"Bad Teacher" barks up the wrong tree!!!

[smitch425]

Ugh Please read again and you will find your answer.

I agree. Read everything (and I do mean everything), and it will be much clearer as to what is going on here. So much drama and conflicting info. It's like a real life soap opera.

 

[luvmy3]

Ugh Please read again and you will find your answer. Let me help you by attaching the post.

What answer, how come you didn't re-post all the conflicting info? If you wanted me to have my answer that would have helped

She got there. The project was displayed. She knew the grade and the grade was showing. What exactly was the teacher going to say?

I don't know what the teacher would have said, but I would have questioned her myself instead run to the Principal and demand my child be pulled out of class without ever getting some kind of explanation.

Who knows, maybe the reason the ds didn't tell the OP until right as she was going to leave is because he thought he was going to be in trouble for his bad grade. Maybe he embellished his "embarrassment" so that mom would take it out on the teacher and not him.
I for one would like to get an explanation from the adult in the situation before I became "that parent" and disrupted my child's schedule (and the teacher he was switched too) all because my child claimed his feelings were hurt. Again, YMMV.

 

[sam_gordon]

She got there. The project was displayed. She knew the grade and the grade was showing. What exactly was the teacher going to say?

Possibilities...
1) The score was 44/50 (or 44/45) and I thought he would be proud.
2) I had told the students before they did the project it would be displayed along with the grades
3) I'm using this as a learning experience so the kids know to always do their best work
4) It wouldn't be fair to the other kids to show their grades and not your son's.

That's what just came off the top of my head. We'll never know the teachers' reason though.

 

[pweyl36]

In some cases, yes to each of those. You find out WHY the child is embarrassed and you work from there and you figure out a solution or a compromise. School is much more about learning when a child doesn't have to go every day and worry about being humiliated.



Of course you do.

Simply because YOU have never had a problem doesn't mean they don't exist. Simply because having your child talk to the teacher worked for you doesn't mean it always does for everyone.

He TRIED to talk to the teacher. It didn't work. That was how the whole thing started and why the OP was angry in the first place.

You should never go by what your child tells you,she should of maybe talk with the teacher what her son told her,and yes,I have success with my children taking their own resposniblity. Its better then accussing the teacher of picking on them,But hey Iam concisder the lazy parent because my kids do for them self.

 

[aaarcher86]

Personally I didn't mean nor do I think that a teacher should automatically turn things around or change things because a kid is embarrassed. What I do think is that any kid deserves the respect of their feelings enough that an adult find out why they are embarrassed. Not wanting to dress out for gym? Maybe its a girl with a horrific scar from an accident that she doesn't want her classmates to see. Embarrassed by working at the board? Maybe the kid has been picked on by the other students for not being strong in math or misspelling words. Embarrassed to speak in front of the class? Perhaps the child has a speech impediment and is embarrassed. Some people stutter when they get nervous and that could be the issue. I am not necessarily saying that in those cases an exception should be made but I think the teacher in each should at least find out what the problem is and see if something can be done to help the child. But THIS could have been changed for this kid. There was no reason not to. I can just about guarantee that the school has no rule that said she had to put that project out. He told her that it bothered him. How about we actually encourage a kid instead of kicking him while he is down. And a piece of art? That's what it was? Why on this whole green earth would a teacher not put their BEST work on display? It doesn't make sense to not.

I disagree in regards to this project. I don't really think scars and speech impediments are comparable, but in this case, this is the project the teacher chose to display. It may not have been his best work, but for whatever reason this is the project on the table as a class. Somebody is going to be the low grade. Maybe it was decided before. Perhaps it was the first large visual project the class has done versus having a stack of papers out. I have no idea. But it's the teachers discretion. I personally am not buying that half the class failed and the teacher displayed that. It just doesn't make sense.

If everyone's work is displayed then everyone's work is displayed. It's not a democracy. The kids don't get to decide if they want it out or not because they're embarrassed. If this project had no grades attached and the kid didn't want it out I'd agree with the teacher on keeping it there. If her son had asked the teacher not to display it because he's embarrassed the teacher didn't need any further understanding, but decided not to offer special treatment. And since OP didn't ask the teacher about it for all we know the kid simply asked for it not to be displayed without a reason and the teacher said no and that was it. No further discussion.

 

[luvsJack]

I disagree in regards to this project. I don't really think scars and speech impediments are comparable, but in this case, this is the project the teacher chose to display. It may not have been his best work, but for whatever reason this is the project on the table as a class. Somebody is going to be the low grade. Maybe it was decided before. Perhaps it was the first large visual project the class has done versus having a stack of papers out. I have no idea. But it's the teachers discretion. I personally am not buying that half the class failed and the teacher displayed that. It just doesn't make sense.

If everyone's work is displayed then everyone's work is displayed. It's not a democracy. The kids don't get to decide if they want it out or not because they're embarrassed. If this project had no grades attached and the kid didn't want it out I'd agree with the teacher on keeping it there. If her son had asked the teacher not to display it because he's embarrassed the teacher didn't need any further understanding, but decided not to offer special treatment. And since OP didn't ask the teacher about it for all we know the kid simply asked for it not to be displayed without a reason and the teacher said no and that was it. No further discussion.

It doesn't make sense for a teacher to display failing work at all. If she didn't think he had told his parents---call them or send home a note that must be signed and returned. Open House is not the place nor the time to do this.

His feelings should be taken into account. Work that is displayed for all of the other students and parents to see (whether they actually look at it or not) should be something that the student is proud of. He was embarrassed and imho, she should have considered his feelings. Its HIS work.

Its not about special treatment, its about doing something that will encourage the child rather than tear him down. The teacher missed an opportunity with this kid.

And for all we know, it happened just like the Op said it did.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It doesn't make sense for a teacher to display failing work at all. If she didn't think he had told his parents---call them or send home a note that must be signed and returned. Open House is not the place nor the time to do this.

His feelings should be taken into account. Work that is displayed for all of the other students and parents to see (whether they actually look at it or not) should be something that the student is proud of. He was embarrassed and imho, she should have considered his feelings. Its HIS work.

Its not about special treatment, its about doing something that will encourage the child rather than tear him down. The teacher missed an opportunity with this kid.

And for all we know, it happened just like the Op said it did.

I think it was a missed opportunity too.

I'm wondering how it became a paper mâché project, when the OP said graded paper?

 

[aaarcher86]

It doesn't make sense for a teacher to display failing work at all. If she didn't think he had told his parents---call them or send home a note that must be signed and returned. Open House is not the place nor the time to do this. His feelings should be taken into account. Work that is displayed for all of the other students and parents to see (whether they actually look at it or not) should be something that the student is proud of. He was embarrassed and imho, she should have considered his feelings. Its HIS work. Its not about special treatment, its about doing something that will encourage the child rather than tear him down. The teacher missed an opportunity with this kid. And for all we know, it happened just like the Op said it did.

If that's the caliber of his work it's really no one else's fault but his own. Everyone in that class displayed the same project and was held to the same standard. If the grade wasn't displayed and he was just embarrassed about the project and his performance on it would you feel the same way? If everyone is displaying the same thing but this child doesn't because of his feelings that IS special treatment.

OP herself only has one side of the story so even she doesn't know how it all went down entirely.

 

[luvsJack]

You should never go by what your child tells you,she should of maybe talk with the teacher what her son told her,and yes,I have success with my children taking their own resposniblity. Its better then accussing the teacher of picking on them,But hey Iam concisder the lazy parent because my kids do for them self.

Where did anyone say you were a lazy parent?

Its good that your kids have been successful in handling their own problems in school but that isn't the case with every child. Many, many kids need guidance and help from their parents for this kind of stuff. And some adults (teachers, administrators, etc) will not listen to a child, it takes an adult stepping in to help them.

And no you shouldn't only believe what your child says. But, you child needs to know you are there for them and are ready to back them.

 

[tajz90]

It doesn't make sense for a teacher to display failing work at all. If she didn't think he had told his parents---call them or send home a note that must be signed and returned. Open House is not the place nor the time to do this.

His feelings should be taken into account. Work that is displayed for all of the other students and parents to see (whether they actually look at it or not) should be something that the student is proud of. He was embarrassed and imho, she should have considered his feelings. Its HIS work.

Its not about special treatment, its about doing something that will encourage the child rather than tear him down. The teacher missed an opportunity with this kid.

And for all we know, it happened just like the Op said it did.

Amen....
However, she could have displayed it WITHOUT the grade Teacher was wrong. Open house is not the time for grades.

 

[sam_gordon]

Where did anyone say you were a lazy parent?

Its good that your kids have been successful in handling their own problems in school but that isn't the case with every child. Many, many kids need guidance and help from their parents for this kind of stuff. And some adults (teachers, administrators, etc) will not listen to a child, it takes an adult stepping in to help them.

And no you shouldn't only believe what your child says. But, you child needs to know you are there for them and are ready to back them.

I have no problems backing my children. But you better believe I'm going to find out if they're telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I'd still like to know if the OP had discussed any of her prior concerns with the teacher.

This was not the only incident where she has rubbed me the wrong way. Just the straw that broke the camels back.

 

[declansdad]

Adults don't have their job performances displayed. Not just because of a law, but because a certain level of privacy is expected. Why should it be different for a kid? Not arguing. Just curious.

An adult's job performance or lack thereof are often displayed. A job/performance however is private. This wasn't a report card it was a project. Even given that fact many people feel the mark shouldn't have been displayed. You could surmise that since all projects were displayed with the mark and many had failing marks, the teacher was not out to humiliate the OP's son.

 

[North of Mouse]

 

[lukenick1]

It doesn't make sense for a teacher to display failing work at all. If she didn't think he had told his parents---call them or send home a note that must be signed and returned. Open House is not the place nor the time to do this.

His feelings should be taken into account. Work that is displayed for all of the other students and parents to see (whether they actually look at it or not) should be something that the student is proud of. He was embarrassed and imho, she should have considered his feelings. Its HIS work.

Its not about special treatment, its about doing something that will encourage the child rather than tear him down. The teacher missed an opportunity with this kid.

And for all we know, it happened just like the Op said it did.

It happened EXACTLY like I said it did.

 

[lukenick1]

I think it was a missed opportunity too.

I'm wondering how it became a paper mâché project, when the OP said graded paper?

It was a Social Studies project. A paper mache globe and a paper with grade next to it on desk. DS asked her not to put the paper with grade on the desk next to the globe. He has no reason to make this up. He told me he didn't want to go to Open House minutes before we left the house because he was ashamed that everyone there would see his grade on it. A 44 means 44pts out of 100. A failing grade.

 

[kellyg403]

I would say after this I am out of this thread..but probably not.

OP, how do you know for SURE what was said between teacher and child when they had their conversation. You say your son is shy and has anxiety. That type of child has great difficulty having those conversations with an adult, especially one in authority like a teacher. Your ds may have felt that somehow he conveyed to the teacher he did not want the grade displayed or that he was embarrassed. However, possibly that's not how it came across to the teacher. Maybe he said he was worried about his parents seeing his project, maybe there was something that made her think he was nervous about something, not necessarily that grade being displayed. He thought he said the right things?

OP, you are right that since you know all the story you have a better handle on things and what you did you can be o.k. with. You haven't really conveyed any details that shed light on ALL of the sides in the story. So we are left to make assumptions in reply.

Kelly

 

[lukenick1]

I have no problems backing my children. But you better believe I'm going to find out if they're telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I'd still like to know if the OP had discussed any of her prior concerns with the teacher.

No I didn't discuss anything with her because DS was already feeling as if the teacher hated him, why go there and make matters worse. After he told me what was going to happen at Open house (and I witnessed it with my own eyes) I was convinced that he may be right. He told me he said "Mrs S., I don't want you to put that paper on my desk because it's a bad grade and I am embarrassed for people to see it". Her response was, "that's too bad, it's going on your desk for your parents to see". When ds and dh went into the room to retrieve the paper at open house she barked at him "YOU PUT THAT RIGHT DOWN THAT STAYS HERE" and took it from him, not knowing my dh was his Dad and standing not far behind. My dh said she was very nasty in the way she spoke to him. Then dh went to her, took the paper from her hand and said "why would you display this"? Her response was " It was upside down on the desk" which is total bologna because we all saw it with our own eyes face up with a big red 44 on it. So please tell me why I should have asked her why she did it when she flat out lied right to my dh's face.

 

[declansdad]

No I didn't discuss anything with her because DS was already feeling as if the teacher hated him, why go there and make matters worse. After he told me what was going to happen at Open house (and I witnessed it with my own eyes) I was convinced that he may be right. He told me he said "Mrs S., I don't want you to put that paper on my desk because it's a bad grade and I am embarrassed for people to see it". Her response was, "that's too bad, it's going on your desk for your parents to see". When ds and dh went into the room to retrieve the paper at open house she barked at him "YOU PUT THAT RIGHT DOWN THAT STAYS HERE" and took it from him, not knowing my dh was his Dad and standing not far behind. My dh said she was very nasty in the way she spoke to him. Then dh went to her, took the paper from her hand and said "why would you display this"? Her response was " It was upside down on the desk" which is total bologna because we all saw it with our own eyes face up with a big red 44 on it. So please tell me why I should have asked her why she did it when she flat out lied right to my dh's face.

You've never discussed anything with the teacher and you call yourself an advocate for your child!!!

 

[lukenick1]

I would say after this I am out of this thread..but probably not.

OP, how do you know for SURE what was said between teacher and child when they had their conversation. You say your son is shy and has anxiety. That type of child has great difficulty having those conversations with an adult, especially one in authority like a teacher. Your ds may have felt that somehow he conveyed to the teacher he did not want the grade displayed or that he was embarrassed. However, possibly that's not how it came across to the teacher. Maybe he said he was worried about his parents seeing his project, maybe there was something that made her think he was nervous about something, not necessarily that grade being displayed. He thought he said the right things?

OP, you are right that since you know all the story you have a better handle on things and what you did you can be o.k. with. You haven't really conveyed any details that shed light on ALL of the sides in the story. So we are left to make assumptions in reply.

Kelly

I never said he was "shy" I said he has no self confidence or self esteem. In other words, he thinks he stinks at school, sports, he's short, hates his hair cut etc. He doesn't have any problem sticking up for himself or making his feelings known, thankfully. He does have anxiety, irrational fears and fears of being a failure due to the lack of self confidence.

 

[lukenick1]

You've never discussed anything with the teacher and you call yourself an advocate for your child!!!

Why are you wasting your precious time on my thread if it disgusts you so much? I think you are enjoying this