Bad Experience...anything else I can do?

[Ametista]

Today I learned my mom is a waitress at Disney World.

But really OP, don't let her ruin your trip any more. If you feel it will help then call or email the restaurant manager, otherwise just let it go.

 

[Pats Dragon]

I am sorry that you were offended by the waitress. Is it possible she mistook you for a stay at home mom since you were at Disney on a week day? Not excusing her but I doubt she would have meant to offend you. If it helps I looked at all the research on working moms vs stay at homes after my divorce and found out that daycare kids had better social skills. Makes sense if you think about it.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

I am sorry that you were offended by the waitress. Is it possible she mistook you for a stay at home mom since you were at Disney on a week day? Not excusing her but I doubt she would have meant to offend you. If it helps I looked at all the research on working moms vs stay at homes after my divorce and found out that daycare kids had better social skills. Makes sense if you think about it.

So considering the server appears to lack social skills we can assume daycare might have helped

 

[KrazeeK120]

OP, I'm sorry about this incident. It's definitely not appropriate for a server anywhere to act like that.

I'm one of those people who cares what others think of me, even though I shouldn't. I hate being judged. And mom-shaming seems to be extremely prevalent these days, especially with the wide use of social media.

So, I get where you're coming from. I really do. However, I do urge you to brush this aside and ENJOY the time with your family. You work hard at your job to provide for your kids so that they can do fun things like go to Disney! You deserve to have an awesome time and not let some silly waitress get in your way.

 

[Sinderelly]

Hmm I wonder if there's a possibility the waitress you had at Kona was the same one. She was a "rough" type and lacked common courtesy and any social graces.

She was rude and provided very poor service. There was a problem with the food I ordered and due to digestive issues I was unable to eat it. She was very impatient with me and made some rude comments "I don't know what your problem is" etc. Actually made fun of my eating/chewing issues.

We decided to adjust the tip accordingly. When she saw we had tipped a low amount. She said "Is that all you are tipping?" We were shocked! I went to the front hostess area and asked for a manager and had the tip completely removed. The manager was very apologetic and told us if we came back to ask for her and she would make sure we had better service. We have never been back. That experience kind of did it for us.

DH and I said the server might be okay at a truck stop but had no business working at WDW.

 

[maxiesmom]

Honestly, it sounds as if the woman was a bit of a nutter. You complained. The only other thing I think you should do is see if your tip can be taken away. Otherwise, what else do you think you need to do? You won't know if they talked to the lady or not, and they really shouldn't share that with you anyway.

 

[smiths02]

OP-Glad you got a resolution.

When I was pregnant with twins, I had a waitress at Waffle House tell me all about some family member that miscarried/had stillborn twins.
Like I said, I was pregnant with twins (like 36 weeks pregnant), I've had a miscarriage, but I just brushed it aside.

I do hope the server gets some retraining...kind of expect a little less negative talk. It doesn't even matter what the topic is or if it's personal...anything negative just ruins the magic, I don't want to hear someone complain about their DH's ex-wife or daycare or Trump or their boss or how tired they are, etc. When they do, I don't get really upset about it, though.

 

[lovewdwfun]

There's gotta be more to this story...

Actually...nope! I didn't mention working, daycare, or anything! She just saw all of our kids and started talking about how much she loved being a mom and how she only got to do it twice so she wanted to do it right, then proceeded to talk about her son's stepmom working and how she didn't agree with it, etc, etc. if nothing else, it was bizarre for someone to go into such a personal topic with us not even saying a word.

 

[lovewdwfun]

If the OP doesn't really believe what the server said was true, why should this "memory" stand out as such a big deal? There must of been something in the conversation that the OP was having with the server for the conversation to go in that direction. Servers don't just start blirting out how they are against daycare.

This server did. It was weird. I am over it, but it definitely takes away from the Disney magic when servers start going off about personal drama and controversial opinions. At that point, we were just waiting for the check and ready to be out of there. She also told us about all the parenting books she read and how HER kids were always on a strict nap schedule (she read all the books) after we said my son might skip his nap that day. And she scolded my other son because she didn't hear his drink order. My kids were really well behaved too, but she got upset she my son didn't see her coming with the food and move his arms. It was an odd experience.

 

[sharadoc]

OP sorry it happened and I understand your frustration.

My son has autism and when people found out (when he was little) they would insist on telling me the story of how their son didn't talk for a while and they were "so scared" that he had autism, but then he started talking and it all turned out fine. Why was that a good story to tell me? It didn't turn out fine for me, I swear at least 8 people told me the same type of story. Yet they had no idea they were being so mean and inconsiderate to me. Sometimes people are idiots!

 

[bumbershoot]

Today I learned my mom is a waitress at Disney World.

Ha!

If it helps I looked at all the research on working moms vs stay at homes after my divorce and found out that daycare kids had better social skills.

And you've forgotten that many of us on this thread ARE stay at home parents and have kids who aren't in daycare. (in my household we've got two incredibly social people whose moms were at home, and one incredibly introverted person who hides metaphorically in her closet after social outings whose mom worked outside the home) (always good to remember that kids whose moms are at home don't automatically just sit at home staring at their at-home parent...)

Actually made fun of my eating/chewing issues.

Yikes!

Actually...nope! I didn't mention working, daycare, or anything! She just saw all of our kids and started talking about how much she loved being a mom and how she only got to do it twice so she wanted to do it right, then proceeded to talk about her son's stepmom working and how she didn't agree with it, etc, etc. if nothing else, it was bizarre for someone to go into such a personal topic with us not even saying a word.

She saw all your kids, a family there on vacation during schooltime, and she assumed.

OP sorry it happened and I understand your frustration.

My son has autism and when people found out (when he was little) they would insist on telling me the story of how their son didn't talk for a while and they were "so scared" that he had autism, but then he started talking and it all turned out fine. Why was that a good story to tell me? It didn't turn out fine for me, I swear at least 8 people told me the same type of story. Yet they had no idea they were being so mean and inconsiderate to me. Sometimes people are idiots!

Might have been better to see it as people wanting to give you hope, to help you not be so scared or worried. That they were trying to give you something to cling to. And perhaps THEY hoped it, too for your son, their friend's/acquaintance's child. There are plenty of kids in this world who do exactly what the people told you about (my brother, for instance, didn't say a word until he was 3 and then he got tired of a certain older sister speaking for him), and if your son had turned out to be one of them those stories would feel differently to you.

 

[3Gsandme]

When I engage a CM (or anyone for that matter) in conversation, I feel everyone is entitled to his/her own opinions. I don't let others' opinions get to me. I would have let the matter drop as soon as said conversation was over. But that's me...I'm not easily offended, I guess.

While you shouldn't let other's opinins get to you, going on a tangent like that is totally unprofessional and it shouldn't happen.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm sorry you were so bothered by that server, and I think saying something to her and also complaining to the manager as all you needed to do. Servers are people, they make mistakes. I know its Disney and we all want magic, pixie dust and the fantasy but sometimes the real world creeps in. I'm not sure what you wanted anyone to do 2 days later, but if mentioning it to guest services makes it easier for you to move on with your vacation then I hope it works.

 

[Lisa F]

Ha!
Might have been better to see it as people wanting to give you hope, to help you not be so scared or worried. That they were trying to give you something to cling to. And perhaps THEY hoped it, too for your son, their friend's/acquaintance's child. There are plenty of kids in this world who do exactly what the people told you about (my brother, for instance, didn't say a word until he was 3 and then he got tired of a certain older sister speaking for him), and if your son had turned out to be one of them those stories would feel differently to you.

I disagree that it's not idiotic for someone to tell a story like that after your child has already been diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis comes from more than just a speech delay. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation for them and sometimes it is hard not to fill the space with words.

Instead of saying "i'm so sorry, what can I do for you" it feels better to tell a story showing how you can relate because you ALMOST experienced the same thing but whew you didn't really. To me this is insensitive and more about the story teller's feelings of awkwardness and wishing to relate and level the playing field when there is an awful tragedy than the recipient of the story's feelings.

What if someone started telling a parent pushing their child in a wheelchair about how their child was late walking, but oops it was nothing and they were SO worried that their child might end up with mobility issues? Would that give you hope or would it make you feel like they are insensitive to your feelings? Or how about after your mother dies someone saying "yeah my mother was in the hospital for a few days and it was SO scary but she is home and fine now." Same kind of thing. It does not offer hope to someone to point out they were worried to but it ended up being nothing once your child has already been diagnosed. it is highly insensitive. I wouldn't go as far as to say intentionally mean but definitely tone deaf to the situation.

 

[mom2my3kids]

doesn't make sense because she is a working mom..did you maybe take it the wrong way..I agree its something you should not be talking about to your table in case someone could be offended..but I don't agree the poor girl should lose her job over it, you talked to the manager I think that is enough..

 

[ShannonMB]

I'm glad you spoke with Guest Services and came to a resolution, OP! And I am quite sure they were extremely glad to hear from you. When something unfortunate happens that leaves a bad taste in a guest's mouth, especially if it was the actions of a CM, Guest Services has the opportunity to make what was going to be a big ugly memory amidst all the wonderful ones into another wonderful one. In my personal experience, they will go to great lengths to do so, and THAT is one of the things that makes a Disney trip downright magical. When I think back to the incident where they got involved for us, I get warm fuzzies instead of agitation and aggravation. Which most certainly has contributed to my continuing to book vacations.

Also, sometimes you just have to get something off your chest! Most people don't care to pay top dollar to be insulted!

 

[ElyseInWonderland]

I disagree that it's not idiotic for someone to tell a story like that after your child has already been diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis comes from more than just a speech delay. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation for them and sometimes it is hard not to fill the space with words.

Instead of saying "i'm so sorry, what can I do for you" it feels better to tell a story showing how you can relate because you ALMOST experienced the same thing but whew you didn't really. To me this is insensitive and more about the story teller's feelings of awkwardness and wishing to relate and level the playing field when there is an awful tragedy than the recipient of the story's feelings.

What if someone started telling a parent pushing their child in a wheelchair about how their child was late walking, but oops it was nothing and they were SO worried that their child might end up with mobility issues? Would that give you hope or would it make you feel like they are insensitive to your feelings? Or how about after your mother dies someone saying "yeah my mother was in the hospital for a few days and it was SO scary but she is home and fine now." Same kind of thing. It does not offer hope to someone to point out they were worried to but it ended up being nothing once your child has already been diagnosed. it is highly insensitive. I wouldn't go as far as to say intentionally mean but definitely tone deaf to the situation.

Agreed. Tone deaf is exactly the right term. I volunteer as a grief counselor and I cringe when I hear people tell other who are grieving a personal loss "my dog died, I know how you feel" or "well, everything happens for a reason." Those phrases make the speaker feel better but don't necessarily do anything to show empathy for the grieving person.

Getting back to the point, I'm sorry that CM was tone-deaf to your family and situation!

 

[sharadoc]

I disagree that it's not idiotic for someone to tell a story like that after your child has already been diagnosed with autism. The diagnosis comes from more than just a speech delay. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation for them and sometimes it is hard not to fill the space with words.

Instead of saying "i'm so sorry, what can I do for you" it feels better to tell a story showing how you can relate because you ALMOST experienced the same thing but whew you didn't really. To me this is insensitive and more about the story teller's feelings of awkwardness and wishing to relate and level the playing field when there is an awful tragedy than the recipient of the story's feelings.

What if someone started telling a parent pushing their child in a wheelchair about how their child was late walking, but oops it was nothing and they were SO worried that their child might end up with mobility issues? Would that give you hope or would it make you feel like they are insensitive to your feelings? Or how about after your mother dies someone saying "yeah my mother was in the hospital for a few days and it was SO scary but she is home and fine now." Same kind of thing. It does not offer hope to someone to point out they were worried to but it ended up being nothing once your child has already been diagnosed. it is highly insensitive. I wouldn't go as far as to say intentionally mean but definitely tone deaf to the situation.

Thanks. That's exactly how it felt to me.

 

[alliecats]

Actually...nope! I didn't mention working, daycare, or anything! She just saw all of our kids and started talking about how much she loved being a mom and how she only got to do it twice so she wanted to do it right, then proceeded to talk about her son's stepmom working and how she didn't agree with it, etc, etc. if nothing else, it was bizarre for someone to go into such a personal topic with us not even saying a word.

Her speech had nothing to do with you -- it was all about her and her need to feel like she knows "the one best way" and also to vent some extreme bitterness at her son's stepmom. It's weird, since she appears to be a working mother herself, unless her ex has full custody of her son...in which case, that was all insecurity talking. Her oversharing like this to complete strangers in a professional setting kind of indicates she is not the most stable person. Have a GREAT time on the rest of your vacation.