands could get crazy. Parents yelling all different things. I asked him if it bothered him or if he paid attention to it but he said that he liked hearing the "roar of the crowd" because it got their adrenaline pumped but that he was always too focused on his coach and the game to really know what any individual was saying.

Its just a part of sports. If they aren't saying anything negative, I wouldn't worry about it. Just tell your kid to ignore it and listen to the coach.

 

[skater]

Making fun of 11 year olds is funny??? I think that's horrible.

I think its horrible too, and we certainly wouldn't have been amused if a child had heard this. It was just one of those weird moments when something was so awful that we got silly over it. If one child had been able to hear her, I would have been the first to confront her and her daughter.

 

[teller80]

I think its horrible too, and we certainly wouldn't have been amused if a child had heard this. It was just one of those weird moments when something was so awful that we got silly over it. If one child had been able to hear her, I would have been the first to confront her and her daughter.

But the child's parents were probably in the stands, what if they heard you? My child was one of those kids who were not very good, I knew it but he enjoyed the game. At least until the other kids let him know in no uncertain terms that he wasn't good.

 

[bellebud]

I have a funny story, about myself...

At WDW Boardwalk, my dd(then about 5yo I think) is participating in a hula hoop 'contest' the cm's were having on the Boardwalk lawn area.

DD hadn't played any sports yet or anything.

DD is doing great at hula hooping, she's outlasting most of the others, it's down to just a few kids, I start feeling a little too much pride for a hula hoop contest, I'm getting a bit nervous, then a toddler starts walking through the contest area. Inside, I'm freaking out, thinking "OMG! THAT TODDLER IS GOING TO BUMP INTO MY dd AND MAKE HER LOSE THE CONTEST!! Holy Moly, SOMEONE GET THAT TODDLER OUT OF THERE!!!! what kind of parent lets their toddler wander around in a hula hoop contest?????!!"

I'm keeping it cool on the outside, but I'm really freaking out inside. I could barely keep watching. LOL! I can't even remember what happened. I do remember thinking I couldn't believe the feelings I was having and how strong they were. Holy mama bear rising up... for a hula hoop 'contest' at a resort at WDW. I told dh what was happening in my brain after it was over, and we were both laughing at me. WOW! It's like it wasn't even me!

DD has since played various sports, dance, gymnastics, and I was ok watching those (or at least kept it cool on the outside). I think I got a glimpse into the brain of a crazy sports parent