Ball caps & cell phones

[LisaR]

My almost 15 y/o son has apparently been rude since he was 7. He is permanently attached to his hat. He only takes it off to shower and sleep and when he needs to dress up for something where a hat wouldn't go with the outfit.

Good news, though. He has so many food allergies that he has only been inside a restaurant less than a dozen times in the 7+ years he has been wearing a hat so hopefully he hasn't offended too many people. I wouldn't let him wear a hat if he was dressed nicely and we were in a nice restaurant but I never knew anyone at Applebees could possibly be offended or even notice a person with a hat on. I've seen much worse in terms of clothing options that a hat would be the last thing I would notice. So I apologize in advance for DS rudeness, but I'm going to let him continue to wear his hat!

 

[happygirl]

I first would like to apologize if we disagree here....

BUT, I have a question.. I'm trying to choose my words wisely, because I don't want to use the wrong word, and have everything twisted around...

My DH gets very annoyed when I have my phone out at the dinner table, especially if we are in public... I never answer my phone in a restaurant, and I usually have the sound super low, but I do keep it on the table..

Now, I don't like hearing others phone's ring when I'm at dinner, and I really don't like hearing their entire phone conversations. I guess maybe I find it rude? (not sure if that's the right word)

AND ball caps,,,, I was raised that you never wore a hat at the table, and I seem to notice, more, and more, and more men (in my area anyway) wearing hats at the table in a restaurant... So not something I find offensive, but it's something I was taught that you don't do...

So DISers, how do you feel about answering phone calls, and wearing ball caps when dinning out?

Neither one of them bother me at all. I try to take care of myself and not worry about others. That what I was taught.

 

[Snowflakey]

Hats being worn do not bother me one bit. I've always thought it was the silliest "rule" to remove your hat while eating. I think a lot of men look good in ball caps or cowboy hats.

I guess I'm a relaxed type of person and could really care less if someone sitting at a table next to me has a hat on. If it makes you happy, comfortable or whatever wear it. I'd much rather enjoy the company I'm with then worrying about what others are wearing.

With the cell phone...again, I could care less if someone wants to sit it on the table next to them. I guess if someone was talking loudly where I had to hear their conversation it would be ackward but otherwise no worries.

LIfe is too short to get bent out of shape on silly things like who wears what and "oh my goodness - that lady has her cell phone on the table"

 

[Disney Ella]

Hats don't bother me either. The cell phone thing at the table is a little inconsiderate unless you are expecting a very important call.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think it is rude to have a phone on the table during dinner. If it "alerts" you in any way - even just lighting up - it takes your attention away from your husband, or whoever else you are with. That being said, I usually leave my phone in my purse, but if it is a casual restaurant I will leave the sound on and answer it if it is important. If it is a nicer restaurant where people actually go as much for the atmosphere as the food, I turn of the phone completely. It is totally rude to have a phone on in a restaurant like that - even for a doctor. If you are "on call" don't plan a nice dinner.

DH isn't a doctor, however his "on call" weeks are becoming more and more frequent in this age of corporate downsizing. This weekend is our anniversary and of course he's on call, just like he will be two to three weekends every month this summer. Since we've got a summer jam-packed w/ obligations almost every weekend AND he's working late hours most every night, we will in fact be fine dining w/ his phone on silent this weekend. If he has to take a call he will excuse himself & the most the other customers may notice is me sitting lonesome at the table while he takes care of the issue.

We have a friend who is a very committed doctor known to go out of his way to be available when a patient w/ an unexpected emergency may need to be in touch, despite not being officially on call. I know of a few parties and dinners over the years where he's had to step away to help out a patient. He'd either have to sit home quite often or decide to no longer make himself available the way he selflessly does. What you consider his rude behavior means very much to the patients he helps out.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think people are WAAAAAY more attached to their phones than they need to be. What are they afraid they're going to miss? There are very few true emergencies that require you to drop everything-- most things can wait AT LEAST until after dinner.

In the case of my DH, he has weeks where he's on call 24/7 and must answer calls/messages within a certain timeframe or it will be reflected in the stats on the weekly and monthly reports for himself and his department. Several of these are classified within ten minutes. If he wants to keep his job and/or have good stats on his reports and evaluations, the calls must be answered, period.

Unless it's a work issue or a serious need to be in touch w/ one of our DD's, neither one of us is inappropriately attached to our phones. I can tell you that from about 1:15 a.m. to 3-something a.m. this morning he would have given just about anything to let things wait.

 

[Andtototoo]

Respect and consideration are cornerstones to healthy relationships, in my book. A key component of respect and consideration is to demonstrate how you set priorities.

I think that unless you are waiting to hear the news of a birth or your employer requires your availability 24/7, that is quite rude to have your phone out and answer it during dinner.

I firmly believe that you concentrate on the people in front of you at dinner. It's a matter of respect and consideration. I believe that leaving the phone out indicates that you are only willing to concentrate on your family/friends unless something better comes along -- the ring of a phone.

If my SO insisted upon having their phone out during dinner, let alone answering it, I'd tell them to go eat by themselves or with the person calling since they were so much more important than me. I'd then find a dinner companion who wanted to make me a priority.

I know my dd has ended a friendship over a friend's insistence upon answering her phone and texting during their time together. I also know that my dd and her high school friends created a rule -- of their own idea and free will -- that there would be no texting during lunch because it was rude and disruptive. They were 16 at the time.

A cap on during dinner is irrelevant to me unless we are eating in a restaurant. But if it bothered my SO, I'd take the stupid thing off. No skin off my nose to do so.

 

[Jennasis]

Respect and consideration are cornerstones to healthy relationships, in my book. A key component of respect and consideration is to demonstrate how you set priorities.

I think that unless you are waiting to hear the news of a birth or your employer requires your availability 24/7, that is quite rude to have your phone out and answer it during dinner.

I firmly believe that you concentrate on the people in front of you at dinner. It's a matter of respect and consideration. I believe that leaving the phone out indicates that you are only willing to concentrate on your family/friends unless something better comes along -- the ring of a phone.

If my SO insisted upon having their phone out during dinner, let alone answering it, I'd tell them to go eat by themselves. I'd then find a dinner companion who wanted to make me a priority. I know my dd has ended a friendship over a friend's insistence upon answering her phone and texting during their time together. I also know that my dd and her high school friends created a rule -- of their own idea and free will -- that there would be no texting during lunch because it was rude and disruptive. They were 16 at the time.

A cap on during dinner is irrelevant to me unless we are eating in a restaurant. But if it bothered my SO, I'd take the stupid thing off. No skin off my nose to do so.

How fortunate for me then that my DH is also my business partner and understands the need for the presence of the phone.

 

[slusher]

My dear departed great aunt, who worked in an (edit) mental health facility would say

"visitors to the building always keep their hats on so the staff will know that they are just visiting"

We got the point.

Edit: DH can't understand why teenage girls always have to have their phones in their hand. It's true, take a look at any gaggle of girls.

 

[mhsjax]

Phones- unless you are on call or have a baby sitter, take the phone off the table. If you must leave it on the table, put it on silent.

Hats- would NEVER let my DH or DS do this, but if others do, I won't be really offended, however I was raised that men remove their hats.

 

[RadioNate]

Don't care, don't care.

Phones out don't bother me. Game playing, constant texting or taking an unnecessary call would bother me but their presence does not. I will answer quick texts and I absolutely will check mine to see if my kids have called.

Hats don't bother me. I wouldn't notice either way anyway. At least at a casual restaurant. I might at a 5 star, suit and dress wearing place but any local joint...not even going to notice.

People spend too much time worrying about what others do.

 

[Andtototoo]

How fortunate for me then that my DH is also my business partner and understands the need for the presence of the phone.

If you'll read what I wrote:

I think that unless you are waiting to hear the news of a birth or your employer requires your availability 24/7, that is quite rude to have your phone out and answer it during dinner.

I make it clear that I understand people sometimes have jobs which require that sort of availability.

 

[TDC Nala]

If you're anticipating that a babysitter may call, there is an imminent family (or pet) health emergency, you have a big business deal going, you're a doctor on call, etc,. OK keep your phone on the table. Better yet, put it on vibrate and stick it in a pocket. But excuse yourself and walk out if you take a call.

If it's just that don't want to miss a call or a text message, then you can put the phone away for a while and catch up with them when you are done. That's what voice mail is for.

 

[smitch425]

If you're anticipating that a babysitter may call, there is an imminent family health emergency, you have a big business deal going, you're a doctor on call, etc,. OK keep your phone on the table. Better yet, put it on vibrate and stick it in a pocket. But excuse yourself and walk out if you take a call.

If it's just that don't want to miss a call or a text message, then you can put the phone away for a while and catch up with them when you are done. That's what voice mail is for.

I have never ever answered the phone in a restaurant, but always have my phone with me. I forgot it ONE time about 2 years ago, and while it normally would not have been a big deal, a family member unexpectedly passed away. In the 90 minutes I was away from my phone I had gotten 23 phone calls and 18 texts. My phone goes with me everywhere, and it always will. The only time I ever put it on the table is if it won't stay in my pocket and I don' t have my purse, but I never take a call at a table.

 

[TDC Nala]

I didn't say leave the phone at home. Put it in your purse or pocket, look at it after dinner, take it to the restroom with you and look at it. But I can't see the need to have it out on the table to constantly monitor it, unless there is something going on that you know about.

 

[7165red]

I agree with all, no phone, no hats.

 

[tigger_mommy]

Answering the phone depends on the call. If the person receiving the call is, say, a doctor or a computer technician on call, and the number is one that could be directing action (the hospital, the call center, etc.) then answering a phone during dinner is a necessary evil. If there isn't some such situation, then there is no reason -- at least in my opinion -- to answer the phone during dinner, particularly when dining out. Being able to hear the ring at all would only be acceptable -- again, in my opinion -- if for some reason it might be essential to answer the phone and act on the call.

As far as wearing a hat at dinner... If wearing a hat isn't a religious requirement, then it's just plain rude to wear one at the table. I don't care if you're a "cowboy, who never takes his hat off", or whatever. Take your hat off at the table. It's just good manners, whether you're dining out or at home.

I'm from the South, a true cowboy always takes his hat off at the table. If not his momma, granmomma, or wife will knock his socks off, as well as said hat on his head. I can't stand seeing a man wear a hat to eat, it isn't allowed at my table.

We do not answer calls at the dinner table. If my kids aren't with us we may check to see if it is one of them, but as a general rule no phones. We do not keep them on the table. We may check to see what time a movie begins on one of our phones at a restaurant table if it is last minute, but then right back to the purse or pocket it goes.

 

[shortbun]

I first would like to apologize if we disagree here....

BUT, I have a question.. I'm trying to choose my words wisely, because I don't want to use the wrong word, and have everything twisted around...

My DH gets very annoyed when I have my phone out at the dinner table, especially if we are in public... I never answer my phone in a restaurant, and I usually have the sound super low, but I do keep it on the table..

Now, I don't like hearing others phone's ring when I'm at dinner, and I really don't like hearing their entire phone conversations. I guess maybe I find it rude? (not sure if that's the right word)

AND ball caps,,,, I was raised that you never wore a hat at the table, and I seem to notice, more, and more, and more men (in my area anyway) wearing hats at the table in a restaurant... So not something I find offensive, but it's something I was taught that you don't do...

So DISers, how do you feel about answering phone calls, and wearing ball caps when dinning out?

I wanna knock those caps off those heads, seriously, it's SO rude!!!
I don't get what makes grown men think it's ok. The boys, I'm willing to forgive because no one is teaching common courtesy these days. The other day, I was on vacation and in a nice restaurant. 12 men in this restaurant had on ball caps. 9 of them were over 50. My son even commented on it and he better NEVER dare to wear a hat in a restaurant until I'm dead and buried. I lump this into going barechested and painted to a winter football game-stupid.
I keep my phone on vibrate and if I HAVE to talk during dinner, I get up and leave to have the conversation-which is very rare. I only keep it available IF my son is expected to call. He usually texts so no conversation is necesseary.

 

[LisaR]

I wanna knock those caps off those heads, seriously, it's SO rude!!!
I don't get what makes grown men think it's ok. The boys, I'm willing to forgive because no one is teaching common courtesy these days. The other day, I was on vacation and in a nice restaurant. 12 men in this restaurant had on ball caps. 9 of them were over 50. My son even commented on it and he better NEVER dare to wear a hat in a restaurant until I'm dead and buried. I lump this into going barechested and painted to a winter football game-stupid.
I keep my phone on vibrate and if I HAVE to talk during dinner, I get up and leave to have the conversation-which is very rare. I only keep it available IF my son is expected to call. He usually texts so no conversation is necesseary.

Good to know!

 

[shortbun]

My DH met us at a casual restaurant the other night right from an outdoor sports event, with no time to stop home and change. He took off his baseball cap and I told him to go ahead and keep it on - the cap on looked much better than the hat line and fluffy hair underneath!
I hate men in hats. I'd soooo much rather see a man with bad hair than a rude man in a restaurant.


If someone approaced my DH and scolded him for that, they'd get an earful from me!

It won't be me. I really assume that any woman who's husband has a hat on when he's eating with her doesn't have the respect of her husband so I would just avoid those people.

Yes. I know many men who wear hats for exactly this reason. They're balding and prefer to cover it up when they can. I can understand that.

Bald is IN now and apparently so is rude. I can understand someone NOT wanting to be rude much more than someone wanting to hide their baldness. And now you all know how I feel.