Bad day at Pre-K Mom in need of advice....

[tiggereyore]

yesterday my mom dropped of the 4 yr old DS to school, he was all excited and happy(only 2nd day). Breif history here Levi went to toddler school at 2 crying the whole way, took till xmas to get over that. He is shy and reserved,tends to gravitate toward 2-3 people, loves to help, had 2 accidents since he was trained (this will come into play in a minute), doesn't like lots of loud noises.

Well here comes the need help part: Drop off went well, Mrs. "D" (the teacher) told him to leave is show and tell in his backpack(mom thought she was kind harsh) they played for a while, then the whole school went in to the gym for an assembly(Levi said he covered his ears), after that it was time for snack as Mrs."D" was opening someone elses milk he said he need to go to the bathroom (outside class down the hall) we'll I don't know how long he waited but there was an accident and she says to him the bathrooms down the hall and took him to the nurse who gave him cloths to wear. This is how he reapeated it to me. This is his first time at this school we are responsible for pick up and drop off they never told us that we were to wait in the lobby for them and other things, seems like poor communication to me.

Do I call the school? There was no note sent home and he said he was scared about show and tell although we had talked about it? He's always had to have his ducks in a row and I know he will need to adapt but he's 4. Help has anyone been in this spot??

 

[kejoda]

Whenever you have a problem with the school you need to talk to them about it. It could be just first few days confusion. God luck.

 

[janette]

The accident was probably more because he wasn't used to the situation and tried to wait too long and he was too shy to protest when the teacher said to wait. The teacher also wouldn't have realized that he really couldn't wait. They may not have mentioned it because it probably isn't something that is real out of the ordinary for that age group. Especially on the first day, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

 

[Mskanga]

Accident or not they should have mentioned something with either a phone call or a note, but I agree, if you have any questions or concerns you should call the school and talk to the teacher or whoever is in charge. You know your child better than anyone else and if after speaking to the school , something still isn't quite right , then I would start looking for another pre-school that may be better for him. Good luck.

 

[Girls Scout Leader]

I understand the potty problem. My DD whos fine at 13 now ,had many little tine accidents during the day. Soemtims she could hardly feel it. No doc we found could help. Got real tired of the "she'll outgrow it" thing. Night times were a nightmare til they came out with the pull ups. Anyway, she had a little tiny accident on the bus, not enough to show, was too embarrased (she was in 1st gr.) to tell her teacher, but apparently there was a smell. I got a uppity note from the teacher about please bathe your child regularly to advoid unpleasant odors that can cause lower self esteem. I tried to explain to the teacher about the problem and send spare jeans and underthings, but that teacher always looked down her nose to us. I really hope, for both of your sakes that your son's teacher is more understanding.

 

[piratesmate]

In all the time DD was at day care, she never came home to tell us about any "event" (accident, boo-boo, etc) that we hadn't first heard about from someone at the school. I thought it was SOP for daycare from what they told me.

I would try to find the time to stop in to speak with someone rather than calling - just to make sure you understand their procedures, etc. Sometimes it's hard to "read" people over the phone.

I've often thought that I was spoiled by such a kind, caring day care center, but I would certainly expect that any teacher would try to find out about each of her student's quirks & needs. If they don't ask, maybe you need to take the initiative & tell them. From my experience, both as a teacher & a mom, many 4 yo's hate loud noises, are intimidated in strange situations & wait to go to the bathroom until the last minute.

 

[tiggereyore]

and there is a bunch of miscommunication. Hand book wasn't ready for his class (we'll be getting it tues), teachers 2nd yr. the unwritten policy is to call the parent to let them know the child will be in different cloths @pick up the also are supposed to put a note in the child's stuff w/ the circumstances. Oh well this will be a learning experience. Doesn't help that I feel like an overbearing mother. Of course the principal said if she had questions about her meds (I own a pharmacy) she'd be on the phone looking for answers.
Thanks for the advice I knew I'd get it here.
Christy

 

[Serena]

One more tidbit, if you go to the daycare regularly the teachers get the chance to know you and that always helps.

And one more thing. It depended on the child, but usually the kids were totally adjusted to day care by one month. Most long before that.