bad morning......

[momof5boys]

Mermaid, call his guidance counselor tomorrow, just make sure he is functioning ok in school. My DS always tells me school was fine but then the next morning............ Anyway my son had a horrible first half of school yesterday. Leaving class etc. Counselor called and guess what? This has been going on for a few weeks! Odd he seemed fine since our last outburst! So calling the neuro developmental ped again. We need to tweak his 504 plan, possibly change it to an IEP(that holds more power) I'll be thinking about you in the morning! Good luck!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My 14 year old has Asperger's and is the same way about getting up. He doesn't like school but does fine once he gets there. I always try to think of a "hook" when I'm getting him up like, "Today is a minimum day" or "Remember you have a field trip today." If I can't think of anything fun about school for that day, I'll start engaging him in a conversation like, "Do you want to hear I joke I heard on TV last night? Get out of bed and I'll tell you." That will usually spark his interest and make him forget that he didn't want him to get up.

If all else fails I say, "If you don't get up I'll sing The Christmas Shoes!" Then I start in as loud as I can singing, "Sir I want to buy these shoes....." That makes him jump up and run for the bathroom! Like I said, you've got to have a hook!!!!

 

[Sparx]

the public school system does not work around the way that the bodies of teenagers work. he's tired in the morning. is there any way that you could wake him up in a less jolting way than like, an alarm clock? maybe go to sleep 30 minutes to an hour earlier, and get up an extra thirty minutes earlier. i know i'm much more pleasant in the morning if i'm well rested and not rushing. that extra thirty minutes to just sit and relax and wake up really works wonders.

good luck!

 

[PatsGirl]

I'm all about tough love. I understand that he has ADHD but IMHO you need to be alot firmer now that he is a teenager. Personally I'd tell him that getting up for school and getting on the bus is not negotiable. At that age, he should be getting himself up without the help of anyone else. Sure, on occasion he may need another nudge if he falls back asleep or some help getting organized to get on the bus on time but it sounds like you are taking the responsibility for his getting up, getting ready, and getting to school?

BTDT, had a few very rough years with DS who turns 20 today He eventually decided it was easier to get up in the am and get on the bus than deal with the consequences set up by me which included walking to school one day and having ice water dumped on him. Yeah, some of you might think its cruel but both were a one deal thing and worked magic and were imposed after many other attempts at trying to work things out (loss of privileges, taking things out of his room, grounding, etc.) in a more civil manner

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm all about tough love. I understand that he has ADHD but IMHO you need to be alot firmer now that he is a teenager. Personally I'd tell him that getting up for school and getting on the bus is not negotiable. At that age, he should be getting himself up without the help of anyone else. Sure, on occasion he may need another nudge if he falls back asleep or some help getting organized to get on the bus on time but it sounds like you are taking the responsibility for his getting up, getting ready, and getting to school?

BTDT, had a few very rough years with DS who turns 20 today He eventually decided it was easier to get up in the am and get on the bus than deal with the consequences set up by me which included walking to school one day and having ice water dumped on him. Yeah, some of you might think its cruel but both were a one deal thing and worked magic and were imposed after many other attempts at trying to work things out (loss of privileges, taking things out of his room, grounding, etc.) in a more civil manner

I understand- but I can't physically pick him up and put him in the car. There have even been days that I get him to school and he won't get out of the car- the guidance counselor comes out and tries- but we end up going home- per the gc. I have had my dh come from work to get him into the school- only to be called by the GC an hour later because my son has been sitting in his office sobbing and refusing to go to class. Others have mentioned Asperger's and my ds has this too- along with anxiety (as well as the adhd) he very much lives "in the moment" and consequences don't matter.

So far this morning is going well.... knock on wood!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

had a really bad morning with my ds (almost 13). He absolutely HATES school- and he has adhd as well as other issues... every morning lately has been me pushing him to get ready, I end up yelling and he ends up yelling. I'm so tired of starting our days like this. I'm really at a loss. Rewards don't work, punishment doesn't work. The school doesn't know what to do- he does pretty well once he gets there..... it's just GETTING HIM THERE!

Thanks for listening.

I could have written this about my DS11. He doesn't HATE school, but he doesn't like it either. Getting him up in the morning and getting dressed (before eating or brushing teeth) can take 1/2 hour. Getting him to eat is another issue. AND he gets really grumpy when he is rushed. So I feel for ya. We have our good days, but not enough.

It doesn't help that his school starts at 7:30! AND his brother (elementary school) doesn't have to be at school until 9:00.

Today was bad for us, too.

 

[PatsGirl]

Mermaid 02 ~ wanted to thank you for not going on the defensive. After writing my post and walking away to get ready for work I was second-thinking myself and figured I'd get flamed...it's not that I don't empathize and honestly, although there was some talk of behavior disorders with DS I am no expert on the subject.

Have you tried emptying his room of all electronics and fun things? And then he can earn ONE back for each day he gets himself up and to school on time. That's a Dr. Phil scenario btw

Good luck. Brenda

 

[Mermaid02]

I could have written this about my DS11. He doesn't HATE school, but he doesn't like it either. Getting him up in the morning and getting dressed (before eating or brushing teeth) can take 1/2 hour. Getting him to eat is another issue. AND he gets really grumpy when he is rushed. So I feel for ya. We have our good days, but not enough.

It doesn't help that his school starts at 7:30! AND his brother (elementary school) doesn't have to be at school until 9:00.

Today was bad for us, too.

I've even tried the soothing vocals of JB.... whom he has decided he HATES
I had some links I wanted to send you- but theres no option to send you pm's...

 

[Mermaid02]

Mermaid 02 ~ wanted to thank you for not going on the defensive. After writing my post and walking away to get ready for work I was second-thinking myself and figured I'd get flamed...it's not that I don't empathize and honestly, although there was some talk of behavior disorders with DS I am no expert on the subject.

Have you tried emptying his room of all electronics and fun things? And then he can earn ONE back for each day he gets himself up and to school on time. That's a Dr. Phil scenario btw

Good luck. Brenda

I totally understand why it would seem we could just make him do what he should. Until folks actually see what it's like for us they usually think we just dont' try hard enough. I know there are still some who think "he wouldnt' act like that if he lived in my house."

 

[elan]

I totally understand why it would seem we could just make him do what he should. Until folks actually see what it's like for us they usually think we just dont' try hard enough. I know there are still some who think "he wouldnt' act like that if he lived in my house."

One of mine is like this too. I'm sure you try VERY hard.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I've even tried the soothing vocals of JB.... whom he has decided he HATES
I had some links I wanted to send you- but theres no option to send you pm's...

LOL, my DS would scream if I played my music for him to awaken him. I have found that the best way to get him to calm down is to point out the cute things the cat is doing. he loves her.

thanks for thinking of me, I had my pms turned off and forgot to turn it back on..it's back on now.

 

[momof5boys]

Mermaid, I seriously think we may be sharing the same kid! Does your son have a 504 or an IEP? Mine has a 504 but we are trying to get him classified for an IEP , my neuro developmental ped calls a 504 "the poor man's IEP" We are hoping that helps with the anxiety. He can't take any change, totally freaks him out! Fire alarms too, I don't think he likes the surprise of it.(we had to write that in his 504 that the guidance counselor gets him before the drill and he walks out with her) He does pretty well at home most of the time, school seems to be the big problem, not predictable enough.

 

[Mermaid02]

Mermaid, I seriously think we may be sharing the same kid! Does your son have a 504 or an IEP? Mine has a 504 but we are trying to get him classified for an IEP , my neuro developmental ped calls a 504 "the poor man's IEP" We are hoping that helps with the anxiety. He can't take any change, totally freaks him out! Fire alarms too, I don't think he likes the surprise of it.(we had to write that in his 504 that the guidance counselor gets him before the drill and he walks out with her) He does pretty well at home most of the time, school seems to be the big problem, not predictable enough.

I sent you a pm. We have a 504... in the past we have had problems with the teachers following it though. This year we have a pretty great group of teachers and I think they are pretty true to it.

 

[JodyLynC]

had a really bad morning with my ds (almost 13). He absolutely HATES school- and he has adhd as well as other issues... every morning lately has been me pushing him to get ready, I end up yelling and he ends up yelling. I'm so tired of starting our days like this. I'm really at a loss. Rewards don't work, punishment doesn't work. The school doesn't know what to do- he does pretty well once he gets there..... it's just GETTING HIM THERE!

Thanks for listening.

Is an online/virtual school a viable option for you?

 

[Katy Belle]

My DS9 has mild anxiety. It is hard to deal with on a daily basis. Hang in there!

 

[frndshpcptn]

There were times in High School that I hated going.

I'd fake sick to stay home - a lot. I hated going. I felt awful all day while I was there.

It was because I was being teasted / bullied by other kids. No adults seemed to notice and I wasn't about to tell anyone. I had made some dumb choices in front of "friends" and they came back to haunt me big time.

But - even with all that I still got top grades in honors classes, was a cheerleader, did the school plays, etc. I think that made it harder for anyone GCs or parents to really see that i was miserable all the time.

If he's crying in the GC offices, maybe something else is going on with his peers that hasn't been picked up on yet?

 

[Mermaid02]

Is an online/virtual school a viable option for you?

My husband will not hear of it. Kids go to school- period- end of discussion.

 

[Mermaid02]

There were times in High School that I hated going.

I'd fake sick to stay home - a lot. I hated going. I felt awful all day while I was there.

It was because I was being teasted / bullied by other kids. No adults seemed to notice and I wasn't about to tell anyone. I had made some dumb choices in front of "friends" and they came back to haunt me big time.

But - even with all that I still got top grades in honors classes, was a cheerleader, did the school plays, etc. I think that made it harder for anyone GCs or parents to really see that i was miserable all the time.

If he's crying in the GC offices, maybe something else is going on with his peers that hasn't been picked up on yet?

I know this has been an issue in the past- but he says it's not now. He has even given me the names of the kids that are picked on now. Not sure if I believe him that he is no longer a target. He's small for his age too- add that on to his other issues and he could be a prime target.

 

[JodyLynC]

My husband will not hear of it. Kids go to school- period- end of discussion.

To heck with your husband. What do you think? If this is something that is workable for you, look at the options that are out there and see what fits your child best.

 

[Mermaid02]

To heck with your husband. What do you think? If this is something that is workable for you, look at the options that are out there and see what fits your child best.

I think it might benefit him- but it's a decision I can't make on my own. His school work is going pretty well- it's the stress of getting there and staying there.